I Give my Heart to you on this Crimson Day
Chapter 45: Breaking Point
Erin’s P.O.V
Zack and I walked into his house angrily…. The car ride home was nothing but a bitter trip. He was pissed off and I could tell that he was so sick of everything going on.
“Why do you bring so much bad Erin?” He said raising his voice at me and I stood there trying to stay calm so that I didn’t veer over to the dark side. He stood there with his hands on his hips waiting for me to respond.
“I don’t purposely do this Zack! And it would be helpful if you would lower your voice so that I don’t get pissed off” I said rather loudly.
“Listen I fucking love you but for Christ sakes Erin…. YOU ARE DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE!!” He said and he threw his bottle of beer towards the wall but before it hit everything froze. I sat there covering my face in fear of the glass shattering but I moved them down when I noticed that nothing happened. I walked over to Zack and waved my hand in front of his face but he didn’t move at all. I sat down on the couch and rubbed my hands on my legs.
“Haven’t you had enough of hurting him Erin?” I heard someone ask me softly. I sat there and started crying looking at my rings. I was feeling a little conflicted and it hurt me that I was causing nothing but trouble for Zack and the rest of the gang.
“So much pain; you could have just let them live a normal life” The person said and I still was unsure of what was going on.
“I didn’t ask for this” I said softly letting fresh tears run down my face. I looked over to Zack again and saw the pain and anger on his face. I knew that this was extremely frustrating and I wanted it to be over just as much as he did.
“You need to leave; you need to walk away and let them live…. Let Zack live” The voice said and I just started crying even more. I had just married Zack… I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. And who knows… This could hurt him more than help him.
“He can’t handle this for very much longer” The voice said and then drifted away and I jumped hearing the bottle break against the wall and the glass drop to the ground. I looked at the wall and then rubbed my arms knowing that I had really done it this time.
“You said that you wanted to be with me till the end” I said and he sighed and threw up his arms.
“There is only so much that I can take Erin” He said and I tried so hard to fight back the tears. I knew that there was a breaking point.
“I can make this all end Zack and you will never have any more problems… I can let you go” I said and he just stared at me blankly. I at least thought that there was going to be a reaction from him but he was so hurt that I wasn’t getting anything out of him. I sighed and I grabbed at my rings and pulled them off and set them on the coffee table and walked over to my house. Not a word left Zack’s mouth on my way out. When I walked in, Izzy and Jimmy were watching TV nearly passed out on the couch. Izzy shot up when she saw me tearing up and I just ran upstairs away from everyone. I felt terrible; I looked out the window and I could see into Zack’s room. He was sitting on his bed and was looking at the rings that I had left. He set them down on the nightstand and then slid his ring off and set it down next to mine. I really did it…. I was ending the best thing that ever happened to me…. What was worse though is that he had no will power to fight for me anymore. I sat down on my bed in silence.
“No more pain or harm will come to him Erin realize that” The voice again whispered in my ear.
“Now come to me Erin…. Come to me and end this…. Rule with me…. Make things right” The voice said clear enough for me to know that it was Papa Gates. I was going crazy now knowing that I just listened to him and ended what I had with Zack. I ran downstairs and outside and it was cold. I dropped to the ground crying and I felt someone pick me up off the ground and stand me back up.
“Are you ready to leave this all behind Erin” It was Papa Gates. He stood about 4 feet from me and his hand was extended out to me. I sighed and was conflicted. All of the band walked outside from hearing the ruckus that we were making…. Even Zack came out to see what was going on. I stood there and looked around at everyone and recounted the past month or so and how much has happened and what I have put them through. I looked over to Zack and walked over to him and kissed him gently and pulled away gazing into his eyes.
“I am so sorry that I have put you through this. You deserve a normal life Zack…. All of you do” I said and looked around at everyone. I looked at Papa Gates and he smiled.
“Don’t do this Erin” Val called out and I looked over to her. I sat there for a moment and then realized that this is what I needed to do. I knew that everyone was at their breaking point and this would just end everything.
“This is for the best; you all need to just let me go and forget me…. I need you to forget me” I said and I looked at Papa Gates once again hoping that they didn’t put up anymore of a fight for this. Even though deep inside I wish that Zack wouldn’t have just let me go as easily as he did.
“This is not what your mother wanted for you Erin. She wanted you to fight and live with the man that you love and the people that love you” Jimmy stepped forward and I sat there and went to a little bit of a dark place because I felt myself change.
“Then why did the man I love let me go so easily” I asked him and he stepped back in shock not only from my statement but from my eyes.
“Be the girl that I met when you first came to California” Johnny said which struck me the most. I sat there and then shook my head…. I slowly walked towards Papa Gates waiting to see if Zack would say something. I looked back at him and he still had no expression on his face.
“I love you” I said and then put my hand on Papa Gates while still looking at Zack and then we were gone and in Hell. He brought me into his office and I sat down in one of the chairs and he handed me a drink. I took it down and then set the glass down on his desk. I saw Papa Gates press a button on his phone.
“Please let Meaghan and Jake know that they can come into my office now” He said and I just sighed and he looked me dead in the eyes.
“You are going to like it here Erin” He said and I was numb. I wasn’t even letting anything come in…. I built a wall to take out all of my emotions. Meaghan and Jake both came into the room and sat down waiting to see what Papa Gates had to say.
“So as you can see… Erin has come with me willingly” Gates said and I just looked over at Jake and he seemed a little down that I had actually come here when he knew that Zack and I were together.
“I thought that she was bound to Zack” Jake said questioning what was going on.
“Mr. Baker made the decision to let Erin walk out the door. He reached his breaking point and out of stupidity he lost the woman that he loves” Gates replied.
“Just because I came with you willingly doesn’t mean that you can talk bad about Zack!” I said loudly making everyone jump. Gates looked at me.
“Don’t let that smart mouth run free Erin… I can easily take you down” Gates said and I just laughed from that moronic statement.
“You can think whatever you want to think” I said and he just sighed and went back to what he was saying.
“I need the two of you to get things ready for the vow that she will be making to stay with me. It is going to be a glorious party and I will be sure to invite everyone. Meaghan you can help her with the dress. We only have a couple days so lets make this happen. Now Erin should get some rest. Take her to my chambers so that she can sleep” Gates said motioning me and the others out of the room. I walked in silence to his chambers and they shut the doors behind me. I sat there on the edge of Papa Gates bed knowing there was no way that I was going to sleep. This was going to be hard to let go of… I don’t know how I am going to let go of something that was so great…
But I wanted things to be better for them all….
A life with no pain… no heartbreak…. No death.
And no breaking points…
Zack and I walked into his house angrily…. The car ride home was nothing but a bitter trip. He was pissed off and I could tell that he was so sick of everything going on.
“Why do you bring so much bad Erin?” He said raising his voice at me and I stood there trying to stay calm so that I didn’t veer over to the dark side. He stood there with his hands on his hips waiting for me to respond.
“I don’t purposely do this Zack! And it would be helpful if you would lower your voice so that I don’t get pissed off” I said rather loudly.
“Listen I fucking love you but for Christ sakes Erin…. YOU ARE DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE!!” He said and he threw his bottle of beer towards the wall but before it hit everything froze. I sat there covering my face in fear of the glass shattering but I moved them down when I noticed that nothing happened. I walked over to Zack and waved my hand in front of his face but he didn’t move at all. I sat down on the couch and rubbed my hands on my legs.
“Haven’t you had enough of hurting him Erin?” I heard someone ask me softly. I sat there and started crying looking at my rings. I was feeling a little conflicted and it hurt me that I was causing nothing but trouble for Zack and the rest of the gang.
“So much pain; you could have just let them live a normal life” The person said and I still was unsure of what was going on.
“I didn’t ask for this” I said softly letting fresh tears run down my face. I looked over to Zack again and saw the pain and anger on his face. I knew that this was extremely frustrating and I wanted it to be over just as much as he did.
“You need to leave; you need to walk away and let them live…. Let Zack live” The voice said and I just started crying even more. I had just married Zack… I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. And who knows… This could hurt him more than help him.
“He can’t handle this for very much longer” The voice said and then drifted away and I jumped hearing the bottle break against the wall and the glass drop to the ground. I looked at the wall and then rubbed my arms knowing that I had really done it this time.
“You said that you wanted to be with me till the end” I said and he sighed and threw up his arms.
“There is only so much that I can take Erin” He said and I tried so hard to fight back the tears. I knew that there was a breaking point.
“I can make this all end Zack and you will never have any more problems… I can let you go” I said and he just stared at me blankly. I at least thought that there was going to be a reaction from him but he was so hurt that I wasn’t getting anything out of him. I sighed and I grabbed at my rings and pulled them off and set them on the coffee table and walked over to my house. Not a word left Zack’s mouth on my way out. When I walked in, Izzy and Jimmy were watching TV nearly passed out on the couch. Izzy shot up when she saw me tearing up and I just ran upstairs away from everyone. I felt terrible; I looked out the window and I could see into Zack’s room. He was sitting on his bed and was looking at the rings that I had left. He set them down on the nightstand and then slid his ring off and set it down next to mine. I really did it…. I was ending the best thing that ever happened to me…. What was worse though is that he had no will power to fight for me anymore. I sat down on my bed in silence.
“No more pain or harm will come to him Erin realize that” The voice again whispered in my ear.
“Now come to me Erin…. Come to me and end this…. Rule with me…. Make things right” The voice said clear enough for me to know that it was Papa Gates. I was going crazy now knowing that I just listened to him and ended what I had with Zack. I ran downstairs and outside and it was cold. I dropped to the ground crying and I felt someone pick me up off the ground and stand me back up.
“Are you ready to leave this all behind Erin” It was Papa Gates. He stood about 4 feet from me and his hand was extended out to me. I sighed and was conflicted. All of the band walked outside from hearing the ruckus that we were making…. Even Zack came out to see what was going on. I stood there and looked around at everyone and recounted the past month or so and how much has happened and what I have put them through. I looked over to Zack and walked over to him and kissed him gently and pulled away gazing into his eyes.
“I am so sorry that I have put you through this. You deserve a normal life Zack…. All of you do” I said and looked around at everyone. I looked at Papa Gates and he smiled.
“Don’t do this Erin” Val called out and I looked over to her. I sat there for a moment and then realized that this is what I needed to do. I knew that everyone was at their breaking point and this would just end everything.
“This is for the best; you all need to just let me go and forget me…. I need you to forget me” I said and I looked at Papa Gates once again hoping that they didn’t put up anymore of a fight for this. Even though deep inside I wish that Zack wouldn’t have just let me go as easily as he did.
“This is not what your mother wanted for you Erin. She wanted you to fight and live with the man that you love and the people that love you” Jimmy stepped forward and I sat there and went to a little bit of a dark place because I felt myself change.
“Then why did the man I love let me go so easily” I asked him and he stepped back in shock not only from my statement but from my eyes.
“Be the girl that I met when you first came to California” Johnny said which struck me the most. I sat there and then shook my head…. I slowly walked towards Papa Gates waiting to see if Zack would say something. I looked back at him and he still had no expression on his face.
“I love you” I said and then put my hand on Papa Gates while still looking at Zack and then we were gone and in Hell. He brought me into his office and I sat down in one of the chairs and he handed me a drink. I took it down and then set the glass down on his desk. I saw Papa Gates press a button on his phone.
“Please let Meaghan and Jake know that they can come into my office now” He said and I just sighed and he looked me dead in the eyes.
“You are going to like it here Erin” He said and I was numb. I wasn’t even letting anything come in…. I built a wall to take out all of my emotions. Meaghan and Jake both came into the room and sat down waiting to see what Papa Gates had to say.
“So as you can see… Erin has come with me willingly” Gates said and I just looked over at Jake and he seemed a little down that I had actually come here when he knew that Zack and I were together.
“I thought that she was bound to Zack” Jake said questioning what was going on.
“Mr. Baker made the decision to let Erin walk out the door. He reached his breaking point and out of stupidity he lost the woman that he loves” Gates replied.
“Just because I came with you willingly doesn’t mean that you can talk bad about Zack!” I said loudly making everyone jump. Gates looked at me.
“Don’t let that smart mouth run free Erin… I can easily take you down” Gates said and I just laughed from that moronic statement.
“You can think whatever you want to think” I said and he just sighed and went back to what he was saying.
“I need the two of you to get things ready for the vow that she will be making to stay with me. It is going to be a glorious party and I will be sure to invite everyone. Meaghan you can help her with the dress. We only have a couple days so lets make this happen. Now Erin should get some rest. Take her to my chambers so that she can sleep” Gates said motioning me and the others out of the room. I walked in silence to his chambers and they shut the doors behind me. I sat there on the edge of Papa Gates bed knowing there was no way that I was going to sleep. This was going to be hard to let go of… I don’t know how I am going to let go of something that was so great…
But I wanted things to be better for them all….
A life with no pain… no heartbreak…. No death.
And no breaking points…
Notes
Sorry if it is a little short but I wanted to get something up tonight!Comments are welcome!! I love hearing everyone's thoughts!!
Love you all!!
JIMMY!!!
3/28/18