I walked out of the room, feeling guilt wash over me. I knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew it was even illegal. I couldn't help it, though. I loved her much more than a sister, and I wanted to do way more than I could as her brother.

If Mom and Dad knew what you were doing...

Shut up! They don't know, they're fucking dead. I couldn't care less. I have Courtney all to myself locked away in this house with no one to interfere.

Except for Matt who actually cares about her.

I care about her.

No, no you don't. If you truly cared about her, you wouldn't do the things you do to her.

I care about her. No matter what anybody says. I care a lot about her.

I'm crazy. I sound crazy, I look crazy, I feel crazy. But what I doto with Courtney is not crazy.

"I'm not insane, I'm not insane. I'm not insane, I'm not... not insane," my phone rang and I grabbed it from the table. Of all times for me to have this ringtone set...

"Hello," I asked aggitated, not bothering to look at the caller ID. Bad move.

"Where the fuck is she, you bastard," Matt yelled. Shit...

"Give it up, man," I said tiredly. "She's happy here-"

"The hell she is! She was going to tell me where you hid her before you took the phone from her!" I rolled my eyes. Dammit, Courtney...

"Listen, Shads-"

"Don't even start, Brian," Matt growled. "I won't tell anyone about this if you just bring Courtney back and she can stay at my house where she's safe."

"Zack doesn't know?" I was sure he would tell them.

"None of the guys do, but they will if you don't bring her back." I rubbed my eyes and, when I looked up, I saw Courtney standing in the archway of the bedroom. I bit my lip.

"I'll call you back, all right? I need to talk to Courtney."

"Let me talk to her real quick." I sighed and held the phone out in Court's direction. She shook her head no. I put the phone back to my ear. "She doesn't want to talk."

"That's bullshit, Bri-"

"No, it's not. She probably won't even talk to me."

"I wonder why," Matt muttered right before hanging up. I took a deep breath before setting the phone back down onto the table. I looked up at Courtney.

"Are you still in pain," I asked quietly, shoving my hands into my pockets. She nodded. "Then why didn't you stay in bed?" She looked at my cell phone. She heard it ring.

"Who was it," she whispered. I looked at the phone also, debating. "Was it Matt," she pressed. Lying to her wasn't on my list of favourite things to do.

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing, don't-"

"Don't tell me to not worry about it, Brian," she said, raising her voice. "What did he say?" I sighed. I owed her.

"He wants me to bring you home," I murmured, "and by home, he means his place."

"What's wrong with that?" I stared at her incredulously. She did not just say that.

"I would never see you," I said slowly. "We would never..." I looked around, trying to make sense of what I wanted to say. "I would never be alone with you." She seemed unfazed. I rolled my eyes and walked outside, slamming the door shut behind me. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking long drags to calm my nerves.

Silence. Cigarette. Silence. Argument. Cigarette. Silence. That's how the day went. All of this until she finally fell asleep when I was outside. It was late so I ended up climbing into bed next to her and instantly dozed off.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night thanks to a nightmare. One brought on by my conversation with Matt. I rubbed my eyes and looked down. Courtney wasn't there. The bed was empty. Scared, I got up and ran out of the room. I stopped when I saw Court sleeping peacefully on the couch. I walked over and kneeled down next to her, brushing hair out of her face. I smiled and kissed her forehead. It's starting to get to her. What we did together. Not that it didn't before, but she's probably been thinking a lot about it lately. I hate that I had to bring her all the way out here in order for her to realize I'm stuck in my ways and that's the way it stays.