Scream

"I wanna drink," I said, watching Brian's reaction. He looked at me with narrow eyes.

"Why?" he asked slowly.

"Why not?" I asked back. He watched me for a few seconds.

"I guess it's okay," he said finally. We walked outside and saw the guys had already started shots.

"Court's taking my shots for me tonight," Brian announced, grabbing a beer for himself. Matt gave me the same look Brian originally did.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "Both of you?" We both nodded.

"You're so fucked," Zacky laughed at me. I smirked and sat next to Brian. Mike was with us tonight.

"How old are you?" Mike asked. I looked at Brian.

"She's fifteen," he said.

"And you're gonna let her take your shots for you?" Brian shrugged.

"Let her find out it sucks on her own." He nudged me and I smiled. Matt brought over a shotglass.

"Bottoms up," he said, clinking it and taking his own. I looked at it unsure.

"Don't think about it," Brian said in my ear. "Just knock it back." I did exactly what he said and barely tasted it.

"Like a fucking pro!" Johnny yelled. The girls walked over from where ever they were and cheered, also.

"We totally just saw that!" Lacey shrieked. "You go, girl!" I felt myself blush. Gena and Zack took turns making shots; Gena's were fruity while Zack's were harsher. After the second shot, my vision started splitting in half.

"How ya doing?" Brian murmured.

"The top half is going left and the bottom half is going right," I said with a small smile and his own matched mine.

"Don't take more than you can handle." He ran his hand through my hair.

"Brian, don't talk her out of shit!" Zack said, bringing over another one.

"I'm not, I'm not," Brian smirked, drinking more of his beer. I did the shot with the other guys and handed my glass back to Zacky.

"What next?" Gena asked, looking to me. "Do you know any shots that sound good?" I sighed and thought about it.

"What about, like, strawberry short cake?"

"I can do that!" She got to work, looking at different bottles.

"Babe, just look up how to do it," Zack whined.

"Shut up, bitch!" She continued and I leaned against Brian and I felt his phone vibrate.

"Are you gonna get that?" I asked quietly. He shook his head.

"I know what it says. I'll tell you later," he said emotionless. My vision was getting worse so I let it go. After the fifth shot, I caught Johnny shaking his head at me.

"You're handling this way too well," he said.

"She hasn't stood up yet," Brian said, keeping his arm along the back of my chair.

"Shut up, Brian," I said, squinting.

"But she's not slurring or anything," Zack observed.

"I can't see straight," I said sheepishly. I sat up and felt everything shift with my sight.

"Stand up," Matt said. I pushed myself up and I felt Brian's hand on my back. I swayed a little and got laughs from everyone.

"Yep, she's done," Johnny said.

"One more!" Lacey yelled, bringing me a shot. I sat back down and held it. Before I even thought about it, Brian took it from my hand and knocked it back himself.

"Brian, what the hell?" Gena yelled.

"She's done, I'm not letting her do anymore," he said, setting the glass down and finishing his beer. I didn't say anything as I stared at the ground, feeling my throat tighten.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked, noticing my posture.

"I don't feel good," I whispered. He instantly stood up and pulled me with him.

"Back to our bus, let's go," he said. I kept eyes on the ground in front of me to minimize my possibility of tripping and I felt Brian on my trail. I ran into our bus straight to the bathroom and collapsed in front of the toilet as the alcohol made its way back up.

I felt Brian move my hair out of my face and hold it at my neck as I coughed.

"You're okay," he whispered, rubbing my back.

"Who was the text from?" I asked, sitting back against him when I felt like I was done. He pulled his phone out and showed me. It was Matt.

Don't let anything happen.

"Seriously?" I asked, looking at him. "Is he serious?"

"I can see why he'd be nervous," he admitted.

I shot forward as more came up and he continued holding my hair.

"Thank you for taking that last shot," I whispered.

"No problem, baby." I leaned against him again and he kissed the top of my head.

"Can we go to bed?" I asked.

"Of course, do you need help?" I nodded. He cradled me against his chest and stood up slowly. I kept my eyes shut as I felt Brian kick our door open and walk a few steps before he set me down on the bed.

"Can you get undressed on your own?" he asked.

"Doubt it," I muttered. I felt him unbutton my jeans and I opened my eyes to smirk and wink.

"Oh, stop," he chuckled as he tugged them off. He sat me up and pulled my shirt over my head and unclasped my bra. I watched him as he took his own shirt off and handed it to me.

"I don't want to pull your hair or anything," he said as I put it on.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked, still smirking.

"Funny," he said, tapping my nose. He stood and walked over to his own side, taking his pants off in the process. He shut the light off and climbed into bed next to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Gross," I said. "Can I have some of your water?"

He handed me the bottle. "Only a couple sips."

I did as he said and gave the bottle back to him, cuddling into his side. "I'm not tired," I murmured.

"What do you wanna do, then?"

I kissed his cheek, running my hand down his chest. "Take a guess."

"Babe, no," he said, holding my hand in his, stopping it at his waist.

"Why not?"

"Not while you're drunk, absolutely not."

"Is it because of Matt?"

He sighed. "I mean, a little I guess. He's already suspicious-"

"No," I said, drawing it out. "He's paranoid. There's a difference."

"And I don't wanna give him a reason to actually believe anything is going on."

"Brian, please?" I jumped up. "You said we'd finish up later, right? From earlier? It's later!"

"Courtney," Brian said sternly. "Not tonight. If you still want to tomorrow, then of course. Whenever. Just not when you're drunk."

I fell back onto my pillow, looking at the ceiling. I felt his eyes on me.

"Please don't be mad," he said quietly.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"I don't understand why it matters if I'm drunk," I said.

"Because no one is themselves while they're drunk-"

"People are truer when they're drunk!" I exclaimed.

"Courtney, shh," Brian turned to me and rested his hand on my stomach. "When Matt asks tomorrow if we did anything, which he will, I want to tell him we didn't."

"You can tell him that no matter what!"

"I don't want to risk him seeing through me."

"And what about if he asks if you wanted to?" I countered.

He slouched. "Then I'll have to lie, but I doubt he will ask that."

"Brian, you want to," I said as convincingly as I could. "Please?"

He cupped my cheek in his hand. "Baby, I always want to. I am so sorry that I can't this one time."

I huffed. "Can I take my sleeping pill now?"

"No, not with alcohol in your system." I looked at him with wide eyes.

"Seriously? When did you become such a dad?"

He looked taken aback by that. "When I had to take care of you by myself? And to be quite honest I don't think I've done the best job so far."

"Because I don't want you as my dad or my brother, Brian!"

"Well I'm sorry, Courtney, but that's how it has to be for now. There's nothing I can do about it." He laid back down on his pillow and went on his phone.

I turned over to face the other way before I muttered, "You didn't have to take care of me if you didn't want to."

"Then who else would've?" his voice boomed. "Aunt Carol in Oakland? Or maybe Aunt Vanessa in Chicago?"

"Probably."

"And then I would've never seen you, is that what you would've wanted? Because you can still go with them-"

"You only wanted me for one reason, Brian, you and I both know that."

He didn't say anything for a second while what I realized what I said.

"Are you being serious right now?" he asked, beyond angry. "Is that really how you feel?"

"I don't know," I murmured quietly.

"You just said drinking makes you tell the truth, Courtney, so that must be what you really think of me." I didn't say anything, so he continued. "I'm your fucking brother for Christ's sake. No matter what my intentions were, I wasn't going to let you move with a family member that knew nothing about you. Your best interests trumped every other thought I had. But keep believing whatever's in your head."

I stayed silent as his head hit the pillow once again and he didn't say another word. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to fall asleep soon.

***

Brian was still pissed the next morning. He was outside smoking a cigarette when I woke up with a throbbing headache. As I went through the drawer for the Tylenol, he walked back in wearing only sweatpants. He glanced at me as I swallowed two but didn't say anything. He got new clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I stayed in bed on my phone until he came back out when he was done. He took his acoustic guitar and took it out to the living area still without saying a single word.

I wasn't going to be the one that ended that silence.

Once my headache started fading, I took out the laptop and distracted myself with whatever I could. I heard Brian play a lot before he would go outside to smoke and then come back in to resume playing. Around 7 PM, he finally came back into the room and set the acoustic on its stand. I kept my eyes on my screen as he picked up his sunglasses, looked around, and left again. That was probably the last time I'd see him until after the concert.

I heard them start playing around 9 PM, so I put my headphones in to drown it out. I played my non-A7X playlist (you had to have one when you were surrounded by the music constantly) while I wrote. Most of what I came up with was shit, but I needed something to take my mind off of Brian.

When I gave up because it wasn't working, I put that away and turned on the TV, searching for a movie. I settled onThe Longest Yard. At some point I dozed off, because I woke up to someone shaking me.

"Leave me alone," I groaned, thinking it was Brian.

"Courtney, get up, we have to go," Matt said urgently. My eyes shot open.

"What?" I sat up, feeling adrenaline start pulsing through me at the tone of his voice. "Matt, why? What happened?"

"It's Brian. He got arrested."

Notes

Chapter title credit: Black Veil Brides
Shorter chapter, but damn Courtney. You done fucked up.
Should the next chapter be in Courtney's or Brian's POV? Comment what you think/want.
Thanks for reading.