Scream

"You okay?" Brian asked.

I nodded hurriedly.

"All right, just making sure. Sit down, eat something."

I did as he said and mentally kicked myself.

Way to go, dumbass.

I cringed slightly but I don't think anyone noticed. If they did, they didn't say anything.

"So what are the plans for the day?" Johnny asked no one in particular, focusing on his food. Matt placed a plate of toast in front of me and I took a piece.

"We should probably rehearse for the tour more," Brian said, "considering it starts next week." I totally forgot about that.

"Are you still coming with us, Court?" Zack asked. Matt answered before I had a chance.

"Of course, where else would she rather be?" I glimpsed at Brian, but he was looking at his plate, mixing his eggs with ketchup.

They continued to discuss tour stuff while I nibbled on my toast, sharing glances with Brian every so often. I finally stood up after finishing the piece and Brian almost jumped up with me.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I still have to take a shower," I said.

"We're probably gonna go down to the studio then after, feel free to come hang with us," Matt said.

I nodded and went upstairs, grabbed clothes from my room and went into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and undressed, stepping in when it was hot enough. I let the water burn my skin to keep me grounded so my mind didn't wander, and I was almost completely relaxed until I heard the door open. I spun around but only saw a blur of a person.

"It's me," Brian said. He went into the cabinet under the sink and started rifling through everything.

"Are you looking for something?" I asked, keeping my back to the shower door.

"Yeah, but I think it's under the kitchen sink. Whatever." He stood in place for a few seconds before asking, "can we talk?"

"I guess, yeah." I squirted shampoo into my hand and lathered it into my hair. Might as well do what I came in here to do.

"Things aren't weird, right? Between us?"

"No, why would they be?"

"Just the way you came downstairs today... are you rethinking what we talked about?"

I started washing my body and said, "no."

"Are you sure?"

"You said I was in charge, Brian."

"I know."

I rinsed myself off to get all the shampoo and soap out, and turned the water off. "Can I have my towel?" I heard the toilet creak as he stood up from it and the shower door opened.

"Jesus, Courtney," he said, touching my back. "How hot did you have the water?"

"Hot enough," I muttered. He wrapped me in the towel like he did when I was younger and turned me around so I was looking at him. He picked me up and held me tight before setting me down on the rug in front of the sink. He kept his arms around me.

"I'm just worried about you. I don't want you to think you're alone in all of this."

"Okay."

"Did you hear something at the table? You cringed at nothing-"

"Don't talk about it."

He nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and released me. "We'll be downstairs."

I didn't say anything so he walked out into the hallway. I leaned against the sink for a long time until I figured it was time to get dressed. I brushed my hair and dried it with the blowdryer to waste extra time.

I made my way to the basement in the middle of their rehearsal of "Critical Acclaim." I sat on the couch and watched, laughing every time one of them screwed up. They had a drum track to cover Jimmy's missing spot, along with his singing on any songs he had spots on that they planned on playing. Dream Theater's Mike Portnoy was going to help them with the tour, but he was rehearsing on his own before meeting up for the tour. I hadn't met him yet but I was assuming he had no idea the complexity of our little Avenged family.

"Hey Zack, is Gena coming?" I asked.

"Of course," he said smiling, while everyone got drinks.

"Lacey is, too," Johnny chimed in. Thank god I wouldn't be the only female on this trip.

"Let's do 'Welcome to the Family' next," Matt said. Everyone got ready and Matt started the drum track. They were all so focused, especially Brian. I loved watching him play because he was so into it and it reminded me why I loved him in the first place.

They played for hours with Jack Daniels being pulled out somewhere halfway through the session. Zacky tried giving me some but Brian stopped him quicker than I thought was possible.

At some point I dozed off but woke up to the front door shutting. When I looked up, it was just Brian in front of the board and he didn't notice me waking up. He was looking at a paper and messing with the computer. He had the mic in front of him and a drum beat started playing. It sounded completely unfamiliar to me, so it must've been something he's been working on by himself. A keyboard began and my jaw dropped once he started singing.

"January is the color of her skin
February are her lips so inviting
Silk hair as short as her fuse
She's been damaged, she's been misused
Her eyes reflect like the rain on the pavement
I take control, she explodes, sink into her depths
I am the tremble in her voice when she attempts to speak
Fixate on the frailty
We lie awake and watch it grow
She hesitates to grab a hold
Her body shakes, her breath is cold
To keep her safe is all I know."

I made my way into the studio and when he saw me, he almost hit the "stop" button. I mouthed, "keep going."

"Her lipstick stains like acid rain
Dissolving away my sense of restraint
The streetlamps burned through the cloak of the fog
Concealing the violence, I've been stung by the wasp."

I'd sat down next to him and saw the next part was supposed to be a female's voice. I leaned into the mic and went for it, looking at his notes for how he wanted it to sound with him coming in for the middle line.

"So come to me
No sense of restraint
So come for me."

He continued, placing his hand on my knee and keeping eye contact with me the whole time.

"Come with me and disappear without a trace
Criminal, in how I crave the way she tastes
I'm the rapture in her head when she attempts to sleep
It's haunting, she kills me
No time or place to take it slow
And my head aches but I refuse to go
Her face as soft as snow
She looks so lost but she feels like home
Her lipstick stains like acid rain
Dissolving away my sense of restraint
Streetlamps burned through the cloak of the fog
Concealing the violence, I've been stung by the wasp."

And then it was my part with Brian's line.

"So come to me
No sense of restraint
So come for me."

He went again.

"I will wait endlessly
I will break you carefully."

I had another part.

"So take me harmfully
You fit so perfectly
I will wait."

Then for the last parts, he wanted it to be the both of us.

"Her lipstick stains like acid rain
Dissolving away my sense of restraint
The streetlamps burn through the cloak of the fog
Concealing the violence, I've been stung...
Some hurt me again, it's not worth saving
The heart that I've spent my whole life breaking
The windshield cracks through the cloak of the fog
Concealing in silence, I've been stung by the wasp."

The track stopped and we stared at each other. Then, out of nowhere, he took my face in his hands and kissed me like he'd never done before. When we broke apart, he smiled and hooked my hair behind my ear.

"That was amazing," he said quietly.

"The kiss or the song?" I asked. He chuckled.

"Both."

"That's not for the band, is it?"

"No," he said. "I wrote it while you were gone just as something to do, I guess. I have another band interested in using it, so I wanted to record it."

"It's really good," I said. "I'm assuming Matt has no idea it exists."

"Absolutely not. If they knew this was what I was thinking... no way you'd be living here."

Speak of the devil, the front door opened and the guys came scrambling in. We jumped back from each other just in time for Zack to almost trip down the stairs.

"We got alcohol! It's all okay!" he exclaimed, already drunk.

"Hey, look who's up!" Matt said, tousling my hair.

"Yeah, you guys have fun," I said, "I'm gonna go upstairs." Brian smiled sadly.

"Aw, you sure?" Johnny asked, collapsing onto the couch.

"Yep," I laughed and went to my room. I set the laptop down in front of me on my bed and thought about Brian as I waited for it to start up. Why couldn't he have always been like this?

I opened up the advice website and looked at more of the comments on my post. I skimmed them all but my heart stopped when I read the most recent one.

FeelGoodInc93: Courtney?

Notes

Title and song credit goes to Motionless In White for "Wasp."
How do you guys feel about the direction this is going? Comment and let me know.