Scream
Protect Me
"Yeah," I whispered. He glanced down at the rip.
"And you tore your sheet," he murmured. I looked down and pulled my knees up to my chest. "What triggers it?"
"I heard you and Matt talking about it. Talking about them." He moved hair out of my face as I looked up at him.
"It was four years ago, Courtney, you need to let it go-"
"I can't, Brian," I said, looking straight at him. "You weren't there. You wouldn't be able to understand how helpless and scared I felt-"
"You were ten years old," Brian said, raising his voice. "You wouldn't have been able to help them! The car was turned over in the middle of the highway! They were dead before anyone even knew what happened! You're lucky the firefighters were able to get you out before the car exploded-"
"How the hell am I lucky, Brian," I yelled. He didn't flinch from the volume of my voice. "Now I have to live with the guilt that I couldn't save them, that I couldn't even help them! It seems I've been buried alive by the pain and-" Brian stopped me by covering my mouth with his hand.
"Shut. Up." I didn't try taking his hand from my mouth so I just stayed still. He waited a few seconds before saying anything. "If I move my hand, will you stay quiet and listen to me?" I nod, so he removes his hand and sets it on the blanket where my leg was. His expression turned soft along with his voice. "You couldn't have done anything," he whispered. "They're gone. You need to move on."
"They're our parents," I whispered, not able to bring my voice much higher. "I won't ever be able to move on or forget. No matter how hard I try..." I looked down as I felt tears come to my eyes. Brian slipped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He rubbed my back for the next ten minutes until I finished crying.
"Do you want to sleep in my room tonight," he murmured against my hair. I quickly leaned away to give him a shocked look. He caught onto what I was thinking. "Not like that. I mean just in my room. In my bed." I stared at him for a few seconds before saying anything.
"Why would I do that," I said slowly, drawing all the words out. He thought about it.
"If you sleep in my bed with me, I'll be able to wake you up if I hear you talking in your sleep."
"That's a bad reason," I mumbled. He let out a short breath.
"Please just sleep in my room tonight." I didn't say anything for several seconds before I returned his hopeful gaze.
"You're gonna tell me the other reason once I'm in there," I said.
"Fine." I bit my lip.
"All right." He smiled a little as we both stood and walked to his room down the hall. He kept his hand on the small of my back until I sat down on the side of the bed I usually used whenever I was there. I stayed sitting up with the covers over my crossed legs as he sat down next to me. I watched him until he realized why I wasn't doing anything. He took my hand in his and moved his thumb across the back of it.
"I also know you feel safer around me than you do when you're alone," he whispered.
"No I don't-" Brian cut me off.
"You say a lot when you're asleep, baby girl." I ignored his name for me, so he continued. "You said, 'Brian, don't leave, I need you, you keep me safe, don't let me fall'."
"There's no way in hell I said all that-"
"You did, Courtney," Brian sighs. "You act scared around me, but somewhere in your mind, you know you'd rather be around me than without me." I turned away and lay down, pulling the sheets up to my neck with my back to him. I felt his stare on me for a couple seconds after that until he he decided to do the same. He slipped his arms around my waist.
"Brian, don't-" He cut me off.
"Trust me, okay," he asked. I tried relaxing as he pulled me against him and kissed the back of my neck. "Goodnight, baby." I didn't repsond as I quickly went to sleep.
***
"I don't know, man," I heard Brian say from the dining room. "She's really starting to get out of hand." I rub my eyes and sit up, looking at the clock.11:42am.
"This is only the second night in months that she's had the nightmare, Syn," Matt said. "Something had to have triggered it." Dishes clang against each other and then silence for about three seconds.
"Like I said. I don't know. I have no idea how I can help her if she does not want help."
"Does her sleeping in your room help?"
"I think. I mean, she sleeps a lot better when she's in my room."
"What if time away from the house helped?" More silence, but for half a minute this time as dishes got put back in the cupboard.
"What are you talking about," Brian asked, sounding a bit cautious.
"With Val at her parents' place for a little while, she can stay with me for the weekend," Matt suggested. "She seems more relaxed at my place than here, to be honest."
"She barely knows you, Matt-"
"She's known me for as long as I've known you." I heard someone sit down in one of the chairs. Probably Brian. "Maybe the weekend with someone besides you will do her some good. She doesn't really hang out with her friends."
"She doesn't have friends," Brian retorted. "She hasn't had any friends since Mom and Dad died."
"Just think about it, all right? I gotta go pick up some cigarettes, so I'll be back in about ten minutes. Wake her up and see what she thinks." Matt got up and left, so Brian walked down the hall. He stopped in the doorway and stared at me with an unreadable expression.
"Did you hear that entire conversation," he asked, leaning on the doorframe. I nodded. "What do you think?" I looked down and shrugged. "Give me a real damn answer, Courtney." I swallowed back my fear of what he'll do when he hears my opinion on the subject.
"I think he's right," I murmured. Nothing happened for about a minute as Brian watched me and I just gazed downward. He finally walked over to me and sat in front of where I was.
"Which part," he asked quietly, hooking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I should get away from here." I glanced up at him. "Get away from the memories." I looked away when anger flashed across his features.
"Now why would you want to do that when I'm always here, fully able to distract you?" My heart rate increased times ten.
"B-because..." I was shaking. I was stuttering. I was completely freaking out. I was scared out of my mind. I did not want it to happen again. I thought my heart was going to stop. Brian moved so he was right next to me, and he cradled me against his chest so I could calm down. Although he was the reason for my panic attack, I wanted his warmth. I wanted his arms around me. I wanted him always protecting me.
Even if he was the one I needed protection from.
"And you tore your sheet," he murmured. I looked down and pulled my knees up to my chest. "What triggers it?"
"I heard you and Matt talking about it. Talking about them." He moved hair out of my face as I looked up at him.
"It was four years ago, Courtney, you need to let it go-"
"I can't, Brian," I said, looking straight at him. "You weren't there. You wouldn't be able to understand how helpless and scared I felt-"
"You were ten years old," Brian said, raising his voice. "You wouldn't have been able to help them! The car was turned over in the middle of the highway! They were dead before anyone even knew what happened! You're lucky the firefighters were able to get you out before the car exploded-"
"How the hell am I lucky, Brian," I yelled. He didn't flinch from the volume of my voice. "Now I have to live with the guilt that I couldn't save them, that I couldn't even help them! It seems I've been buried alive by the pain and-" Brian stopped me by covering my mouth with his hand.
"Shut. Up." I didn't try taking his hand from my mouth so I just stayed still. He waited a few seconds before saying anything. "If I move my hand, will you stay quiet and listen to me?" I nod, so he removes his hand and sets it on the blanket where my leg was. His expression turned soft along with his voice. "You couldn't have done anything," he whispered. "They're gone. You need to move on."
"They're our parents," I whispered, not able to bring my voice much higher. "I won't ever be able to move on or forget. No matter how hard I try..." I looked down as I felt tears come to my eyes. Brian slipped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. He rubbed my back for the next ten minutes until I finished crying.
"Do you want to sleep in my room tonight," he murmured against my hair. I quickly leaned away to give him a shocked look. He caught onto what I was thinking. "Not like that. I mean just in my room. In my bed." I stared at him for a few seconds before saying anything.
"Why would I do that," I said slowly, drawing all the words out. He thought about it.
"If you sleep in my bed with me, I'll be able to wake you up if I hear you talking in your sleep."
"That's a bad reason," I mumbled. He let out a short breath.
"Please just sleep in my room tonight." I didn't say anything for several seconds before I returned his hopeful gaze.
"You're gonna tell me the other reason once I'm in there," I said.
"Fine." I bit my lip.
"All right." He smiled a little as we both stood and walked to his room down the hall. He kept his hand on the small of my back until I sat down on the side of the bed I usually used whenever I was there. I stayed sitting up with the covers over my crossed legs as he sat down next to me. I watched him until he realized why I wasn't doing anything. He took my hand in his and moved his thumb across the back of it.
"I also know you feel safer around me than you do when you're alone," he whispered.
"No I don't-" Brian cut me off.
"You say a lot when you're asleep, baby girl." I ignored his name for me, so he continued. "You said, 'Brian, don't leave, I need you, you keep me safe, don't let me fall'."
"There's no way in hell I said all that-"
"You did, Courtney," Brian sighs. "You act scared around me, but somewhere in your mind, you know you'd rather be around me than without me." I turned away and lay down, pulling the sheets up to my neck with my back to him. I felt his stare on me for a couple seconds after that until he he decided to do the same. He slipped his arms around my waist.
"Brian, don't-" He cut me off.
"Trust me, okay," he asked. I tried relaxing as he pulled me against him and kissed the back of my neck. "Goodnight, baby." I didn't repsond as I quickly went to sleep.
***
"I don't know, man," I heard Brian say from the dining room. "She's really starting to get out of hand." I rub my eyes and sit up, looking at the clock.11:42am.
"This is only the second night in months that she's had the nightmare, Syn," Matt said. "Something had to have triggered it." Dishes clang against each other and then silence for about three seconds.
"Like I said. I don't know. I have no idea how I can help her if she does not want help."
"Does her sleeping in your room help?"
"I think. I mean, she sleeps a lot better when she's in my room."
"What if time away from the house helped?" More silence, but for half a minute this time as dishes got put back in the cupboard.
"What are you talking about," Brian asked, sounding a bit cautious.
"With Val at her parents' place for a little while, she can stay with me for the weekend," Matt suggested. "She seems more relaxed at my place than here, to be honest."
"She barely knows you, Matt-"
"She's known me for as long as I've known you." I heard someone sit down in one of the chairs. Probably Brian. "Maybe the weekend with someone besides you will do her some good. She doesn't really hang out with her friends."
"She doesn't have friends," Brian retorted. "She hasn't had any friends since Mom and Dad died."
"Just think about it, all right? I gotta go pick up some cigarettes, so I'll be back in about ten minutes. Wake her up and see what she thinks." Matt got up and left, so Brian walked down the hall. He stopped in the doorway and stared at me with an unreadable expression.
"Did you hear that entire conversation," he asked, leaning on the doorframe. I nodded. "What do you think?" I looked down and shrugged. "Give me a real damn answer, Courtney." I swallowed back my fear of what he'll do when he hears my opinion on the subject.
"I think he's right," I murmured. Nothing happened for about a minute as Brian watched me and I just gazed downward. He finally walked over to me and sat in front of where I was.
"Which part," he asked quietly, hooking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"I should get away from here." I glanced up at him. "Get away from the memories." I looked away when anger flashed across his features.
"Now why would you want to do that when I'm always here, fully able to distract you?" My heart rate increased times ten.
"B-because..." I was shaking. I was stuttering. I was completely freaking out. I was scared out of my mind. I did not want it to happen again. I thought my heart was going to stop. Brian moved so he was right next to me, and he cradled me against his chest so I could calm down. Although he was the reason for my panic attack, I wanted his warmth. I wanted his arms around me. I wanted him always protecting me.
Even if he was the one I needed protection from.
Notes
Ayy third chapter. If you would like to keep reading, just message me for the link to the much more advanced version on Mibba. Someone awesome already did. :D- Katelyn
I so glad theres sequel!!!!
10/11/16