Scream
Every Night I'll Suffer (Brian's POV)
I looked up when I heard a creak on the stairs. Matt was standing there. He gestured his head back down in the living room, so I followed him to the couch and sat down.
"I don't know what else I can do, Matt," I muttered, staring at the floor. "You know I'm trying."
"She's not," he replied quietly. "She doesn't like change. She's used things being like this." He was right. Before, I had no idea how to explain how she was acting. I completely understand it now. He continued. "She had no choice but to get used to not having your parents around, but you ended up distracting her from it by doing all kinds of things. Playing guitar for her, singing to her... loving her." He was so right it was sickening.
"How am I supposed to distract her from something I used to do and still want to do?" He thought for a second.
"Act how I act toward her. Like a brother."
"But less affectionate." He knew what I was talking about.
"Yes." We sat in silence for about a minute before we heard screaming from upstairs. My heart stopped as my eyes went wide. Both Matt and I sprinted to Courtney's room, throwing the door open. She was huddled in the corner, pressing the palms of her hands against her ears. I was frozen, I didn't know what to do.
"Courtney," Matt murmured. She looked at him with a sadistic, scared type look in her eyes. "Courtney, it's me, Matt." She stayed silent. He walked closer to her as slow as he could. "Tell me what's wrong, baby." Her breathing seemed to have picked up for a couple heartbeats, but then returned to normal. He got down on one knee one foot in front of her, staring at her with the most compassionate expression I've ever seen on his face. "Talk to me," he whispered. She swallowed.
"They won't leave me alone," she said, her voice cracking in different spots due to her crying.
"Who's they?"
"The voices," she rushed out. Her words began to tumble over one another. "The voices in my head are telling me it's all his fault, that I should kill him and then kill myself, but then they tell me how much I'll be missed by you and I don't know what to do, I want to so bad-"
"No, you don't, Courtney. You don't want to do that, you don't." Her hands started shaking a little. Matt moved forward the smallest bit and she flinched, gasping. He stayed still and kept his eyes on nothing but her. "Do you want to talk to Brian?" She looked at me, but didn't do or say anything. He slowly motioned for me to sit next to him. I walked over, watching her and kneeled down next to Matt.
"Hey, baby," I said, more high-pitched than usual. I felt like crying. As I looked closer, she had fistfuls of her hair clenched in her fists as if she was about to rip it all out. She tightened her grip. "Courtney, Courtney, calm down," I whispered.
She just stared at us. She was shaking from how hard she was breathing and her shoulders kept moving as her chest expanded from the heavy breaths. I kept thinking she was going to explode.
"Courtney, talk to us," Matt whispered, drawing the S out like a hiss. She shifted her eyes from me to him continuously for a minute. She remained silent. I was her own brother and I didn't know what I could do for her. I felt tears prick my eyes and I bit my whole bottom lip, trying to hold them back. She'd never seen me cry before. I dug my nails into my palm before Matt looked at me. He was shocked.
"Brian..." He really didn't know what to say. They were both just staring at me. Matt stood up and walked out, leaving me with Courtney. I fell back so I was sitting.
"I don't know what to do, baby," I muttered defeatedly. "I know this is all my fault, but I don't know what's wrong with you. I can't help you." I hung my head and rested it against my knee which was pulled against my chest. I kept murmuring into my jeans. "This is just too much..."
"Brian," Courtney squeaked. My head shot up to look at her. She was staring at me with tired eyes, as if she were gonna fall asleep in seconds. She relaxed a little and let go of her legs. I crawled closer to her, and she didn't cringe.
"Courtney," I said, concern filling my tone. "A-are you okay?" She went pale and lost consciousness. My heart started pounding and I yelled for Matt. I checked her pulse, which was strong and constant. Matt ran in, eyes wide.
"What happened," he asked, seeing me not panicking.
"She just passed out." He walked over.
"How's her pulse?" I shrugged.
"Strong." I stood up next to him and looked down at her peacefully sleeping state. I leaned down, slipped my arms behind her back and under her knees and picked up, setting her down on the bed. I put her blanket over her and looked at Matt, who sat down at her desk.
"What do you think happened," he asked. I sat down in the dish chair she had in the corner.
"I have no idea." Matt reached out his hand and pressed it against her forehead. He nodded and withdrew it.
"Fever, feels like it just broke."
"But that doesn't explain why she had a near nervous breakdown." We looked at each other, speechless. We didn't even know exactly what happened.
"Hopefully she'll be able to tell us more once she wakes up." His cell phone started vibrating as if someone were calling him (its vibrate is really loud) so he got up and left the room. I looked at Courtney one more time before closing my eyes and inadvertently falling asleep.
"Courtney," I yelled. "Where are you?!" I couldn't find her anywhere. Last place to check was the bathroom. I knocked once and pushed the door open. I gasped shakily. There was a pool of blood where Courtney was sitting against the sink. Both of her wrists were slit. The blood was still pouring. I ran over to her and checked her pulse. It was almost gone. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed 911 while tying towels around the cuts to get them to stop. When the operator picked up, I lost it.
"This is 911, what is your emergency?"
"M-my sister, sh-she's gonna d-die," I stuttered, shaking and tears already streaming down my face. Her pulse was getting weaker by the second.
"What's your address, sir?"
"610 L-Layton Drive in H-Huntington Beach, Calif-fornia." I tried taking deep breaths. The man was typing.
"An ambulance is on the way," he said. "What happened?"
"S-she slit her wr-wrists." A new wave of terror rocked through me as I said those words.
"How much blood is there?"
"Alot, p-pools." I heard sirens. I checked her pulse again.
Nothing.
"Oh god, her pulse," I cried. Two men with a stretcher came in and I stepped back.
"Are the paramedics there," the operator asked. I totally forgot about him.
"Y-yes."
"All right, go to the hospital, I wish you the best of luck."
"Thank you." I hung up as they got Courtney on the stretcher and were taking her out. I sat in the front with the driver and tried my hardest to keep calm. Blood was covering my hands from trying to stop the flow. We got to the ER in less than five minutes and they ran her in. I went after them, but was stopped and told to wait in the waiting room. I couldn't stop crying, I was so scared I was going to lose her. The longest twenty minutes of my life passed before someone came out for me. His expression was unreadable.
"How is she," I asked in a whisper.
"She lost a lot of blood," he said. "Her heart stopped before the ambulance got to your house. They revived her once..." Oh no. "But we couldn't help her the second time." My heart felt like it literally broke into pieces.
"She's... she's... dead?"
"I'm so sorry." I collapsed into one of the chairs and cried my eyes out.
Everything blurred until I was at her funeral. The air was fresh, it was the beginning of spring. The wind blew, making it comfortable to be in a black suit. I wore a black fedora and sunglasses, mainly so no one would see how shitty I looked. I hadn't spoken a single word since the day Courtney died. All I've said was what happened to Matt, who passed it on to the other guys. They were all here, and they were all crying. Especially Matt. The service was over. Everyone was starting to leave. I stood in one place, staring at the coffin that held my sister. The love of my life.
I would never hold her again. Never hug her, never kiss her. Never tell her how much I loved her and cared for her. She would never know what I'd do for her, what I'd give to have her back. When she took her life, she took mine with it.
I gasped and shot up. Courtney was still asleep on her bed. I took deep breaths to calm my erratic heartbeat. She was okay. She wasn't gone. I sighed.
She was always okay when I woke up from that nightmare. Every time I had it.
"I don't know what else I can do, Matt," I muttered, staring at the floor. "You know I'm trying."
"She's not," he replied quietly. "She doesn't like change. She's used things being like this." He was right. Before, I had no idea how to explain how she was acting. I completely understand it now. He continued. "She had no choice but to get used to not having your parents around, but you ended up distracting her from it by doing all kinds of things. Playing guitar for her, singing to her... loving her." He was so right it was sickening.
"How am I supposed to distract her from something I used to do and still want to do?" He thought for a second.
"Act how I act toward her. Like a brother."
"But less affectionate." He knew what I was talking about.
"Yes." We sat in silence for about a minute before we heard screaming from upstairs. My heart stopped as my eyes went wide. Both Matt and I sprinted to Courtney's room, throwing the door open. She was huddled in the corner, pressing the palms of her hands against her ears. I was frozen, I didn't know what to do.
"Courtney," Matt murmured. She looked at him with a sadistic, scared type look in her eyes. "Courtney, it's me, Matt." She stayed silent. He walked closer to her as slow as he could. "Tell me what's wrong, baby." Her breathing seemed to have picked up for a couple heartbeats, but then returned to normal. He got down on one knee one foot in front of her, staring at her with the most compassionate expression I've ever seen on his face. "Talk to me," he whispered. She swallowed.
"They won't leave me alone," she said, her voice cracking in different spots due to her crying.
"Who's they?"
"The voices," she rushed out. Her words began to tumble over one another. "The voices in my head are telling me it's all his fault, that I should kill him and then kill myself, but then they tell me how much I'll be missed by you and I don't know what to do, I want to so bad-"
"No, you don't, Courtney. You don't want to do that, you don't." Her hands started shaking a little. Matt moved forward the smallest bit and she flinched, gasping. He stayed still and kept his eyes on nothing but her. "Do you want to talk to Brian?" She looked at me, but didn't do or say anything. He slowly motioned for me to sit next to him. I walked over, watching her and kneeled down next to Matt.
"Hey, baby," I said, more high-pitched than usual. I felt like crying. As I looked closer, she had fistfuls of her hair clenched in her fists as if she was about to rip it all out. She tightened her grip. "Courtney, Courtney, calm down," I whispered.
She just stared at us. She was shaking from how hard she was breathing and her shoulders kept moving as her chest expanded from the heavy breaths. I kept thinking she was going to explode.
"Courtney, talk to us," Matt whispered, drawing the S out like a hiss. She shifted her eyes from me to him continuously for a minute. She remained silent. I was her own brother and I didn't know what I could do for her. I felt tears prick my eyes and I bit my whole bottom lip, trying to hold them back. She'd never seen me cry before. I dug my nails into my palm before Matt looked at me. He was shocked.
"Brian..." He really didn't know what to say. They were both just staring at me. Matt stood up and walked out, leaving me with Courtney. I fell back so I was sitting.
"I don't know what to do, baby," I muttered defeatedly. "I know this is all my fault, but I don't know what's wrong with you. I can't help you." I hung my head and rested it against my knee which was pulled against my chest. I kept murmuring into my jeans. "This is just too much..."
"Brian," Courtney squeaked. My head shot up to look at her. She was staring at me with tired eyes, as if she were gonna fall asleep in seconds. She relaxed a little and let go of her legs. I crawled closer to her, and she didn't cringe.
"Courtney," I said, concern filling my tone. "A-are you okay?" She went pale and lost consciousness. My heart started pounding and I yelled for Matt. I checked her pulse, which was strong and constant. Matt ran in, eyes wide.
"What happened," he asked, seeing me not panicking.
"She just passed out." He walked over.
"How's her pulse?" I shrugged.
"Strong." I stood up next to him and looked down at her peacefully sleeping state. I leaned down, slipped my arms behind her back and under her knees and picked up, setting her down on the bed. I put her blanket over her and looked at Matt, who sat down at her desk.
"What do you think happened," he asked. I sat down in the dish chair she had in the corner.
"I have no idea." Matt reached out his hand and pressed it against her forehead. He nodded and withdrew it.
"Fever, feels like it just broke."
"But that doesn't explain why she had a near nervous breakdown." We looked at each other, speechless. We didn't even know exactly what happened.
"Hopefully she'll be able to tell us more once she wakes up." His cell phone started vibrating as if someone were calling him (its vibrate is really loud) so he got up and left the room. I looked at Courtney one more time before closing my eyes and inadvertently falling asleep.
"Courtney," I yelled. "Where are you?!" I couldn't find her anywhere. Last place to check was the bathroom. I knocked once and pushed the door open. I gasped shakily. There was a pool of blood where Courtney was sitting against the sink. Both of her wrists were slit. The blood was still pouring. I ran over to her and checked her pulse. It was almost gone. I pulled my cell out of my pocket and dialed 911 while tying towels around the cuts to get them to stop. When the operator picked up, I lost it.
"This is 911, what is your emergency?"
"M-my sister, sh-she's gonna d-die," I stuttered, shaking and tears already streaming down my face. Her pulse was getting weaker by the second.
"What's your address, sir?"
"610 L-Layton Drive in H-Huntington Beach, Calif-fornia." I tried taking deep breaths. The man was typing.
"An ambulance is on the way," he said. "What happened?"
"S-she slit her wr-wrists." A new wave of terror rocked through me as I said those words.
"How much blood is there?"
"Alot, p-pools." I heard sirens. I checked her pulse again.
Nothing.
"Oh god, her pulse," I cried. Two men with a stretcher came in and I stepped back.
"Are the paramedics there," the operator asked. I totally forgot about him.
"Y-yes."
"All right, go to the hospital, I wish you the best of luck."
"Thank you." I hung up as they got Courtney on the stretcher and were taking her out. I sat in the front with the driver and tried my hardest to keep calm. Blood was covering my hands from trying to stop the flow. We got to the ER in less than five minutes and they ran her in. I went after them, but was stopped and told to wait in the waiting room. I couldn't stop crying, I was so scared I was going to lose her. The longest twenty minutes of my life passed before someone came out for me. His expression was unreadable.
"How is she," I asked in a whisper.
"She lost a lot of blood," he said. "Her heart stopped before the ambulance got to your house. They revived her once..." Oh no. "But we couldn't help her the second time." My heart felt like it literally broke into pieces.
"She's... she's... dead?"
"I'm so sorry." I collapsed into one of the chairs and cried my eyes out.
Everything blurred until I was at her funeral. The air was fresh, it was the beginning of spring. The wind blew, making it comfortable to be in a black suit. I wore a black fedora and sunglasses, mainly so no one would see how shitty I looked. I hadn't spoken a single word since the day Courtney died. All I've said was what happened to Matt, who passed it on to the other guys. They were all here, and they were all crying. Especially Matt. The service was over. Everyone was starting to leave. I stood in one place, staring at the coffin that held my sister. The love of my life.
I would never hold her again. Never hug her, never kiss her. Never tell her how much I loved her and cared for her. She would never know what I'd do for her, what I'd give to have her back. When she took her life, she took mine with it.
I gasped and shot up. Courtney was still asleep on her bed. I took deep breaths to calm my erratic heartbeat. She was okay. She wasn't gone. I sighed.
She was always okay when I woke up from that nightmare. Every time I had it.
I so glad theres sequel!!!!
10/11/16