Scream

His footsteps filled my ears as he walked down the hall. Away from me. Relief filled my body.

I was afraid he would stop in my room, find out why I haven't gotten out of bed yet. He should know why. It's his fault. It's always his fault when I'm sore. He's always too rough, but when I complain about it, he'll sit down next to me or, worse, set me on his lap, and he'd do what he thinks makes it better.

Why did I move in with him? I had a choice who to live with. All this started after Mom and Dad died when I was ten. Four years ago...

At first, he just got really affectionate. He would hold me, keep his arms around me, kiss me on the cheek. Then, one day, I told him I was having "feminine problems". I already knew all about it (who doesn't these days?) so I just told him that I'd need to pick some extra stuff up at the store every now and then. When I told him, I knew something about his reaction was odd. At least his facial expression was odd. It looked like he was holding back a grin. He succeeded, but I could just barely tell he was.

The actual raping started only a few months ago.

Don't get me wrong, I always thought my brother was attractive, but he's mybrother. It's just... ugh, it makes me sick to the stomach.

He made me go on birth control because he didn't want to use condoms. He said it didn't feel the same with one. As if I would care what him raping me would feel like...

"Courtney," he murmured, looking in the room. I stayed completely still and kept my eyes shut. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, resting his hand on the blanket where my waist was. "Court, baby girl, it's past ten. I know you're up, you need to get out of bed." I kept my silence and stillness. He sighed and slowly slipped his hand under the quilt. I felt his hand gently lift up my shirt and drift underneath it. I jolted up into a sitting position. He smiled and moved his thumb in a soothing circular motion against my skin. "I knew that would get you up."

"What do you want," I asked quietly, feeling my lower abdomen throb.

"I wanna see your beautiful face," he told me, inching closer as he said it. I looked down and cringed away. "Oh, come on, Courtney, are you still mad about last night?"

"Of course I'm still mad, Brian," I muttered. "I'm hurting like hell and you want me to get out of bed."

"I'm sorry, babe, what can I do to make you feel better?" His hand moved down to my thigh as he spoke.

"Just leave me alone." I put my hand on his and tried moving it away. He rolled his eyes and pulled it out from under the sheets.

"Get out of bed, at least. I don't care if you lay on the couch and watch TV all day, I just wanna be around you. If you're not in the living room in five minutes, I'll come back in here and carry you out." My muscles tensed and my heart pounded. He knew I hated when he did that. I've always hated people picking me up, but I especially hated when he did it. He walked out, so I swung my legs over the bed and stood up. The throbbing increased, but I ignored it and made my way to the living room. Brian was in the kitchen making something so I just sat down on the couch and started flipping through TV channels.

"The guys are coming over today, so make sure you don't say anything about last night, all right?" I nodded and stared at the TV. Avoiding his eyes was always the best thing to do. I felt him watching me, but I still didn't say anything. It was better that way. Until he decided to speak first. "Why are you always acting like this around me?" He never asked me that before, it caught me off guard. I looked at him confusedly.

"What are you talking about," I asked quietly. He turns his back to what he was doing and leans against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. The same muscled arms that have left me with so many scars and nightmares...

"That," he pointed out. "Whenever you actually choose to look in my direction, you stare at something like my arms with this pained look in your eyes." I tore my gaze away and looked back at the TV.

"No I don't," I muttered.

"Yes you do." He walked over and sat on the coffee table directly infront of me so my sight was blocked. I instinctively moved away from him and looked down. "Stop and look at me, Courtney," he said almost in a growl. I looked at him, hoping my fear wasn't written plain across my face. He took a deep breath and sat on the couch right next to me, but he turned his body so he was facing me at the same time. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No, no I'm not, it's not that," I babbled, darting my eyes everywhere nervously.

"Then what is it," he whispered softly. I didn't say anything, not able to think of a good excuse. He slowly shook his head. "You know not to lie to me, Courtney. Now answer honestly. Are you scared of me?" He took my silence as a yes. "Why? What have I done to earn nothing but your fear?"

"You know what you did, Brian," I say quietly, still avoiding his stare. "Don't act like you have no idea."

"I'm not acting, Courtney, I have no idea why the fuck you insist on acting like this every time I come anywhere near you-" Brian was cut off by the doorbell ringing. He kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds before getting up and walking to the door. I instantly relaxed as Matt walked in and smiled at me.

"Hey, Courtney," he said. I smiled back.

"Hi, Matt." Jimmy ran past everyone and practically attacked me as he jumped on the couch and started tickling me. "Hi, Jimmy," I giggled.

"Hey, kid, you look like you just got up," Zack said as Jimmy relaxed on the couch next to me.

"Maybe 'cause she did," Brian said, trying his hardest to calm down from our conversation.

"Oh, why," Johnny asked, glancing from Brian to me and back to Brian again.

"She doesn't feel well," Brian explained.

"I don't feel well," I said.

"See? She doesn't feel well." Matt chuckles and shakes his head.

"It's so obvious that you two are related." I felt Brian look at me, but I turned my attention back to the TV and started flipping through the channels again. All the guys sat at the dining table and started talking about random stuff. I took the blanket off the back of the couch and covered myself with it while lying down. I sighed, closing my eyes.

***

"Court, baby, wake up," Brian whispered, touching my shoulder. I jumped and looked at him with wide eyes.

"What do you want, Brian," I muttered, rubbing my eyes.

"You slept the whole day, it's 9 o' clock." I looked at the clock, and saw that he was right. I bit my lip and didn't move, so he slipped his arms underneath me and picked me up with ease.

"Put me down, put me down, put me down," I rushed out, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Calm down, I'm just taking you to bed. Don't worry." I tried to relax and rested my head against his chest. He always smelled so good, and his muscles... stop, Courtney! He is your brother! He walked past my room and into his room.

"Brian..." I said as he set me down. He walked over to the door and locked it after shutting it. Oh no...

"I figured you'd be up for a little while since you slept all day," he said smoothly as he sauntered over. I crawled to the other side of the king sized bed, but he grabbed me before I could get away.

"No, Brian, please don't," I begged, feeling tears brim my eyes. My fear quickly escalated to a near unbearable level. He straddled my hips and held my hands above my head, leaning down so his face was only inches from mine.

"Why shouldn't I," he said huskily. It was too late. I felt his member against my pelvis. He wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. Brian's gone. I woke animal feelings in him. He lost control.

"Just please," I murmured, not able to bring my voice any higher. He closed the distance and touched his lips to mine softly. I couldn't deny that Brian was an amazing kisser, but this was when I would feel myself giving in. Of course, the whole time, I would fight it, but I loved the pleasure he gave me. I would never tell him that.

"Relax while you're closing your eyes to me," he growled. "Pleasure's all mine this time."

I couldn't help but return the kiss and close my eyes, so he deepened it and slipped his tongue into my mouth. He moved his hands so one hand was holding my wrists down and the other was trailing down my body to the top of my sweats and panties. He started pushing them down, so I bent my legs to get them off easier. I kicked them off the bed and he removed both of his hands to get his shirt off. As soon as he tossed it to the floor, I unbuttoned his jeans and he pulled them down. He pushed them to the floor and practically tore my tanktop off along with unclasping my bra. He ripped my panties off and threw them somewhere in the room and skillfully moved his hand to my opening.

"You are so beautiful, baby," he said, sounding out of breath. He was stalling, teasing me. He couldn't hold out much longer, I knew that. I tangled my hand in his hair and crushed my lips against his, pulling him closer to me. He gave in and shoved three fingers into me. I gasped painfully and clenched my eyes shut. I felt him smirk as he kissed my neck and made a trail all the way down to my chest as he pounded his fingers inside of me. He pulled them out and took his boxers off, returning his lips to mine. He broke away as he glanced down and harshly thrusted into me. I gasped again and bit my lip, arching my back. He pulled out and pushed in again, making a muted "ow" escape my lips.

"You know I make you wanna scream," he murmured into my ear. My nails dug into his back as he forced himself into me again.

"No," I moaned. He went faster and I could feel my walls tighten around him. I was close.

"What's my name, baby," he whispered. He was closer. We both reached our climax.

"Fuck, Brian," I screamed. He came and collapsed onto the bed next to me. He tried catching his breath as I did the same and he looked at me.

"Courtney," he breathed.

"What," I said, returning his adoring stare. He didn't say anything. I rolled my eyes. I leaned over the side of the bed and picked up my tanktop, pulling it on. I grabbed my panties and sweats from the floor and easily got them back on under the blanket. I stood up and walked to the door.

"Wait," Brian said. The tone of his voice was different. It sounded... desperate. I turned back to him. He looked around and picked something up off the floor. He threw it to me and I caught it, realizing it was my bra.

"Do you have any idea how wrong this is," I said quietly, staring down.

"Define 'this'," he murmured. I walked back over and sat on the bed, dropping the bra back onto the ground. The bed moved and I knew he was getting his boxers back on. He crawled across the bed and sat behind me, sliding his arms around my waist. He pulled me back and rested his chin on my shoulder. "You mean our version of a relationship?" I nodded. He sighed and I relaxed against his chest. That was a shocker. "I know it's wrong, Courtney. I know it every time you give me that pained look."

"Then why do we keep doing this? If we both know it's wrong-"

"Why does it feel so right," he finished for me. I looked up at him.

"Tomorrow I'm gonna hate you," I whispered, "because I'm gonna be in so much pain."

"But, right now, doesn't it seem worth it? To sit here with me like this? If you're faking liking this, you're a really good actress." I smile and rest my head against his chest again with my eyes closed.

"Yeah. Right now it's worth it." My small grin fades. "It won't be tomorrow." He tightens his grip a little.

"You love the pleasure I give you, Courtney." I don't say anything, so he continues. "There was no struggling this time. You gave in so easily..." He feels me tense up, so he sighs. "Let's just live in the present and not worry about the future." Neither of us said anything for a few minutes until I felt my eyes get heavy.

"I need to go to bed, Brian," I said. He reluctantly let go of me so I got up and went to the door. Just as I reached for the doorknob, Brian spoke.

"Courtney," he asked. I looked back at him. "Could you... stay... in my room tonight?" He never asked me to stay here. Every time I would walk out, he had nothing to say. I hesitated, thinking about it.

After everything we just said, I knew he was being honest. And I also knew I wanted to. How could I say no?

I walked back over and he smiled. Not one of those dirty smirks he gave me. It was a real, genuine smile. He pulled the covers back, and I got under them at the same time as him. He comfortably wrapped his arms tight around my waist and pulled me closer so my back was right against his chest. I closed my eyes as he kissed my shoulder.

"I love you, Courtney," he whispered against my skin. My heart jumped, but not in a bad way. I smiled slightly and sighed.

"I love you, too, Brian."

Notes

Originally posted on Mibba under the same name. I'm up to Chapter 26 on there, so I'll probably be posting a new chapter every day on this site. I'm hoping to have chapter 27 posted soon.

- Katelyn