Valary yawned as the alarm blared in her ear. She slowly opened her eyes to be greeted with dazzling sunlight courtesy of the Texan skies. She rolled over to the love of her life, "Matt, honey, its morning, we've got a big day on today." The man Matt, known the world over as M. Shadows, lead vocalist of Avenged Sevenfold, stirred and grumbled... "shit babe, what's the fuckin' time?" "8:00 am, we've got a couple hours to get ready for the meet & greet", Val whispered. Matt shook himself awake with little effort and grabbed his wallet. "I'll have what you're having" Val said, knowing full well that Matt was on his way to Starbucks, smiling at the thought of her husband being a caffeine monster. "Okay babe, I'll be back in 10... ring everyone else and find out what they want, we'll all meet in the courtyard" Matt shouted over his shoulder. Val immediately rang around, getting very sleepy responses. She took note of what everyone wanted and fast-texted the info to Matt.

8:15 am saw the guys of Avenged Sevenfold and their partners basking in the courtyard of an old Texan ranch where they had been recording their follow up to Hail to the King. That album cemented their reputation as one of history's greatest ever heavy metal bands, so they had a lot to live up to. Despite the fame and fortune, no-one had let it all get to their head, a prime example being preferring to record in an old ranch within a stone's throw from a large township, where the guys and their partners were practically unknown. The townsfolk were very friendly, often greeting them with a smile every time they ran into each other. A couple of nights ago, the guys played a free concert, turning the townspeople onto their music... and shouted the whole town free alcohol.

"Ugh, its way too fucking early for this shit!" grumbled Johnny Christ, the bass player. "Awwww did itty bitty wittle Johnniekins lose his beauty sleep?" teased Zacky Vengeance, the rhythm guitarist, playfully roughing Johnny up. "Fuck off Zacky!" Johnny growled, punching and kicking the bigger man. "Settle down girls, you'll wake the bodies in the desert up" grinned Synyster gates, the lead guitarist, "and those desert zombies just love little people like youse two. They eat fat people for mains and will save you two for dessert!" "alright guys down to business!" Valary shouted. Everyone turned their attention to Valary. "We leave for Slim's record store in 15 minutes, the signing's at 9:00am sharp! Get yourselves ready, I have to lock down all of our items in case some drifter decides to raid us"
Everyone drained their coffee and set off grabbing last-minute items. Val began securing everything for when they got back. She heard a noise behind her. She turned... the last thing she saw was a big redneck swinging a jawbreaker at her head.

Notes

This is entirely alternate universe, purely fiction.