The next time he hit the road, everything was different. He didn't have to be careful; he didn't need an ounce of self-control. He was a single man now, for the first time in a long time.

He'd forgotten how great it felt. Sure, he missed Val, but he didn't regret the decision they had made. Everything felt better now.

No more long weeks of built up sexual frustration. No more relying on porn and his right hand to satisfy himself; he was free to do whatever – and whomever – he wanted. Night after night, city after city, girl after girl... He rarely remembered their names. He didn't need to. He knew he'd probably never see them again.

Sometimes he felt like an asshole. He was basically just using these girls to get a quick little thrill. The guilt always subsided when he remembered that the girls all just wanted the same thing he did. They weren't looking for anything other than a quick fuck, either. They just wanted to be able to say that they'd had sex with M. Shadows. If he could make some slutty girl's dream come true by taking them back to the bus for a little one-on-one fun, he was all for it.

But everything changed when they hit New York.

The light hand on his shoulder had made him turn his head from his position at the bar. The smile he got back from the woman who must have been almost a foot shorter than him made him turn around fully to face her.

"Hi, Matt..." She wasn't nervous as she spoke to him, like a lot of women seemed to be at first. "I'm Brenna." She offered him her hand to shake, which he did.

She reminded him of Val. The way she carried herself; such confidence despite her petite frame. The way her smile got wider as that confidence grew. The way she looked at him after she'd introduced herself; the way her eyes seemed to stare deep into his soul... It was the exact same way his ex-wife had looked at him. A mischievous, lustful gaze that held a slight twinkle; it told him nothing and everything at the same time. As soon as he saw her, he knew she was the one he'd be taking for the night.

They got the obligatory small talk out of the way; she congratulated him on a great show, he thanked her and offered to buy her a drink. She politely declined, a cheeky grin on her face as she lifted her arms and looped them around his neck. "I don't want a drink, Matt," she purred into his ear, "I want you."

His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as a small smirk slid over his lips. Even the way she spoke reminded him of Val; the way her words lingered, giving them a false sense of innocence.

Slowly, he pulled her arms from where they were wrapped around his neck and took her left hand in his right, their fingers lacing together as he led her out of the bar. There'd be plenty of chances for after-show parties and while his bandmates were busy getting drunk, he preferred to take what was offered to him and get busy back on the bus.

As keen as they both were, he didn't just take her back and fuck her senseless like he did the rest. He actually wanted to get to know her a little bit. They shared a few drinks, talked a little bit about the show... He had plenty of time, and he knew it. The rest of the guys would be partying until the club closed; he had hours to kill.

Every little thing about her reminded him of the love he'd lost. She'd lick her lips seductively when propositioning him, chewing on the bottom one as she gazed up at him from beneath her long lashes. Whenever she giggled, she'd lower her head and look at the ground. It was adorable, yet sexy. Just like Val.

He knew it was dangerous when every time he looked at her he was reminded of his childhood sweetheart, but it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt a bit. It actually made him smile inside. As long as he didn't scream Val's name when he came, it'd be fine.

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She had a cute little Deathbat tattooed on her lower back, which had proved to be quite the turn on while he was plowing her from behind. There was nothing overly romantic about this first encounter beyond the conversation they'd had beforehand. It was what they had both wanted – sex – but there was so much more running through the singer's mind.

He wanted to see her again. He'd known from the first moment they'd locked eyes that she was different. It was too convenient; she was like the East Coast's version of his dream girl – the woman he'd spent so much of his life with. He couldn't just say goodbye and let her disappear into the night, never to see her again.

He didn't even want to let her to go at all. He'd thought about asking her to stay and travel with them, but he knew it was stupid. He'd only just met the girl, and he didn't know enough about her to know what she'd have to give up to go with them. Chances were she'd probably laugh in his face anyway.

The irony was surreal. So many times he'd wondered how the girls felt after they'd left; how much sleeping with him had meant to them and how much they'd give to have more than just one night, but now everything was backwards. This time Matt was the one longing for more. Mister Rockstar, wanting more than what had been silently agreed upon, for once. She just wanted to fuck one of her idols... She didn't want to give up whatever life she had and run away with him.

But he could hope.

He'd taken her number. It was nothing unusual; he did that with a lot of the girls. Some he kept; the memorable ones that had given him something special - with a little reminder after their name in his phone of where they were from - just in case they happened to roll through town again... but most of them were just screwed up and tossed in the trash. Brenna's was one that he would definitely be keeping.

"I'll call you," he told her with his lips curled into a small smile as he folded the small piece of paper and tucked it into the back pocket of his jeans once he'd pulled them back on.

She chuckled lightly in response and nodded her head slowly. "Yeah... I bet you will." She subtly rolled her eyes as she pulled on her boot. She'd heard it before, countless times. This wasn't her first rodeo. She knew the deal; it was just a courtesy; they all said it. At least, it always had been before. Little did she know that Matt actually intended on keeping to his word.