We reached the hotel we were all staying at and Zacky and I didn't really say much on the way back. I wasn't sure what to think right now or anything because of the guy on Facebook.
He said I looked beautiful, which was really nice but the pill I had taken, I could tell that it was wearing out. By that I mean that whatever someone tells me it was going to turn negative and I was going to grow depressed. That and I will start seeing things which was scary. I hated it, it feels like I am walking through a nightmare.
Zacky and I walked inside the hotel and he looked out of it. He wasn't saying much and he was looking down to ground looking sad. I touched his arm lightly and he jolted and looked at me.
"You alright?" I asked lightly. He smiled and nodded to me and I smiled back. Zacky did have a beautiful smile. I shook my head from the thoughts. I can't like Zacky or like anything about him. He was my uncle, kind of, besides my dad would have a freaking heart attack. I couldn't do that. It would kill him to let him know that his son was gay!
I sighed and looked down to the ground and walked to the elevator with him. I don't know why but I felt good beside him, his presence was welcoming. I glanced over to him, his piercing green eyes looking straight ahead and his tattooed arms coming out of his t-shirt.
I shook my head and looked away. I can’t think this way about him, especially him. Besides he was a rockstar and he wouldn’t go for anyone like me, not at all. I know that my parents were one but I was a seventeen year old guy who didn’t know what he wanted to do after high school and was picked on everyday by someone and not only that but I had an illness that would make a relationship a living hell. I don’t know how my dad dealt with that.
We came up to the floor and Zacky and I splited to go our separate ways. I went to open the door and happened to glance over to him and saw him looking over to me with a smile on his face. But when he saw me, he quickly looked away causing me to sigh. Making me think that he was looking at someone else. I came inside and saw my brother, sister, mom and dad all hunched over a pizza. I wasn’t hungry though, after what happened at the store I couldn’t find myself to eat, just more curious then ever about this guy on Facebook.
“Want some Wes?” My father asked with his mouth full of food, yeah he does that a lot. I shook my head and grabbed a water from the mini fridge and sat down on the bed by myself thinking things through. I am always thinking, something I do a lot and I didn’t mind.
When they were finished, my brother came and sat down next to me, his hands fiddling in his lap while he moved his bangs from his face. He looked to me, then back down to his lap. I owed him an apology. What I did was wrong and I hurt my baby brother.
“How are you doing?” I asked him. He looked over to me and shrugged.
“Good I guess,” He said in a small voice, “Hurt a little,” He said. This caused my heart to break. Sam and I weren’t being such good siblings to him if we kept trying to pretty much murder him. He could scare easily and he had a heart problem, did we want him to die?
“I’m sorry Alex,” I finally said. I looked over to him and saw his blue eyes looking at me as he moved his bangs out of the way, “I’m so sorry Alex,” I said lightly, pulling him into a hug. He hugged me tight and I felt arms wrap around the both of us and I knew that it was Sam. She kissed his cheek and said that she was also sorry. We held each other for a while and when we pulled away, we saw our parents staring at us.
“Aw!” My mother cried, “You guys are too cute!” We laughed and came and attacked them, being the crazy family we usually were.
The next morning we woke up and got our things packed for the ride home. Alex, Sam and I went and caused havoc down in the lobby when we were eating breakfast with our uncles. I saw Zacky and smiled and waved at him feeling my heart pound in my chest. I never really saw him smile before but seeing him smile now made me feel important, like I could do something right for once in my life.
I got some waffles and sat down with my brother and sister near the window by uncle Brian and Zacky who were talking about some guitars and how they needed to improve their guitar sounds.
“I think your amps are worn out,” I said not looking up from my plate, God knows what would happen if I looked up to meet Zacky’s beautiful eyes. I sighed, I can’t believe I am thinking of him like this.
“You think so?” Uncle Brian asked me. I nodded, playing with my piece of waffle that was stabbed onto my fork.
“I mean,” I looked up, totally ignoring Zacky who was sitting right next to Brian. I could feel his eyes on me and it actually made me feel a little uncomfortable.
“You guys have had them what for like ten years? I think it’s about time for some new and improved ones,” I said lightly with a shrug. I took a bit of my waffle and never looked back up. I didn’t know what to think right now, all I knew was that this was getting to be ridicules. He was my father’s best friend, mind you, and here I am thinking he’s cute and crap. I didn’t even know if I was gay or not! Just because the kids at school said I was.
My dad was right, I do need a girlfriend.
Sighing, I got up from the table and threw away the rest of my plate, suddenly not hungry, more in the lines of that I needed a cigarette bad to calm down these weird emotions running through me. I came outside of the hotel and walked around the sidewalks looking for a none dry cigarette. There was no way I could steal from my uncles today, besides the fresh air was doing me good.

“Doing ok?” I heard someone ask behind me. I turned and saw my twin smiling at me as she came beside me and linked arms with me. I nodded, smiling a little and looking on the ground for a good cigarette butt. She helped me too, knowing that it some what helped me.
She came down and picked one up, showing me it and I nodded, grabbing my liter from my pocket smoking the rest of it, “I’m fine sis just…thinking,” I said lightly looking down to the ground.
“Is it the voices?” She asked me lightly. I looked up and shook my head.
“No, I took my meds today, they haven’t been saying much,” I said. I felt so crazy when I told anyone this but I felt normal around my sister. She nodded as we walked back towards the hotel. My mind felt clearer now that I had my nicotine for the day. I knew that it wouldn’t help with the Schkitz, but I could care less right now.
“What is it? You know you can tell me,” She said tucking her blond hair behind her ear. I knew that I could tell her but she can’t know that I am gay! Or, at least I think I was. Nevertheless she couldn’t figure out that I was probably crushing on Zacky or that guy on Facebook telling that I looked beautiful, which I still think he got the wrong guy.
“I…” I looked over to her then back down to the concrete. I have to lie, that’s the only way that I could. I couldn’t tell anyone this, no one at all. So I told her the biggest lie that I have ever said on the face of this planet knowing that I was going to hate myself for doing this, “I have a girlfriend,”
She looked at me in shock, oh the agony I am going to be in when they all figured out this lie that I was telling them. She looked down to the ground, thinking things through. I hate lying to my twin, even though I knew she was going to figure it out some how, she wasn’t dumb. She was smarter then anyone and of course being a twin, we had that weird connection.
“You do?” She asked looking up to me. I bit my lower lip and smiled.
“Yeah I do,” I said happily. Oh I was digging a bigger hole for myself. Now I was going to have to make her up which was going to be a huge problem too. Maybe I could use my friend from school, we were close, it was believable. Oh she was going to hate me.
“Yeah you know Brook from school?” I asked Sam. She looked at me with a risen eyebrow. Brook wasn’t really the normal kind of girl. She wasn’t skinny like most girls. She was big boned, a tomboy and somewhat had a deep voice. To me she was beautiful and she was a really caring person and we had a lot in common too.
She nodded and crossed her arms, this meant, ‘ha ha yeah right’. Don’t get me wrong me and my sister try very hard not to be judgmental but she was kind of towards Brook. So now that I said something, I needed to convince her tomorrow to pretend to be my girlfriend, this wasn’t going to go good at all.
“Well, when are you going to tell dad?” She asked me. My face flushed, I didn’t know if I should tell dad or not. I can’t back out know though, that would…no I can’t back out. I let out a breath and rubbed the back of my neck.
“ I don’t know yet, we just started to date a while back,” And yet another lie. Oh I was going to go to hell for this! I can’t let them know I am ‘gay’ though, I needed to convince myself I wasn’t and not think of my uncle like I was, him being cute and all. This is what I needed, I needed to have this but I didn’t need to do it
“Well, good for you Wes,” she said with a smile on her face. I knew her all to well though, she was disappointed in me. She wasn’t liking me lying to her. She walked passed me and walked into the hotel leaving me to wonder what in the world I had just done.
Before we left the hotel, I snuck down to the lobby to use the computer so that I could check my Facebook while my parents were getting their things pack and my sister and brother went swimming. I told them I needed to go to the bathroom, yet another lie. If I keep this up I was going to be the master liar, which wasn’t good, at all.
I logged onto my Facebook and quickly went to go and find Brook, also seeing that I had a message. I really didn’t want to talk to that guy for the fact I didn’t know what to say. I found Brook and told her what I told my sister. School was going to be interesting since Brook and I were now pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. I wouldn’t mind though, I thought it would be fun.
I then checked the Facebook message and it asked: Want to hang out?
Me: Um…sure…
Him: Great! Meet me at the Park outside of Orange County at 9 Friday night.
Me: How would I know its you?
Him: You’ll know ;) I sighed and agreed to meet him again. I logged off and was going to go to the pool with my brother and sister and I couldn’t help but smile. Whoever this was, I was going to meet him and I couldn’t wait till Friday night.
Just as long as this week goes by good.