' Back to my ordinary and simple life ... '

I woke up with the sound of my alarm clock and something was telling me that it was already 7AM, which means I'd have to gain some strengths to walk back into my real, exhausting and depressing life. The weekend was great, i had some time to relax, but at the same time was very stressful. I pushed myself up, sitting on the bed and turned off the alarm before it woke up Kim. Rubbing the sleep and the tiredness from my eyes, I yawned looking straight to the chair in front of my bed and immediately my brain pictured Mr. Sanders there sitting like he was last night, starring at me with his hazel and captivating eyes. Captivating me and making me weaker than I already am. Making me forget everything around me and just concentrating on him. Only on him. On his smile, the way he looked at me, controlling every move I make just with his gaze. The way he spells my name with his deep voice that makes me shiver. Why was he helping me? Why was he losing his precious time with a weak woman, that always hides herself from her fears. That always lets the beast get the best of her. Why he instead of one person I knew as my other half? Sighing I looked to the other side of my bed, where the most important person in my life uses to sleep. Caressing his pillow, I thought about of the many mornings i used to wake up like this. Alone. Without him by my side. And the nights i used to fell asleep without him. A wave of pain hit me so violently, I started to silently cry thinking that one day, Jason would leave. That he would get out of my life in a split second. I wasn't ready for that now. I wasn't ready emotionally, mentally and physically. He was my cling to live. He meant so much to me, that being without him, wake up and go to bed without him was hurting. But, sometimes I thought that I was invisible to him. We could be in the same room, sitting next to each other, and he was on his own world and i was on mine. God, i was dying each day, and he wasn't noticing. But I love him. I came back to reality when I heard my cell phone ringing. I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand and picked up my phone from the nightstand. It was Jason.

- Jason. - I said. His name came out more like a sob than a greet.

- Hey baby. How's everything? - Hearing his voice after a long time made my heart race like the first time we spoke to each other.

- E-everything's fine. How was the wedding? -

- It was beautiful. My father was very happy, and Kelly was too. I've got pictures of my phone, I can send them to your email. -

- Yeah. - I heard him sighing. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

- Babe, I'm so sorry for not being home today. I told my father that I'd only be here until yesterday, but he insisted that I'd stay until next friday. I'm so sorry baby. -

- I-it's okay. I understand, your father misses you. -

- So you're not mad? - Am i ? Of course I am! He didn't told me in advance he'd stay in L.A. for a week. He was supposed to come home yesterday.

I sighed - No, I'm not. Please come back soon. I miss you. -

- I miss you too babe. Hey, I've got to go, my father's calling me. Love you Lex. -

- I --- - He hung up before I got the time to tell him I loved him too. I could feel that something was wrong with him. Maybe he was just tired from the wedding. I fought to think that the main reason was that, but my mind was driving me to another reason. A reason that I knew Jason would fit in perfectly. I knew him too well. Before we met, he was known as 'The womanizer'. Once we started seeing each other and later, when he asked me to be his girlfriend, Kim always told me that he wasn't the right guy for me, that what he wanted was to take advantage of me and my body, but I never listen to her. I was in love. I am in love with him. And once you're in love, you'll do everything beyond your abilities just to not let your relationship fall apart. But my relationship with Jason was already falling. It was like we were in a routine. We'd get out of the University, we'd go home, we'd order something out sometimes, we'd eat and then he'd get ready to go out with his friends while I'd stay home with Kim. It was like that. My simple and ordinary life with and without my boyfriend. If you'd ask me if he loves me... Well, sometimes I feel he does, sometimes i feel he doesn't. But he cares about me, and I'm not going to brake up with him just because he doesn't wake by my side or doesn't fall asleep with me. He was one of the many people who I got along with once i entered in the university, and right now I'm not ready to put an end on my relationship with him. I'm not ready to put an end on a three years relationship. My phone started to ring again, snapping me again from my thoughts. But this time was a text message from Mr. Sanders. - Good Morning Miss Scali. I hope you have a lovely day and don't forget to take your medicines. Mr. S. - I smiled reading it. He didn't know me and yet here he was worrying about me. I replied,- Good Morning Mr. Sanders, i wish you the same, and i promise i won't forget. Miss S. - I smiled once i realized that our signatures matched. I got out of the bed and walked to my bathroom. I stripped from my bed clothes and hooped on the shower wishing that the warm water could wash away all my problems, but after I was finished, I still got that awful feeling that nothing I did was right. That no matter how hard i tried, I'd always fall back again. Wrapping a towel around my slim body, I walked back into my room. I dressed my underwear, a pair of black ripped jeans and a white tank top. I went back to the bathroom to dry out my hair with a towel and pulled it up on a pony tail, being too lazy to do anything else with it.

- Guess who called me last nigh before i went to bed? - Kim said while she was looking through some clothes to buy. After all our classes were finished we decided to hit the mall to buy some new clothes. I was pretty sure i wouldn't buy anything but i came with her anyways.

- Who was it? - I asked following behind her. Turning her face to look at me, she smiled.

- Brian. - Oh.

- The guy that works with Mr Sanders? - surprised i asked.

- Yeah, that one. He said he wanted to be with me again. - She said grabbing a white dress and went to try it out while i stayed outside. Kim is the most outgoing and i-don't-give-a-fuck person i've ever met. If you went out with her, just for one night, She got you drunk first, then she'd drink with you and then she'd look for a target to maybe spend the night with. She's a one night stand girl. As she used to say, 'just fuck'em and leave'em' . One night she tried to hook me up with a not too bad guy, but i refused. Why? Well, because of my insecurity. And it turned out that she ended up hooking up with him, and i went home. All because of my insecurity.

- So, how do I look? Do you think he'll gonna like it? - Standing in front of me, she was dressed in a white middle - thigh dress. It was a simple white dress, not her type at all, but i guess she wanted to impress Brian.

- I think he's gonna love it. - Actually she looked extremely sexy and i think that when Brian sees her, he'll have an hard time to concentrate on his own thoughts. But that's how Kim is, she likes to cause some good impressions on the guys she goes out with. She ended up buying some new shoes along with the dress, and she even encouraged me to buy some new dresses for some special occasion but i declined, saying that it wasn't the right time to buy new clothes. When we got home i went to take a shower and Kim when to order something from the Chinese Restaurant down the street.

--

- I really don't get this. The guy who supposed to be in jail is helping the FBI on this case. It's not acceptable. - Kim said while we were watching a new episode of 'White Collar' and eating our dinner, sitting on the floor in front of the tv.

- Kim this is just a fictional story. It's not like some dude runs out of jail and gets into the FBI and promises to help them in exchange of his freedom. I mean, c'mon who on earth would do that? - I said finishing eating my fried chicken with rice.

- Well... I don't know. Writers nowadays write some crazy stories that, in fact, end up on tv as a well known series in the US and perhaps outside the US. -

- Well that shows how much that stories are good. - I said standing up and grabbing our plates to take them to the kitchen. Leaning on the kitchen counter I took sometime to think about what happened this morning. How am i going to be one week without Jason? Of course I'm mad at him, really really mad, but love is way more than that, and i really miss him. At least he called to say what I already knew from Kim once again. It's not the first time he does this type of things.

- You received a message on your phone. - I heard Kim's voice as she was entering the kitchen. I frowned thinking who would it might be. i doubt it's Jason. Perhaps it's my mother.

- Thanks. - I said while she gave me the phone. I unlocked it and saw Mr. Sanders name. My heart raced to the speed of light and my breath was uneven. Why just by seeing his name i feel this way?Because you feel attracted to him. No way. That's not even possible.

- Um..Is everything okay Alex? -

- What? Oh, yeah, yes it is. I just got some... Some text from an old friend of mine. He... He want's to grab a coffee to catch up on the good news. - Why are you lying to Kim? You didn't even read the message.

She frowned. - Okay. Oh don't forget to take your medicines. i have to go to bed. -

- Okay. G'night. -

- G'night. - I said and waited until she was out of the kitchen to read the message.

' Good evening Miss Scali. I know it's not very appropriate to send you a message this late but today was a busy day for me and I only got some free time now to see how have you been. I would like to have lunch with you tomorrow at 12 if that's possible. Reply as soon as you can, Mr. S '

I guess what i told Kim isn't entirely a lie. But in this case, it's not an old friend. It's Mr Sanders. I replied,' Good evening Mr Sanders. I must inform you that you caught me right before I went to bed. I've been well, thank you for asking and taking some of your free time to text me. What about you Sir? Tomorrow at 12 sounds perfect. Ms S. '

I turned off the lights and went to my bedroom. Got dressed on my pijamas and went to wash my teeth and to take the medicines. Once i was back on my room, i already got a text from Mr Sanders.' Right on time Miss Scali. My day was very stressful, full of meetings, but I'm finally home. 12 O'clock at the Kristy Restaurant near your university. Don't be late. Mr.S '

' I promise I wont. Ms. S'