Friends and Alibis

After the second day of supposedly being mad at my friends guilt finally settled in. I had been unfair. I was the one to stumble into their lives, not the other way ‘round. I knew I would meet them again. They didn’t. Especially Zack.

My guilt was also eating away at me because of what Zack had said to me. I was the one to turn everything upside down, it was true. It wasn’t my fault that he had kissed me, I didn’t initiate it. But I was playing the major part in everyone’s confusion and Zack’s chaos-engagement.

I didn’t help either that I had the day off. It just gave me more time to think about all the mistakes I had made. And it gave me time to think about what I would say to Zack when I would finally call him and ask him to meet up with him.

But even though my bad conscience was driving me towards meeting up with him and actually talking about the important things, it didn’t prevent the nervousness and tension that bubbled up inside of me.

After battling with myself for another few minutes I finally grabbed my phone and dialled, hoping that he would pick up fast so I didn’t have a chance to back out.

He didn’t give me that chance. He didn’t even pick up. And I was pretty sure that he wasn’t picking up on purpose. So I dialled again. And Again. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

After the fifth time of me calling him (and him not picking up) I decided to leave him a voicemail.

“I know you’re ignoring me, and you have every right to… no wait. Don’t take that seriously, I want and need to talk to you. And I know those calls come off as desperate but since you’re being a dick to, might I say, the friend you’ve known longer than any of your other friends, I might as well annoy the hell out of you. So if you don’t pick up or call me back I’m forced to be even more annoying and you surely don’t want that.”

I also thought about saying “Amelia surely won’t be pleased to see 50 missed calls from me” but I didn’t want to be an ass and stir up more anger and hurt. So I left it at that and after a short pause I added, “You should know me well enough that these are not empty threats. Choose wisely.” and hung up.

I gave him approximately 5 minutes before I would call him again. But there was no need to. Not even 3 minutes later my phone was ringing and Zack’s name was flashing across my screen.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Zacky Baker. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t take me as long to get through to the president as it took to get to you.” I joked but he stayed silent, the only thing on his end of the line was his silent breathing. I decided to drop my act and sighed.

“Listen, can we meet up? I want to talk to you about everything, in peace without any disruptions.” I spoke silently and waited for him to answer.

I heard him sigh eventually. “Café at the park. 2 hours.” Then he hung up.

**

I was rummaging through my closet by the time 6pm rolled around and I still hadn’t settled on something to wear. I was close to just going in my sweats and a t-shirt when my eyes fell upon a bag stashed away in the back of my closet. And my eyes went wide.

I shouldn’t, I told myself. But I was too curious as to what would happen if I wore it. I bit my lip and looked back and forth between the bag and the rest of my closet. In the end, it was the last thing that could make me look somewhat presentable. I had to admit, I was too lazy to do the laundry.

I grabbed the bag and yanked the dress out of it and put it on as fast as it would allow me. I had to admit, the boys had done a good job at picking out dresses. I almost looked like Amelia. Thank god only almost. It showed cleavage, but not enough to make it slutty. It was short but still not short enough to give everyone a glimpse of my behind. I hated to admit that I actually, kind of, liked it.

Before I would be any later than I already was, I almost sprinted out of my apartment and drove to the Café as fast as traffic would allow it.

When I arrived, Zack was already sitting at a table with a cup of coffee and his face scrunched together in thought.

I approached him slowly and nervously but as soon as I entered the café his eyes were on mine and the tension grew heavier.

“What the hell are you even doing,” I questioned myself and forced a smile onto my face. To be honest, I didn’t even know what I should say to him.

While my facial expression probably gave everything away about how I was feeling, Zack’s didn’t. He just stared at me without expressing anything.

I went to the second chair and tried to sit down without ripping any seam of the dress. Although I was pretty sure he saw me struggling to make it seem somewhat effortless, his eyes didn’t leave my face.

When I finally sat comfortably, at least to some extent, I realized that I was at a loss for words and Zack didn’t seem like he wanted to get something off of his chest. But I couldn’t just order him to meet up with me and then let him sit in silence.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. I had to get it off my chest sooner or later either way.

“For what”? came his response. I knew what he was doing.

“For a lot of things.” I sighed. “I’m sorry that my parents dragged me off and that when I came back everything was just… thrown off track because of me. I didn’t mean to mess anything up for you.”
Lie. “So, yeah…” I was avoiding his gaze but I could still feel it linger on me before he eventually spoke, too.

“Anything else?” he asked in tone that sounded so bored that you could tell it was fake.

“Actually yeah,” I answered and looked at him. “I know you’re angry and hurt and you probably want me to apologize for the kiss… but I won’t-“

“I don’t want you to apologize for the damn kiss.” He cut me off and my eyes went wide.

“Y-you don’t?”

“I don’t. You didn’t try to kiss me, I kissed you. So I don’t accept any of your apologies.” He stated.

“I-I… what? Well, what do you want from me then?” I asked in exasperation.

“Nothing, I-I just… Okay, you know what? Just let me talk for a few minutes without breaking me off because I won’t know where to continue if you do.” He started to fiddle with the napkin that had been on the table.

“Yeah, sure…” I answered with a nod, but I really didn’t understand at all.

“I don’t accept any of your apologies because…there’s no need for them, really. I thought about it a lot these past few days and I just… I’m the one who should say that I’m sorry. I’m sorry for kissing you and then putting all of the blame on you. I was wrong and I’m sorry. It’s just that you brought a lot of memories and old feelings with you and at first I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t want to mess it up with anyone. Not Amelia, not the guys, especially not you since we just got you back as a friend. So what I’m trying to say is… I don’t even know what I was trying to say with that, I was just trying to explain myself. I’m just sorry, I guess and I hope you know that.” He finished. The napkin he had been holding was now a pile of white flakes.

“Were you really that nervous that you had to massacre that poor napkin? Come to say, that habit stuck, huh?” I smirked. I didn’t want to talk about the fight anymore. I hoped he knew he was forgiven. I didn’t like confrontations any more than he did.

He let out a small laugh, a smirk playing on his lips. “Well, old habits die hard. You should be the one to know that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I gasped, mocking hurt.

“Well, you’re still trying to change the subject whenever you think it might get uncomfortable.” He smirked into his coffee cup. I didn’t quite know what to say to that because he was right.

I let out a small sigh and ran my hands down my face, resting them there so I could peak at him from behind my fingers.

“We’re okay, aren’t we?” I asked, my voice coming out muffled.

“We’re always okay.” He answered with a small, genuine smile.

“Good. Because I really didn’t want to go search for a new set of friends.” I laughed, but let out a small whine when he flicked my forehead. “Jerk.”

Notes