Friends and Alibis

Another uneventful week had went by and I had to admit I was utterly bored.

Since Brian had taken out Katelyn they were practically joined at the hip. That was when we actually got to see them. I actually thought she had moved in with him instead of me.

When we didn't see them everyone knew what they were doing. Beside them both really liking to bone each other, I really think they hit it off pretty good in every way. They acted like little kids around each other as if they'd been friends forever but if you looked close enough, especially the way they were looking at each other (when they thought no one else was looking; but I was sneaky) was just the look of two people who were head over heels for each other.

Whenever the boys and I met up that week it was mostly just Jimmy, Matt, Johnny and I. Zack usually claimed that he was busy with stuff for the wedding. That struck a nerve in me.

"Guys, when exactly is that wedding?" I asked, nervous about the time frame. I was currently at Matt's house with Jimmy and Johnny. His girlfriend Val wasn't home. She was nice but I hadn't gotten a lot of chances to talk to her yet, with neither of the guys' girlfriends actually.

"In about three weeks, I guess." Matt said nonchalantly and shrugged like it was nothing and as if they had total faith in me.

"So you're expecting me to break them up in three weeks? Are you insane?" I whisper-yelled although everyone around me knew about our insane plan. I was way too shocked and panicked to act normal. "No one would be able to do that in under two months!"

"Relax, will you?" Jimmy said, just as slow and calm as Matt.

"You're not the one who has to break up your friends fucking relationship." I muttered under my breath which made Jimmy laugh a little. He turned to me with a goofy grin on his face.

"If I had boobs, a vagina and his virginity, I would probably do it. Or if he was gay. Think I could turn him gay?" Jimmy said to Matt, and had to laugh at his own idea of turning Zack gay. Or the boobs. Or the vagina. Fact was, with Jimmy you could never tell what exactly he was laughing about.

"Guys?" I asked, slightly amused.

"Yeah?" They asked in unison turning their attention from the TV to me.

"You're all baked, aren't you?" I asked.

"Like all the pastries you can think of. Brownies, Red Velvet Cake, Chocolate Cupcakes, Tiramisu, Apple Pie… Wait no, you don't bake Tiramisu but it's delicious nevertheless. Matt, go make me Tiramisu." Jimmy rambled and it kind of took him forever to get out nevertheless correctly.

"Where's the weed?" I asked.

"Somewhere you'll never find it." Matt said, getting defensive.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, I won't throw it away." again, I thought. I had done that too many times when we were younger, no wonder he didn't trust me. But I was a way too angst-ridden teenager regarding drugs and sexual encounters. I was surprised I even slept with Zack. My pubescent me actually should have been way too panicked about him getting me impregnated or something to let a penis near me. It even took him about five months of being together to get my permission to get off my bra.

He reached into his pocket and threw the joint at me. I lit it and took a drag, relaxing against the bean bag I was sitting in.

"Who would have thought, little May doing illegal shit and shit." Jimmy gushed and I looked at him with a serious face.

"Who would've thought, little May growing up and drugs existing in Seattle." I retorted, rolling my eyes and taking another drag.

We all were getting pretty stoned and at some point we were all on the floor giggling like little kids.

"..A-and then h-he.. t-took ev-everything all a-at once into hi-his mouth a-and I think I-I saw it co-coming out o-of his no-nose!" Jimmy tried to tell the ending of a story about Matt, who was nearly crying and clutching his stomach.

"Oh, god. I remember that. I-"

"What the fucking hell are you guys doing?" An amused voice came from the doorway, cutting me off mid-sentence.

"Zack-yyy!" I yelled cheerfully with a wide smile on my face. I think at this point I didn't really have control of any of my actions anymore. "Yo, where's your woman? I thought she had you on a leash!"

Zack apparently ignored my comment and came to my side to pull me up by my hands, just to bring me into a hug. And I couldn't help but notice how nice he smelled. Don't get me wrong, he always smelled nice. It's just that I was probably that intoxicated that I noticed it even more. And it was the same smell that had offered me comfort when I wasn't feeling too well.

He let go all too soon and smiled before speaking again. "I actually meant talk to you anyway. Can we, like, go somewhere private? Maybe the kitchen?" He asked and I couldn't help but notice that his smile had faltered at the thought of whatever he was going to tell me.

I nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the kitchen.

"What's up?" I asked, trying my best to sound sane and as not high as possible though my voice broke off in the middle of speaking, leaving me to sound like a pubescent boy. Normally he would have laughed at me for that but either whatever he wanted to talk to me about was serious business or he had matured and chosen not to tease me. I had to go with the former. I wouldn't live to ever see the day those guys would act mature. But the thought of a serious talk left me feeling uneasy and nauseous.

"I wanted to talk to you about the wedding." He began and just by the tone that his voice held I could tell that it was neither about my invitation nor if I wanted to bring someone with me. "You have to believe me, it was not my idea because you still are one of my best friends and I wouldn't want for you to miss it and I would love to have there but Amelia insisted and-" He rambled and I could somehow tell where this was going, so I cut him off.

"I’m not invited." I stated, feeling a bit hurt although I shouldn't have. ‘There will be no wedding if you do it right, May.’ I told myself.

"I'm sorry, it's just.. God, I don't know.. I've spent the whole afternoon arguing with her and she won in the end. I'm sorry. I would have loved to have you there." He admitted with sincere sadness in his voice.

"I-.." I started but there was a lump in my throat and tears pricking at the corner of my eye. "Yeah, no, I totally understand. No big deal." I tried to laugh it off but my laugh came out forced. "Just tell me one thing." I added and he nodded, telling me to keep talking. "What do you actually see in her?"

"May, I don-"

"No. Don't talk yourself out of it. What do you see in here? It's a simple question which shouldn't be hard to answer for you since you are oh so whipped that you're letting her get away with acting like a total bitch toward your friends, your family and most of all yourself. She's acting as if you're her personal slave and I have a hard time believing you're happy with that." I said, holding back my tears. "I still care for you, a lot, and you deserve better in not only mine but also the guys' opinion."

He stood before me, mouth agape and speechless. I turned around and walked out pinching my eyes shut at what just had come out of my mouth. I wasn't in a position to say that and most of all I shouldn't have let him stand there like that. But I couldn't go back in there. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I scolded myself as I went back to the other guys to search for my purse. When I finally found it I said bye to everyone. Zack still hadn't come out of the kitchen.

"You shouldn't drive all stoned, y'know." Johnny yelled after me.

"Watch me!" I threw over my back, loud enough for the whole neighbourhood to hear it.

I drove home and climbed into bed, wrapping my blanket around me securely while I tried my hardest not to cry.

Kate poked her head around the corner to look into my room. I hadn't noticed she was in my apartment when I had stormed in.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice laced with concern.

"No." I said and it took me just one word to start sobbing but Katelyn laid herself beside me and hugged me until I felt better.

And in that moment I noticed how many feelings I still had for Zack, how much I had missed a best friend, how much I needed one and just how lucky I was that Katelyn was that person.

Notes