Fiction
Nothing to lose
I woke up the next morning to find an awake Alex brushing her teeth in my bathroom. "You sleep forever." She said after she spit. I looked at the clock, it was noon.
"It's only noon, how do you wake up so early anyways." I said, laying back down. "Is Jimmy still here?" I asked her.
"I don't think so, I haven't checked." She said, rinsing her mouth out with the tap water.
"I'll go check." I stated as I sat up and got out of bed.
I walked down the stairs and saw Jimmy, still sleeping on the couch. I couldn't help but smile at how childish and innocent he looked while he slept. My sister wasn't up yet, it was her day off, (she had sundays and mondays off) and she was probably hungover. I walked over to Jimmy, who fell asleep in his clothes under the blanket we kept in the living room. His hair was messy and his eyeliner looked almost completely rubbed off his face. I couldn't help but stare at his face and watch the rhythm of his breathing for a while before I heard that Alex was walking down the stairs. When she came out she was already dressed into the clothes she had brought, a tee shirt with a panda on it with bright red skinny jeans, and she had straightened her hair already.
"He's still asleep." I whispered to her.
"Okay I'm gonna make some cereal." She whispered back. I tried to focus on trying to wake Jimmy up but I really didn't want to bother him.
"Jimmy, wake up." I whispered as I softly shook him awake. His eyes opened slowly and he smiled up at me.
"Hey Shauni.." He smiled sleepily. "What time is it?" He asked as he sat up.
"Um, like noon." I told him.
"Oh, well I should probably get going then." He told me.
"You don't want breakfast or anything?" I asked him.
"Sure that'd be great." He smiled as he stood up and we walked over to the kitchen where Alex was already eating fruity pebbles. "So what do you have?" He asked as he opened the fridge.
"Ha you think you have a choice." I laughed. "There's cereal and… things I can't make." I said nonchalantly, he laughed which instantly made me smile. He sat down at the chair across from Alex.
"Well I'll take your finest bowl of corn flakes m'lady." He said in a fake British accent that made Alex and I giggle. I made him his cornflakes and made myself some lucky charms.
"Here you go." I chirped as I set his bowl in front of him and sat in the chair on the side between them. I started eating the cereal slowly because my stomach hurt, I only ate about half of it.
After breakfast they left but Jimmy came back after he went to grab a shower and change at his house, so I wasn't completely lonely. We were hanging out in my room, we were sitting on my bed and I was using my laptop as we watched TV.
"Hey does Alex like Zack?" He asked after a while.
"Um I don't know, why?" I lied trying not to tell anything I wasn't supposed to.
"Because I think he likes her, and he has a habit of falling for girls who aren't interested." He said sadly.
"Oh well in that case she does like him, I lied before." I stated and he looked surprised. "I just didn't want to tell you before I knew if he liked her too." I told him and he nodded in reply.
"Now I have to get them together." I sighed as I closed my laptop and sat it on my table. "All in the work of a best friend." I said and it made Jimmy laugh.
"How 'bout you? Anyone catch your eye for romance?" He asked jokingly.
"No, not really, it's not like I attract anyone but scum anyways..." I sighed as I looked at his eyes, I noticed that he wasn't wearing eyeliner at all, his blue eyes were mesmerizing sometimes, I bit the inside of my lip to keep from kissing him right there, I stopped when I started to taste blood.
"Oh." He said somberly.
"So what about you?" I asked him quietly.
"What about me?" He said back.
"There's no one you're interested in?" I asked him.
"There's one girl, but I don't have a chance, god she's beautiful." He said as his eyes lit up and I felt my heart crack in my chest.
"Oh. I'm sure she likes you back, you should go for it." I said to him quietly as I stared at the ground trying not to cry, blinking away the tears. "Um I have to go check on my sister, she's been sleeping for a while." I said trying to leave the room.
"Uh okay." He replied, confused.
I walked out of the room and went downstairs, into the downstairs bathroom. I shut the door behind me and felt my eyes fill up with tears, I hated crying but I found myself doing it more often lately. "God I'm so stupid." I muttered to myself. "Did I seriously believe he could actually like me?" I thought as tears continued to soak my face and I still tried to not make noise. After I was done, I looked at my face in the mirror, my face was wet with tears so I washed it but it was still puffy afterwards and my eyes were still a bit bloodshot, I hoped no one would notice, I brushed my bangs down as my hair was starting to grow out, thinking maybe my hair would hide my eyes.
I left the bathroom and still went into Vicky's room to check on her. She was laying on her side so I could see her face and that she was still asleep. "Vicky?" I whispered.
"What?!" She groaned.
"Are you okay?" I whispered.
"Yeah just let me sleep..." She groaned and flipped over away from the light that was coming from the doorway.
"Okay..." I whispered and tip toed out of the room. I walked back upstairs and walked into my room to find Jimmy laying spread out on my bed and watching some cooking competition show on the food network.
"Dude are you watching cupcake wars?" I asked laughing.
"Yes! They have to make cupcakes out of fucking corn and peppers and other stuff that should never be in a cupcake!" He exclaimed excitedly. We laughed until his expression changed when he looked up at me.
"What?" I questioned.
"Have you been crying?" He asked.
"No... Why?" I lied.
"Don't lie, your eyes are all red. I know you've been crying now tell me why." He demanded.
"I can't." I said to him sadly.
"Why? Why can't you tell me?" He asked with hurt in his eyes.
"I just can't Jimmy." I said looking away from him.
"What do I have to do for you to trust me?!" He asked sadly.
"I do trust you Jimmy, it's just too personal." I said trying not to tear up again.
"I tell you everything Shauni, I don't know why you can't trust me enough to tell me." He exclaimed. I didn't reply I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, he sighed and left the room.
I let out the shaky breath I didn't know I was holding when I heard the front door of my house open and close and I knew he had left. I couldn't help but bang the wall with my fist, hurting my knuckles. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I muttered as I felt tears fill up my eyes. "I should have told him how I felt, now I have to suffer with seeing him with the girl he's actually in love with." I said to myself. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be around him and not want to just kiss him all the time." I thought. "Well now that I know he doesn't even like me, I guess I have nothing to lose." I whispered as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I got out my phone and scrolled through my contacts, and called Brian, I tried to wipe off the tears with my sleeve while it rang, but my face was too wet.
"Shauni?" Brian said on the phone.
"I need to talk to you." I said hoping he couldn't hear that I had just been crying.
"It's only noon, how do you wake up so early anyways." I said, laying back down. "Is Jimmy still here?" I asked her.
"I don't think so, I haven't checked." She said, rinsing her mouth out with the tap water.
"I'll go check." I stated as I sat up and got out of bed.
I walked down the stairs and saw Jimmy, still sleeping on the couch. I couldn't help but smile at how childish and innocent he looked while he slept. My sister wasn't up yet, it was her day off, (she had sundays and mondays off) and she was probably hungover. I walked over to Jimmy, who fell asleep in his clothes under the blanket we kept in the living room. His hair was messy and his eyeliner looked almost completely rubbed off his face. I couldn't help but stare at his face and watch the rhythm of his breathing for a while before I heard that Alex was walking down the stairs. When she came out she was already dressed into the clothes she had brought, a tee shirt with a panda on it with bright red skinny jeans, and she had straightened her hair already.
"He's still asleep." I whispered to her.
"Okay I'm gonna make some cereal." She whispered back. I tried to focus on trying to wake Jimmy up but I really didn't want to bother him.
"Jimmy, wake up." I whispered as I softly shook him awake. His eyes opened slowly and he smiled up at me.
"Hey Shauni.." He smiled sleepily. "What time is it?" He asked as he sat up.
"Um, like noon." I told him.
"Oh, well I should probably get going then." He told me.
"You don't want breakfast or anything?" I asked him.
"Sure that'd be great." He smiled as he stood up and we walked over to the kitchen where Alex was already eating fruity pebbles. "So what do you have?" He asked as he opened the fridge.
"Ha you think you have a choice." I laughed. "There's cereal and… things I can't make." I said nonchalantly, he laughed which instantly made me smile. He sat down at the chair across from Alex.
"Well I'll take your finest bowl of corn flakes m'lady." He said in a fake British accent that made Alex and I giggle. I made him his cornflakes and made myself some lucky charms.
"Here you go." I chirped as I set his bowl in front of him and sat in the chair on the side between them. I started eating the cereal slowly because my stomach hurt, I only ate about half of it.
After breakfast they left but Jimmy came back after he went to grab a shower and change at his house, so I wasn't completely lonely. We were hanging out in my room, we were sitting on my bed and I was using my laptop as we watched TV.
"Hey does Alex like Zack?" He asked after a while.
"Um I don't know, why?" I lied trying not to tell anything I wasn't supposed to.
"Because I think he likes her, and he has a habit of falling for girls who aren't interested." He said sadly.
"Oh well in that case she does like him, I lied before." I stated and he looked surprised. "I just didn't want to tell you before I knew if he liked her too." I told him and he nodded in reply.
"Now I have to get them together." I sighed as I closed my laptop and sat it on my table. "All in the work of a best friend." I said and it made Jimmy laugh.
"How 'bout you? Anyone catch your eye for romance?" He asked jokingly.
"No, not really, it's not like I attract anyone but scum anyways..." I sighed as I looked at his eyes, I noticed that he wasn't wearing eyeliner at all, his blue eyes were mesmerizing sometimes, I bit the inside of my lip to keep from kissing him right there, I stopped when I started to taste blood.
"Oh." He said somberly.
"So what about you?" I asked him quietly.
"What about me?" He said back.
"There's no one you're interested in?" I asked him.
"There's one girl, but I don't have a chance, god she's beautiful." He said as his eyes lit up and I felt my heart crack in my chest.
"Oh. I'm sure she likes you back, you should go for it." I said to him quietly as I stared at the ground trying not to cry, blinking away the tears. "Um I have to go check on my sister, she's been sleeping for a while." I said trying to leave the room.
"Uh okay." He replied, confused.
I walked out of the room and went downstairs, into the downstairs bathroom. I shut the door behind me and felt my eyes fill up with tears, I hated crying but I found myself doing it more often lately. "God I'm so stupid." I muttered to myself. "Did I seriously believe he could actually like me?" I thought as tears continued to soak my face and I still tried to not make noise. After I was done, I looked at my face in the mirror, my face was wet with tears so I washed it but it was still puffy afterwards and my eyes were still a bit bloodshot, I hoped no one would notice, I brushed my bangs down as my hair was starting to grow out, thinking maybe my hair would hide my eyes.
I left the bathroom and still went into Vicky's room to check on her. She was laying on her side so I could see her face and that she was still asleep. "Vicky?" I whispered.
"What?!" She groaned.
"Are you okay?" I whispered.
"Yeah just let me sleep..." She groaned and flipped over away from the light that was coming from the doorway.
"Okay..." I whispered and tip toed out of the room. I walked back upstairs and walked into my room to find Jimmy laying spread out on my bed and watching some cooking competition show on the food network.
"Dude are you watching cupcake wars?" I asked laughing.
"Yes! They have to make cupcakes out of fucking corn and peppers and other stuff that should never be in a cupcake!" He exclaimed excitedly. We laughed until his expression changed when he looked up at me.
"What?" I questioned.
"Have you been crying?" He asked.
"No... Why?" I lied.
"Don't lie, your eyes are all red. I know you've been crying now tell me why." He demanded.
"I can't." I said to him sadly.
"Why? Why can't you tell me?" He asked with hurt in his eyes.
"I just can't Jimmy." I said looking away from him.
"What do I have to do for you to trust me?!" He asked sadly.
"I do trust you Jimmy, it's just too personal." I said trying not to tear up again.
"I tell you everything Shauni, I don't know why you can't trust me enough to tell me." He exclaimed. I didn't reply I couldn't even bring myself to look at him, he sighed and left the room.
I let out the shaky breath I didn't know I was holding when I heard the front door of my house open and close and I knew he had left. I couldn't help but bang the wall with my fist, hurting my knuckles. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" I muttered as I felt tears fill up my eyes. "I should have told him how I felt, now I have to suffer with seeing him with the girl he's actually in love with." I said to myself. "I can't do this anymore. I can't be around him and not want to just kiss him all the time." I thought. "Well now that I know he doesn't even like me, I guess I have nothing to lose." I whispered as I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I got out my phone and scrolled through my contacts, and called Brian, I tried to wipe off the tears with my sleeve while it rang, but my face was too wet.
"Shauni?" Brian said on the phone.
"I need to talk to you." I said hoping he couldn't hear that I had just been crying.
Really love this story :3
5/1/15