I waited up until almost 1:30 AM waiting to hear from Brian; wondering how his outing with Michelle went. Sleep defeated me and I passed out with my cell phone in my hand. The sound of my alarm going off the next morning jolted me awake and I immediately looked at my phone.

No missed calls, no text messages.

I flung my phone on the nightstand and rolled out of bed to get ready for work. "Nice work Junior," I mumbled aloud, "you slut."

As I pulled into a parking space at work, my phone finally rang; BRIAN flashed on the caller ID.

"What are you doing awake so early?" I answered.

"I haven't went to bed yet," he groaned, slurring slightly.

My stomach flipped inside my body. "That good of a date, huh?"

"If drinking all night with Jimmy is a date, then yes," he laughed. "I was a gentleman, I took Michelle to dinner and somehow got suckered into going to the bar with Jimmy."

My body immediately melted into the car seat in relief. "He's a real charmer!"

"Well, I know you're probably at work now, so I'm gonna let you go," he yawned loudly into the phone. "Just had to make sure I talked to you before I go into a booze induced coma and you think I'm dead," he joked.

"I appreciate it," I rolled my eyes with a soft giggle. "I'll talk to you later."
_____________
Friday came in a blink of an eye. In less than 30 minutes, I'd be face to face with Phil after 3 years of no contact what so ever. My stomach never wanted to expel itself out of my mouth worse than it did that night.

I heard my front door open and Jimmy's loud mouth announce their arrival. They were chattering like a group of tweens on their way to see a Hannah Montana concert. Just as I was about to rip them all a new asshole about being fan-boys, I saw that Michelle was amidst the group of bodies.

I tried to camouflage my facial expression by quickly greeting them. "You guys ready?"

“You know it!” Zacky spoke up. “Let’s go!”

We piled into three separate cars and headed toward the venue. “Are you going to throw up on me?” Johnny teased me and pretended to shove me away from him. “These are new jeans, Rach. Lean that way!”

Everyone turned to look at me. “Will you guys stop?!” I demanded, only causing them to snicker at me.

I saw the tour buses as we pulled into the private parking lot behind the venue, my blood pumping harder. “See anybody you know Rachel?” Brian asked me, gazing up into the rearview mirror.

I looked out the window, scanning the roadies for a familiar face. “Yes!” I suddenly became excited when I saw Pepper talking to a tech. Before the car was even in park, I flung the door open and jogged my way to where the men were standing. “Pep!” I called.

His head turned towards my voice and a welcoming smile spread across his lips, “Hey baby!” he called out in return.

We embraced each other tightly, my legs wrapping around his waist in excitement. “How the fuck are you???” I screeched.

“Not too bad,” he squeezed me tight before setting me back down on my feet. “You? Jesus, how long has it been?” He took a step back to look me up and down.

“Three years,” I reminded him.

“The guys are gonna shit when they see you,” he warned.

“Remember these crazy bastards?” I asked, pointing to the large group behind me.

“Of course, what’s up?” he asked as he shook hands and greeted everybody. “You guys ready to go inside?”

I swallowed and it felt like a brick was going down my throat. I knew Pepper could see the panic on my face.

“It’s ok,” he assured me, “come on.”

He took my hand and led all of us inside the large building. As we approached the dressing room door my knees locked. Pepper nudged me to get me to keep walking.

There he was; sitting on the couch drinking a beer. If there was ever a time I with I could take a mental photograph to have forever, it would be that moment--his face had never looked so at ease and it almost seemed that when he saw me, he became satisfied.

“Rachel,” he grinned as his gravelly voice said my name. He stood from the couch and sat his beer down on the table in front of him.

I immediately began to cry when I saw him, time stood still as I made my way to hug him. I latched onto him, trying to hide the fact that I was crying. I felt his lips touch the top of my head as we embraced.

We continued to hug as he shook hands with all the guys, his deep voice rumbling in his chest against my cheek. “Good to see you guys again,” he said genuinely.

Our arms released from one another and I immediately glanced over to see the kind of reaction Brian was having to the reunion. He only smiled and winked at me before everyone began conversing.

“I hate to break up the reunion,” a roadie spoke up. “But it’s time to head for the stage fellas,” he announced.

“You guys going to sit in the crowd or on stage?” Phil asked.

“Can all of us fit on the side stage?” Jimmy questioned. “If not, Johnny and Brian can go watch from out there.”

“Fuck you Jimmy,” Johnny chuckled.

“We’ll make room,” Pepper laughed.

We split into two groups; Brian, Michelle, Val, Matt and I went to one side of the stage and everyone else went to the opposite side. I felt Brian’s arms wrap around me from behind as we stood in the dark before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

The guys sounded as amazing as ever. I was blown away. I hadn’t seen them play in so long, I forgot how incredible their shows were. Everyone was enjoying themselves to no end.

Then it happened. I heard them begin to play the song “Where I’m Going”. The song Phil had written about me. The song that crushed me every time I heard it.

“Now don't you worry none, leave this part of yourself behind. I'm giving you back to yourself,” Phil crooned into the microphone.

“So should you make the change? Or could you right them wrongs? For I cannot replace where I'm going.”

Brian instinctively felt my discomfort. He looked to me, almost in distress...waiting.

“So you're angry with me, what could be better, my love? Have most of everything for yourself,” the words continued to boom from the speakers.

And just as he knew I would, I fled the stage like a bolt of lightning.