I felt the bed begin to shift from Brian's movement as I slipped into bed with him. I had just settled under the covers when he turned to face me, half asleep.

"Did you finish cleaning my house, wench?" he spoke groggily as he put his arms around me and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Fucker!" I punched his shoulder as hard as I could as I laughed.

He had a smug smile, his eyes closing back. "How are you still awake?" he yawned.

"Thinking," I answered.

"About what?"

"Phil is coming to LA next week," I admitted, almost regretting it when it left my lips.

Brian's eyes were now completely open and fixated on my face. Maybe my subconscious spit it out in retaliation against him for having a date. I felt that if I had to have a knot in my stomach because of him, it was only fair to return the favor.

I guess this would be a good time to give some background information...several years ago, I was dating a very well known musician, Phil Anselmo. He was the most serious relationship I had ever had, as well as the most difficult. We had been together for a long time. I always pictured us getting married, but we fell deep into drug use and the relationship had become unbearable for me. He always promised he'd quit, but he never did. I was enabling him and myself by staying...so I cut all ties with him completely. If I didn't, I would most likely be dead.

Just a few months ago we got back in contact through a mutual friend, Pepper. I hadn't told Brian because I know it would send him through the roof. He had made me promise I'd never have anything to do with Phil again because every time something went wrong, it was Brian who had to deal with me and pick up the pieces. All indications pointed to Phil being clean and I saw no reason for him to lie about that.

"Why?" Brian finally spoke.

I rolled away from Brian, laying on my back, staring at the ceiling. "Down is playing a show next Friday."

"I hope you know I'm going with you," he grunted.

"And why is that? Do you not trust me to be on my best behavior?" I jabbed his stomach playfully.

"It's not that. I've always wanted to see Down live," he smiled at me.

His comment took me by surprise. I couldn't help but laugh as I was expecting the worst.

I remember all of Avenged being extremely floored, especially Matt, when they found out I was dating one of their idols. We had all grown up listening to Pantera; thinking they were the most amazing humans on the planet.

"And I'm pretty sure everyone else is going to want to go too," he continued. "I can already see Matt popping wood when he hears they are coming," he chuckled at himself.

"Do you think Matt would be the pitcher or the catcher?" I almost grossed myself out at the thought.

"Anselmo would make Matt his bitch!" We both went into a fit of laughter for what seemed like forever.
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"You're not going to have any nails left if you keep chewing them!" Stacey smacked my hand away from my mouth like a mother would her child. "What's with you today anyway?"

"I can't help it!" I sank deeper into my chair as I looked at my watch. Today was the day...Brian and Michelle's date. I still had an hour to go until work was over and I hadn't been productive all day.

Stacey and I worked together at a place called MMA Elite. It was a public relations firm that represented mixed martial artists that fought UFC, WEC and other high profile extreme fighting championships. I loved my job as I had grown up with three older brothers (and Brian) who were obsessed with the bloody bouts. It didn't hurt that I worked closely with buff half-naked men either.

I hadn't mentioned to Stacey yet that Brian had a date...or that Phil was coming in two days. Mainly I felt ridiculous that I was concerned so much with Brian's intimate life, being that I was thought of as only as his best friend. Sure I noticed Brian in a sexual way before now; when I'd see him change his clothes growing up or when we would sleep over at one another's house in the same bed. But it was never like this.

"Hey you," Stacey bumped my shoulder with the palm of her hand. "Earth to Rachel!" she laughed. "Seriously, what is it?"

I slouched in my desk chair and blinked my eyes slowly. "Brian," I said flatly.

"What about him?" she asked as she sat down on the top of my desk next to me. "Is he ok?"

"Yeah, he's fine," I assured her. "It's me."

"What did you do now?" she teased.

"When I went home to Huntington this past weekend, he told me he was going on a date."

"And?"

"That's the problem," I sighed.

"What's the problem?" she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"That I would be so focused on that all day, I can't think of anything else. It's...weird."

"Whaaaat?" Stacey drew out in a long, low tone. "You're weirded out that he has a date with someone?"

I nodded. "I've never had this happen before. He had girlfriends all the time up until recently. Once Avenged started getting huge, he focused mainly on that."

"Are you jealous that you'll have to share his time with someone else? Or is it deeper than that?"

"I haven't figured that part out yet. All I know is, I cringe every time I think about it," I swept my platinum bangs from my eyes.

"It was bound to happen one day Rach," she put her hand on my shoulder. "If a date is bugging you this much, imagine when he gets married!" she cracked a small, sympathetic smile. "Maybe now you'll take up that dinner invite with Rob."

Rob McCullough...he was a gorgeous Mexican/Irish, tanned, hard-bodied, tattooed tough guy that was a huge name on the fighting circuit. He had asked me to dinner more times than I could count. But no matter how many times he asked, I said no. I wasn't interested in dating, it would only take away from my time with Brian. It felt fucked up even having that rationality, but that's how I felt regardless.

"I know, I'm an idiot. This is just stupid!" I laughed at myself. "He's my soul mate, I should be happy if he's happy. When he hurts, I hurt...so I should be a good enough friend to share his joy too, right?"

"Have you ever thought about telling him how you felt about it?"

"Are you crazy? Why would I? He doesn't see me like that."

"You never know unless you ask," she gave me a cocky sneer.

"Just forget I said anything," I looked away from her and back to my computer screen.

"Fine," she agreed as she slid off my desk and left my office. "But don't forget I'm your maid of honor when you two get married," she poked her head in for one last word and she was off down the hall with a laugh.