It's now been two months since I've been in California and the time has painfully dragged. I got a job as a personal trainer at a local gym. Matt and Val insisted that I should take time and relax after working for so long overseas but I was starting to go stir crazy and I had to do something. Especially after my little fiasco with Brian and zacky. I needed something else to keep my mind occupied, atleast for part of the day. Since the morning they both pretty much called me a whore and stormed out I didn't leave my room for a week straight. Of course they immediately had to run their mouths about it so in no time everybody knew everything and I was absolutely mortified, but I knew it was going to happen. I wouldn't talk to anyone not even Val but she would come by my room a few times a day and leave food outside my door which most of the time would go untouched . But slowly over time I came around alittle bit and Val and I became extremely close. I was still a lot more depressed than I lead on but I didn't want to be a constant drag so I did what I do best and buried it down deep until I was alone in my room at night. My days pretty much consisted of working out and helping other people try and get in shape. Then I went home closed myself in my room and ate all kinds of junk and watched sappy movies. So in a nutshell I was a complete hypocrite. I told people how to eat healthy and work out and here I was laying in bed eating donuts every night. Luckily for me my job kept me from gaining any weight from it. I did my best to avoid Brian and zacky whenever they were over not that it mattered because even if I happened to be there they acted like I didn't exist.

" alright ill see you guys Monday!" I hollered to my co workers as I headed out to my car. Today was my birthday but I didn't dare tell anyone, not even Val. I've never been a huge fan of celebrating my birthday anyway and especially not with the way I've been feeling lately. So I just went on about my day like it was any other honestly at times forgetting it was even my birthday.

" thank god" I sighed in relief when I only saw Val's car in the driveway. I wasn't in the mood to see Brian and zacky. I really wasn't in the mood to see anyone. I didn't feel so Good and I just wanted to take a bath and go to sleep. I grabbed my gym bag out of the passenger seat of my car and walked to the door as I fiddled with my keys to find the right one and opened the door.

" SUPRISE!!!!!! " I heard everyone yell as I stood there in shock as I took in my surroundings. Val came running up to me pulling me into a hug.

" How did you know?? " I whispered to her .

" Oh I have my ways" she smirked pulling me to her again. " happy birthday Frankie" she shouted. As she walked away my face still held a look of confusion as I stayed planted in the same spot since I had walked in. Everyone else went on talking amongst themselves and enjoying the party. My eyes continued scanning the room until they landed on zacky sitting in the corner with the same blonde girl he's been bringing around for a few weeks. to be honest she looked like a self absorbed ditz. Every time I saw her she was checking herself out in her compact mirror and completely ignoring everyone else. Val couldn't stand her but kept her mouth shut to be polite. I don't even know why he was here to begin with at my birthday party probably just to make sure I saw his little blonde play toy. Whatever he was trying to do it worked. I felt jealousy start to boil in my blood. My eyes slowly shifted more to the right as mine met with Brian's. he shot me a nasty look then shook his head laughing as he turned back to continue his conversation with zacky and Barbie. My stomach started to churn and I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I slapped my hand over my mouth and ran upstairs to my bathroom just making it in time to wretch all my stomach contents into the toilet. Once I let out everything I layed on the cool bathroom tile curling myself into the fetal position as the tears started running down my face. I jumped as I felt two small hands on my shoulders.

" I'm so sorry Frankie! I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted you to have a nice birthday" Val whispered her eyes glassy like she was about to cry.

" No Val it means a lot that you thought of me! And thank you! I'm sorry I've ruined it" I said back trying to compose myself. I felt horrible that she felt bad. Man I was just on a freakin roll making people feel like shit. I smiled warmly at her and pulled her into a hug as we both sat on the floor. " thank you again Val for everything. I don't know what id do without you" I whispered as I felt her hug me tighter. I decided that I needed to pull myself together and go back down to the party. If Brian and zacky wanted to be jerks that was their problem but Val worked hard on this and I wasn't going to ruin it. I took a quick shower and then changed into a little black dress and some leopard print heels. I fixed my hair and makeup and made my way back downstairs.

" There's the little birthday monkey!" Jimmy grinned picking me up off the last stair and spinning me around. I laughed as he set me back down and I gave him a hug. I made a beeline for the alcohol I saw set out in the kitchen. I said I was going to come to the party But i didn't say I wasn't going to have to be completely shit faced. Johnny came up beside me slinging his arm around my shoulders.

" Come on everybody, shots with the birthday girl!!! " he screamed as he swayed side to side trying to get his balance. I grabbed a bottle of jäger pouring out the first round of shots as everyone made their way over. Well everyone except the three people sitting over on the couch that hated me.

" first a toast to the birthday girl" Matt rang out holding his shot in the air. " Frankie we've only known each other for a short time but I am truly proud to say your one of my friends and apart of this family. Val and I couldn't be happier to have you in our lives. We love you girl happy birthday" he said as everyone around us cheered happy birthday as we all threw back our shots. I smiled at Matt thanking him for his kind words. As everyone slowly filtered out of the kitchen I stayed put taking shot after shot. I made my way to the stairs knowing if I didn't take a bathroom break soon I'd probably piss myself. As I made my way over I saw Barbie out of the corner of my eye.

" ya your right guys she does look like a skank" she snarled eyeing me up and down. I stopped dead in my tracks as I slowly turned my body to stand directly infront of her.

" What the fuck did you say?" I seethed feeling the alchohol and rage pulsate through my body. She placed her hand on her hip as she inched closer to my face.

" I said " she said slowly like I was too retarded to understand. " you look like a skank" without thinking I slammed my fist into her face watching as she fell into the wall and slid down clutching her cheek. I just stood towering over her trying to fight the urge to jump on top of her and knock her stupid ass out. All talking in the room ceased as the music played on.

" what happened?!" Val screeched running in to stand beside me. I didn't say a word I just continued staring down at the girl I just punched.

" This stupid bitch just hit me!" She yelled pointing at me.

" well Ill tell you right now honey I'm sure it was for a pretty good fucking reason!" Val shot back. The girl had a look of shock etched into her face when she heard Val's response.

" come on Frankie forget this bitch" Val said to me grabbing my hand leading me into the kitchen.

" I'm sorry Val I don't want to ruin this for you but I'm going to go to bed, I just can't do this right now" I whispered feeling had for everything.

" It's ok hun I understand, ill see you in the morning" she smiled placing a kiss on my cheek as I once again went to make my way up the stairs. I blocked out my surroundings as I climbed up the stairs I could hear zacky say something but I just tuned it out. Once I got in my room I threw myself on the bed not even changing. I just wanted to get to sleep and forget today even happened.