I was going crazy.

I felt like I had become addicted to seeing Brian's face. I wanted him to hold me and touch me and do dirty things to me, but on the other hand, I didn't want to even see him because I knew I was a sucker for him. The more I saw him, the more I wanted him, which was obviously a bad thing because he was married and I wasn't going to ruin anybody's relationship.

Jimmy and I had started to hang out daily. During days he would take me on a lunch and after work he'd give me a ride home or we would go see a movie or something. He was fun to be around and, sadly, if I was with him, I got to see Brian more often. In a way, yes, I was using Jimmy but I honestly thought that he was a great person and a great friend to me.

Brian had been on a honeymoon with his wife for two weeks and he was finally back home. I knew all of this because Brian kept texting me every day. We kept each other updated on what we were doing at all times and we had become great friends, except for the fact that I secretly had a crush on him and he was attracted to me.

Things at home hadn't been good at all, and my mother had decided to sell our house. Of course I had told her not to, but since it wasn't my decision to make, she had already put it up for sale. She wanted to move away from the beach and had started looking at houses near the city centre.

I never wanted to let go of the house because it had always been a big part of my life and it held so many memories but sadly, there wasn't anything I could do. I had also decided that I wasn't going to move into our new house with my family because I thought it was finally my time to move to my very own apartment. I just hadn't found one yet.

”I don't know what to do. I would buy our house if I had the money. I don't want to sell it to other people,” I mumbled quietly to Jimmy.

We were sitting in his kitchen, waiting for Brian to arrive. We were going to go looking for houses for me.

”I can buy it,” Jimmy said. I laughed.

”I'm being serious, Jimmy,” I said.

”So am I.”

”What would you do with another house?”

”I don't know. You could live in it?” he suggested.

”Thanks but no thanks. That's not necessary. I just have to try and let go of the past and memories,” I said with a sigh.

Jimmy patted my shoulder and flashed me a smile just as the doorbell rang.

”Ready to go househunting?” he asked me as we both stood up and started making our way to the front door.

”I guess so, yeah...”

We spent the whole day looking at houses and aparments but none of them felt right. I didn't want to live by myself in an apartment that felt weird and too big for me.

”Should we just go back home? I don't think we'll find anything better,” Brian said quietly as we all sat in his car in front of one of the houses. I was staring at the house through the window, feeling a bit annoyed and frustrated.

”Sophia? Is everything alright?” I felt Brian's hand on my thigh as he squeezed it soflty and for a moment there, I just looked at his hand. Then I looked up at his face and our eyes met.

”I just don't want to live by myself, that's all,” I mumbled with a shrug.

”Why don't you move in with one of your friends or something?” he suggested. I shook my head.

”I don't think that's a very good idea. Everybody is already living with their boyfriends or husbands and starting a family and I'm nowhere near getting there,” I explained quietly.

”Come on, flower girl, you can always start a family with me. I'm not going to leave you,” Jimmy exclaimed from the backseat and I couldn't help but laugh sadly.

”Thanks, Jimmy, that's very nice of you,” I told him.

”Do you want me to take you home?” Brian asked me.

”Yeah,” I nodded.

He gave my thigh one more squeeze before he started the car, pulling his hand away from me. I sighed.

We dropped Jimmy off first and then Brian drove to my house. He looked at the house for a long time and then suddenly started grinning like an idiot.

”What's so funny?” I asked and looked at him.

”Do you remember that one night when we were sixteen and your parents were away and we were at the beach, having sex for the first time?” he asked and laughed as he looked at me.

I blushed madly and looked away from him, trying to hide my face.

”Yeah,” I mumbled, trying to cool myself down.

”I always liked it when you blush,” he said quietly.

He reached closer to touch my pink cheek with his long fingers. I looked into his eyes, and got lost in the moment.

I started leaning in, closer to his body, and was about to kiss him when I suddenly realized what I was doing. I quickly stopped myself and pulled my whole body as far away from him as possible.

”I'm sorry, I shouldn't have – ”

”Sophia, don't speak,” Brian whispered as he took a hold of the back of my head, pulling my face close to his.

In one swift move he pulled me into a breath-taking kiss. It felt so good and right, but deep down inside I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't have allowed him to kiss me and I should've pulled away from him.

But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to stop him because I wanted it so much. I wanted to feel his lips against mine because it had been ten years since the last time we had kissed.

He knew exactly how to kiss me and he wasn't being too rough. He held the back of my head gently as he gave me the best kisses ever.

The little teenager in me had fallen back in love with him and all had been forgiven. It didn't matter that he had once broken my heart because kissing him at that moment was the best thing ever.

When we pulled apart, Brian was breathing heavily. He pressed his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes closed the whole time.

”You have no idea,” he whispered, ”How much I want you right now.”

”We can't... We can't do this. You can't do this to your wife, you love her,” I whispered.

I looked at him and he finally opened his eyes, biting his lip.

”I'm sorry, you're right. You probably think I'm a horrible person,” he muttered and started shaking his head. I had to touch his cheek and shook my head.

”You're not a horrible person,” I told him quietly, ”Don't blame yourself for this. I'm sure we can both just... Forget about this.”

”Thank you, Sophia. You... You've always known how to make me feel better,” he said and flashed a quick smile. I nodded and opened the car door.

”Thanks for the ride,” I mumbled before leaving.

When I got home, I went to lay on my bed and didn't move a bit until the very next morning. I did a lot of thinking and barely slept that night.

And once again, I couldn't get Brian out of my head. I couldn't help but feel sad that every night he went home to his wife and spent time with her and held her until she fell asleep. And, sadly, I could've been in her place. I could've been his wife if we had never broken up and we could've had a happy future together.

The next day my mother came into my room to tell me the ”happy” news. I was still laying in bed, ready to be late for work, when the door opened and she marched in.

”Sophia, our house has been sold!” she exclaimed.

My eyes shot wide open and I looked at her in horror. My mom was smiling, and she seemed to be very happy about the news.

”Who bought it?” I mumbled and sat up, ruffling my hair.

”We don't know yet. But we have to be out of here by the end of the week,” she told me.

”Oh my god...”

”Oh, and aren't you going to be late for work?”

”Yes... I was going to call my boss and let her know I'm sick,” I mumbled and rubbed my eyes.

”Why would you do that, huh?”

”Because I feel sick. Mentally,” I muttered and laid down again, closing my eyes.

”Sophia, honey... Has something happened? Lately you've been acting weird. Have you started dating somebody? I thought I saw you with some man last night.”

”I haven't started dating anybody, mom. Will you please close the door when you leave?” I mumbled. I heard her sigh before the door closed and she was gone.