On Monday morning reality slapped my cheek. After a wonderful weekend with Brian, I had to pull myself down from the clouds. I would have to call my boss and let her know that I wasn't going to New York with the flower shop. I had to tell her that I no longer would work for her and I would have to say goodbye. I hated goodbyes and I hated letting go of things that had once been a huge part of my life, but it had to be done. I had to let go of my job and I would have to stop being the flower girl.

I sat in my kitchen and held my phone in my hands for a long time before I actually felt like I could call my boss. Brian had left early that morning because he said that ”there was something he had to do” but actually he would just go and return the ring he had bought for me. I knew all of this because I had seen him staring at the ring the previous night. He had put it back into its tiny box and into a small plastic bag before putting it into the chest pocket of his coat. I was sure that he would return it to the shop where he had bought it because I couldn't think of a reason for him to keep it.

I stared out of the window for a while before finally dialing my boss's number and calling her. It took her a moment to answer and once she did, I wish I hadn't called her. I didn't think I was quite ready to quit my job, even though I knew I had to.

”Good morning, Sophia! I was just thinking about you! Are you ready for New York?” Her voice sounded bright and cheerful.

I swallowed hard and started playing with my fingers while trying to figure out what to tell her.

”Uhm... I'm... I'm not going to New York,” I mumbled quietly. I wasn't even sure if she heard me.

”What?”

”I'm not going to New York,” I said a little louder.

”What do you mean, you're not going?” she asked me.

All of a sudden she didn't sound so happy anymore.

”I've fallen in love with someone. I can't just leave everything behind,” I told her.

”Love doesn't last forever, dear.”

”Yes it does. My love for him will last forever,” I said, getting slightly offended by her words. Of course true love lasted forever - it had to, right?

”Oh, dear... You were my very best employee. Are you sure that you're quitting?”

”I'm positive. It's been more than great working for you and the flower shop,” I told her, ”Thank you for everything.”

”Well, I guess everything has to come to an end. Best of luck with everything, Sophia!”

After ending the call, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I had just quit my job and in the worst case scenario my life would become awful. I knew I had to start looking for a new job soon but I decided that I was going to relax for a week. Next week I would start worrying about everything again.

When Brian came back, I asked him if he had taken the ring back already. He furrowed his eyebrows and then narrowed his eyes as he looked at me.

”How do you know that I returned it?” he asked me.

”I just know you so well.”

”No, but, seriously?”

”I saw that you put it back into the box and into your pocket and I just figured that you were going to return it,” I said and shrugged.

Brian walked over to me and scooped me up into his arms. I hugged him for a long time until he let go of me, only to grab my face and pull me into a rough kiss. I laughed into his mouth before pushing him away.

”So I just quit my job,” I told him before walking to the fridge.

I took out some lasagna from the previous night and set the plate down on the counter.

”Did you, huh? How do you feel now?” Brian asked. I watched as he leaned against the counter and looked at me.

”I don't know,” I admitted, ”I guess it hasn't sunk in yet.”

Brian and I ate the lasagna and for the rest of the day we did nothing but lay on the couch and watch movies. When it started to get late, Brian opened a few beers while I went to take a shower.

After stepping out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and walked into the living room. I saw Brian who was looking at his phone and still laying on the couch.

”Hey, we have a show tomorrow here. Do you want to come and watch us play?” Brian asked me when he noticed me standing in the doorway.

”Uh...”

”Are you going to say no? Come on, Soph, you've never seen us play, have you?”

”Well, no, but I wouldn't know anybody there and I wouldn't feel comfortable...” I mumbled and grimaced slightly.

”Is that a no, then?”

”Uhm... I just... I'd love to see you play but, you know...” I shrugged.

”Uh huh, okay,” Brian muttered and looked at his phone again.

He started texting somebody and I stood there in silence for a moment.

”What are you doing?” I asked.

”Letting our manager know that you won't be there,” he said and didn't even bother to look at me.

”Everybody would've wanted to meet you but I guess it'll have to wait. If it ever even happens.”

”Don't be like that,” I said quietly with a sigh, ”You know me, you know I don't feel comfortable around people that I don't know.”

”But they're my friends, Sophia. They're all going to love you. And you've already met Jimmy and Johnny and Zacky and Matt and they weren't that bad, were they?”

”No, of course not. But...”

”I get it, you don't want to come.”

”It's not about me wanting to be there!” I exclaimed, ”Fine, okay? Fine, I'll be there. Whatever.”

”You don't have to.”

”Don't say that I don't have to because we both know that I really have to come because you want me to,” I muttered.

”Great. I'll let our manager know that you'll be there.”

”Great.”

”Oh, come on, Soph,” Brian said and let out a laugh, ”Calm down. And come here.”

”Now, if I feel completely uncomfortable and stupid tomorrow, it's all your fault,” I mumbled and crossed my arms over my chest as I started walking to him.

When I got to him, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me on to his lap. My towel fell down to the floor and as I was about to grab it, Brian took a hold of my hands and pulled me into a kiss.

I, right away, felt the need to cover my body so I pushed myself up from his lap and grabbed the towel before wrapping it around me. Brian looked disappointed as he sighed deeply and leaned his back against the couch.

”I don't know why you never want to let me see you naked,” he said and shook his head.

”It makes me feel uncomfortable.”

”Yeah but it's only me. I've seen you naked before and I know that your body looks beautiful.”

”Yeah but still.”

I walked up the stairs into my bedroom and went to pull on my pajamas. I brushed my teeth and pulled my wet hair up into a messy ponytail. I sat down on the bed and got under the warm blanket. I knew that Brian would soon join me, after he had finished smoking a cigarette, and I decided to wait for him before falling asleep.

While waiting for him, I thought about him. I thought about his looks and his personality and how much I loved and wanted him. I was nothing more or less than a normal woman who had a very attractive boyfriend, and of course I wanted him – sexually. It had been nearly ten years since the last time we had slept together and god how I wanted him.

Even though I knew that it was wrong to have sex with him while he was still married to Michelle, it didn't stop me from feeling the way I felt. We had hugged and kissed so why would sex be so much different? It wasn't like anybody was even cheating on anybody because Brian and Michelle would soon be divorced. Brian and I could have sex and wouldn't have to feel guilty about it.

But the thing was that the whole thought of having sex with him made me feel nervous. It made me feel like I was once again losing my virginity to him, like I had never before had sex with a man. Was I scared? I didn't think I was but I didn't really feel confident, either.

Brian interrupted my thinking when he walked into the room. I watched as he took off his jeans and threw them on to the floor. He smiled at me before walking to the other side of the bed and climbing under the blanket. He turned off the lights and leaned his head against the pillow.

”Brian?” I whispered.

”Yeah?”

”I...”

I was scared to say that I wanted to sleep with him.

”Yeah?”

”I think...” I swallowed hard before opening my mouth again, ”I want to have sex with you.”

”Was it really so hard to say it?” he asked with a laugh.

I blushed madly and cleared my throat, not knowing what to say. I really wasn't a person who cared about sex that much. It was nice and it was necessary but I never really spoke about it. It would happen when it happened and that was that. It wasn't the most important part of our relationship and that was why we hadn't yet done it.

”I, uh...”

”You don't have to say anything,” Brian whispered suddenly and moved a lot closer to me.

I could feel his hot breath on my skin as he started caressing my cheek with his hand. His face moved closer and only a moment later I felt his lips against my mouth.

”Are you sure you want to do this?” he whispered against my lips and I nodded.

Because it was the truth. There was nothing I would've wanted more than him and I felt like it was the right time to do it.