Not one smart thought went through my mind as I started walking down the street and tried to make my way home. I didn't even care about the fact that I was completely naked or that people could see me like that.

All of a sudden somebody grabbed me by the waist and pulled me up from the ground.

I screamed and realized that it was Brian who was carrying me back inside.

We got back in and he put me down on my feet. And before I could do anything, he pulled me tightly against his chest.

”It breaks my heart when you act like a complete asshole,” he whispered into my ear, ”And I wish you would understand that this isn't easy for me. I would do whatever it takes to make you mine if it only was possible. So, please Sophia, do me a favour and get in bed. Sleep over the night and you'll feel a lot better in the morning when you're sober. Please.”

I didn't know what to say to him. I mean, surely he was right and everything but I was just so sick of everything that I didn't want to obey him.

I let him hold me for a while and it made me calm down and relax and all of a sudden I felt really tired. I thought I was going to pass out any second.

”I'm going to go to sleep,” I whispered.

He pulled away from me slightly and held my face between his hands. He nodded and kissed my cheek before I pulled away from him and started climbing up the stairs. I found my way back into Jimmy's bedroom and laid down on the bed before passing out.

The very next morning was horrible. I stood in the shower for at least half an hour before I felt like I could really wake up. Jimmy gave me a shirt and some shorts because I had thrown up on my own clothes the previous night.

”What's up?” Jimmy asked me as he walked into the kitchen.

I had been sitting there for an hour already, just drinking water and staring out of the window.

”I feel bad,” I mumbled with a shrug, ”I'm sorry about last night. I was... Yeah.”

”It's okay,” he said and laughed, ”Though, maybe you should talk with Brian...”

”Yeah... I think I'm going to call him,” I nodded.

I grabbed my phone from the table and dialed Brian's number. He answered right away.

”Hello?”

”Uh... Hi,” I mumbled quietly, ”Do you have time to talk?”

”Uhm... Yes. What is it?”

”I want to tell you how sorry I am,” I said with a sigh, ”About what happened last night. I was drunk and... Yeah. I'm sorry.”

”Look, it doesn't matter. Let's just forget about it,” he muttered into the phone.

The cold tone of his voice surprised me a bit. When had he become so... Cold? Heartless?

”I want to make it up to you. I can take you out on a lunch or something,” I said.

”There's no need, Sophia. Look, I have to go now. Bye.”

And only a second later he had ended the call.

I stared at the phone in my hand for a moment. Then I looked at Jimmy who was looking at me.

”What did he say?” he asked me.

”He was... He was a bit rude,” I admitted, ”It didn't sound like Brian – at all. Is he okay?”

”I can call him later,” Jimmy said.

”Good. I just... I feel so bad for what happened last night,” I mumbled and buried my face in my hands.

”Do you remember everything? Running out of the house naked? Begging Brian to have sex with you?” Jimmy had a grin on his face.

”Oh my god, don't even talk about that,” I exclaimed. Jimmy just laughed.

For the rest of the day I did nothing but lay on Jimmy's couch and watch movies. I didn't have to go to work, thank god for that, and I decided to just relax and not worry about anything... Except that I couldn't stop worrying about the previous night. Was Brian really that mad at me? I could barely even remember what had happened but if I really had begged Brian to have sex with me... The thought made me grimace.

Jimmy went to their studio with the rest of the band and left me alone. He came back a few hours later with pizzas for us.

”Didn't we eat pizza last night?” I asked him as he sat down on the couch next to me. He handed me the other pizza box and I put it down on my lap.

”I eat pizza everyday,” he said with a grin.

I started eating my pizza and looked at the TV screen for a moment. Then Jimmy opened his mouth.

”You know, I talked to Brian today,” he told me.

I froze and it took me a moment to swallow a mouthful of pizza. Then I cleared my throat and looked at him.

”What did you two talk about?”

”I asked him to come over tonight so you two can talk,” he said.

”No, Jimmy, why did you do that?” I exclaimed.

”I thought you wanted to talk with him.”

”I did – I do! But, you know... He's really angry at me and all that...”

”Soph, he could never be angry at you. You're too important to him,” Jimmy told me.

I sighed and focused on the TV again but once again, my thoughts kept going back to Brian.

Brian arrived a few hours later. He walked into the livingroom without a word and sat down on the other couch. Jimmy decided to leave us alone and once he had left, the silence fell.

Brian and I both looked at each other for a moment. His face was hard and he tried really hard not to show his true feelings, whatever the hell they were.

”I'm sorry,” I started carefully, ”For what I did last night. I shouldn't have done what I did, it was very stupid and I apologize.”

”Is that all?”

”I, uh... What do you want me to say? Why are you so angry at me?”

”I'm not angry at you, Sophia. I just wish you would understand my point of view in this. I really love my wife and I really want to have another chance with her. I can't risk that by being reckless with you, okay?” he spoke quietly.

”But... But I love you,” I whispered. He started shaking his head but didn't say anything.

”I don't know what to do,” I admitted quietly, ”I can't be away from you anymore. I love you so much – I always have.”

”What do you want me to do, Sophia?”

”I wish you would choose me,” I whispered, ”I wish you would come to your senses and realize that we're meant to be together.”

”But what if that isn't true? What if Michelle is the one for me?”

”That can't be true,” I shook my head, ”I'm the one for you, just like you're the one for me.”

”That's not how it works. Look, it's over, Sophia, I'm not going to see you anymore.”

”How can you be so... So heartless?” I whispered really quietly.

”This isn't about being heartless. I'm married to somebody else. That's the end of this conversation,” he told me.

He got up and started walking out of the room.

”Brian, wait,” I stopped him.

I stood up and took a few steps closer to him. I reached him and held my breath as I lifted my hand up. I touched his cheek carefully.

”You know, I wish that everything would've worked out for us,” he said quietly, ”You're a wonderful girl, Sophia. It just wasn't the right time.”

I bit my lip as I looked at his face and couldn't help but stare at his lips for a moment. They looked so soft and nice and... I just wanted to kiss him.

”Sophia... I'm leaving now,” he whispered suddenly. My eyes went back to his eyes and I nodded.

Instead of leaving right away, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my face in his shirt and took a deep breath in, feeling as my whole body relaxed. And I knew right away that it was my spot – that was exactly where I belonged to.

After Brian had left, I went and sat down on the couch again. I grabbed a slice of the already cold pizza and started munching on it. A moment later Jimmy walked into the room.

”Hey, Soph? Are you alright?” he asked me.

I watched as he sat down on the couch before I shrugged, answering his question.

”I'm sure I won't be alright in a long time,” I admitted.

I didn't want to sleep alone that night so Jimmy let me stay the night at his house. He was such a gentleman that he let me sleep in his huge bed while he went and slept in the guest room.

And I knew that Jimmy was a really great friend. I couldn't forget about the fact that Brian had once told me that Jimmy was probably in love with me, too. But to think about it, he hadn't shown any signs that he liked me more than as a friend.

As I laid in Jimmy's big bed at night, I couldn't get sleep. I kept tossing and turning around, kicking off the blanket and then pulling it back over my body again when I got cold, and eventually stopped trying to fall asleep. I sat up and turned on the lights and looked around the room for a moment.

I couldn't help but wonder if Jimmy was lonely. He didn't seem to want a serious relationship but I knew he went out with girls quite often and he slept with them, too. But was he searching for his soulmate? Did he want to find ”the one” for him, or what if he had already found her? I realized that I had spent so much time talking about my problems that I had completely ignored Jimmy's own problems. He had focused on listening to me instead of being the one to talk.

Thinking about loneliness made me think about myself and how lonely I was. I had once been very happy with Brian. We had been a great couple and now suddenly he was somebody else's great boyfriend. It hurt to know that he would always be my special one and I would never be his. I had once given my virginity to him and to me, it meant that he was different than all the other guys I had slept with. We had been a great team, he had teached me a lot of things and because of him I wasn't afraid of anything anymore. I wasn't afraid of boys like I had once been, and I most definitely wasn't afraid to have sex and that was because of Brian. I had shared my most special and private memory – losing my virginity – with him and that would never change and nobody could take that away from me.