Baby Don't Cry
I never meant to hurt the ones who cared.
Instead of going to a bar, Jimmy and I decided to open a bottle of good wine at his place. We ordered pizza and ate and had a good time. Well, as good time as one can have after a shitty night of crying and being miserable.
”Don't you think this was a good idea? After all?” Jimmy asked me with his mouth full of pizza.
I nodded and swallowed a mouthful of food before finishing my fifth glass of wine. Jimmy filled my glass again and I thanked him. To be honest with you, I didn't care about the fact that I was going to be shit-faced by the end of the night. I had only been there for an hour but the wine was starting to work its magic. The whole world seemed to be a lot happier place, thanks to the alcohol.
”Hopefully this will cheer me up,” I said and nodded.
”Do you want to talk about Brian?”
”No,” I shook my head, ”I'm trying my best to get him out of my mind.”
”Well, maybe that's a good thing. But I'm sure that he didn't mean to hurt you, Soph,” Jimmy told me. I nodded.
”I know. I know him and I know he doesn't like hurting people.”
We drank at least three bottles of wine and a lot of beer and let me tell you, that by the end of the night, I was really drunk and not in a good way. I had started thinking about Brian again and I couldn't help but get really sad again.
Jimmy and I sat on his backyard, staring into the surrounding darkness and just talking about everything. Our conversation had turned to Brian and I shed a few tears as I thought about him.
”I love him so much,” I admitted with a sigh, ”It hurts me to know that he'd rather be with his wife.”
”Well... He was with her first.”
”He was with me first,” I said, ”I was his first, he was my first. I've given my all to him and yet he can't be with me.”
”Sophia... You're a very smart girl but you don't seem to understand that the two of them are now married. They expect to have a future together.”
”Whose side are you on, Jimmy?” I asked him and narrowed my eyes as I looked at him.
”I'm not on anybody's side,” he told me, ”Okay?”
”Whatever.”
”Don't get mad at me, Sophia.”
”I'm not mad at you. I'm only mad at Brian for breaking my heart again,” I mumbled.
”Does he know how you feel about all this?” Jimmy asked me.
”Probably not, no. I don't think he even cares.”
”I know you mean a lot to him,” he said quietly.
I nodded and all of a sudden felt the sudden urge to throw up. Since we were outside already, I saw no point in going back inside and finding a bathroom. So I leaned slightly to my side and threw up.
Jimmy rushed to hold my hair back as I emptied my stomach. After finishing, I took deep breaths in and leaned my back against Jimmy's chest.
”Are you okay?” Jimmy whispered quietly. I grimaced and shook my head.
”No,” I mumbled, ”I want Brian.”
”Do you want me to call him?”
”No... Yes.”
Jimmy pulled out his phone and called Brian.
While waiting for him to arrive, I passed out against Jimmy's chest. Jimmy shook me awake when Brian arrived and it took me a moment to realize what was going on. I looked to my side and saw Brian and all of a sudden started throwing up again. I felt as Jimmy pulled his body away from me and suddenly it was Brian who was holding me. I watched as Jimmy walked inside and closed the door, leaving the two of us alone.
After there was nothing left in my stomach to let out, I leaned my back against Brian's chest and closed my eyes tightly, trying to make the tears go away.
”Are you okay?” Brian whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his body.
”No,” I cried as tears streamed down my face.
”What's wrong, Sophia? Why are you crying?”
”What do you think is wrong? Everything!”
Okay, so, maybe I was being a little overdramatic but I put all the blame on the alcohol.
”Sophia... Why do I have a feeling that this has something to do with me getting back together with Michelle?” Brian spoke quietly.
”I love you and you don't love me and there's nothing worse than that!” I cried and tried to pull my body away from Brian.
I managed to get up on my knees but then fell facefirst into my own puke. I started crying harder and felt as Brian pulled me up to my feet. He started walking me into the house without saying a word.
Brian walked me into a bathroom and started undressing me while I sobbed. A few moments later I was completely naked and Brian turned on the shower before pushing me under the cold water. I could barely stay on two feet so I sat down on the cold floor and sobbed into my hands.
I was completely broken. I didn't know how to control my body or mind anymore. All I could do was cry and be heartbroken. I felt pathetic but at the same time, the time had to come some day. I had been trying to bury my feelings and force them away and they ended up coming back a lot stronger.
I felt Brian's hands on my bare skin as he pulled me up. I opened my puffy eyes and saw him standing in front of me. His clothes got wet because of the pouring water but he didn't seem to mind. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
”I'm sorry,” he whispered, ”I'm sorry for hurting you so much, Sophia.”
”No you're not,” I cried, ”If you were, you would try to make things better.”
”There's nothing I can do,” he told me. I didn't say anything to that.
He brushed my hair gently as the cold water ran down my body. I buried my face into his chest and tried to stop crying and calm down.
”Let's get you to bed,” Brian told me after a moment.
He turned off the shower and grabbed a towel from a closet before wrapping it around me. I was shivering because of the cold air and tried to pull the towel around my body more tightly.
Brian grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards Jimmy's bedroom. We reached the bed and he helped me get under the blanket. I was still shivering badly and after a moment, Brian took off his shoes and laid down next to me on the bed. He wrapped me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.
”You shouldn't have let me fall in love with you,” I cried and sniffled against his neck.
”I'm sorry,” he whispered, ”I really am. You deserve the best and I can't give you that.”
”But we were meant to be together...”
”Maybe but things went differently and here we are. I'm going to be happy with Michelle. I have to forget the past and focus on the future.”
”I want you,” I sobbed and rubbed my eyes with my hands.
”I know, I know,” he sighed deeply.
”Can't we... Can you stay the night with me?” I whispered and sniffled.
I pulled my head slightly away from his chest and looked at his face. He was looking at me carefully, knowing that I didn't only want him to stay with me but I also wanted to have sex. I wanted him, all of him.
”Sophia...”
”Please, Brian, do it for me. I need you so much,” I whispered. He sighed and bit his lip, not knowing what to do.
”If you say no to me now, it's going to be over. For good. I swear, I won't bother you anymore,” I told him.
”You're drunk, Sophia, you have no idea what you're saying. You don't mean what you say.”
”I do,” I nodded, ”This is the most serious I have ever been. You're holding my future in your hands. It's completely up to you what's going to happen.”
”I'm not having this conversation with you, not now. Let's talk about this tomorrow,” he told me and closed his eyes.
”I will never forgive you if you say no to me,” I whispered.
”You're forcing me to cheat on my wife, Sophia, and that's not okay,” he told me, ”You're not like that so please, please just stop before it's too late.”
”Fine. Maybe I'll just leave,” I muttered and tried to climb out of the bed. I ended up stumbling over my own feet and fell onto the floor, noticing that my towel had fallen off and I was completely naked, laying on the floor.
”Sophia, go to sleep,” Brian muttered quietly, ”You're going to be embarrassed in the morning.”
”Don't tell me what to do,” I exclaimed, ”You don't get to do that. You don't give a shit about me so stop acting like you care!”
”I do care about you, okay? I really fucking like you, why is that so hard to understand?” Now it was Brian who was shouting at me.
”I'm not going to sleep with you but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't care about you! I know that this is really hard for you because you're such a nice girl and you deserve nothing but the best, but come on! You could think about me for a second, too!”
”But you're all I ever think about!”
”That's not what I meant,” he mumbled and rubbed his face with his hands, ”You love me – I get that. But I'm in a relationship with Michelle. We're married, okay? Understood?”
”You don't have to rub that in my face,” I muttered.
”You just don't seem to understand it.”
”What do I have to do to make you love me? Do I have to make you, like, jealous?”
”Don't even try to make me fall in love with you, Soph. Stop trying to ruin my marriage.”
”But I want you to love me!”
”Don't be selfish. Why are we even fighting now? When we were together, we never fought about anything,” he muttered.
”Because fighting is stupid!”
”Then why are we fighting now, Sophia? Why, if it's so stupid?”
”Maybe I want to fight with somebody! Nobody ever fights with me and that's frustrating!” I screamed, ”Maybe I'm tired of being so damn nice to everybody. Maybe I want people to hate me, maybe I'm tired of always pleasing everybody!”
Before Brian could say anything, the door opened and I saw Jimmy standing in the doorway.
”What the hell is going on in here?” he exclaimed, looking at the both of us.
Then he noticed that I was completely naked on the floor and he furrowed his eyebrows.
”Sophia? Is everything alright?” he asked me.
”No! I want to go home,” I muttered.
”I'll take you home,” Brian said.
”No!” I exclaimed, ”You're not taking me anywhere if you don't even want me!”
”You're acting like an idiot,” he muttered to me, ”Jimmy, please, tell her to get in bed and go to sleep.”
”Soph, maybe you should do as he says,” Jimmy nodded, ”You're drunk and acting crazy.”
”No!” I exclaimed once again before getting up on my feet.
I started wandering to the doorway and pushed Jimmy out of my way.
”Where the hell are you going?” Brian shouted after me but I ignored him completely.
I made my way down the stairs, stumbling every once in a while, and finally got to the front door. I opened it and stepped out to the freezing air, not realizing that I was naked.
”Don't you think this was a good idea? After all?” Jimmy asked me with his mouth full of pizza.
I nodded and swallowed a mouthful of food before finishing my fifth glass of wine. Jimmy filled my glass again and I thanked him. To be honest with you, I didn't care about the fact that I was going to be shit-faced by the end of the night. I had only been there for an hour but the wine was starting to work its magic. The whole world seemed to be a lot happier place, thanks to the alcohol.
”Hopefully this will cheer me up,” I said and nodded.
”Do you want to talk about Brian?”
”No,” I shook my head, ”I'm trying my best to get him out of my mind.”
”Well, maybe that's a good thing. But I'm sure that he didn't mean to hurt you, Soph,” Jimmy told me. I nodded.
”I know. I know him and I know he doesn't like hurting people.”
We drank at least three bottles of wine and a lot of beer and let me tell you, that by the end of the night, I was really drunk and not in a good way. I had started thinking about Brian again and I couldn't help but get really sad again.
Jimmy and I sat on his backyard, staring into the surrounding darkness and just talking about everything. Our conversation had turned to Brian and I shed a few tears as I thought about him.
”I love him so much,” I admitted with a sigh, ”It hurts me to know that he'd rather be with his wife.”
”Well... He was with her first.”
”He was with me first,” I said, ”I was his first, he was my first. I've given my all to him and yet he can't be with me.”
”Sophia... You're a very smart girl but you don't seem to understand that the two of them are now married. They expect to have a future together.”
”Whose side are you on, Jimmy?” I asked him and narrowed my eyes as I looked at him.
”I'm not on anybody's side,” he told me, ”Okay?”
”Whatever.”
”Don't get mad at me, Sophia.”
”I'm not mad at you. I'm only mad at Brian for breaking my heart again,” I mumbled.
”Does he know how you feel about all this?” Jimmy asked me.
”Probably not, no. I don't think he even cares.”
”I know you mean a lot to him,” he said quietly.
I nodded and all of a sudden felt the sudden urge to throw up. Since we were outside already, I saw no point in going back inside and finding a bathroom. So I leaned slightly to my side and threw up.
Jimmy rushed to hold my hair back as I emptied my stomach. After finishing, I took deep breaths in and leaned my back against Jimmy's chest.
”Are you okay?” Jimmy whispered quietly. I grimaced and shook my head.
”No,” I mumbled, ”I want Brian.”
”Do you want me to call him?”
”No... Yes.”
Jimmy pulled out his phone and called Brian.
While waiting for him to arrive, I passed out against Jimmy's chest. Jimmy shook me awake when Brian arrived and it took me a moment to realize what was going on. I looked to my side and saw Brian and all of a sudden started throwing up again. I felt as Jimmy pulled his body away from me and suddenly it was Brian who was holding me. I watched as Jimmy walked inside and closed the door, leaving the two of us alone.
After there was nothing left in my stomach to let out, I leaned my back against Brian's chest and closed my eyes tightly, trying to make the tears go away.
”Are you okay?” Brian whispered into my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his body.
”No,” I cried as tears streamed down my face.
”What's wrong, Sophia? Why are you crying?”
”What do you think is wrong? Everything!”
Okay, so, maybe I was being a little overdramatic but I put all the blame on the alcohol.
”Sophia... Why do I have a feeling that this has something to do with me getting back together with Michelle?” Brian spoke quietly.
”I love you and you don't love me and there's nothing worse than that!” I cried and tried to pull my body away from Brian.
I managed to get up on my knees but then fell facefirst into my own puke. I started crying harder and felt as Brian pulled me up to my feet. He started walking me into the house without saying a word.
Brian walked me into a bathroom and started undressing me while I sobbed. A few moments later I was completely naked and Brian turned on the shower before pushing me under the cold water. I could barely stay on two feet so I sat down on the cold floor and sobbed into my hands.
I was completely broken. I didn't know how to control my body or mind anymore. All I could do was cry and be heartbroken. I felt pathetic but at the same time, the time had to come some day. I had been trying to bury my feelings and force them away and they ended up coming back a lot stronger.
I felt Brian's hands on my bare skin as he pulled me up. I opened my puffy eyes and saw him standing in front of me. His clothes got wet because of the pouring water but he didn't seem to mind. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.
”I'm sorry,” he whispered, ”I'm sorry for hurting you so much, Sophia.”
”No you're not,” I cried, ”If you were, you would try to make things better.”
”There's nothing I can do,” he told me. I didn't say anything to that.
He brushed my hair gently as the cold water ran down my body. I buried my face into his chest and tried to stop crying and calm down.
”Let's get you to bed,” Brian told me after a moment.
He turned off the shower and grabbed a towel from a closet before wrapping it around me. I was shivering because of the cold air and tried to pull the towel around my body more tightly.
Brian grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards Jimmy's bedroom. We reached the bed and he helped me get under the blanket. I was still shivering badly and after a moment, Brian took off his shoes and laid down next to me on the bed. He wrapped me into his arms and kissed the top of my head.
”You shouldn't have let me fall in love with you,” I cried and sniffled against his neck.
”I'm sorry,” he whispered, ”I really am. You deserve the best and I can't give you that.”
”But we were meant to be together...”
”Maybe but things went differently and here we are. I'm going to be happy with Michelle. I have to forget the past and focus on the future.”
”I want you,” I sobbed and rubbed my eyes with my hands.
”I know, I know,” he sighed deeply.
”Can't we... Can you stay the night with me?” I whispered and sniffled.
I pulled my head slightly away from his chest and looked at his face. He was looking at me carefully, knowing that I didn't only want him to stay with me but I also wanted to have sex. I wanted him, all of him.
”Sophia...”
”Please, Brian, do it for me. I need you so much,” I whispered. He sighed and bit his lip, not knowing what to do.
”If you say no to me now, it's going to be over. For good. I swear, I won't bother you anymore,” I told him.
”You're drunk, Sophia, you have no idea what you're saying. You don't mean what you say.”
”I do,” I nodded, ”This is the most serious I have ever been. You're holding my future in your hands. It's completely up to you what's going to happen.”
”I'm not having this conversation with you, not now. Let's talk about this tomorrow,” he told me and closed his eyes.
”I will never forgive you if you say no to me,” I whispered.
”You're forcing me to cheat on my wife, Sophia, and that's not okay,” he told me, ”You're not like that so please, please just stop before it's too late.”
”Fine. Maybe I'll just leave,” I muttered and tried to climb out of the bed. I ended up stumbling over my own feet and fell onto the floor, noticing that my towel had fallen off and I was completely naked, laying on the floor.
”Sophia, go to sleep,” Brian muttered quietly, ”You're going to be embarrassed in the morning.”
”Don't tell me what to do,” I exclaimed, ”You don't get to do that. You don't give a shit about me so stop acting like you care!”
”I do care about you, okay? I really fucking like you, why is that so hard to understand?” Now it was Brian who was shouting at me.
”I'm not going to sleep with you but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't care about you! I know that this is really hard for you because you're such a nice girl and you deserve nothing but the best, but come on! You could think about me for a second, too!”
”But you're all I ever think about!”
”That's not what I meant,” he mumbled and rubbed his face with his hands, ”You love me – I get that. But I'm in a relationship with Michelle. We're married, okay? Understood?”
”You don't have to rub that in my face,” I muttered.
”You just don't seem to understand it.”
”What do I have to do to make you love me? Do I have to make you, like, jealous?”
”Don't even try to make me fall in love with you, Soph. Stop trying to ruin my marriage.”
”But I want you to love me!”
”Don't be selfish. Why are we even fighting now? When we were together, we never fought about anything,” he muttered.
”Because fighting is stupid!”
”Then why are we fighting now, Sophia? Why, if it's so stupid?”
”Maybe I want to fight with somebody! Nobody ever fights with me and that's frustrating!” I screamed, ”Maybe I'm tired of being so damn nice to everybody. Maybe I want people to hate me, maybe I'm tired of always pleasing everybody!”
Before Brian could say anything, the door opened and I saw Jimmy standing in the doorway.
”What the hell is going on in here?” he exclaimed, looking at the both of us.
Then he noticed that I was completely naked on the floor and he furrowed his eyebrows.
”Sophia? Is everything alright?” he asked me.
”No! I want to go home,” I muttered.
”I'll take you home,” Brian said.
”No!” I exclaimed, ”You're not taking me anywhere if you don't even want me!”
”You're acting like an idiot,” he muttered to me, ”Jimmy, please, tell her to get in bed and go to sleep.”
”Soph, maybe you should do as he says,” Jimmy nodded, ”You're drunk and acting crazy.”
”No!” I exclaimed once again before getting up on my feet.
I started wandering to the doorway and pushed Jimmy out of my way.
”Where the hell are you going?” Brian shouted after me but I ignored him completely.
I made my way down the stairs, stumbling every once in a while, and finally got to the front door. I opened it and stepped out to the freezing air, not realizing that I was naked.
You made me cry!:(:(:(
I loved the story, right from the first chapter. Sofia and Brian's first time, them separating, Brian marrying Michelle, Jimmy having feelings for Sophia, Sophia falling for Brian, Brian getting a divorce and marrying Sophia, the couple losing their child, and finally separating.
Loved it! But ending was really sad:(
10/25/15