Trashed and Scattered

Peyton and Brian spent the day far from the watchful eye of Inspector Natalie. They busied themselves in the village, losing time and themselves in each other. The haughty blight of the morning was remedied with ease by a large lunch and good conversation. They kept topics far from anything related to Jimmy or Natalie.
They strolled through the tiny town, shopping bags in hand. Peyton was captivated by the pain-staking beauty of Big Bear and a part of her hoped she’d die there. It seemed like a happy place to go and given the awkwardness she’d inevitably return to, it seemed a good time too.
Brian popped his trunk, tossing his bags carelessly inside. Peyton was a bit more docile in her approach, marveling at the way the trees seemed to roll around them eternally. Pulling from her distraction long enough to place her bags down, she was back at the fixation on nature within seconds.
“You’re cute when you’re introspective,” Brian smirked over at her, leaning his arms against the roof of his car.
She rolled her eyes playfully, “I was just thinking about what a gorgeous painting this would make.”
“You should paint it then,” he shrugged.
“Maybe when we get back to the city,” she nodded. “For now, I’d rather just enjoy it.”
Brian rounded the back of the car, stalking Peyton carefully. She hardly seemed to notice his approach until he had his arms wrapped around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder. Her hands found his intuitively, and she leaned against him with a content sigh.
Somewhere in the chaotic beauty, Peyton had accidentally stumbled into happiness. The looming departure in her future hung around like a neon sign, proudly illuminating the exit. She casually slipped her blinders on.
“Come on, Beautiful,” Brian whispered quietly, planting a quick but sweet kiss on her cheek. “We should get back.”
Peyton was less than enthused to return to Natalie’s torture chamber. She was sure there would be a landfill of disposable questions thrown her way followed by skeptical glances and audible scoffs. The atmosphere had shifted rapidly from uncomfortable to unbearable in a matter of hours. Peyton could only hope that Jimmy was smoothing it over in her temporary absence.
They drove quietly away from the small town, bidding farewell to their safe haven. The radio cranked out dismal chords to fill the blank spaces where their minds went round.
“What kind of shit do you think Natalie’s going to drudge up tonight?” Peyton finally spoke, moving her gaze from the passing trees to Brian’s constancy.
He half-laughed, “Hopefully none. I think last night was enough to last forever.”
“That whole thing was weird,” Peyton nodded, the awkward chill creeping back into her joints.
Brian shrugged, “Not really. I saw it coming a mile away.”
“Really?” she scoffed. “You predicted Natalie would go on some crazy witch hunt?”
“No,” he chuckled. “The Jimmy part of the evening. I told you Lexi was everything to him. It was only a matter of time until a pissing contest went down.”
“Is that what that was?” Peyton smirked.
Brian nodded with a smug satisfaction, “I may not know a lot of shit, but I do know Jimmy.”
“And yet,” Peyton pondered aloud. “Despite this so-called pissing contest, here we are.”
Brian shrugged, “You said nothing was going on. I like to take people at face value.”
It was a conscious quality that Peyton admired. Although she hadn’t been entirely forthcoming with honesty, she hadn’t lied. There was nothing going on with Jimmy. Not anymore. She reached across to his lap and tangled his fingers into hers. He glanced over at her quickly, flashing a million dollar smile.
“I was thinking of a tree,” Peyton said then. “For your arm.”
“A tree,” he repeated whimsically.
She nodded, “Yes. A spooky tree. To fit in with your monster theme.”
Brian considered arguing with her about the vast difference between nature and monsters but decidedly quickly that sometimes they were interchangeable. Peyton was an accomplished artist and he didn’t find much purpose in questioning her muses.
“Draft it up,” he told her simply. “I’m willing to entertain whatever ideas that pretty head of yours comes up with.”
She smiled, squeezing his hand just a little. It was unmistakably reassuring to find solace in his touch. Sometimes a little human connection could go a long way in repairing the damage others had inflicted. Brian’s touch was the ultimate heroin, flushing it’s way through her system with a dizzying high.
“Tell me,” Brian thought aloud after a few moments of silence had come and gone, “what’s with the Disney villain on your arm?”
Peyton tilted her head, “What?”
He laughed, “That’s, uh...Shit, I can’t remember.”
“Maleficent,” Peyton volunteered with a cheeky grin.
“Yeah!” Brian exclaimed, bumping his fist against the steering wheel.
Peyton laughed quietly at his enthusiasm.
“What about her?”
“Why’d you get her?” he asked curiously.
Peyton cocked a brow, “Why’d you get an arm full of monsters?”
He let his doe eyes drift over to her challenging gaze and met her grin point for point.
“Fair enough,” he conceded.
Peyton was far more forthcoming than Brian; entirely less guarded when it came to motives for her art. She found no need in keeping secrets about a passion so fierce.
“I’ve been wildly fascinated with her since I was a kid,” she told him. “I must have watched Sleeping Beauty seven million times before I was ten.”
Brian’s mind immediately snapped to Jimmy. Any talk of Peyton’s childhood inevitably led him to the same point over and over again without fail. He did his best to rein in the immense jealousy that flooded through him. Jimmy was part of Peyton’s past, whether Brian liked it or not. If he wanted to get close to her, he knew he’d have to make peace with it. Some things, though, are easier said than done.
“Joanna says that it’s because of my mother,” she continued, aware of but unwilling to acknowledge Brian’s sudden tensing, “But it’s not.”
Brian shook away the visual of his blue eyed best friend, “So what is it then?”
“It’s about power,” Peyton replied simply.
She’d given years of thought to her undying admiration for a woman perceived by millions to be a villain. And a villain she was, there was no denying such a claim. But she was also fierce in her convictions and stronger than anyone Peyton had known. She admired it, despite its poorly nurtured motives.
“She fights to the bitter end for what she wants,” Peyton continued breezily. “The woman transforms herself into a fucking dragon.”
Brian laughed with the green eyed beauty to his right.
Peyton sighed a little, sinking into the seat as she moved her gaze to the world flying by her window, “I want to be a dragon.”
Brian gave her hand a squeeze, “You are.”
“You don’t know that,” Peyton argued playfully.
“Sure I do,” he shrugged. “Anyone that’s talked to you for more than one second would know. You’re a force to be reckoned with, Peyton. And one in a fucking million.”
Her cold heart thudded into a dull life.
“Don’t be cute at me,” Peyton half-laughed.
Brian grinned, “Or what?”
“Or I might just fall for you,” she retorted with a mischievous laugh.
He snickered, “In that case, have I told you lately how beautiful you are?”
She laughed, “Stop.”
Brian took refuge in Peyton’s Maleficent explanation. He’d half-expected the reasonings to lay somewhere embedded in Jimmy and the life they’d shared. He was relieved to find something so boldly painted into her skin was a reflection of herself.
A tinge of guilt ruptured inside Peyton’s glee. As Brian released his grip on her to switch over to a new song, the disconnect shed light on yet another deception. An act of power or perhaps manipulation, Peyton knew the entirety of the truth would have Brian pulling away for longer than a song change.
Sure, she admired the character. She was in awe of everything Maleficent was; many things she aspired to be herself.
But she’d conveniently left out that trajectory of her goal. She wasn’t longing to be a dragon. She wasn’t longing for control.
She’d already been those things.
No. As Peyton ran her fingers over her inked skin, her mind wandered back to that bedroom. Lit only by the glow of her wild fascination, Peyton had known the strength of the world. She didn’t need to be Maleficent because she had Maleficent.
And she was tied up, like the proper villain she was, inside that blue eyed boy pulling wings from her back.
Brian pulled Peyton’s hand back into his, offering a content smile. She smiled back, pushing the past away.
Motives could surely change. Maybe she could find a way to replace meanings. Maybe she could awaken one day to find everything she’d constructed really meant nothing. One day she could open her eyes to find a new life, and not the one she’d left behind. Maybe she could reinvent herself.
Or maybe she’d always be asleep.

Notes

Short chapter...But important.

xx