Trashed and Scattered

After six insistent texts from Joanna asking where her picture of Brian was, Peyton couldn’t ignore her anymore. She glanced over at Brian, who seemed to be lost in his own little world as he navigated the ever-winding roads leading them to their weekend retreat. The closer they got, the more anxious Peyton became. She was prepared, though, to fight like hell to hide her lack of confidence. No one ever had to know when and if Peyton was feeling less than okay. That was her own cross to bear, and she preferred to bare it alone.
“Brian?” Peyton squeaked from the passenger seat.
His energy revived at the sound of pleasant disruption. He shifted his gaze from the road to hers and prompted a response with the simple rise of his brows.
“I know this is an insanely weird thing to ask,” Peyton offered as a foreword. “But…Can I take your picture?”
“What?” he laughed nervously. “For what?”
Peyton groaned wildly, “Joanna.”
Brian grinned, “And what does Joanna want with my picture?”
“To assess your quality,” she smirked. “Her words, not mine.”
“I’ll do you one better,” Brian replied simply, pulling the car over onto the shoulder of the desolate road.
Peyton figured they couldn’t be far off from their destination; they’d passed the sign for Big Bear ages ago and had abandoned the interstate shortly after. They’d been driving down a road that had grown quickly rugged. As they bore on, the population seemed to dwindle into wilderness.
Once Brian was satisfied with his stop, he slammed the car into park and grinned over at the brunette next to him. She shifted awkwardly in her seat, unsure what the newfound hold up was about.
“Well come on,” he encouraged, leaning into the center of the car. “We’ll get one of the two of us.”
Peyton furrowed her brows, “That’s…kind of adorable.”
“A keepsake for our first little road trip together,” he snickered, wiggling his eyebrows at her.
“Something to remember a simpler time by,” she added with a laugh. “You know, before we get sick to death of each other and end up murdering one another.”
He nodded once, “Exactly.”
“I’m game,” she grinned, leaning in until her cheek was pressed tight against Brian’s.
She fumbled with her phone, the camera aspect had always eluded her. It was difficult to get good angles when you couldn’t see what you were taking a picture of. Joanna was the ultimate phone-photographer.
Nevertheless, Peyton snapped a couple of their smiling faces—and one of her in shock as Brian pressed his lips against her cheek. She felt her face flood with embarrassment as the surprise slipped away.
“To make it adorable,” Brian smirked at her, pulling himself back to his own half of the car.
“Mission accomplished,” Peyton muttered, still trying to hide her flustered cheeks.
Brian grinned to himself, getting a real kick out of sparking genuine reaction in Peyton. Satisfied with his latest move, he pulled the car back onto the road and proceeded through the town.
To: Jo
Here you go, creeper.
She sent off a picture, selfishly reserving the impromptu pose Brian had cast onto her. She found herself smiling as she lingered over it, admiring how pleasant of a surprise her face had been cloaked in. Curious of reality, she glanced over at Brian to find she was still donning that same smile. There was something to it, she’d thought. Brian had the most curious way of pulling her out from her shell; most of the time, without her really noticing he was doing it. There was an ease that came with Brian and Peyton was greedy with its specialty. She liked the way it soothed her; the way it calmed her troubled soul. There was no need for fighting around Brian—around him, she was okay.
After a little while longer, Brian finally turned up a narrow road. He leaned forward, ducking under the roof of the car to get a better perspective. He nodded to himself, leaning all the way back into his seat once more as he picked the pace up with confidence.
“Ready?” Brian asked just as he rounded the last bend.
Peyton laughed, “Not really…but it’s probably a little late to back out now.”
He looked over at her, reading the nervousness painted along her delicate features. Call it instinct or lack of control, Brian reached out and tucked her hand into his. She stared down at the gesture quickly before meeting his comforting gaze. To his relief, she smiled, tightening her grip from beneath his fingers.
“They’re all great people,” he assured her as he pushed his focus back to the dust flying out from beneath the tires. “And if all else fails, at least you have Jimmy there.”
“Right,” Peyton mumbled. “Jimmy.”
The road opened up to expose a gigantic cabin stretching far up into the clouds. Peyton was intimidated by its size—and the beauty drenching the world just behind it.
“Shit,” Peyton scoffed at the size of the whole thing.
Brian laughed, “Yeah, we don’t do Big Bear small…Natalie picked the cabin this time. So…I expected it to be ridiculous. I’m not disappointed.”
Peyton tried to smile, watching Brian as he moved in next to a fleet of parked cars.
“What’s Natalie like?” she asked, feigning curiosity in place of jealousy. “Is she nice?”
Brian nodded, “Yeah, she’s great. I mean…she has her faults like anyone. But she’s nice. She’ll be good to you this weekend, don’t worry. She’s like the mother hen.”
“I don’t need a mother hen,” Peyton laughed.
“She has a weird sense of humor,” Brian added, sliding the shifter into park position. “So, don’t let that get to you.”
“You mean like when she discounted who I was?” Peyton asked with a scowl. “That kind of sense of humor?”
Brian nodded, “That’s the one.”
“I’ll try not to be so sensitive this time,” Peyton smiled weakly.
He shrugged, squeezing her hand tightly once more before pulling it back, “I’ve got your back, Peyton. If you need to get away from them, just say the word. I’ll abandon those fuckers for you at the drop of a hat.”
“I’m going to hold you to that,” she grinned.
“Good. I hope you do,” he grinned back.
Matt came trudging down the giant staircase that flowed from the top tier deck down to the ground. He waved over at the newcomers happily, making moves to close the gap between himself and them. With a deep breath and a deeper exhale, Peyton pushed herself out into the wilderness and out from the safety of Brian’s company.
“Hey guys!” Matt greeted happily, headed straight for the trunk of the car where Brian was already pulling bags out.
“Are we last?” Brian asked, tossing his bag over his shoulder.
Matt shook his head, “It’s just me, Jim, and Nat so far.”
“I beat Vengeance!” Brian hollered excitedly, fist pumping for dramatic effect.
Peyton lingered awkwardly outside their little group, trying to seem so focused on the nature that no one noticed she was simply uncomfortable. Her eyes narrowed on the trees, running along each and every leaf that hung from them. The colours, alone, were breathtaking. A soft breeze rumbled through the branches, humming a tune designed just for Peyton.
“How was the drive, Lexi?” Matt asked curiously, wincing a little as he tripped over her former name. “Peyton. Sorry.”
“All good,” she waved, moving her focus from the beauty of Big Bear to Matt’s beauty. “The drive was fine. We didn’t die, so…”
“Why would we die?” Brian demanded, feigning offence.
She laughed, “You’re a bit reckless.”
“Ho!” Matt cheered, nudging Brian’s chest with his elbow. “See? I’m not the only one that thinks you’re a bad fucking driver, Gates!”
“I didn’t say bad,” Peyton defended sheepishly. “I said reckless.”
Brian grumbled, “I’m not reckless.”
“It’s okay, buddy,” Matt consoled him with a hearty chuckle. “We’ll get you signed up for driving lessons before you total your pretty little car.”
Brian laughed, giving his eyes a pointed roll. He grabbed Peyton’s bag and tossed it over his shoulder to mingle with his own bag. She reached out, offering to take it from him, but Brian protested.
“You grab all the snacks,” Brian instructed her. “We have to sneak those in without Jimmy noticing or he’ll fucking creep around in the middle of the night to take them.”
“He’s a bloodhound,” Matt agreed with a grim nod.
Peyton giggled, “I’m all over it.”
The men waited for her as she collected all of their snacks, some eaten and some still intact. When she finally emerged from the car, bags of food in hand, Matt gave a proud sort of smile.
“We were hungry,” Brian laughed knowingly, pushing at Matt’s shoulder to get him moving.
The three made their way in through the main door, tucked into a wall lined with endless shrubberies. From the second she stepped inside, Peyton was blown away. The lakefront home was absolutely stunning—the ceilings larger than life. Matt was making small talk about a bird he’d seen on the roof when he’d pulled in. It was a dreary story that Peyton had immediately tuned out—and judging by Brian’s glazed eyes, he’d checked out too.
They headed up into the mammoth open concept kitchen/living room combo. The windows stretched from floor to ceiling, flooding the room in sunlight. The view was mesmerizing, until Peyton’s stare landed on Jimmy and Natalie sharing a particularly sweet moment. Natalie giggled with affection, swatting Jimmy’s hands away as he grinned from ear to ear. Peyton could have vomited.
Natalie’s eyes lit up as she caught sight of the new additions to their group. She giddily rounded the corner of the kitchen island, pushing herself into the personal space of Peyton in particular.
“You guys made it!” she beamed.
Brian grunted, “Apparently no thanks to my reckless driving.”
Peyton chuckled quietly, giving her head a shake.
“Since you guys beat Johnny and Crys, I guess you get your pick of the bedrooms!”
“I took the shared room with shithead Zach,” Matt griped. “It has bunk beds.”
Brian laughed, “I hope you, at least, took the top bunk.”
“Of course, I took the top fucking bunk,” Matt replied seriously.
“Anyway,” Natalie giggled, grabbing at Peyton’s arm.
When Peyton jumped, Natalie was genuine shocked. She went to apologize, unsure what exactly she’d done wrong, but Jimmy shouted from the kitchen before she’d had the chance.
“Don’t touch her! She hates it!”
Peyton sunk into embarrassment like an old friend’s arms.
“Sorry,” she grumbled from the depths of her humiliation.
Natalie shook her head, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“She’s jumpy,” Brian smirked. “You have to warn her when you’re going to make physical contact.”
Peyton felt a smile combat the frown permanently etched into her face, “That’s only half-true.”
“That’s right,” Brian beamed smugly. “She never jumps when I touch her.”
Jimmy caught the sentiment in his grit teeth. It was a good thing he was out of ear shot of the group, for the scoff that escaped from the deepest recesses of his throat would have made for serious conversation.
“Brian,” Peyton groaned, sinking further into the embarrassment that seemed to now consume her.
He laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as the bags tumbled into the back of her leg. She shot him a warning glance as he promptly rectified the situation.
“You guys are too cute,” Natalie gushed.
“Aren’t we?” Brian grinned, casting a pointed look in his leering best friend’s direction.
Jimmy shrugged at him, throwing his hands into the air as if to wash them of the situation completely. He returned to his lunch-preparing duties, ridding the image of Brian and Peyton completely from his mind.
“Bedrooms are this way,” Natalie said as she led Brian and Peyton down a long hallway.
When they reached the end where the walls branched off into two opposing directions, Natalie pointed lazily.
“We’re down there,” she explained. “Matt and Zach too. So, there are two bedrooms left this way. One has a view that is sublime.”
Brian leaned into Peyton’s ear, whispering through his laugh, “Hear that? Sublime.”
Peyton snickered quietly, rolling her eyes playfully at the guitarist.
“I’ll let you guys do your thing,” Natalie smiled. “We’re making lunch if you’re hungry.”
“I’m always hungry,” Brian replied casually.
She giggled, “Ain’t that the truth.”
With that terrible snippet of English, Natalie slipped back into her life. Brian and Peyton inspected both bedrooms from a glance, immediately choosing the one with the sublime view. As Brian tossed their bags against the dresser, Peyton planted herself in front of the window. The trees shimmied in the wind, each branch stretching further to the heavens than the last. She’d never seen anything quite so hypnotic.
“Have you been to Big Bear before?” Brian asked curiously, fondly making a mental painting of her beauty reflected in the sunlight.
She shook her head solemnly, “My dad always said he’d take me…But he never did.”
Brian frowned, “Well…At least you get to see it now.”
Peyton nodded, her eyes still fixed to the limbs of the trees outside, “Yeah.”
To her surprise, Brian’s hands snaked around her waist. Further surprising her, but not him, she didn’t flinch at all. He rested his chin against her shoulder, basking in the same brilliance that had her mind in a daze. He’d been to Big Bear more times than he could count, it had become a bit of a ritual within their group. But this time felt strangely like the first, like life seen through new lenses.
“Thanks for coming,” Brian said quietly, rippling goosebumps across Peyton’s skin.
She smiled, looking at him from the corners of her eyes, “Thanks for inviting me.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, adoring the way the birds would flutter their wings against the breeze. A hurricane rolled in as two cars pulled furiously into the yard.
“The cavalry has arrived,” he noted with a laugh, watching as Zach hopped out from his car and started making wild hand gestures at the other car.
Johnny appeared, making equally wild hand gestures in return. They each pointed at the road and then resorted to even wilder hand gestures.
“They race,” Brian explained halfheartedly, pulling himself back from Peyton.
“Not such graceful losers, huh?” Peyton noted amusedly.
Brian snickered, “No graceful winners here either.”
Peyton smiled, taking in the view for exactly what it was. Watching close friends argue about trivial nonsense made her long for her own best friend. It felt like an eternity since she’d argued with Joanna about the disappearance of the last of the cereal or heard Joanna shout about how Peyton obviously didn’t know how to change the toilet paper roll. That one was usually accompanied by a dramatic demonstration. It never failed in making Peyton laugh, which would only irritate Joanna more.
“So,” Brian spoke again. “I say we eat some food and then we go check out the lake. Maybe go for a swim or something.”
“I can get into a swim,” Peyton agreed nonchalantly, deciding quickly to be up for whatever instead of basking in her discomfort.
It was always a perilous thing to join into a fully-formed group. You would be an outsider for far longer than necessary, pitied with small talk and invasive questioning designed to make you somehow more comfortable—but always failing to hit the mark. Peyton was not looking forward to the trivia round of the weekend.
But she could be at ease so long as Brian was by her side. So, anything Brian wanted to get up to, Peyton found no reason to decline. He could distract her from Jimmy, too; a bonus, no doubt.
“Natalie’s a pretty decent cook,” Brian informed Peyton, as if the sentiment might mean something.
Peyton forced a smile, “Perfect.”
“Can you cook?” he asked curiously.
“I can make some mean macaroni and cheese,” Peyton grinned. “But that’s about where my skills start and stop.”
Brian smiled, “I love macaroni and cheese.”
“Well then, I guess we’ll have the happiest marriage,” Peyton laughed, finally slipping back from the window.
“I’m sure that will be the next step in our fictitious relationship,” Brian played along happily. “It only took one afternoon for us to be a couple…So, we’ll be married by…”
“This afternoon,” Peyton laughed.
Brian nodded along, grinning from ear to ear, “What a beautiful wedding it will be.”
“Come on, boyfriend,” Peyton snickered, memorizing the feel of Brian’s laugh against her burdened soul. “Let’s go get you fed.”
Brian would never admit it, but he loved the sound of that word hanging off her lips. The word itself was juvenile and, in his case, entirely useless. But drenched in Peyton’s voice, it was an aphrodisiac.
This weekend, Brian figured, would be the perfect opportunity to judge Jimmy’s blessing’s sincerity. He was curious to see the two interact in a setting where Jimmy couldn’t suddenly abandon the group.
They were all stuck together for the next three days, for better or for worse.

Notes

I don't typically make mention of shit like this, but I've seen some disheartening shit that I feel someone should address. So, prepare for a tangent. I apologize in advance haha

I've noticed that someone's gone on a fucking rampage of down-voting every single story on the front page. Every. Single. One.

Given that most of my stories are mammoth in size, I find it a bit strange that someone can grant me a 1 on this story in a matter of seconds from down-voting Just Before You Go, as well. That's a rate of speed reading that even I could never hope to accomplish! Kudos to you, Lightning McQueen!

That said, everyone is entitled to their opinions and if you don't like my writing style or my plots, that's totally fine. No harm, no foul. I can appreciate that not everyone will love the madness your mind conjures up.

But here's the thing.

If you don't like something, perhaps we just leave it alone. What do you seriously get out of shitting all over someone's rating? These are stories people have labored over and dared to share with the world. What are you getting out of telling them it isn't good enough? What does that offer to your life? Maybe the ratings don't mean anything to some of us, but to others I know that it hits them right in the soul.

This community is typically so supportive and kind...so, to go out of your way to purposefully make someone feel like shit doesn't sit well with me. It's a petty thing to do and it's one that I, myself, have never done. I don't see the point in making someone feel lesser or poorly. I'd rather spend my time building up other writers and encouraging them while they put themselves out there for the world to see. If I don't like a story, I don't read it. I don't leave hateful shit and I have never even considered down-voting. But maybe that's just me.

Anyway, I'm sorry for going on a rant. Those are my two cents on the matter. If you don't enjoy my stories, by all means don't read them. I won't take it personally--I totally get it!

But unless you've read through my mammoth amount of fiction, I'm not sure you get to make a judgement call on their quality.

Let's all be supportive. Be kind and encouraging. Don't be hateful or spiteful or petty. It's ridiculous.

To all the stories that got hit by the down-voting spree, I fucking see you. And I love your shit. Keep doing you. We'll wave our 10s goodbye together.

Sidenote: Just Before You Go is rearing to a close and I thought I'd finish it strong with 18 votes at 10. So, to whoever took that away from me after 104 chapters, thank you. I really appreciate the sentiment.

Be fucking kind to one another.

xx