Trashed and Scattered

Peyton and Brian had created enough fun for themselves that they’d waited out the sun. They were engaged in the world’s most strenuous thumb wrestling match as the hot red sun slipped down below the ocean. The sky rippled with beauty as the moon dared to venture upward once more.
“You’re an only child, right?” Brian asked as he writhed beneath Peyton’s grip.
“Yep.”
He was no match for her; she pinned his thumb beneath hers and claimed her sweet victory. Brian hung his head in shame. His fingers, once trusted allies on which he’d made his life, were now traitors. Weak willed and abolished by Peyton’s unique skill.
“What about you?” she asked smoothly as they silently engaged in a fifth round.
She’d won all but one. She was happy to give Brian the opportunity to win back his manhood, but it appeared he wasn’t up to the challenge. Or Peyton had abnormally strong thumbs.
“I have a brother and a sister,” Brian answered, biting at his tongue as he tried to dominate Peyton’s hand.
She was too agile for that.
“Are you close with them?” Peyton asked curiously.
Brian nodded, breaking his concentration enough that Peyton snatched the advantage, “With my brother. My sister is my half sister, so she’s a fuck ton younger than I am. I love her and all, but we don’t have a whole lot in common.”
“You’re lucky,” Peyton smiled. “I wish I had a sibling. I don’t have anyone that shares my DNA—half or whole. So, you’re lucky.”
“Yeah,” Brian smirked. “It isn’t without it’s disadvantages though. Siblings are the fucking worst.”
“I know you all say that,” Peyton laughed, claiming yet another victory. “But I just don’t believe you.”
“Just trust me,” Brian half-laughed, reluctantly pulling his hand back.
He glanced out toward the sea and was surprised to find the sun had all but gone. Peyton appeared to be having the same epiphany as her eyes widened within her skull.
“Where has the day gone?” Peyton gasped.
“Time flies,” Brian smirked.
She dared to meet his gaze; she was paralyzed. Like death by chocolate.
Despite the genuinely good company, Peyton knew better than to linger too long in one place. She was a complicated breed and Brian seemed...uncomplicated. Whatever fire he’d lit inside of her, it had been preceded by a flame older than time itself. She couldn’t shake the nagging sense of destiny that would claw at her eyeballs every time she so much as glanced at her Wiley. Peyton was the master of control; and she needed to control herself with Brian. She was afraid of what might happen if she didn’t.
The way he was smiling at her made her weak in the knees. They’d had a day of innocent bliss, which truly only made her like him that much more. She pummeled herself internally at the realization. She liked him.
She liked him enough to reign it in. She wasn’t Jimmy; she wasn’t going to tow the lines of two hearts. Somehow, she’d have to resist the temptation to leap across the boundary to romantic haven. At least until she could make sense of what she wanted.
What she expected.
She reminded herself that this was not her home. This was not her life. Peoples feelings were at stake here; she would not be the one to rain destruction down, her wake nothing but acidic puddles. She knew better.
“I should get home,” Peyton sighed ruefully.
Brian nodded, “Sure. I’ve got an early morning anyway.”
A dinner invitation had lingered on the tip of his tongue. He was relieved that he’d needed an extra second to gather his courage, realizing in a hurry that she would have turned him down. He was annoyed to find himself disappointed.
At several points throughout the day he’d had compulsive thoughts of a life with this woman. She was easy to get comfortable with; she was guardedly warm. She reminded him a lot of Jimmy, on his darker days anyway. Jimmy.
Brian had tried his best to blow past the pesky Jimmy in the air. But the girl had a fucking tribute for the guy...his best friend. The same man that had been her best friend once too. It was clear that whatever Peyton and Jimmy had left behind was hardly left in their past at all. It had muddled its way back, just like Peyton.
Although Brian fancied himself strong, he wasn’t sure he was tough enough to face that kind of relation shape. Triangles were far too pointed, and surely not in his direction.
But Jimmy had Natalie. And Peyton had asked him not to read too far into the tattoo...Brian was at a total loss. He resigned himself to making peace with things as they came. He found he liked Peyton; genuinely liked her. He enjoyed her company, he admired the way she held herself. If friendship was all he could have, that would be fine too. She was too valuable to let slip from his grip simply because his ego was pained.
Peyton gathered her things, wishing for a second that Jimmy hadn’t abandoned her. After a day in the sun, her skin was fried and her brain catatonic.
“Okay,” Brian declared once he’d repacked his things. “Let’s go.”
Peyton smiled, “I think I’ll walk back alone.”
Another rejection stung Brian’s pride.
“Oh,” Brian said, at a loss for anything deeper.
“Don’t get me wrong,” Peyton rushed with a sympathetic laugh. “I’m not trying to run away or anything. It’s just that you said you live up the street...I’m really far out of your way.”
Brian shrugged, “I don’t mind.”
“Brian,” she pressed fondly.
He laughed, rubbing at the back of his neck, “You sure you’re okay to walk alone?”
After giving the duration of that walk exactly three seconds of thought, Brian was on board with Peyton’s thinking. He’d walk her home, she’d offer to drive him, she’d be inconvenienced. So, he’d decline and then he’d have to walk all the way back...She’d insist she walk him back. It would go on and on forever until someone died.
“In Huntington?” She smiled. “What’s the worst that’ll happen? A surfer might tell me to hang ten? I’m good.”
He laughed, “If you’re sure...”
“I’m sure,” she insisted. “But...I had a really good time with you...I’m going to take you up on that surfing lesson if your offers still good.”
He smirked, “Any time.”
“Cool,” she smiled, taking an awkward side step from her newfound friend. “I guess I’ll...see you later.”
He nodded, overcome with the awkward tension that befell any and all accidental first date goodbyes. Brian wasn’t one to mince words; this had absolutely been a date. One of the best dates he’d ever been on...even if it wasn’t a technical date. The thickness between them was plagued with confusion.
Both held serious reservations, both founded mostly by the same thorn. But neither one could deny the chemistry looming in the few feet of space between them. Peyton was hesitant to leave; she considered suggesting dinner for a quick second. But Jimmy's crystal blues settled into her third eye and she reminded herself that her moral compass wasn’t entirely in shambles. Even if she had to flick it to get it pointing north again.
“Okay,” she said flatly, glancing up the road.
“Text me when you get home,” Brian rushed. “So I know you didn’t get murdered or something.”
“Text you?” She grinned. “How would I do that?”
“It’s pretty simple,” he snickered. “You hold your phone and you load up that little envelope at the bottom of the screen...”
She laughed shallowly, “Clever.”
He wiggled his eyebrows just enough to have her giggling. He selfishly soaked up the sound, letting him wash away all of his guilt.
“I meant,” she grinned, rolling her emerald eyes, “I don’t have your number.”
“You’re in luck,” he smirked. “I happen to know it. I could give it to you if you want.”
“Clever,” she smiled.
She patted herself down and had a mini panic attack when she came up flat. Digging through her bag, she cursed wildly as she realized there was no phone to be found. With relief and regret, she quickly realized she’d left it on her bed earlier that morning. She’d been so rushed that she’d neglected to grab her lifeline.
“I don’t have my phone,” she pouted at Brian.
He laughed, “So much for my line.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Now I have to just blatantly ask for your number,” he whined.
“I’d be a twat to turn you down after all that work you put in,” Peyton laughed, opening and closing her hand as her nonverbal way of politely demanding Brian’s phone.
She was surprised when he handed it over without complaint. When she’d simply checked the time on Jimmy's phone he’d gripes about it. But here she was, basically combing through Brian’s personal life and he was entirely unfazed. Her qualms about this dynamic began to slowly unwind; one frayed thread at a time.
With her number saved into his phone, she sent herself a quick text—eliminating the risk of Brian disappearing into the cyber vortex.
When she handed Brian his phone back, he glanced at the screen to find she’d texted herself with a simple message: text him back.
Brian grinned from ear to ear.
“Clever,” he mimicked, drowning in her jade gaze.
She nodded cutely, “I thought so.”
“Should we hug it out?” Brian asked awkwardly. “I feel like we should hug it out.”
“God you’re painful,” Peyton laughed. “But sure, we can hug it out.”
They leaned into one another, each pretending to be less enveloped than the other. But Peyton smelled like heaven and Brian was drinking it up. Peyton shed her shield under Brian’s arms. She let herself melt for a quick second before collecting herself and resuming control.
She intentionally neglected the calming effect Brian’s touch seemed to have on her. She’d pitch it to Joanna later and have her psychoanalyze the encounter a thousand different ways before landing on anything but romanticism. Romantics weren’t the point of this trip, Peyton reminded herself. And if they were, her target would admittedly be a bit closer to home. Even if that target was decidedly an idiot.
But as Brian pulled back, Peyton worried she might be an idiot too.
And when she turned around, halfway up the street, to find Brian had turned around too, she leaned toward absolute idiocy.
She waved, he waved. It was entirely wholesome.
She obsessed about it the entire walk home. Every inch of the sidewalk led her mind back to her day with Brian; her day spent enjoying Huntington Beach. She’d rediscovered places she’d loved as a child and had abandoned as an adult. She was glad to have been dragged into the past—it was forever changed now. The pier would now reek of Brian, and not Jimmy.
You idiot.
By time Peyton got back to her house, which was shrouded in darkness and encompassed in loneliness, she grumbled to herself. Slamming the door behind her, she was sure she was a fucking idiot.

Notes

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