Trashed and Scattered

Brian drove to the only place he could think of: the coast. He pulled the car into the lot and promptly let the engine die. The sun was setting just beyond the horizon and Brian smiled smugly to himself, commending his timing. Peyton followed him from the car and down passed the concrete and into the sand.
They walked until they could see the rippling tide pulling in and washing out. Only then did they collapse into the grains, letting the crimson day break their fall.
“Are you okay?” Brian asked all in one breath.
Peyton nearly laughed, scowling her face playfully as she digested Brian’s question.
“Level with me,” he smirked. “I know you and Jim had some…thing…going on. There’s no way it didn’t sting when we were told to act like you don’t know each other.”
She sniffled subtly, digging her fingertips into the ground, “It stung a bit, I guess.”
“Are you okay?” he urged. “No judgement.”
“I’m fine,” she assured him, finally glancing up to meet his eyes. “I guess I just thought we were friends. So…It’s a bit confusing. That’s all.”
“Friends,” Brian teased.
Peyton laughed shallowly, “Yes, friends. I don’t know what you think you know, but I swear you don’t know anything.”
“Aw,” Brian cooed. “That’s so sweet.”
“That isn’t what I meant,” she chuckled softly. “It’s…”
“Complicated?” Brian suggested feebly, digging through his pocket for his pack of Marlboros.
She shook her head, “No, not at all. I mean…Jimmy’s kind of making it complicated. But we’re friends. I was going to say that it’s weird. Not seeing someone for a billion years and then all of a sudden they’re sprung into your life again.”
“I bet,” Brian nodded as he pulled as lone cigarette from his pack and lit it immediately. “He was really fucking excited to see you. He gets quiet when he’s excited—it’s weird. He’s loud as fuck any other time.”
Peyton snickered, “Yeah…Well, I guess that excitement wore off in a hurry.”
“It’s like I said,” Brian sighed, leaning back onto an elbow, “Natalie is…Natalie. He’s probably just trying to protect you.”
“Or himself,” Peyton countered.
Brian tipped the end of his cigarette to her and nodded, “Or himself.”
“Whatever,” she grumbled. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“That’s cool,” Brian shrugged, relieved at her disregard for the topic.
“Tell me about you,” she smiled. “Brian…Brian what?”
He smiled back, fielding the easiest question, “Haner.”
She mumbled the name a few times over, committing it to memory while simultaneously reveling in how good it tasted on her tongue.
“So how’d you get Synyster Gates from Brian Haner?” she asked curiously, reaching over to snatch the pack of cigarettes balancing atop his thigh.
Brian smirked, “I didn’t. Jimmy gave the nickname to me.”
“Of course he did,” she groaned quietly, gesturing for Brian to pass over his lighter.
He tilted his head at her like an intrigued owl might look at a mouse. He considered playing with his food but ultimately decided against it, handing over his possession.
“So where’d it come from?” she asked more specifically, choking a little on the first puff of the stolen cigarette.
He shrugged, “We were good and drunk…driving through a park. That’s really all I’ve got for you.”
“That sums it up pretty nicely,” Peyton laughed with a hollow amusement.
“What about you, huh?” he asked her with a cocked eyebrow. “Where’d Lexi come from?”
“It’s, uh, it’s my middle name,” she answered briskly, hating the way it sounded coming from anyone but Jimmy.
“Lexi is your middle name?” Brian asked incredulously.
“Alexis,” Peyton smiled. “Alexis is my middle name. Jimmy kind of ran with it…He’s the only one that calls me that.”
Her mind fluttered all the way back to the day Lexi was born. She’d shown up at Jimmy’s window, as always, her cheeks stained from the tears and the swelling. He’d pulled her inside and into his arms, consoling her as best as he could.
“What did I do?” she’d sobbed into his chest. “Why does she hate me so much?”
Wiley had absolutely nothing to work with. He didn’t know her mom; he didn’t know how she could be so evil. He’d never understood it—but he’d understood his friend. She could never have done anything to deserve such hatred; such abuse.
“I don’t want to be her daughter,” she’d wept, trying to hold back the sobs.
“Then don’t be,” Wiley had countered, wiping her tears as they fell. “Be someone else.”
She’d sniffled, a hiccup escaping her young lungs, “How?”
“How about when you’re with me, you’re not Peyton,” he’d suggested with an excited smile. “You can be…Alexis.”
Her eyes had glimmered with a touch of hope.
“Over there…” he’d gestured lazily out the window. “That’s Peyton’s life. But over here…Peyton who?”
“Okay…”
He’d nodded happily, “Nice to meet you, Alexis. I’m Jimmy.”
“No you’re not,” she’d laughed, breaking herself from her fortress of tears. “You’re Wiley.”
He’d rolled his blue eyes, letting the sound of her giggles mold into the creases in his life. She’d never felt more safe than in that moment that Jimmy had given her a new lease on her life; a new control over what she’d always known.
She was sure she’d never feel as safe again.
“Peyton Alexis Winchester?” Brian asked, pulling Peyton quickly from her daze.
She nodded, taking a long puff of the cigarette, “That’s me.”
“Leave it to Jimmy to make a middle name into a nickname, I guess,” Brian snickered.
Peyton just nodded, unwilling to get into the plethora of reasons she’d needed a new identity. Not that Brian didn’t know a handful of them.
“So you knew Matt too, right?” Brian asked curiously.
“Yeah, a bit,” Peyton replied casually. “He was more of Jimmy’s friend than mine, though.”
“You left right before I met Jim,” Brian told her. “That’s what Jimmy always said, anyway.”
“That’s a real shame,” Peyton grinned. “Maybe we could have been childhood friends too.”
He shrugged, meeting her gaze from behind the curtain of smoke rising and falling between them, “I’d rather be adult friends. Adult friends get to have way more fun.”
“Isn’t that the truth,” Peyton laughed dryly.
“I have to say, though,” Brian thought aloud, watching as the sun dipped behind streaks of yellow. “I’m a bit jealous that Jimmy knows you so well.”
Peyton mulled it around for a minute before sighing, “He doesn’t know me very well at all.”
Brian’s brows pressed together, “What do you mean?”
“He knew me when I was eleven,” Peyton shrugged. “I’m not eleven anymore. Jimmy knows a different version of me…I don’t think I’m the same person anymore. I hope I’m not the same person anymore.”
Brian tried to think back to himself in his youth. Was she right? He hadn’t noticed himself aging…He hadn’t noticed himself growing. But he wasn’t who he was back then. When he was eleven, all he cared about was guitars and Jimmy. And the occasional girl.
Now, though, he was obsessed with women. He loved them; couldn’t get enough of them. He lived for music and for the people that he loved. So, he figured, he was still the same person at the core of it all—but he’d extended his reaches. He’d adapted and he’d adopted new traits.
But was he the same person?
“That’s an interesting prospect,” Brian finally said, in awe of her depth.
She shrugged with a laugh, “Having your past thrown into your face makes you think about some shit.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad Jimmy’s an idiot,” Brian smirked.
“Oh?” Peyton urged casually.
“Yeah,” Brian nodded. “If he wasn’t an idiot, he would have scooped you up for himself. Then I wouldn’t have had a chance to get to know you.”
Peyton tried not to let her ache show through her interest. He had taken her for himself…but then he’d released her without any second thought. He’d gone right back into his life, burying himself inside his relationship instead of in her. He hadn’t even looked guilty about the whole thing.
It was as if nothing had happened.
Which, she knew, was what they’d agreed to. But it didn’t lessen the fall in the slightest. She still couldn’t completely shake the feeling that Jimmy was somehow her destiny, as much as she hoped that he wasn’t. There had been an undeniable chemistry between them, which she told herself was simply because of familiarity.
But there was Brian, his brown eyes burning holes into her memory. She hadn’t been this fascinated with someone in a long time. He was uncharted; untainted. He was brand new, still in his packaging, just waiting to be torn into.
With the sunset as his backdrop, he looked like a fallen god. His chiseled cheekbones and strong jawline were made only more seductive by his dreamy darkened gaze. She licked at her lips absentmindedly, conjuring up a thousand ways that she could dive into him.
“He’s always been an idiot,” she said without thinking.
Brian laughed loudly, a cheeky grin spreading across his face, “I couldn’t agree more.”
He snuffed his cigarette out before leaning all the way up. Without warning, he pulled his shirt from his shoulders and tossed it carelessly to the side.
Peyton actively caught herself staring but couldn’t bring herself to stop. The muscles in his back tensed with each movement, the subtle beads of sweat glistened like diamonds in the setting sun. He was nothing short of beautiful.
“Coming in?” he asked with a mischievous grin.
“In where?” she blinked, leaning around him to peer at the ocean. “In there?”
He laughed, “No, Peyton. Into the bathroom. Yes, into the ocean.”
She could have been alright with the bathroom. She added said bathroom onto her growing list of a thousand ways she could dive into him.
“No need to be sassy about it,” she grumbled teasingly, stabbing the cigarette into the sand until the ember finally died.
He extended his hand to her and she greedily took it up, stripping down to almost nothing in one fell swoop.
Brian began the familiar dance; helplessly gawking at her as she stepped out from her jeans and left them in her wake. He wondered if she worked out; she had to. No one was so naturally perfect. He couldn’t help but wonder how Jimmy could possibly have such restraint? This woman was like a siren; and he was hopelessly weaving to her call.
“Race you,” she grinned before taking off into a sprint toward the sea.
Brian laughed to himself, letting her have a split second head start before tearing after her. She’d barely made it to the shallows by time he’d caught up. He took her up into his arms from behind, carrying her into the icy water as she screeched and giggled.
He held her up as she kicked like a maniac.
“You’re going in,” he told her calmly.
She screeched, “No!”
“You wanted to race,” he reminded her with a laugh. “You lost. This is your punishment.”
“There’s no punishment for losing a race, Brian,” she cackled. “There’s only a prize for winning!”
He faltered, embarrassed to realize she was right.
“Fuck,” he snickered. “Whatever. This is my prize for winning then!”
“No!” she screeched again.
But Brian did not relent. Instead, he bid her farewell as he used all of his might to send her flying into the depths of the Pacific. She disappeared beneath the surface, bringing much joy to Brian’s competitive heart.
A moment passed and she still didn’t resurface. Brian began to worry, running his hands below the waves in subtle search for the beauty. When she still didn’t come up, he began to full out panic. He took steady steps through the area to which he’d thrown her to die, but found nothing.
“Peyton?” he called nervously, spinning in circles and scanning the air frantically. “Peyton?”
He wasn’t sure what to do. Panic froze his bones.
Without warning, he felt his left leg kick out from beneath him. The sudden flamingo act knocked him off balance and he plummeted backward into the ocean. Confused and worried there might be a shark eyeing him up for its next meal, he hurried to the surface and took a panicked breath.
To his dismay and relief, Peyton was cackling, shaking her head at him, “Fuck you.”
“Jesus,” Brian breathed. “You scared the shit out of me! I thought you fucking died!”
“Died?” she scoffed. “In four feet of water you think I died? What did I do, Brian? Drown?”
He pouted, “People die in showers, Peyton. The depth doesn’t matter.”
“People do not die in showers,” she countered smugly, admiring the way Brian only seemed to get more attractive when wet.
“They do,” he insisted, stepping toward her. “And now that you’ve fucked up my hair, I’ll have to drown you too.”
“In the shower?” she grinned, bursting quickly into a fit of laughter. “I’d like to see you try.”
Brian laughed as he lunged for her, stealing her into his arms as she fought to get away. She let herself swoon beneath his strength, letting herself enjoy the way his arms felt around her. They were firm; dedicated.
“I don’t want to drown,” she fake-whined, letting her limbs fall limp. “Please don’t drown me. I promise your hair still looks good.”
Brian grinned from behind her, only then noticing the pressure her waist was putting on the boys. He adjusted accordingly, refusing to let her know what an immediate impact he’d had on his boyhood. He had to maintain at least some shred of dignity.
“How good?” he dared her lowly.
She laughed, “Better than mine, I’m sure.”
Brian smirked, “Are you fishing for compliments, Peyton Winchester?”
“No, I would never,” she gasped dramatically. “Especially not from a Haner. That name sounds made up.”
Brian laughed, giving absolutely no warning to the beauty in his arms as he lifted her and released all in one movement. She crashed back into the blue, sputtering and coughing as she emerged once more.
“Oh, fuck you,” she grinned, declaring war as she splashed her way over to him and threw her entire weight at him.
It had been her intention to submerge him—but she hadn’t factored in his weight compared to hers. He stood stagnant, despite her best efforts to drown him. From within his coloured arms, she looked up at him helplessly.
“I….did not think this through,” she snickered, using the bat of her eyelashes to beg for mercy.
“No shit,” he grinned, letting his eyes wander from her jade eyes down to her pouted lips and back again.
“I like to think I’m strong,” she told him lowly, feeling suddenly stripped of all play.
He narrowed his eyes at her, “I see that.”
“No one’s ever as strong as they think they are,” she offered feebly, now finding herself bridging the gap from his eyes to his lips over and over again.
She couldn’t help it. They just looked…so inviting.
“You have no idea how right you are,” Brian agreed, fighting with himself.
He resisted every urge to claim her right then and there. By the look on her face, he was sure she wouldn’t contest it. She was alluring…and he was struggling to find the strength to tear himself away.
But Jimmy wasn’t lost on him. And he wasn’t lost on her.
They both knew they owed him more than some fruitful afternoon romp within the ocean. At the very least, Brian needed to know it was okay. Before anything could happen…Despite how badly he wanted it to.
Peyton was the first to break the moment, slipping out from Brian’s arms at the sense of his distraction. She swam a few a paces away, turning back only to wiggle her brows daringly at him.
“Come on, Haner,” she grinned. “We should do something about your hair before we have to be at Matt’s.”
As she headed back for the shore, Brian found his hands fixing the strands of black hair that had fallen into his face.
“There’s nothing wrong with my hair,” he grumbled to himself before chasing after the minx headed for the beach.
As they both stretched out into the sand once more, letting the evening chill dry their skin, neither mentioned the looming connection blossoming between them. Peyton told herself that it was a rebound thing; Jimmy had hurt her and now she was seeking solace in someone else. It was a routine tested and true; she’d sworn by it for years.
But the aching desire didn’t relent, even as Brian slid his shirt back over his head.
Brian glanced over at the half-naked girl beside him, letting his eyes wander just long enough not to get caught. She was so perfect; so close. And yet, somehow, she was entirely unattainable.
“Fuck,” he grumbled inaudibly to himself.
He was sure then. Jimmy was an idiot.

Notes

BREYTON?

xx