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Infected

Chapter 22 - Today Has Been Okay

“I hate you!”
“Hallie, just get your stuff together so we can go,” I groaned, tired of the back and forth.
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she argued, folding her arms across her chest.
“Stay here by yourself then,” I shrugged, slinging my pack onto my back.
Not wanting to give up the fight, she leapt up, stamping her foot down, “I wish you’d died instead of her.”
I bit my tongue to avoid snapping back, while Hallie pouted as she waited for an answer. All we ever seemed to do anymore was fight. I’m no child psychologist, but it wasn’t hard to understand why she was lashing out; I just didn’t know how to help. I was a mess myself, a big emotional mess of grief and anger, and every hate-fuelled word she sent my way was welcomed by my contempt of myself. It cemented what I already suspected - that I was to blame for everything. Hallie was as bitter of my survival as she was of her mother’s passing. I heaved a sigh and left the bedroom. We were currently trapped in a boarded up old house, abandoned long before the pandemic if its contents were anything to go by. It was safe enough though, the covered windows providing extra protection. We’d slept on opposite sides of a dusty old double bed at first. Hallie no longer wanted my cuddles that she’d once relied upon for comfort, or my poor singing. She’d wanted nothing at all to do with me since we’d left the school, and her mother, behind.

I’d buried her while Hallie had slept - another faux pas on my part - the same day that she’d died. That had been the ultimate insult apparently.
I had to admit looking back, that it would have been far more reasonable to offer her the chance to participate in her mother’s burial, but I thought I was protecting her and doing the right thing. Things had gone downhill from there. That night marked the part of this journey where Hallie and I had met our emotional fork in the road. She only wanted to talk about her mother and sister, and I wanted to forget all about them. There was no Viola or Esther anymore, just a lingering headache of their last moments, both dictated by my hands. Hallie hated my silence with a passion, and wasn't afraid to tell me so.
I’d done something else that night while she slept. I’d picked up the little girl that had bitten Viola and held her close. I'd let silent tears pour from my eyes as I squeezed her fragile, lifeless body against me. I could never have seen her as infected or dangerous, or even the thing that had killed my sister; she was just a child who’d been left behind. She was still in her school uniform, for crying out loud. Her mother had probably wept over her, just like Viola had wept over Esther. With a shaky breath, I slipped a hand into the back of her dress, turning the neck line inside out to read the name tag that had been sewn in.

Olivia Hadley

“Olivia,” I whispered, stroking a hand through her wild, knotted hair. Her skin was pale, almost blueish where it wasn’t stained with her dried blood, and her blue eyes were void of any life. I leaned her torso against me and picked up the knife that I’d taken her life with. Delicately, I picked the stitches one by one until the name tag came free and slipped her into my pocket, along with Carson West and Viola. I couldn’t let these people go. I had inflicted pain upon them and I didn’t deserve to be allowed to forget a single one of them.


When Hallie had awoken the next morning and realised Viola was gone, she unleashed her wrath upon me. I sat through the hours of screaming and crying, I took every single word she spat and branded it into my memory because I knew it was true. When she’d worked through that, I’d packed our bags, thrust Bunny into her arms and dragged her from that hellhole. She stayed quiet as I navigated through the city, finding somewhere safer and less emotionally draining for us.
Somewhere where I had managed not to kill anyone yet,I thought, miserably. I wasn’t sure whether she was quiet for our safety, or because she hated my guts and had no words for me, but I thought it was reasonable to presume the latter. The old, abandoned property we’d ended up in was on the edge of the city, right on the state line. It was fairly secluded, far enough from the city that we weren’t in the thick of things, but close enough for me to head in to find supplies. I didn’t take Hallie on runs with me. After weighing up the options, it seemed better for her to stay indoors, and she certainly wasn’t fighting to spend any more time with me than necessary. Despite our coexistence, we fell into a routine of living separate lives. If we needed anything, I crept out into the city first thing in the morning and scavenged whatever I could find. When I got home, I’d try and throw together something edible and we’d sit opposite one another and eat in silence. Then Hallie would disappear into the bedroom, where she’d remain for the rest of the day. Eventually, I’d stopped even going up to the bedroom, instead curling up on the couch to cry myself to sleep. I wondered if Hallie cried herself to sleep as well? I wondered if she was as lonely as I was? I was grateful that she at least didn’t have to bear the guilt that I burdened myself with.

By the time I’d decided that we should leave, we’d been here for months. Not through intention. Grief does strange things to time. It had definitely not moved quickly, but at the same time it had somehow passed by in a strange blur. I didn’t know how long we’d stayed exactly, but the seasons had changed, the cool air alerting us to Winter’s arrival, and that was enough to tell me that we’d been here longer than we ever should have. After I felt she’d had an ample amount of time to cool off, I approached the bedroom and gingerly knocked on the door.
“You ok?” I asked, poking my head around the door. Hallie was sat on the bed with her legs crossed, her face sullen. She looked away from me.
“Look, I hate this too, okay? I never wanted things to go this way. Your mom-”
“You don’t get to talk about her,” Hallie exploded, jabbing a finger at me. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d still be here.”
“Don’t you think I know?” I shouted back aggressively, effectively silencing her. “It plays on my mind all day every day, and then I close my eyes at night to try and escape and I
dream about it. It’s all I ever think about. It's driving me crazy. This house isn’t helping. This whole damn city isn’t helping. I need to get out of here, and unfortunately we’re stuck with each other, so you’re coming with me. Now put your goddamn pack on, because we’re leaving.”
She stared at me, stunned at my outburst. I was already regretting it, only reinforced by her lip beginning to tremble. She didn’t cry though. Instead, she squeezed her eyes closed, blinking her tears away, and slid Viola’s old pack onto her shoulders.


“Yeah, Brian never gets a break. I remember this one time, Johnny replaced his hair gel with-”
“Look!” I interrupted, pointing ahead.
“Don’t you want to know what Johnny replaced his hair gel with?” Jimmy asked, as he cackled at the memory. I elbowed him to get his attention, ignoring his insistence that I listen to his story.
“Jimmy, the van!” I shrieked, impatiently. Before he’d even looked where I was pointing, I broke into a sprint across the sharp stones. Ignoring the pain of their rough surface against my blistered feet, I pushed on until I reached my heap of clothes on the floor. I pulled my top over my head, relishing in the blanket of security that it gave me. I quickly followed up with my jeans, taking on a newfound confidence now that my skin was hidden.
“What took you so long?” I grinned as Jimmy ambled up, casually.
“Don’t know why you’re complaining, you get to look at this body for longer,” he announced, curling a bicep to show… not much.
“Can you please put your clothes on?” I teased, raising an eyebrow. “I would like to go and have a beer in the comfort of your home.”
“Now you’re talking!” he exclaimed excitedly, eagerly shimmying his jeans up. Clearly cookie dough ice cream wasn’t the only way to his heart. He grinned, “Today’s been fun, though.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I laughed, the disbelief etched onto my face. “You almost died.”
Almost,” he repeated with a wink as he tugged his tee down over his head. “Your hair is fucking wild right now by the way.”
“My hair?” I laughed, pointedly shifting my eyes upward to his bird’s nest.
“Yeah, it’s all over the place,” he deadpanned as he started towards the van. As he passed me, I impulsively reached out and grabbed his arm. It surprised him as much as it surprised me, and I blushed at my brashness.
“I just…” I trailed off, losing my mojo. He waited patiently, not interrupting for once. I laughed nervously, trying to fill the deafening silence that I’d unintentionally created. He waited still, half an expectant smile on his face, so I blurted out, “Today was… okay - most of it, anyway. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but I don’t really have okay days anymore so thanks, I guess.”
The small smile bloomed into a toothy grin and he agreed, “it was pretty fun. You can come on all the Lucky Charms hunts in future.”

Though we were now sat in the van, we were seemingly in no hurry to go back. Jimmy sat in the seat next to me, a box of his addiction nestled between us, both of us with our feet up on the dashboard. Jimmy was flicking pieces of cereal into in the air and trying to catch them in his mouth.
“Don’t give up your day job,” I smirked as he missed for the hundredth time, the marshmallow bouncing off his nose and landing somewhere in the foot well.
“Bet you can’t do it either,” he retorted, completely missing another piece. I dove into the box, grabbing a handful to pick through.
“I wouldn’t be so thoughtless as to waste them on such an attempt,” I quipped, eyeing the small collection that was gathering around him.
“I’ll eat every single one,” he insisted, shrugging.
I picked up a marshmallow from beside him on the seat and licked it surreptitiously, “Even this one?”
“Especially that one,” he grinned, wickedly. “Hand it over.”
I giggled and shoved it into my mouth before he could follow through on his threat.
He laughed, before taking on a reluctant tone, “We should get back. Mother Shadows will be sending out a search party before long.”

The atmosphere in the van shifted as Jimmy shuffled himself over into the driver’s seat. It was still relaxed, but there was longing in the air. A longing to stay cooped up with a box of Lucky Charms, ignoring the abnormality of the world that waited just outside of our little bubble.
I opened the glove compartment as he started the van, and sifted through the stack of CD cases until I found one that I could get on board with. I removed the delightful strangeness that was Oingo Boingo and slotted in my choice. The dulcet guitar tones came through the speakers and Jimmy smiled knowingly at me.
“You’d better sing along,” he warned, shifting the van into reverse.
“Really?” I laughed, “Is that a good idea?”
“I don’t care if you sound like a dying cat,” he replied, so earnestly that I couldn’t possibly take offence, “you have to sing. I’ll sing with you.”
So I took a deep breath and put on my best English accent (which was fucking appalling) for our duet.

“Ground control to Major Tom.”


We never got any further because Jimmy sputtered into snorts of laughter, so much so that he had to stop the van.
“Bowie... would… be… proud,” he managed to get out between his hysterical bouts.
“I don’t know if you’re laughing at the accent or the singing,” I admitted, sheepishly, which only made him laugh harder.
“Don’t stop,” he pleaded, looking over at me with tears in his eyes.
“But I think I might be mildly offended by your reaction?” I protested playfully, a smile growing from the corners of my mouth.
“You’ve got a talent, that’s for sure,” he managed, finally composing himself enough to begin the drive back. “More. Please. I beg you.”
“You’re an ass,” I shot at him, but his enthusiasm for fun was incredibly infectious, so I obliged, finding my place and joining back in with Bowie’s crooning much to Jimmy’s delight.
As I sang, if you can call it that, he grinned at me, happily, “Today has definitely been fun.”

Notes

I'm pinning a lot on a cereal that I've never tried, here.

Comments

How did we get to fifty chapters?!!?? That fucking flew!!!!
But, most importantly...
REVRINA!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
6/15/19

Woot! Revarina is official!!

Buggaloo Buggaloo
6/12/19

@RamonaFoREVer
FUCKIN' YEAH THEY ARE

fyction fyction
6/11/19

@fyction
OFFICIAL Revrina <3

RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/11/19

REVRINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

fyction fyction
6/11/19