We’d driven for just over an hour in complete silence. The empty car seat where Esther should have been served as a painful reminder of the times we’d found ourselves in. Everything felt so… temporary, now. Even more so than normal life, just with different circumstances. There was no getting hit by a bus, or having a heart attack; no, now it was death by infection – or worse the infected. There was also a chance someone you loved would kill you, I thought glumly.
Had Esther recognised me at all? Did she know it was me who... who hurt her? Did she know what I was doing? Was she scared?
The questions flitted through my mind, taking me to dark places that I was powerless to fight my arrival in. A blackness had descended around me; a thick, poisonous fog that was going to slowly kill me with torment. Perhaps I deserved it. I thought I’d been doing the right thing, as ridiculous as that sounded, but I knew that the 'right thing’ was just a concept in this situation to try and shield myself from the truth – I was a murderer... Viola had killed a man as well. His ID was burning a hole in my pocket still, but that was different... wasn’t it? There was a loud POP from somewhere under my feet. We screeched across the road and Viola cried out as she tried to steer into the skid. The car jerked into the opposite direction like it was being yanked on a length of string. A rock face came flying at us and my whole body tensed as the car collided with it, forcing the airbags to explode out of the dashboard. The impact jarred me to my bones. There was a flash of white, and then I felt myself hit the airbag which slammed me back into my seat.

I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, my brain still trying to catch up. I was staring at the highway, but we weren’t moving. Viola was hanging forward awkwardly by her seat belt, slumped over the wheel. I became aware of dull ache that was creeping over my entire body. The air bag hung limply in front of me, spurring my mind into doing all the right calculations to bring me up to speed.
We crashed. Holy shit, we crashed. I forced myself to take a deep breath in before patting Viola’s arm gently.
“Vi?” I tried to coax an answer out of her by shaking her. She let out a low groan and lifted her head.
“Oh, fuck,” she murmured, looking at the wreckage that surrounded her. Our haphazard attempt at packing had now been strewn all over the car, and there was steam pouring out of the bonnet before us. She slowly turned herself back, obviously also feeling the ache of the impact.
“You ok, Hal?” she asked, looking back at her daughter.
Hallie looked completely terrified, but despite being pale and wide eyed, she managed a small nod.
“Jesus, I don’t know what happened,” Viola breathed, as her fingers ran over her face and head checking for injury.
“I think we had a blowout,” I replied, checking the mirrors and hauling myself out of the car. Sure enough, the front passenger tyre was flat. Taking a few steps forward, I inspected the front of the car. Even if we managed to change the tyre, I was pretty sure this thing would never drive anywhere again. I groaned outwardly.
“What’s the damage?” Viola asked, sticking her head out of the car.
I pulled a face, “Looks like we’re walking.”
She got out of the car with a frown, “Are you sure?”
“The front is pretty mangled, I doubt it will even start up again,” I replied, standing aside so she could conduct her own appraisal.
“Darn it,” she cursed, giving the loose bumper a kick. “How are we supposed to walk anywhere?”
“With our legs?” I asked, dryly. She shot me an unimpressed look.
“I’m glad that you haven’t lost your wit, but some of us would like to make a plan so they don’t lose any more kids,” she countered, sharply. It cut like a knife. I tried to brush off her venom and then followed her back to the car where she was already in full flow.

“Buckle up!” Jimmy exclaimed, throwing the van into reverse and lurching backwards.
“Jesus, are you going to drive like that the whole way?” I groaned, leaning my hands against the dashboard for some stability.
“Going fast is fun,” he shrugged, flooring it as he took off down the driveway, slamming the brakes on just in time to not collide with the boards and barbwire before us.
“We’re not even out of the gates yet,” I called after him as he hopped out to open them. I heard him screech at Brian to close them behind us before hopping back into the driver’s seat. We made it to the road in under 3 seconds and he turned to grin at me.
“Now we’re out of the gates. Road trip!” he cackled wildly as we sped off down the street.
“Okay, seriously, can we slow down a bit please? I wouldn’t mind not dying this way,” I chastised him, causing him to roll his eyes. He did slow down though.
“Happy now, grandma?” he snickered, drawing a cuss from my mouth. He flicked the radio on, and the same message that had been playing for two whole years was still going round in a loop. Ignoring it, he reached over into the glove box and dug through a mishmash of CDs, finally settling on one.
“What the fuck is Oingo Boingo?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
He scoffed in offence and didn’t even bother to reply, instead jamming the disc into the player.
“Is this from the 80s or something?” I giggled, as a synthesizer kicked in.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he retorted, narrowing his eyes at me. I tried to straighten my smirk out as he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel.
“Just so you know, if you’re not singing along by the end of this ride then we can’t be friends,” he announced, his tone simultaneously playful and yet dead serious.
“Well, you'd better shut up and let me listen in that case. Do you think you're actually able do that?” I sassed, only to receive a middle finger.

I may not have been singing along, but I couldn’t deny that it had grown on me very quickly. I’d been dancing in my seat by the time we’d hit the fourth track. Jimmy had cranked the volume up and his energy was infectious. There were some wonderful dance moves flowing from his hands as he drove and a smile was growing on my face.
“Do you know,” I shouted enthusiastically over the song, “I can’t remember the last time I heard music!”
“What?!” he shouted back, incredulously, turning the music down to a suitable talking volume. “How have you lived without it?”
“I don't know. I honestly forgot how much I love it,” I grinned, breathing heavily from my excitement. He slowed the van a little as he turned and gave me an inquiring look. I blushed, I think from my newfound elation... but possibly from his intense gaze. “What?”
“I don’t know how you survived without it,” he replied, simply, before fixing his attention back on the road and speeding up again. “Music is my lifeblood.”
“Not all of us had a generator, or a car,” I reminded him. “Hallie and I haven’t really had the opportunity to listen to any. We sang a lot, though.”
“Yeah, I’ve already heard that. Yikes,” he snickered, smoothly veering around an abandoned car.
I laughed, not minding his jab, “I won’t torture you then, not even with Oingo Boingo.”
“I forgot about your… disability… when I asked you to sing along. I’ll let you off,” he cackled.
“Disability?” I snorted, a belly laugh coming tumbling out of my mouth. It had been a long time and it sounded completely alien to my ears. I fell quiet as I relished the feeling of my eyes crinkling and the way the air had forced itself out of my lungs in the most pleasant way. As our conversation dipped, Jimmy turned the music back up and I let the fun tones bounce over me again, reminding me that there were still good things in life.

After an hour or so of driving down the coast, we reached Oceanside. Jimmy wasted no time in flooring it to the nearest grocery store, visibly getting more and more excited as we drew closer. He pulled up outside, barely checking our surroundings before bounding out of the van. My breath hitched in my throat and I leapt out after him.
“Are you trying to get us killed?” I hissed, catching up with him.
“Oh relax, you see anyone around?” he teased, raising an eyebrow and waiting for me to look. I glanced over my shoulder and let my eye sweep over our surroundings. Thankfully, but also irritatingly, there wasn’t a soul around, infected or otherwise.
“No,” I grumbled, pursing my lips. “But there could have been.”
“Maybe, but do you want to spend your whole life looking over your shoulder?” Jimmy asked, like the concept of being bitten by another human wasn’t that bad.
“I wouldn’t have a life if I didn’t dedicate some of my time to that activity,” I reasoned.
He shrugged, “seems like a waste to me. We’re all gonna die sometime anyway.”
“Mm, how cheerful,” I quipped, trying to keep up with him as he raced into the store. He zipped straight down the middle before darting up one of the aisles. Clearly he’d been here before, probably for this very reason.
“Can you reach those?” he asked, gesturing to his vice that was sat on the overstock shelf at the top.
I raised an eyebrow, “I’m shorter than you are, have you not noticed?”
“I’ll give you a leg up,” he replied, bending down and cupping his hands like it had been the obvious plan from the start. I didn’t like heights very much, but I didn’t want to give him that to rib me about, so with a deep breath, I placed a foot into his locked fingers. He lifted me with ease, and I reached up towards the Lucky Charms with a rather worrying wobble. Jimmy started shaking, and as I looked down to chide him, I could see he was laughing.
“Keep still,” I scolded, knocking a box down as I teetered. He gasped.
“Hey, you be careful with those!” he protested, looking in horror at the box I’d just launched at the floor.
“It’s cereal, Jimmy, not an antique vase. Now, stop moving so much,” my voice cracked as the stupidity of the situation dawned on me. I tried really hard to keep my balance, but thanks to my poor coordination, I only managed a few more boxes before Jimmy succumbed to his laughter and I completely lost it. We crashed to the floor, landing in a tangled heap.
I groaned, rubbing my back, “Is 4 boxes an adequate amount for your needs?”
“If it’s not, can I watch you do that again?” he snorted, “I fucking knew I should have brought Brian. He’s much more graceful.”
“It’s pretty difficult to keep your balance when the person holding you up is wobbling like jelly,” I retorted, making him laugh even harder. Once his hysterics had passed, he wiped his eyes and gathered up his spoils.
“This will do, I guess,” he grinned, his eyes twinkling. He turned on his heel and went striding back towards the van. I followed his lead, hurrying a little to keep up with him. He stopped sharply and 180'd, nearly causing my second collision of the day with the floor.
“Oh fuck, we were going to get you some clothes while we were here,” he remembered out loud.
I smiled lightly, “We really don’t have to, Jimmy.”
He looked me up and down in mock disgust, “No, we really do. Yours are kind of gross. So, come on, let’s go!”
And with that he bounced away again, leaving my short self trailing behind him.

Notes

Hmm... Are we still team Revarina? Or will this just end up as a friendship? Let's give them some more time...