Something woke me up and I could immediately feel the vacancy in the bed, feel that something wasn’t right.
“Zack?” I sat up, trying not to wake her. It was still dark out. Maybe he was on the deck. Glancing at the clock, I was really curious why he’d be up at 4 a.m.
Unfortunately he wasn’t on the deck. I called him and it went straight to voicemail. That’s when Violet woke up.
I bit my lip nervously, “I don’t know.”
Violet unraveled herself from the sheets and walked up to me, both of us completely naked but neither of our minds in the gutter, “Hey. It’ll be fine. He probably just needed some time to himself.”
“Time to himself?!” For a half a second I hadn’t realized I’d even vocalized it. He never needed time to himself. Then again...I’d never cheated on him.
My eyes hit the floor and that’s when she wrapped her arms around my waist, “Hey...look at me.”
She waited until she had my gaze focused on hers, “Zack is yours and always will be. He will undoubtedly need some time to get over what’s happened, just like you will. Both of you will have to figure out what you need to move on, but it’s not going to happen overnight.”
I had to admit, part of me had hoped that the previous night would be all that we needed. That was, of course, ridiculous. She was right. I had to give him time, and space if need be, but that was going to absolutely kill me. Just as I was processing this, a very angry Zack thundered back into the room and slammed the door.
Censoring himself for a moment because Violet was there, he gave her a quick look before jabbing his finger in my chest, his eyes lit up as he glared up at me, “You are going to tell me every single dirty fucking detail of your night with him. How much did you kiss? How many times did you cum? Did you fuck him from behind or facing him? I need to know everything.”
My cheeks heated as I awkwardly pulled at the back of my neck, “Zack, I don’t know that this is a good--”
“Too bad. You’re telling me.” He crossed his arms and that was that.
I paled, nodded, and dropped my gaze and my shoulders. God, this was going to make him so much angrier. I felt sick.
Violet started getting dressed and I pulled on some boxers, the silence awkward. Zack waited until she was about to leave and stopped her, gripping her arm a little harder than necessary before letting go once he realized how aggressive he was being.
“Vi…” He crossed his arms and looked at the floor, his alpha side still rolling off him in angry waves as he forced himself to stay calm, “I know this is asking a lot of you, but...we need a mediator tonight. Please stay. We’re about to get in a very heated fight and it’d be nice to have someone more level headed to tell us when to shut the fuck up.”
Her eyes widened as they flitted between the two of us. I pinched my nose, “Vi, you can say no. Zack, are you trying to run her off?”
Violet nodded and I started to panic, “You’re right. You might want a mediator, but maybe one of the guys? They know you better. And...this...is partly about me. I’m not exactly impartial.”
“Vi, we want you to be a part of this but our issues aren’t about you directly, they’re about trust and control,” Zack put both hands to her shoulders, his hands soothing up and down her arms.
“Besides. The guys are gone, I think. Brian is here, but…” God, why did I just say his name? I’m an idiot.
She worried her lip between her teeth before throwing up her hands, “Fine. Matt, put on some clothes and meet us in the living room.”
I took my time doing what I was told, hoping she could talk some sense into him. I couldn’t lie to Zack, and there had been some extremely intimate moments between Brian and I that night. Nervously, I walked into the living room in sweatpants and a tshirt and sat next to Violet. Since she was cuddled up against the back of the deep couch, I could easily reach out and touch my husband. He flinched but didn’t pull away, “I will tell you whatever you need to know to move on, Zack. But please remember I love you.”
Even though he wasn’t looking at me, he nodded as he chewed on his fingernail.
“Zack’s agreed that maybe every single detail isn’t necessary. But he does want to know what happened, how it happened. The story, basically.”
“You know this means I’ll expect the same from the two of you,” This got Zack’s attention and he finally looked at me, taking a moment before nodding.
Violet put her hand on my thigh, “What happened first after Zack left?”
“You mean other than feeling like my entire world was crashing down on me?!” I snapped before I could stop myself. Oh, man this was not going to go well if I couldn’t reel it in. Zack fired a look at me, but was silent, “I’m sorry, but if you want the story that’s how it starts.”
“That’s fair,” Zack’s voice came out thick and throaty, coated with emotion.
I trudged on, leaning over on my knees and recalling the worst night of my life, “I started drinking just so I wouldn’t hyperventilate. I felt so alone, so useless. You know I thrive on feeling needed, and it broke me when you didn’t need me anymore.” My chest ached at remembering that horrid feeling, “After I’d downed a glass and then another, I heard noises coming from Brian’s floor. At first I was pissed that I’d have to listen to them having sex, but it was soon pretty clear they were fighting. I showed up just in time to beat that shithead to a pulp. Brian’s a lover, not a fighter and had been moments away from getting raped. After I threw the guy out, I made Brian a drink and he told me what happened. He started seeing to my bloody hands and asked where you were, so I told him. Then there we were, drunk on whiskey and adrenaline,” I nervously raised my eyes to my husband’s, “He needed me, when you didn’t.”
The fresh tears that came to his pretty green eyes made me swallow hard. But I couldn’t apologize for my remark, it was true and he had wanted the whole truth. The anger was finally fading from him, though, at least. He leaned forward, his eyes cold, “Were you worked up?” The question was short, clipped.
My eyes dropped, “Yes.”
“How long did he take it? What was it like?”
Violet put a hand on Zack’s thigh to stop him. We both looked at her.
“Zack, let him finish.”
He nodded quietly and turned his attention back to me. I held his gaze to let him know I was still here for him, “You have to promise to let me get to the end of this. It’s not going to be pretty.”
Zack steeled his jaw, “I know you fucking our best friend isn’t going to be pretty,” He gritted out, a slight look of regret on his face when that slipped out, “I promise.”
How on earth could I describe what happened? Any way I thought of describing it in my head sounded even worse than what actually happened. I just had to go on instinct, “Yes, it lasted a long time. I figured if this was going to happen, I may as well lose myself in it for as long as possible. I knew you’d be with her all night, so I took advantage of my state. Brian was...well, he was kind of a wreck. He was needy and emotional, just like I was. The result...I can’t describe it. We were both fully in the moment, like we weren’t even us. Yeah, it was intimate. Inappropriate. But the second it was over, that vanished and I was back to being a complete mess without the love of my life. I asked him what the hell had just happened, and that’s when he told me--”
“He explained it to me,” Zack gestured to let me know he wasn’t interrupting, just letting me know I didn’t have to go into it. I took a deep breath.
“I...I was hurting, and yeah Bri knew he was giving me exactly what I needed at that moment, but I gave him something I never should’ve given to anyone but you. I want you to know that I understand that and take full responsibility for it.”
Random tears fell down his beautiful cheeks and goddammit I felt like shit. I was still angry, but equally angry at him and myself. He wiped at his tears with one hand as Violet stroked the other. Their easy affection pulled at something within me and I wondered if I would ever have that with her to the extent that he did.
When I didn’t immediately go on, he asked quietly, “Did you sleep with him?”
“Yes. I couldn’t go back to our bed. But like I said, once the sex was over--our moment was gone. We didn’t cuddle or anything, if that’s what you’re wondering. We went right back to being just friends, just like we always have. It hasn’t changed anything, Zack, I promise. If anything, it’s a relief to finally understand Haner’s thing with me. I’ve always wondered, but now it makes sense.”
Resolution finally reached his pretty green eyes as he put a hand on mine, “I’ll never forgive myself for driving you into his bed.”
I pulled my hand back. He had to know how hurt I was, and I wanted to get it over with. Turning slightly away from him, I just leaned over elbows to knees and stared at the floor, “What about your night, Z? How did you walk out that door, get in a car, drive all the way to her place, ride up that elevator, and step through her door? Sober?”
I stood on instinct and he followed, his brow furrowing, “I was angry--”
“And just because you were angry meant you could throw away our marriage vows?!”
When Violet stepped between us, I was thankful. We really did need a mediator. I would’ve said some things I would’ve regretted. I angrily stared down my husband, even as she put both hands to my chest.
“Matt, sit down.” Her voice was mostly calm, but when my gaze moved to hers, I could see the underlying fear there. She was scared of me? I instantly calmed, my anger once again melting into sadness. I fell into her amethyst gaze, touching her hair. Maybe this part would be easier if I heard it from her.
“How was he when he first came to you?”
We all hesitantly sat back down as her cheeks burned red. It would’ve been adorable outside these circumstances. When she finally looked at me, she had become the woman that my husband turned her into when he changed.
Violet cleared her throat, caught off guard that I had brought her into this argument, “The, uhm...the first time…” I tried to hide my cringe when she said first time, “He just charged in my apartment and demanded me. I couldn’t deny him, even though I knew it was wrong. His eyes glittered with hurt and dominance and lust. It was primal, like he was marking me,” She had curled into the back of the deep couch again, holding her own arms as she confessed, “I’d never felt so wanted, so cherished.”
I was struck by just how different their relationship was. We were both in love with the same man, yet the reasons why weren’t. At least not all of them. But instead of the jealousy and confusion I expected, I found understanding. I might not know exactly what she was feeling for him, but I did know what it felt like to love him. I was, however, still hurting over that night.
I was still stunned over how much she loved what she did to me. I constantly wondered if I was being overbearing or downright an asshole, since I’d never been like this before, but to her it was endearing. The fact that I’d made her feel more wanted and cherished than she ever had made my insides burn and my chest ache. My heart skipped a beat when she finally raised her wide eyes to mine.
“So how many times were there?”
My attention snapped back into the moment as I looked at the partner that I’d hurt. His brow was furrowed and his hazel eyes were boring into my soul. I shifted uncomfortably. Now it was my turn to spill the most traitorous moments of the night. When I’d given myself to her.
“There was only--”
I squeezed Violet’s hand to let her know I should tell him. She and I exchanged a quick look that had us both blushing. It had been quite a night, one that Matt shouldn’t have to deal with. As much as I wanted to continue holding her hand, I let go and focused on my husband. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I went on.
“We had sex twice. But...the second time...uh, lasted awhile. And…” My eyes misted over and dropped to the floor, “Something happened that second time. It was…”
I looked at Violet momentarily with a weak smile. Yes. Yes it was. Not that we should be telling him that, though. Right? I made myself look at Matt. He was questioningly looking back and forth between me and her, “Yes. It was amazing. Intimate. Like you said, I...I gave her something I never should have without your permission.”
The sudden shock of realization that struck across his rugged good looks frightened me. I feared whatever words were going to come out of his mouth next.
“You made love to her?”
His voice cracked, our eyes met, and my heart stopped. He sounded so betrayed, as he should have. It sounded so bare, so awful, when he just threw it out there like that. I think we both understood something like that had happened between me and Violet, but now the solid truth of it all was hitting him hard. When those hazel eyes misted over, I had to look away. God, I was an asshole.
I nodded, hating myself, “Yes.”
Before I could explain further, Matt hid his sadness with anger and bit out, “I thought you didn’t need my permission anymore.”
Trying to control my innate reaction to a comment like that, I stood up again in defiance and he followed. But he was right. I took a deep breath, “I was outta line. I know that. I’m your husband and that means we talk first. Not walk out like I did, or demand point blank like you did.” I shakily stood my ground. I knew I had a point, but wasn’t sure this was the time to make it. His eyes searched mine and I breathed a little in relief when I could see him relax. Dropping his gaze, he folded his arms, “Yeah. I know.”
We were both suddenly pulled out of our moment when we heard the quiet sniffles of the beautiful woman on the couch. Dammit, I wasn’t sure if I could handle them both being sad because of me at the same time. I quickly sat back down next to her and put a hand on her thigh, “Violet?”
She nervously raked her fingers through her long hair, tossing it to one side before finally raising her eyes to mine. There she was. That beautiful soul bared just for me. I cherished that look.
“You made love to me?”
Instead of backing down, I clasped her chin lovingly with a thumb and a finger so she wouldn’t look away, “Yes, beautiful. Isn’t that what you would’ve called it?” I reverted to the dominance she so craved in me and laid it all out for her, “Violet, I know that scares you. But sooner or later you’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that what we have is real.”
I had to kiss her, she was being so vulnerable and sweet. Her lips were salty, soft, and trembling. Pulling away, I ran a thumb over her cheek as I waited for her to answer me.
She looked from me up to Matt, sniffling, “I shouldn’t have let it go that far, Matt. Something did happen that night,” Her eyes dropped, “Something I’m not sure I’m ready for. I’m sorry we did that to you.”
The silence had me holding my breath as I watched Matt. He glanced over her face before raking his hands over his face and through his hair, the frustration clear in every movement. She was trying to hold back her tears, but they ran down her cheeks and I could tell he was fighting the instinct to give up and let her get away with everything.
His facade finally cracked. Taking her face in his large hands, he kissed her tenderly--surprising both of us. It was short--a gesture to show us he was headed in the direction of forgiveness. Sitting back in place, Matt gazed at Violet, “This isn’t going to be easy, Vi. I’m an extremely jealous lover when it comes to him.” My chest tightened, “But I have to let this go. I will, I promise. It’ll take time, but that’s okay.” When his eyes moved to mine and he intertwined his fingers with mine, my heart stopped, “Just promise me one thing, Zackary.”
“Anything, Matty,” I breathed out, my whole world focusing in on him like it always used to.
“If it doesn’t work out between the three of us, you can’t leave me.”
My heart hurt. How could he even think I would ever do that? I hurried into his arms as he stood up, pressing my lips to his as my arms went up around his neck, “That’s one thing you never, ever need to worry about, honey. I promise.”
His long fingers stroked my hair gently as the love bloomed in his eyes, “Is there any way you’ll be able to forgive me?”
The Violet effect fell away momentarily as he held me, “Can you promise me you’ll never touch Brian again?”
“Not even if you’re there begging me,” His dimples came out on full show as he squeezed me tighter, “I promise.”
I smiled so big it almost hurt my cheeks. He’d said enough and I was more than happy to move on from this. I reached out for Violet.
I gazed up at them as they kissed and fondly looked upon one another. Their adoring moments together were unlike anything I’d ever felt for anyone. It was at that moment, that I realized how much I wanted that--with them. It was incredibly risky, but if it was even remotely possible to earn that kind of affection from them--I’d be the luckiest woman in the universe.
Zack held out his hand and I took it. Pulling me up, they opened up to me and each welcomed me into their embrace. When I looked up to meet Matt’s honey eyes, he gave me one last stern look, “Violet, promise me you’ll be open with me about your feelings for both me and for Zack. We have to all promise not to hide anything if it’s going to work.”
I couldn’t have agreed more, “No more secrets.”
Matt leaned down to kiss me. After our lips met for only a quick moment, Zack leaned in to kiss me. Then they sweetly kissed each other.
Could this actually work? I was dying to find out.
Whew, that was a tough one to write but they got through it!! Now what?
Please hang there, there's lots of romance and smut to come!!!!
Vi wants to try this, but will they truly satisfy her?