Come Back To Me
Violet had been such an angel. Or the devil on my shoulder. Or both.
Now I stood watching her sleep as I swirled the whiskey in my glass. I needed a cigarette. Or ten.
Taking one last longing look at the seductive form only partly covered in a sheet, I quietly went out onto her deck. She’d done quite a job of distracting me for a few hours--staying up with me and drinking and more fucking. I’d held it together fairly well until the last few moments of our last session. The emotion and the liquor combined with the intense orgasm hit too hard and I’d locked onto her gaze way too deeply. Something was said without words as we came together that had almost shattered my world. I dared not admit to myself what it was.
I had no idea what to think anymore. It was unfair to do this to her, to put this on her shoulders--but I couldn’t help it. Whether it was my fight with my husband or honest to goodness feelings between me and her, only time would tell I guess. But as I looked through the glass at her and let the nicotine hit, all I could think is that this was right. She was right. Even if it was among other things that were totally wrong.
I took a shaky breath and another drink as I attempted to tell myself this would all work out. I was unbelievably fucking pissed at my husband, but he was still the love of my life and nothing would ever change that--even him being an asshole. But fuck if I was going to admit that to anyone, least of all Violet--or him. Matt would have to beg me for forgiveness if it killed me. And only after I’d stewed for fuck knows how long.
I’d never been this angry at anyone before and it made thinking rationally seem like the world’s hugest feat. I couldn’t stop thinking about all the times he’d been there for me and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t be there for me through this. When I looked at her I saw so many endless possibilities, all of which I was quite unnervingly curious about. Every time with her was drastically different and I wanted, no needed, to experience all her other sides, explore those possibilities. She was strong and confident, yet had a softer side that she’d let us both see that I was fairly sure few others saw. Was her inability to stay monogamous truly what she thought it was, or had she maybe just not found the right one? Ridiculous. My head was definitely not on right and I couldn’t stop the thoughts from swimming.
The way I saw it--I’d rather find out and explore and have fun and possibly get hurt in the end than not bother pursuing her at all. For the first time in my life I didn’t want Matt’s protection, I wanted freedom to pursue this--pursue her, whatever that meant. Why was he being such a dick about this? Was I overreacting? No, absolutely not. Then it struck me--what if Matt couldn’t love this new side of me and that’s what this was about? That thought didn’t sit well at all. I couldn’t live without him, yet I’m not sure I could live with myself if we didn’t at least try things out with this voracious woman.
My mind was so tired of racing yet couldn’t stop. When I went to bite the next cigarette out of its home, I realized how many I’d already had while ruminating miserably and stopped myself. Maybe holding her while she slept would help calm this alpha in me that she had created.
Throwing back the rest of the brown liquor, I crawled back into bed with her. Like it was second nature, she curled up in her sleep to my chest--and I finally relaxed.
I had him on all fours, I had him with his feet on my chest, I had him chest to back. I was in a mood and that meant I could last all night. Fortunately--Brian was built to take it all night. I got lost in the sea of consolation, not caring that this was beyond so very wrong for so many reasons. But Brian felt incredible and I couldn’t help it when he looked back at me with that look in his eyes that said he needed me. When I finally came inside him, it was as I peered into those pretty brown depths as they shined back at me.
“Ohhh, Matthew….” Brian mewled as he came hard and long on himself, over my hand, while he gripped my shoulders and dug his heels into my ass. The delicate lines of his face contorted in ecstasy, but the slits of his desperate eyes never left mine. My own orgasm went on for ages--jet after beautiful jet making me feel like I was gonna pass the fuck out. I grunted and whined as Brian pulled every last drop from me, unable to look away from the naked intimacy we were sharing in that heavenly moment.
As our climaxes withered away, I sighed down at my best friend. What the ever living fuck? I kissed his temple to let him know I wasn’t mad at him, and gently pulled out. Brian made a gasping moan sound that made me wrinkle my brow at him before I crawled to the other side of the bed and sat in shame.
Not only had I just cheated on my husband, I’d confused the shit out of a line between me and Haner. I couldn’t stand it.
“What was that, Brian?” I finally blurted out, gripping the edge of the bed for any form of stability. I knew he’d know what I meant. There was way too much intimacy in what we’d just done to be explained away by circumstances.
“Um….look, Matt…” I could hear the blush in his shaky alto, “I...I’ve kinda always craved that experience with you.”
As much as I didn’t want to face him right now, I turned immediately, “Experience??”
He raised his sheepish brown eyes to look at me from under his lashes, “Don’t worry, I’m not in love with you or anything. I just...I’m...I’m lonely.”
I scoffed probably more than necessary, “You? Lonely?”
The brunette furrowed a brow at me, “Yes, me. I’ve always wanted what Zack has with you. But, ya know, with someone else. What you guys have is unheard of, Matt. How you take care of him and love him so unconditionally? How hard do you think it is for me, seeing that every damn day?”
Now I was the one blushing and looking down. Unconditionally. Now I felt really guilty. For so many reasons, “Bri, I…”
Brian sat up and scooted closer, “Look, don’t worry about me or anything. Maybe I’ll find what you have one day, maybe I won’t, but I genuinely do love seeing you two happy--most of the time,” He smiled wryly, “I’ll talk to Zack. Just...don’t go too hard on him, k?”
I huffed, “He walked out on us, Bri. Just walked the fuck out. No talking, no fighting, just see ya later, I fuck women now.” I folded my arms angrily.
Haner gave me a chiding look, “You know that’s not fair, once you consoled yourself with me.”
I looked away, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
Brian shook his head and put a hand on my arm until I looked his way again, “Why don’t you sleep here so you don’t have to sleep alone--or in the bed you share with him--and we’ll talk about this more in the morning?”
I relented, albeit totally planning on not talking in the morning.
“And Matt?” I looked over just in time to catch the quick kiss he planted right on me, his mocha eyes going soft after, “Thank you. You’ve always been the great pack leader, and tonight you took very good care of me. I’ll never forget it.”
I flushed again, making myself look back at him earnestly, “Brian, we took care of one another. I won’t forget that either.”
I snuggled back into the warm embrace that was holding me. I couldn’t believe how well I fit there, how good he felt. Again, I was normally the one doing the holding. But not with Zack.
It was as the little smile donned on my lips that it suddenly donned on me. My entire being froze before I gently began squirming out from his arms. Despite how hard my heart was beating, once I was free I couldn’t help but stare at him. Fuck he was too beautiful.
But it shouldn’t matter how beautiful he was--this was way too dangerous. I didn’t want to hurt him again, and I had suddenly realized just how deep in I was. The way he had taken me the night before...it had been so primal, so intense, yet--intimate and….possessive.
Right now, his black hair covered one of his eyes, the long lashes of the other barely visible. His plush lips were partly pressed against the pillow, the one visible piercing shining in the dark light before the morning arrived. Tears out of nowhere pricked my eyes as panic gripped my cold heart. Where was this coming from?
Pulling on my robe, I quietly crept outside to brood.
The nicotine hit me and I sighed in relief. I ran a hand down my face. What the fuck was I doing? As much as I wanted to tell myself that Zack was just fun, with another side of a fun Matt, I knew there was more to it. For him, and for me. Matt had warned me--twice--and I hadn’t listened well enough. I knew how this story ended and it was would be with my gaze wandering and them getting hurt. While I could see why Zack was upset, I began wondering if Matt was in the right here.
Whatever else happened between Zack and I, I knew first I had to help fix things between him and his first love.
As if someone could read my thoughts, I got a text from Brian.
Is Zack with you? We gotta find a way to get these two to talk. Can I come over?
Relief flooded over me that I’d have help.
Absolutely. I’ll start breakfast.
As hard as my dick was when I woke up, the smells that filled the air made my stomach take first priority. She was making me breakfast?
Only pulling on my boxers, I rubbed my eyes and shuffled from her bedroom. I wasn’t ready for the image that hit me. The second I saw Brian sitting at the kitchen island, I saw red.
“Get the fuck out, Haner. This doesn’t concern you.” I hissed, giving him a warning look as I stalked his way. Violet put a pan away, wiped her hands off on a towel, and headed towards me. I threw the warning look now at her, “And you. I thought last night might’ve meant something, guess I was wrong. This,” I pointed at Brian, “Is you betraying me.” Hurt clutched at my heart.
“Zack,” She gingerly pressed her body to mine, her hand over my heart. I couldn’t bring myself to stop her, “Last night…” That blush that only I could bring to her cheeks settled as she dropped her gaze and raised it again, “Meant….perhaps too much to me. But you’re married. To Matt. Please just listen to Brian and I’m going to talk to your husband.”
“Oh, no you’re not.” I held her by the waist to me with a sarcastic lightness in my tone.
“Uh, damn. You weren’t kidding. It is totally hot,” Brian suddenly stood next to us, arms folded and smirking down at me. I was not amused.
“I’ve never seen you act like this, Z. Kind of a turn on, can’t deny it,” He shrugged, “Anyway, you’re going to let her leave so I can talk to you and so she can talk to him. Honestly, he needs a woman’s touch and you need a man’s.”
“She is not touching him and you aren’t coming anywhere near me.” I snarled.
Brian arched a brow, “Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on cumming anywhere near you,” His smirk changed as he gave me his best puppy eyes and got serious, “I’m not kidding. Please, I have some things I need to get off my chest. This isn’t just about you and Matt.”
A lump rose in my throat. I had no idea what he meant by that, and was pretty sure I didn’t want to. Violet took the opportunity of my surprise to kiss my cheek, stroking my hair,
“I’ll be right back, sexy. Please, just...keep an open mind.”
I watched her leave and could almost feel her take the alpha in me with her. Brian grabbed my hand and led me over to the couch, sitting me down and turning me to face him.
“Spit it out, Bri. I’m about to be sick to my stomach.” His reaction of putting the closest little trash can within reach really didn’t calm me down.
He ran a hand through his spiky black hair, cheeks turning a deep red, “Zack...my...now ex-boyfriend tried to rape me last night.”
My dread flashed into immediate anger, “That fuckface--”
Brian put a finger to my lips to shush me, “Thank god Matt was there. He overheard us, stormed in, beat the shit out of him, threatened him, and threw him out.”
I was a little embarrassed when my first reaction was how much I wanted to see Matt in action. I threw my arms around Haner’s neck, “Thank fuck, Bri. You okay?”
He nodded and backed away a little, “I have somewhat of a confession, Zack.”
Uh oh. Here it comes. The confession I always knew was there that we all ignored. Sheepish brown eyes finally raised to meet mine.
“Before you assume the worst, I’m not in love with your husband.”
“You’re not?” Could’ve fooled me.
“Look...you and Matt have been in love since practically junior high. You have this fairy tale story romance and he cares so much for you, dude. You’re adorable and he’s hot as fuck, but I swear I’m just jealous because that’s what I want. Not Matt.”
“Really?” It came out as a whisper because I’d always wondered. I guess that made sense, “Honestly? I’m kinda relieved.”
“Yeah, well, don’t be relieved yet.” His sad chuckle made the lump in throat come back so fast and intense I almost choked. Brian gave me the saddest look I’d ever seen and stroked my cheek with a finger, “I’m so sorry, Zack. I told you that so you’d understand a little more when I told you that after Matt kicked him out...we kind of…”
This wasn’t happening. I put a hand to my stomach, “Please, Bri, you didn’t.”
A single tear slid down his cheek, “We were just consoling each other, Zack. It didn’t mean anything. The adrenaline of the fight with Channing and his fight with you, and he’d been drinking--”
I grabbed the trash can just in time to throw up in it. My head swam. The tears came. When arms encircled me and held me tight, I didn’t stop him. I just broke down.
No matter how much I knew I couldn’t be mad, I was. Insanely jealous and pissed off and sad. Then ashamed because this must be how he felt. The emotions clouded all my thoughts as I blocked out the world and dissolved in Brian’s arms.
I was elated to find Brian gone when I got up. Chugging some water, I went for a run to clear my head.
It always felt nice, hitting the pavement with music blasting when you really needed to escape. But the second you stop, the world comes crashing back. Unfortunately, when I got back to the house--there she was.
Slowly taking my earbuds out as I caught my breath, I watched her rake her eyes over my naked torso. Somehow, after everything that had just happened and as pissed off as I was--my body still wanted her.
“You got a lotta nerve, woman.”
She did looked ashamed, not a look that suited her well. I crossed my arms, just to further unnerve her, which worked. Violet tugged at the back of her neck, shifting nervously, “Matt, while I see where Zack is coming from, I….I should have heeded your warning more than I did. I’m human and I failed because he came to me looking so broken and angry. I see now that you were just looking out for him.”
I hated this so much. My chest hurt, unlike it ever had before. I fired a look at her, “Yes. Yes I was.”
She dared to step closer, and I walked past her with a sardonic laugh when she stubbornly followed me inside.
“Matt, maybe you’ll just have to let him make his own mistake on this one.”
“This one being you?” I fired back.
“Yes,” She shakily stood her ground, “I’ll fuck it up, and he’ll come crawling back to you and have to admit you were right.”
What I said next wasn’t even something I knew I was thinking, and it caught me so off guard it brought tears to my eyes, “Or he’ll leave me for you.”
Violet’s gaze was transfixed on mine as we tried to figure out one another. I stared down at her, she stared up at me. She blinked away tears, “Is that...do you honestly think that?”
I opened a kitchen drawer to both grab a towel and so that I wouldn’t have to face her, “I guess so, yeah.”
She stepped closer again and I was just about ready to bend her over my knee. I clenched my fists instead of grabbing her, doing my best to listen instead of scream at her like I wanted to.
“Matt, this is just a fight--it’s what normal couples do. Go to him and let him know that while you’re still angry with him for leaving, that you’ll give him more room to make up his own mind in the future.”
I clenched my fingers into my hair, dying to put a hole through something, “You have any idea how helpless I feel!?!” I roared, “He’s needed me since we were teens, Violet! Even when we were with other men, he always needed me on a more emotional level than he ever needed anyone else!” My shoulders sagged as I pictured my young little Zacky, the one that let me protect him.
“He still needs you.”
Sighing at the words, I was surprised when they actually made me feel lighter. I knew I was being a jackass--of course he still needed me. I was just going to have to adjust to the scope of how he needed me, and I wasn't looking forward to it.
When I shook myself out of my thoughts, I realized I was wiping myself down with the towel, and she was fucking staring at me. She needed a cold shower and I was more than fine with giving her one--she certainly deserved as much. In a single move, she was over my shoulder kicking and screaming while I laughed sadistically. A few steps later, there I was--dumping her into the pool.
I felt a little sheepish when he handed me a towel. He’d jumped in after me, but immediately gotten out after a quick cool off.
“Was that good enough, or do I need to spray you with a hose?” He snarked as I took the towel. He got himself one and I refused to look at him so I wouldn’t stare, “I think this serious situation deserves you not eye fucking me, don’t you?”
I certainly wasn’t used to guys not liking it when I checked them out. I folded my arms, “Fine, but you have to put a shirt on or I’m taking mine off,” I huffed.
Matt looked around for a dry shirt and found one on the couch. After he’d pulled it on, he pointed down, “Sit.”
Nervously, I sat next to the angry hunk. While I had come here to talk him down so that he and Zack could make up, I got the impression I was now about to be the one being talked to. Sure enough, once we were both sitting, I had a menacing beast firing golden eyes and a dark baritone at me, “So how is it exactly, Violet, that you feel towards my husband?”
I swallowed hard, my skin pricking. My fight or flight response was now triggered and my heart raced. My skin flushed. I really needed to get a handle on the way these men affected me. Stammering, I tried to pull myself together, “I-I...to be honest...I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” He leaned over me, boxing me into the corner of the couch as I cowered, “Do you love him?”
My eyes widened to saucers. Love? Was he really going there?!
“Matt…” I tried to hold my ground, “I don’t know.”
“Does that mean you don’t know how you feel about me, either?”
I gawked. The question almost knocked the wind outta me. His eyes searched my face for any form of an answer. When neither of us found any, he sat back again before leaning forward on his knees and putting his face in his hands.
After a moment, I rubbed a hand down his back, “Why...why are you bringing us into this?”
His huge shoulders sagged and he scraped his hands down over his face before folding them in front of him. Not looking at me, he continued, “I know I need to give Zack this chance to get what he wants. If it blows up in his face, yeah, I kinda benefit. Doesn’t mean I want him to be hurt...but...you’re what he wants. So if I give him that, I want to know it’ll be like before…” Matt finally leaned back, his eyes now soft and kind as he looked at me, “The three of us, sometimes. Not just me and him, and him and you. So I need to know there’s still something between us.”
I slipped my hand into his with a wary smile, “I think we both know there is, Matt.”
He covered my hand with his other, “It took balls to come here and face me, Vi. Thank you. I think I needed--”
Just then the front door opened--Brian pulling a bleary-eyed Zack behind him. Matt immediately shot up from the couch, ran over to his hubby and wrapped him close. Zack flung his arms around Matt’s middle and both men broke down.
Watching the scene was one of the most emotional things I’d ever witnessed. I stood up and wandered to Brian’s side, unsure what to do next. He put an arm across my shoulders, watery-eyed like I was just watching them.
“See, this is what I’ve had to deal with since high school,” Haner sniffled, trying to lighten the gravity of the situation. Before either of the other two could launch into apologies, Brian urged them towards the elevator.
“I should be going,” I mumbled once they were gone.
Brian cackled a laugh, “You’re not going anywhere, missy. First of all, we need to celebrate our excellent teamwork. Second, they will want to talk to you when they’re done. Third, I need to kick your ass at Modern Warfare.”
I’d be lying if I said being huddled against his chest wasn’t the best feeling in the goddamn universe. But for the first time in my life, I felt like I had to stand my ground..at least a little. He’d held me silently during the elevator ride up, but when the doors opened, I slipped from his grasp and walked into our bedroom with him hot on my heels.
“Zack, please talk to me--”
I turned on a heel, “You guys fuck in here?” I fired a look at him that stopped him cold. I guess there was no reason he should assume that I knew. Before he could reply I spotted the hickey on his neck.
His eyes dropped in shame as he slapped a hand over the dark spot, replying quietly, “No. Brian’s room.”
The room tilted again and I had to sit down. Matt helped me to the edge of the bed, “Zack...you going to be sick? Fuck…”
“No.” I looked at my hands because I couldn’t look at him, “I’ve already thrown up everything. I first got sick about thinking of you cheating on me--”
“Honey--” He grabbed for me and I put a hand up to silence him.
“And then I got sick because I then understood how you must’ve felt,” I finally raised my eyes that had somehow found new tears, to meet his blood shot ones, “I feel awful. I can’t believe I did that to you, or that you did that to me. What do we do here, Matt?”
It was an honest question. I had so many feelings I had no idea how to sort through them. I couldn’t help but smile inwardly though, when Matthew moved to where he was kneeling on the floor in front of me, in between my knees, so he was barely looking up at me. Regret and sadness filled his pretty hazel eyes as his hands rested on my hips. Tell me what to do, Matt.
“Zack, I’d do anything in the universe to take it back. No matter how I felt, that was no excuse. I was so hurt when you walked out on me…” Distracted by his own grief, his eyes fell.
I gently ran my fingers through his hair, “Matty, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry I left. We could’ve talked about it, but I was a stubborn jackass.”
My comment made his mouth twitch with something like mirth, “I’m sorry, too, Zack. Truth is, you were right. I shouldn’t have discounted your opinion because I thought you couldn’t handle it…”
I scooted closer, my arms sliding around his neck and his around my waist. It was an innate reaction, after so many years of comfort. My heart caught in my throat. Did he just say I was right? His golden eyes twinkled before he leaned in to kiss the top of my chest.
“I just want you to be happy. And if you want to talk about giving Violet another chance, I’ll listen.”
My jaw dropped as he straightened again to look at me. It felt too easy, too good to be true. I tried to smile, but I was too shocked, “Are you serious?”
His large fingers threaded through my hair until he had just enough to grip to insinuate how serious he really was. His eyes steeled as his brow furrowed a little, “As a heart attack. It will not be easy, Zackary. You and I will have to mend what just happened, which will be an act in itself. Then we’d have to figure out exactly what you want and what I want and what she wants and how that fits together. I wish I was the type of man, for your sake, that could just sit by and see what happens. But you know me--”
I smiled for the first time in a couple of days, cupping his jaw in both my hands, “Yes, I do. You want a plan, and a plan you shall have.” When I said this, his dimples finally came out from hiding, which made my heart yearn for his closeness, “I understand this will take time and effort and that for the first time ever, our relationship won’t be easy. But I just think I need to try this. Are you sure that’s alright with you? Because if it’s not, I’ll back off. I promise.”
Matt’s eyes softened and then darkened, his face tilting slightly up as he pulled me towards him, “I don’t even care if you’re placating me,” He chuckled deep in his chest, “I’m sure, my love. Now please tell me we can figure out the details after I’ve made love to you.”
My dick stiffened and my heart almost exploded with joy at the words I’d been hoping I’d get to hear by the end of the day.
Zack whimpered lovingly against my kiss, my cock buried deep inside his pliant body. This was everything I needed at the moment and I was so relieved, the tears wouldn’t stop. I’d never felt this many things at once before and it was more than odd. We were so caught up in the moment that we kept going from heartmelting kissing, to staring longingly into one another’s eyes. I couldn’t take the emotion behind those emerald eyes, yet there was nothing I wanted more than to have him looking back at me with that look. I need you.
I rolled my hips so that he’d make that noise again, and couldn’t help but groan when his high-pitched yelps entered my mouth. Our tears mixed together as we made love, our first big step together of moving on. I loved our times like this, when we were so tuned into one another that the connection was tangible and the orgasms were life changing. I knew I wouldn’t have my little Zack around all the time anymore, so I made sure to appreciate my time with him alone while I could.
I’d taken my time with him and made sure he was feeling nothing but pleasure. My needs were non-existent other than my need to make him feel incredible. I wanted him so satiated by the end that he was begging for release. Which was apparently now.
Zack’s thighs started to shake as they held fast to my hips, his little fingers digging into my shoulders. His watery gaze broke from mine as he bit into my collarbone to keep from crying out. I cradled his head in my hand and watched it tip back, his eyelashes fluttering as his plush lips parted.
“I need you to cum inside me, Matty…” He begged, “I’m so close…”
“Anything you want, Zack.”
I deepened my thrusts to get myself off and it didn’t take long at all, “I’m cumming,” I grunted before pulling his lips harshly against mine. As my cum jetted into him, his body went rigid in my arms. His hips rutting up against mine, Zack moaned into my kiss as he came.
The afterglow buzzed and our kiss softened. Almost collapsing over him, I wrapped him in my arms. A few more tears were shed, but I had him back. My hubby.
It was half an hour of cuddling later before I said anything. I knew Brian would most likely keep her entertained, just hopefully not the kind he preferred.
“Would you like to see if she’s still here?”
He looked up at me with wonder in his light green eyes, “You think she, I mean, are you sure? Shouldn’t we talk through some things first?”
“Look...I promise to be honest and I think she can handle that. I really think she should be part of this conversation. Not to mention, for this convo to happen, you should probably be in that state she puts you in,” I smirked and touched his face affectionately to let him know that state was alright with me.
He blushed cutely, “Yeah, okay.” Zack was clearly trying not to act too excited, “Just lemme get dressed.” Then he looked over himself and over at me--a wonderfully flirtatious look in his eyes, “Maybe we should shower first.”
"...my young little Zacky, the one that let me protect him." *cries in the corner*
Holy shit, what just happened? So much! What on earth are they going to cum up with together?!?
And that love scene at the end??? Anyone? Just me? ; ) God, they are so fucking perfect together....