Girl I Know

*~* Molly Jean Gravewood *~*

It had been a little over a week and a half since Matt and I had our little issue. I forgave him but I still felt that my privacy was violated. So was my trust a little bit.

Matt knew he was on thin ice and with how edgy I was being, I'm sure it wasn't helping his confidence and I felt like I couldn't go to Brian anymore. Me and him stayed really good friends after we called it quits.

I threw myself more into work, not really making time for the front man cause I was just still so burned. I'm a very sensitive creature and when left to my own devices...I just over think and wonder if I really am good enough for anyone, let alone myself. This is what happens when my trust is broken. I also started throwing up my walls again which I knew was frustrating Matt.

After traveling to a few shelters around the state of Cali, I had gotten home and was just trying to find homes for these animals. That's the great thing about pets, they legitimately love you unconditionally. They don't ask for anything in return and just want you for you. Humans aren't that simple. The expectations are higher and the chance of getting hurt is even worse...

When I stepped inside my house from dropping off the six dogs I had collected at the vet that I worked closely with, I furrowed my brows and sniffed the air. The aroma of brownies had filled my house.

I looked around and saw Matt's back pack as well as his shoes by the front door. I groaned quietly then walked into the kitchen seeing the vocalist standing by the oven and on his phone.

"Hey..." I greeted him softly.

"Hey," He looked up from the small screen, his eyes filled with sadness while he set the device down, "I wanted to talk to you and I figured over brownies was a good plan."

"I gave up sugar..." I said blandly and moved to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water.

Matt sighed, "You really haven't forgiven me, have you?" His golden green eyes studied me closely, wanting the truth.

I ran my fingers through my blonde locks and threw them up in a messy bun, "You know what? No, I haven't. You fucking hurt me. You violated my privacy. You made me feel less than you over something that ended years ago."

"Molly, I know what I did warrants one fuck of an apology but I don't know what you want from me." He chewed his lip nervously then started pacing.

What makes this even harder is how beautiful he is. Especially with his vulnerability. He paced in his black tee, army green unbuttoned dress shirt and black jeans. He got a nice faded hair cut with the top longer so he could slick it back a bit. Beard tidied up with a good trim that was actually the perfect length to compliment his features.



"Matt...I trusted you. With every fiber of my being and you didn't even give me a real fucking chance...you went through my things. How am I supposed to trust you? Yeah, you're my boyfriend but we don't live together. You had no fucking right. I just wanna jack you in the fucking throat cause I'm so mad at you." I said with too much of an honest streak, finishing my water then grabbing another bottle.

"What can I do?" He had a bit of a begging tone to his voice.

"I don't know. Tell me something that no one else fucking knows that's dirty and you're no exactly proud of. Or something you don't trust anyone with or something that will fucking level the playing field." I snapped then let out a sigh, going over to the kitchen table and just fucking laying on it.

Matt stayed silent for a few minutes then came over to me, having me sit up, "Alright. That seems fair. What I'm about to tell you is going to be upsetting and you're probably gonna hate me but it needs to be said. With hooking up with you...I've...had a security blanket of sorts. I haven't stopped talking to my ex-wife. I haven't hooked up with her since the day we met but I still talk to her like...I need her. She entertains me and makes me feel wanted. I mean you've kinda always been a guaranteed thing but...I still wasn't sure cause my confidence level hasn't been there." He explained.

Basically. I'm not good enough but I'm just good enough to be a sure thing. To be considered easy. Just because I'm a fan. And he's been talking to his ex-wife in a needy way since we started talking.

Wonderful.

"Oh...well...that's fucking dope, dude," I chuckled humorlessly, "Thank you so much." I said with all the sarcasm, "So just...more of me feeling like shit."

"Just...listen. Please." Matt said, pausing for only a moment, "My confidence has been rattled since my divorce cause I was with Valary for so damn long. You were my fan, the girl that I could build my confidence with then I find out Brian's already had a shot. It just...made me feel like second best which I can't deal. So my conversations with Val have increased, especially since you've been gone." The vocalist sighed, like he couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, "I get why you were mad and I get why you're upset now..."

I stepped back a moment, deciding to respond instead of react, "Okay...can...can you maybe stop...talking to your ex-wife in a way that isn't to communicate about the kids. I get that you guys used to be a family but knowing that you are going to her to feel better...is a bummer. I gave up Brian who was my biggest confidant. I'm asking you to just pull back. I promise to share everything with you. I want to be the girl that makes you feel confident...but it was a bit of a fucking slap in the face that you...were kinda using me just to make yourself feel better. Like it being me didn't matter. It could've been anyone at that point." I said angrily.

Matt nodded, "I understand. You deserve to be mad but I want you to know that...you're...what I want. Everything about you..." He said, his eyes locking with mine then looking down at the ground.



"I'm...more than just a confidence booster Matt. I am a human being. I want to feel needed too. Not just because of what I am offering you...with me." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I need you. I wanted to get this cleared up before asking you but...I need you to be on the road with me. We have four months and I want you to feel like you're still the only woman I see in the room...cause...you really are...you're the blonde bombshell I've dreamed of since my divorce. You're so different from what I'm used to. Please...give me a chance. A fucking real one and I'll do the same for you..." Matt promised and his eyes just said that he was being genuine and real with me which made it easy to actually forgive the man. Not hold a grudge.

"Matt...I'm so fucking in love with you. That's why this hurts so much. The privacy thing and now...being used...for you to feel better about yourself. Like...can I even trust that you're in love with me? Can I trust that when you said it, you meant it?" I sighed out, getting a little frustrated and down.

"I did mean it when I said it..." The vocalist sounded hurt.

"I really do hope you can see where I'm coming from..." I grumbled out, chewing my lip so much that I could taste blood.

Matt ran his thumb along my lips, "Stop chewing so hard. I can see where you are coming from. What I'm asking for is forgiveness and...maybe even a clean slate. I will let you look through my phone. I will do whatever it takes to earn you back because I do fucking love you. With all my heart." He had kind of that alpha male tone with me but it was so loving.

"Let me be mad at you..." I whispered and kinda pouted at him, feeling his thumb on my bottom lip.

"You've been mad at me long enough. It's time to heal. It's time to let it go. You're looking at me like you don't wanna hold a grudge so don't." His golden-green eyes studied my features.



I sat in silence for quite some time before I nodded, "Alright. Clean-ish slate. I don't wanna clean slate the good shit. The shit that I think about every morning when I wake up, even when I'm mad at you."

Matt moved my legs apart, standing between them then pressing his hand on the small of my back to pull me closer. He looked over me and pressed a deep, loving kiss to my lips. I pressed my hands to push him away but paused when I felt how rapid his heart was beating. He was scared. Not nervous or excited. Fucking terrified.

I knotted my fingers into his shirt, pulling him closer, "Don't be scared," I breathed against his lips, "Be with me. Only me. Trust me and I'll trust you."

He nodded, "Come on tour with me." He didn't quite demand but it was close enough.

"I'll come on tour with you. Obviously I have to work out some details with the shelter." I nodded back my agreement, smiling up at the front man.

I was shaken to the core when I saw Matt's eyes well with tears, "I am so fucking sorry, Molly. I love you. Be my woman. I will lay here and beg you."

I shook my head, "I don't want you to beg. I'll be your woman. You be my man."

Matt squeezed me into a tight hug I wasn't expecting but it made it all real. Made it just a little better. It made me feel like...I could try to trust him again.

Notes

Hopefully you guys like this chap! It couldn't go amazingly right away! They are only human! hahaha

Thank you all and love you all!