Oh, Baby!

I rubbed my eyes and rolled over sleepily to check the clock. It wasn’t even 8am but I was far too awake to go back to sleep. I pulled myself away from the warmth and comfort of my bed and headed to the bathroom. I inspected myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and sore from crying with dark circles under them and I was deathly pale. I sighed and looked away, rolling my eyes. Whoever said pregnancy made you bloom? It had been two weeks since revealing the bombshell to Brian and he’d not contacted me. I’d not attempted to call him either, I wasn’t sure what reception I’d face. I’d received my ultrasound appointment and had been wondering whether to invite him. I was sure he would be too busy with the tour but I should probably include him all the same. I bit my lip and typed out a message on my phone for him. I rewrote it several times before deciding that short and sweet would be best.
Hey, I have a scan on the 30th at 10.30am at the hospital. Maybe I’ll see you there. Aubrey x and send. I realised I’d been holding my breath and let out a big sigh. I’d drive myself mad if I sat around waiting for a reply so I undressed and stepped into the shower to begin my morning routine. I’d hidden from all my adult responsibilities since arriving home and had a shit load of cleaning to face up to, starting with every single dish I owned piled up in the kitchen sink.

Before I knew it, the whole day had passed and I was heading for bed again, fairly satisfied with my cleaning blitz. I checked my phone for the millionth time. Still no reply. My heart sunk a little. I’d not expected him to want to be involved or to come around so quickly after my revelation, but I’d hoped that he might have a spark of interest at least. No such luck though. I stripped off to get into my night clothes and looked down at my tummy which had a very small, rounded bump. I could just be a bit fat though, right? Maybe there was some mistake, maybe the test was wrong? These things weren’t 100% accurate after all, were they? I pulled a large t-shirt on to cover up my stomach as my phone chimed. I grabbed at it eagerly, hoping for it to be Syn. It wasn’t my first choice of sender but it was certainly intriguing. The message was from Jimmy. I grabbed my cigarettes and headed out to my balcony. I’d not managed to quit yet and honestly? I felt so detached from everything, pregnancy included, that it was difficult to feel guilty about it. I sparked up a smoke as I opened the message.
Hey stranger, are you still alive? J. it read. I was confused as to why Jimmy was actually contacting me for seemingly no reason but replied anyway.
Actually, I wrote, I’m contacting you from beyond the grave. Almost immediately my phone chimed again, signalling a reply.
Glad to hear it. How’s the underworld? I furrowed my brow, unsure of why he was making small talk.
Never a dull day here. And what of the land of the living? I replied, setting my phone down by my feet and looked out towards the ocean. I was lucky to have a sea view from my little apartment but it didn’t calm me tonight like it usually did. Nothing could make the world make sense right now. It was a few minutes before Jimmy’s reply came.
It’s swell for some of us. Syn’s pretty rowdy at the moment. Something happen between you guys? You left so suddenly and he came back totally trashed that day. He’s been fucking weird ever since. I know you’re on vacay to the underworld but can you mail my friend’s soul back first class if you have it with you please? I didn’t know how to reply to this one without giving anything away. Clearly Bri was keeping it to himself. I chose my words carefully.
Jimmy, I needed to take a break from everything for personal reasons. I guess Brian didn’t take it so well. Take care of him for me. I hoped that would satisfy him enough that he’d leave it there. I was far from satisfied though. Sounds like I’ve ruined Syn’s life, temporarily at least. I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with this baby. Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned the scan to him I thought as I stubbed my cigarette out.

I tried to distract myself from the situation in vain. A tear crept down my cheek. I was going to have a baby that I wasn’t supposed to be able to have and I’d be all alone with it. How did this ever happen? I wiped the tear away and shook my head vigorously. I was not going to cry again, I’d done far too much of that the past two weeks and I was going to give myself a break for at least one night. Running a hand through my hair, I headed inside and slipped into bed, hoping to let sleep transport me to a less tumultuous world.

1 Week Later

The morning of my scan rolled around. I’d still not heard from Syn which felt like a kick to the ribs when I was already down. I couldn’t believe he’d cared so little that he hadn’t even acknowledged the message I’d sent last week. I’d not heard further from Jimmy either, or any of Avenged for that matter. I was sat in the waiting room, nervously flicking through a pamphlet about pregnancy. The women in such pamphlets always looked so happy, stroking their bumps with loving smiles. I couldn’t feel further from that if I tried. I’d secretly hoped that Syn would be here with me today, maybe even surprise me by turning up last minute but here I was, alone and heartbroken. My head snapped up as a sonographer entered.
“Aubrey Wilson, please?” she called out. Oh shit, my turn. Time to face up to it. I stood and nervously waved a hand at her as I grabbed my bag with the other. As I approached her she looked me up and down and then eyed my hand with a raised eyebrow. Oh great, she’s checking to see if I’m married. Wonderful. I gave her a small smile, hoping it might restore some of her faith in me.
“Follow me please, Ms. Wilson.” she said, flatly. Hmm, I guess not.

She led the way to a private room with a bed.
“Notes,” she demanded as she motioned for me to lie down. I handed them over. “Undo your jeans and pull your top up,” she said, brusquely. I complied and hitched my tee up. She folded a paper towel over my panties and squirted a large blob of gel over my little bump. She turned the screen away from me and put the probe against my stomach.
“This is your first?” she asked, curtly. I nodded and tried to relax while she worked. She frowned a little at the screen, pressing a few buttons on the machine and then narrowing her eyes at me. “And this is your first scan," she muttered, looking at my notes. "Do you have any idea how far along you are?”
“Uhh, I don’t actually. I was told I couldn’t have children so I never tracked anything or even knew I was pregnant until about 3 weeks ago,” I replied. I swallowed and returned her gaze. “Is everything ok? With the baby, I mean. I’m so scared that I’ve hurt it by not knowing and not doing what I should have been doing to take care of it. The father can’t be here and I’m worried all the stress and crying I’ve done will have hurt it,” I garbled, starting to feel tears pricking at my eyes.
“Everything is fine so far. I haven’t finished the checks yet,” her voice got a little warmer. “Have you been feeling movements at all?”
“Yes, that’s what made me go to the doctor. I actually thought I was maybe dying,” I laughed nervously, wiping at my eyes. She gave me a small smile in return, seeming to be softening.
“Are you ready to see your baby?” Her eyes creased as her smile grew. I nodded, gently. Deep breaths, Aubrey. She turned the screen slowly and I saw my baby for the first time. My breath hitched and a strange kind of amazement spread from top to toe. It looked surprisingly baby shaped, I’d kind of figured they stayed blobby looking for a while but this was far from what I imagined. It had arms, legs, a face. It was actually pretty cute in a weird way and my heart swelled a little looking at it. The baby gave a little wiggle on the screen and I felt a flutter in my stomach. Oh my God, this is real… The sonographer snapped me out of my thoughts.
“Aubrey, I’m not sure what your plans were for this pregnancy but I can tell you that abortion can’t be one of them. The size of baby indicates that you are around 22 weeks pregnant.” Her voice was soft and she’d lost all the harshness she’d had at the beginning of the appointment.
“22 weeks?” I tried not to choke on the shock. “What is that? Like 4 months?” I tried to do the math in my head but my mind was spinning.
“It’s actually about 5 months. Are you ok? Would you like some water?”
“5 months?” I repeated dizzily. “Are you sure?”
“I am,” she nodded. “I know this must be a shock for you but the important thing is that your baby appears perfectly healthy. Listen,” she smiled and hit a button.
Bumbadda-bumbadda-bumbadda-bumbadda-bumbadda.
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat,” she beamed at me as a smile stretched across my face.
“That’s the heartbeat? That fast?” I asked in wonder.
“Yep, it’s a strong little thing, isn’t it? Now, the most important, and fun, question,” she winked at me. “Do you want to know the gender?”
“Absolutely,” I breathed. I felt excited, nervous, sick, ecstatic, terrified… God, every emotion that exists flew through me like electricity at that moment.
“Okay Aubrey, you’re having a-"

Notes

N'awww, it's a little Baby Gates squish in her tummy! But is Aubrey having a boy or a girl? And will Syn pull his head out of the sand? Who knows, I haven't written it yet :D