And They Lived Happily Never After

The alarm clock started ringing into my ears as I reached over and practically hammered it to the floor. I barely opened one eye to see that it was still dark outside, checking my phone to see an unnecessary time of four in the morning. I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them to get used to my surroundings before I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stumbled into my bathroom.

Brian and I went to sleep a little over three hours ago. The time just seemed to slip away from us. Things are definitely different between us as our dynamic is beginning to shift. Right now it's in some awkward grey area. We aren't officially dating or anything, and we are sliding out of a sole friendship. I can't say that I enjoy it, but it will have to work for now.

I can't help but still feel guilty about everything. I know you can't help where feelings grow, because if you could it would be easier not to feel anything for Brian. I have to face my emotions head on to get anywhere that I need to be. I'm still healing from the loss of my beloved husband, and I always will. Matt was my other half, my soul mate. Our love was written in the stars long before we came into existence, but his early departure from life took all of that away. If I had it my way I would still wake up to that beautiful face every morning, but you don't get to choose anything in life. Life chooses for you, and my life is directing me towards Brian, and I have to follow.

It isn't that I don't want to follow. I do have feelings for him, but I am god dammed terrified of losing my best friend if this ends badly. After losing Matt, I have a bit of a salty taste when it comes to love and feelings. I couldn't even sleep with Brian the last couple of hours. I have never had a problem sleeping in his bed with him, but after our talk everything just felt off. I wasn't sure it was a good idea if we shared a bed after talking about our feelings...that's a dangerous territory.

I threw my hair into a messy bun that somehow ended up looking intentional and not messy at all. I slipped into some comfortable clothes for the flight and put on some quick natural makeup to hide the bags under my eyes from little sleep. I could hear one of the boys cooing from their bedroom, so I quietly opened my door just in case anyone was still sleeping and headed to their doorway. I walked in to see a very happy and talkative Matthew staring at the ceiling. As soon as I bent over the side of the crib, his eyes lit up and he started kicking his legs excitedly.

"It's a big day for you, big guy! You get to meet your grandma and grandpa today and ride in a big airplane with Mommy!" I grinned, sweeping him up into my arms as he clapped his hands together.

A loud crash was heard from the hallway as I peaked my head around to see Pixie laughing on the floor as Zacky attempted to help her up.

"What the hell, Pix? You sure do have a ton of energy for someone who is running on little sleep." I chuckled.

"What sleep?" She grinned.

"We kind of...just got home from the bar five minutes ago. All of us." Zacky bit his lip.

"Seriously guys? You do know we have to leave for the airport in thirty minutes?"

"Yeah I've got her, Ives. She just needs a little bit of toast and some water." He baby talked to Pixie who rolled her eyes. She was definitely in her 'I can do everything by myself even though I am completely inebriated' stage.

I looked over the staircase railing to see the rest of the gang sitting at the kitchen island drinking coffee. Everyone else looked fairly sober, even Jimmy. If Pixie out-drank him, that would thoroughly surprise me.

I ran back to the nursery to wake up Kieran, which was usually hard because he slept just like his daddy, like a damn rock. After a few shakes and a couple of tickles, his eyes finally began to flutter open and he sent me the same smile I received from Matthew. I bent down and scooped him into my free arm so I could get them into their high chairs for some breakfast downstairs.

"Good morning, gorgeous! How are my boys?" Jimmy smiled taking another sip of his coffee.

"I think the three of us are all better than you all are right now." I smirked.

"Hey, we're fine. We knew we had to go through the hell hole that is airport security. Your best friend was the one who didn't get the memo." Johnny nodded his head towards Pixie who was attempting to make it to the kitchen on her own.

"Ivy are you mad at me?" She pouted while crawling towards me. I handed the babies to Johnny and Jimmy before helping her onto a chair, not being able to control my laughter. I haven't seen her this hammered since our first year of college.

"I'm not mad at you sweetie, but you're definitely going to need to sober up or we aren't catching our flight." I chuckled, grabbing some water from the fridge and popping some toast into the toaster for her.

"When that's done, only put a touch of butter on it for her. She doesn't like jam." I told Johnny before making my way upstairs to see if Brian was up. When I reached his door I could see the light on through the cracks. I knocked softly, calling his name out a couple of times before opening the door slowly to see him closing his suitcase on his bed.

"Perfect timing, I think I need some help. Can you sit on it while I zip?" He frowned.

"Brian I think you packed more than me and Pixie combined." I laughed, jumping onto the case as he requested to ease the closing process. As he rounded the final corner of his suitcase, I hopped off and sat next to his bags on the bed. Silence filled the air between us, it was an unfamiliar feeling to both me and Brian.

"So um...how did you sleep?" He asked clearing his throat.

"I slept alright for the little sleep I did get. How about you?"

"I couldn't sleep after, you know, everything...I just messed around with some new music and started getting ready for the big day."

I nodded my head in understanding, twiddling my thumbs and looking around his room. "I don't like this Brian...I should have never said anything. I can't even look you in the fucking eyes." I sighed, staring at my feet that were sliding over the carpet repeatedly.

"I can't say I enjoy this much either, Ives. Considering where we started and what we've been through, I feel like this was bound to happen. I feel like this is the only way it can happen. The whole awkward from friends to lovers stage."

"Ugh Brian don't call us lovers that makes it sound...cheesy." I rolled my eyes.

"What would you like to call us then?" He raised his eyebrow, sitting next to me on the bed but leaving a couple of inches between us after he saw me tense up.

"Assholes." I mumbled, standing up and pacing his floor in front of the bed.

He watched me walk back and forth for a couple of minutes, no conversation happening. Finally he grabbed me by the arm gently, stopping me from my continuing movement and pulling me back down next to him.

"Ivy just...stop. I didn't want anything that happened last night to ruin what we had. Just...forget I said anything at all. Forget about last night." He sighed, leaving the room with his bags and leaving me there to let his words sink deeper into my conscience.

Forget about everything? Sure, let me just forget the overwhelming emotions that radiated from both of us for three hours straight. Let me just forget about the fact that I am falling in love with my dead husband's best friend. Easy peasy.

I ran to my room to grab my bags along with the boys' stuff before throwing it by the front door at the bottom of the stairs.

"Everyone grab their shit, it's time to leave for the airport!" Zacky called out to all who were in the house. Pixie was sitting on the floor next to the door eating the last remaining crumbs of her toast. She was beginning to become more coherent.

"Alright who is riding with who?" Jimmy questioned, slamming the trunk shut of his SUV. Johnny was already sitting in Jimmy's front passenger seat, with Zacky in one of the backseats.

"I'll ride with the guys." Brian looked at the ground, avoiding eye contact with me.

"Yeah, fine, whatever. I'll take the babies and Pixie in my car, then." I bit my lip and walked over to help get the boys and Mattison situated in their car seats. Brian looked over at me for a minute as I felt him staring me up and down before he climbed into the back seat with Zacky, the guys getting a small head start on us as they left the drive way.

I closed my door, slightly frustrated from the start of my early day, and began following Jimmy's SUV to the airport that was half an hour away.

"I might be coming out of being completely trashed, but what the fuck was that, Sanders?" Pixie motioned next to me.

"Pix, language. We have the kids."

She moved her seat belt over and stretched her body out over them in the backseat. "Nah, they're all passed out, it's fine" she said breathlessly as she began to get re-situated in her rightful seat. I stared at the road in front of me, purposefully avoiding her question as she rolled the window all the way down and lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke outside as she hung her head out of the window slightly. "Normally I wouldn't with the kids, but this will help me sober up quickly in order to have this conversation." She chuckled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Baker." I shrugged, tapping my fingertips along the steering wheel, my focus on the road more intense than ever before I heard Pixie gasp loudly.

"You had sex with Brian last night, oh my god!"

"What? Pixie, no. Not at all."

"You did something. I've never see you two so tense around each other in the two years we've been a group."

"We just...kissed, it was nothing."

"Oh my God you kissed?! Tell me everything!"

"There isn't much to tell." I sighed.

"I'm your best friend. Either you're going to tell me everything or I will get my information from other sources. You know better than to test me." She smirked.

"We just...it was one kiss. I told him that...God...I fucking told him I had feelings for him, Pixie. He told me he's loved me since he first saw me at the club and now everything is out of balance. I can't even look at him for more than two seconds without becoming uncomfortable."

"Oh my sweet, dear, naive, Ivy." Pixie chuckled, throwing her cigarette out the window. Smoking seemed to do the trick in sobering her up as much as possible. "Did you think no one knew?"

"What...do you mean, Pix?"

"Ivy, we all knew. This entire time it was obvious that Brian had feelings for you. It was Brian's not- so-well-kept secret, and he did a terrible job of hiding it, especially after Matt's passing. Ever since we became a group he has made remarks about your beauty, he's harmlessly flirted, and we all noticed it. It's just...it was Brian. He had Michelle, you had Matt, and that was that. None of us knew we were going to lose Matt, and I sure as hell know that Brian didn't think that bitch Michelle was going to drop him after he lost his best friend. Sometimes things fall into place in odd ways. I know it isn't easy to think about...Matt being gone...but maybe he wasn't meant to be your soul mate after all."

"Pixie how could you say that? Matt was my entire world. My everything. It was supposed to be him and I forever." I sniffled, stray tears escaping.

"I'm not saying that Matt was never supposed to happen. I know you love him with your entire soul...we all did. None of us were ready for him to leave. What I am saying is that...what's meant to be, will be. If there is something going on between you and Brian, don't be your damn usual stubborn self. Don't push him away when he wants to be there for you. Just let things...be. Let them happen the way they are supposed to. What do we always say?"

A small sigh left my lips as I wiped another tear, "Don't interfere with fate."

"That's right. And what are you doing by being an ass to Brian because you feel guilty for having normal, human emotions?"

"Interfering with fate." I sighed again, this time more dramatically.

"Right again. Don't ruin your connection over something like this. If you need a break from him, talk to him about it like a normal adult. If you want to explore your feelings, tell him that also. Either way, I will personally make sure every seat on this flight is taken except for the one next to him, and you have a whole hour to sort things out before we get home."

"Pixie have I ever told you how god damn frustrating it is when you're right?" I growled.

"Plenty of times in our nineteen years of best friendship, honey." She grinned, both of us looking ahead at the airport parking lot.

Security was a breeze, and before I knew it we were walking onto the plane. I tried to fight to make it to the front of our group, but Pixie knocked me around like we were in a roller derby rink to ensure I was last. She wanted me to be an adult, but I didn't know if I could do this right now. I just wanted to be home with my family and the hot, sunny beaches of Huntington.

I noticed that Johnny was struggling to get his bag into the overhead compartment, and tried to seize the opportunity of stealing his seat next to Jimmy. Pixie practically dove into the aisle to grab my ankle to stop me.

"What the fuck did I say, Sanders?!" She grunted, struggling to keep a strong hold.

I glared down at her before rolling my eyes and collapsing into the seat next to Brian, who looked shocked to see that I was the one who decided to sit with him. He looked at me for a second before looking back out the window, placing his headphones in. Maybe this wasn't going to be a bad flight after all.

I relaxed into the seat, grabbing my headphones out of my bag before I heard someone clear their throat loudly and dramatically. I turned around to see Pixie still throwing me a death glare. "Be a fucking adult, Ives." She whispered with a slight growl. I let out a small whine to the confusion of the rest of the group, before staring at my fidgeting hands in my lap. I took a few deep breaths before tapping Brian on the thigh lightly.

He looked over and took one of his headphones out, a confused expression on his face again.

"We need to talk, Bri." I practically whispered, trying to find the courage and mental strenght to do this now.

"I didn't think there was anything to talk about. You said this was all a mistake, right? Why don't we just go back to completely ignoring our feelings for each other so we can remain civil best friends." Ouch. I've never seen him have such a...petty...reaction to anything.

"You know what? I'm sorry for being terrified, Brian. I am so god damned scared of everything that could come out of you and I. What if we continue to fall madly in love with each other and get married? And what if on the way to the fucking honeymoon, with my luck, you get killed by some random asshole too? What if we make it past the honeymoon. Yeah, let's start there. We settle down, we buy a house, we decide to have children. We have a beautiful baby boy or baby girl to give the twins a sibling, and then out of nowhere I fucking lose you, too and I am forced to raise another child without a father. I would be a complete failure twice in life. Maybe I can set some records." I spat and sunk into the seat further, breathless, angry, seething. My eyes were narrowed onto the seat in front of me as I felt the plane lift into the air, the noise from the loud engine filling the cabin.

I could feel Brian tense up next to me. He didn't know what to say. I really don't think anyone would at this point. I tried to control my breath as I felt his hand reach slowly for mine, taking it in his and squeezing gently. That was his signal for to me to look at him. His face had a reaction I haven't seen since Matt's funeral. Pain.

"No one was ready to lose him, Ivy. I know you loved him...love him. You lost your husband, and the father of your children...and I can't imagine how hard that is. I never want to have to imagine that...but I also lost someone important to me. I lost my life long best friend. Matt saved me from myself more times than I can count. He may not have been my entire world like he was for you but he was a large part of it. I miss him so fucking much I can't stand it sometimes, Ives but...I need you to know, that no matter what happens, I'm not going anywhere without a fight. I will stand by your side, and the boys for the rest of my life. You three...are my world." I looked up to see that he was crying, and his eyes were staring right through me.

I tightened my grip on his hands. "I don't want to rush anything, but I want you to know that...I won't push you away, either. You don't interfere with fate," I turned to look at Pixie, who had a small grin on her face as she was clearly eavesdropping on the conversation, "and I don't want to lose my best friend. I do love you, Brian. You've been the best thing to happen to me and the kids since we lost Matt and I could never thank you enough for all that you've done. I want you to always be the one to wipe my tears away, and to comfort the boys when they get upset because of how fantastic you are with them. I want you around for as long as you want to be around."

"Forever wouldn't be long enough." He smirked, pulling my chin close as he placed a soft kiss on my lips. We smiled against each other's lips as cheers erupted from the group, everyone clapping and causing a small scene. "We won't rush, but we won't interfere with fate." He agreed.

I lifted the arm rest between us and cuddled into his side, his arm wrapping around my shoulders as I placed my head into his neck. We both looked out of the window to see the beautiful blue ocean we have all missed underneath us.

We were home, together.

Notes

HELLO HELLO HELLO!

So this is a surprise update! I wasn't supposed to be back until 10 days from now, but ya girl officially finished her final semester of college as of yesterday, and I graduate in 5 days with my Bachelors degree in Teacher Education. If you read the previous chapter, which was an author's update about my small hiatus from writing, prepare for a small update on that update RIGHT NOW! Obviously, I am done with school which was a stress I mentioned. My cat Pringles is doing fantastic, and she has gained all of her weight back and is SO loving and happy again. My Fiance is still struggling with his mental health, but getting better with each new day. He is now in therapy once a week (his therapist is a literal angel and we love him to death), and he was put on a new anti-anxiety medication that seems to be helping more than anything he has ever been prescribed. He turned in the paperwork to officially withdraw from this semester medically, and will restart his Masters program in August for the fall semester. He is still on a medical leave from work, but has begun to apply for new employment opportunities that he is excited about, and I couldn't be more proud of how much he has kicked ass the last two months. He has impressed me with his strength and determination, and I am so glad everything is improving. That's why I found some extra time tonight to put out this little surprise chapter! My next update I will be saving for my ACTUAL return date of 5/24, as the next week will be overrun with my graduation and family visits (and being away from my hell job for a whole week!). Until then, enjoy this slice, and leave me feedback on either the chapter, or just tell me how you've been! I missed you all.

xxoo,
Leagh