Can't Remember to Forget You

"You do realize that you're going to have to leave my apartment at some point today," I said, leaning against the door frame of my bedroom. Somehow, Zacky had managed to weasel his way into my bed last night under the rouse of being more comfortable while watching Footloose. And he'd looked so peaceful when he fell asleep that I didn't have the heart to kick him to the couch.

Zacky just groaned, tugging the covers up over his face. "But I don't wanna," he whined.

I chuckled. I'd be lying a little if I said I thought this wasn't cute. "Tell you what," I started, walking over to the bed. I sat down next to him. "If you cook me breakfast while I'm in the shower, I'll let you stay until I have to leave for the show tonight."

I heard Zacky cheer softly beneath the covers and I chuckled again. He shoved the comforter away from his face. "If it meant I got to stay here, I'd cook you a seven-course meal," he said. He smiled. "I love having a girlfriend to cook for again."

"Uh whoa, nobody said anything about me being your girlfriend," I said. The thought of being someone's girlfriend made me feel a little nauseated, I couldn't help it. But I knew my feelings pertaining to relationships wouldn't vanish overnight. Zacky made a face, almost a pout, and I sighed. "I said I'd give you a chance, I didn't say I was your girlfriend. And besides, you haven't even asked me."

"So you're saying that all I have to do to make you my girlfriend is ask," Zacky said. The way he said it made it sound more like a confirmation than a question, which I'm sure is what he intended.

"That's not what I said."

"On the contrary Wowza, that's exactly what you said," Zacky argued, grinning as he sat up. I just rolled my eyes. "So, Wren. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"No," I said shortly.

Zacky pouted, which was strangely adorable. "Be my girlfriend," he said again.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?" Zacky asked. I noticed the glimmer in his eyes as he scooted closer to me and it scared me a little. "I like you. You like me. Well, kinda. And we're cute together. Everybody thinks so."

I raised an eyebrow. "Who exactly is everybody?" I asked.

"Does it really matter?" Zacky said, and then he kissed me. If there was one thing that surprised me about Zacky, it was the fact that he was a pretty good kisser. I just felt such a spark when we kissed, I couldn't explain it. In the back of my mind, it occurred to me that he might have had a lot of practice; he was a rockstar, after all. When we moved apart, which was only slightly, I could fell that my face was a little flushed. "So?" he asked.

I bit my lip. Just months ago I'd been so eager to rid myself of the 'girlfriend' label and here I was, teetering on the brink of acquiring it again. But there were so many differences between Clark and Zacky. Towards the end, Clark had been so suffocating and he wanted more than I did. But Zacky just seemed so carefree about our relationship - if you could call it that - like he was just happy to have someone besides the guys to spend time with again. So maybe there wasn't any harm in saying yes.

"Fine, I'll be your girlfriend," I relented. I opened my mouth to continue, but I was stopped when Zacky kissed me again, and I could feel him smiling against my lips. "But there's a condition," I added once he'd pulled away.

"Condition away, Wowza."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want you to think this makes things really serious between us," I said. I looked down, fiddling with a loose thread on my bedsheets. "I mean, you know I feel about relationships and shit like that. But I'd like to change that. It's gonna take a while, though. And I don't want you to think that me agreeing to be your girlfriend means we can take things super fast or anything."

Zacky just smiled, this time more softly. "Wren, I don't want you to say yes because you feel like you have to," he said. "Because I like you and I want to have a relationship with you, but I don't want you to feel like things are being rushed. I mean yeah, I'd like to settle down, maybe have a kid or two, but not so bad I'm gonna rush things with you."

"But I wanna say yes," I told him. "I think it would a good start to getting over everything."

"Well if you insist..." Zacky said. He leaned in to kiss me again, but I pushed him away with a laugh. He pouted.

"Don't you have breakfast to cook?" I teased, getting up off the bed. I put my hand on my chin, pretending to think as I walked over to my dresser to get clothes to put on after I showered. "Hmm, I think I want an omelet with ham and cheese, some bacon, and fruit. Oh, and don't forget the coffee."

Behind me, Zacky laughed. "What the hell do I look like, a Denny's?"

"You know, it kinda sounds you wanna leave right now."

I heard the bed creak as Zacky stood up, and seconds later I felt his hands on my hips. "I guess I did say I'd cook you a seven-course meal if you'd let me stay," he said. "So I guess I can manage a Denny's platter knock-off."

I chuckled. "How about just the omelet and some coffee?" I suggested. "I don't think I need to eat all that other shit, anyway."

"One ham and cheese omelet coming right up, Wowza," Zacky said. He kissed my cheek before he moved away, heading down the hallway to the kitchen. I didn't move. I was beginning to like being around Zacky and was surprisingly okay with being his girlfriend, but him being affectionate was just a little weird. I knew it was just something he was used to doing after coming out of a marriage, but it seemed to go against his claims that he was okay with taking things slowly. But what was even weirder was the fact that I didn't dislike it as much as I always thought I would.

I showered quickly, my stomach already grumbling despite the nervousness that came along with every show. When I made my way to the kitchen, Zacky was just finishing up with the omelets and had a pot of coffee brewed. "You know if you make me breakfast every morning, I might keep inviting you over," I said, walking over to grab two coffee mugs. I grinned at Zacky when he looked over.

"Well if that's the case, then expect me over again tonight," Zacky replied, returning my grin.

I bit my lip. Why did I keep opening my mouth? "Uh, I was just kidding, Zack."

At this Zacky just laughed, and I frowned. He was really going to have to quit doing that. "You've really gotta get the hang of this whole flirting thing if you're gonna keep starting it," he said. He reached over and turned off the stove. "I know you were kidding. I don't expect you to let me stay over every night just because I cook you breakfast. Even though that is a pretty fair trade."

I rolled my eyes as I poured coffee into the two mugs. I went over and sat them on the table before getting the cream and sugar. I went to grab my plate but Zacky shooed me away, saying that he was perfectly capable of carrying them over to the table. "So what are you gonna do tonight while I'm doing my show?" I asked.

"Well, I was gonna go, since everybody else is," Zacky answered.

"Seriously."

"I am serious!" Zacky exclaimed as he sat down at the table. "I wanna go with everyone else and besides, I'd be kind of a shitty boyfriend if I didn't support my girlfriend at her show. And besides, I know pretty much everybody else is going."

"Well if you wanna come and watch the show again, I'm not going to stop you," I said, smiling as I took a bite of the omelet. It actually meant a lot to me that Zacky was coming to the show again tonight. I definitely would've understood if he didn't want to, since he'd gone last night. "But you don't have to go every night."

"But what if I want to?"

"Zacky, the show runs for a month."

His eyes widened as he reached for his coffee mug. "Damn okay, never mind, then," he said. "I mean, your voice is fucking incredible Wowza, but I can only sit through the same show so many times."

"I understand," I laughed.

After breakfast, I put the dishes in the small dishwasher before Zacky and I went into the living room. "So should we watch a movie?" I suggested. "There's not really much on TV during the day. And if you don't want to watch any of the DVDs I have, I do have Hulu."

"Actually I have a better idea," Zacky said, smiling. He leaned forward, setting his nearly empty cup of coffee on the coffee table. "I want you to sing for me."

"Uh..." I let my sentence trail off. I normally didn't have a problem singing, but that was in front of crowds. It was impersonal and I could so easily get lost in the music and forget that I was being watched. But sitting here in my living room with Zacky, it was so intimate and for some reason I was unsure.

"I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to," Zacky said. "But I'd really like it if you did. Because you really do have an incredible voice."

"Okay," I said. Zacky just seemed so sincere when he complimented my voice, it was hard to turn him down. And I knew he wouldn't judge me. I thought for a few seconds about what to sing before I finally settled on something I knew Zacky would recognize and enjoy. Since Zacky had been doing research on Broadway and attending my shows, I thought it was only fair that I researched his band a little. Most of the songs on their latest album were too heavy for me to even attempt, but eventually I'd managed to play around with Seize the Day enough to give it a try.

Things were silent for a second when I stopped singing and for a second I was worried that Zacky hadn't liked it. But then his face split into a grin and I wasn't worried anymore. "That was incredible, Wren," he said. He grinned. "I think you might even be better than Matt. But don't tell him that, he might get offended."

"You're so weird."

"Maybe, but I'm cute so that makes up for it." Zacky reached for my hand, pulling me down onto the couch. He kissed me softly and I smiled against his lips. "So how about one of those movies you mentioned?"

I smiled sheepishly. "Actually, I just remembered that I kind of need to do a few things at the bookstore today," I told him. I didn't think Zacky wanted to spend the afternoon in my bookstore and I felt bad for kicking him out of my apartment when I'd told him he could stay.

"I'll come with you, then."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"I mean, I'm sure it'll be a little boring, but I'm sure I can find something to entertain me," Zacky replied, grinning wickedly.

"As long as that entertainment doesn't include destroying anymore of my bookstore, then I guess you can come," I said, smiling. "You wanna drive so we don't have to take the bus?"

Zacky nodded. He went over to the door and opened it, gesturing dramatically out into the hallway. "Your chariot awaits, madam."

. . .

Although I liked having customers in the bookstore, I liked it just as much when it was empty. Besides the theater, it was my favorite place on Earth to be. I loved curling up and rereading my old favorite books and besides all of that, some of my most cherished memories of my parents happened in the bookstore.

"Man, if I knew you were going to put me to work I would've stayed back at your apartment," Zacky said.

I looked up at him where he stood at the top of a ladder, putting books onto a high shelf. "Well I had to get some use out of you," I teased. Zacky made a face and I laughed. "I really appreciate your help, though. It's a little hard for me to reach the upper shelves, even with a ladder."

"I'm glad I could help out, then," Zacky replied. He finished with the box of books and climbed down the ladder, grinning proudly. "Man, I'm such a good boyfriend." He looked over at me, his grin morphing into a slight smirk. "I think I deserve a kiss."

"I suppose you do," I said, smiling at the look that appeared on Zacky's face. He obviously hadn't been expecting me to agree so easily. I stepped closed to him, pressing a short, sweet kiss to his lips. "Thanks for helping me with the books. Maybe you're not as annoying as I thought."

Zacky scoffed playfully. "Gee, thanks."

"No problem," I said, cracking another grin. I gave Zacky another quick peck on the lips before I moved away, heading for the back of the store. Since all the chores were done, I was going to do a little reading. And I knew just the book I wanted to read.

"Where are you going?" Zacky asked, following after me. "Isn't it time to leave?"

I plucked a book from the shelf. "No, I wanna read."

Zacky made a sort of whining noise. "That's boring."

"No, it's not," I said, frowning slightly. I knew not everyone shared my love of books and reading, but I still didn't like when people called my hobby boring. "Why don't you come sit with me and I'll read to you a little?"

"Well what are you reading?"

I held up the book. "The Odyssey," I answered. "It's an epic by Homer. I had to read it during my freshman year of college and fell in love with it. It's about Odysseus and his journey back home to Ithaca after the Trojan War."

Zacky still seemed a little less than enthused about the idea, but he still followed me to the couches at the back of the store and sat down with me, pulling me close to his chest as I opened the book and started to read. I enjoyed sharing my love of books and reading with Zacky and even if he didn't return the love, I also liked spending time with him, just the two of us, curled up together on the sofa in the back of my bookstore.

I actually didn't want to leave, but as it grew closer to the time I needed to be at the theater, I knew I had to. I found a decent stopping place and set the book aside, chuckling softly when Zacky whined. "You can't stop there, how am I gonna know what happens?" he asked.

"Sorry, but I've got to go the theater to get ready for the show." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "And you do know that you can read the book yourself, right?"

"Well what if I liked having you read it to me?" Zacky got to his feet and followed me to the front of the store, holding the book in his hands. "It's more fun that way."

"Maybe later, okay?" I suggested, smiling softly. As much as I hated to admit it to myself, I wanted to do this again. I was genuinely surprised how much I'd enjoyed the past hour or so.

Zacky returned my smile as he held the door open for me. "I'll definitely have to take you up on that, Wren," he said. "Who knew reading could be so much fun?"

"I'll have you cultured soon enough," I said, giggling. I locked the door and walked with Zacky over to where he'd parked his car, smiling when he reached for my hand. It was strange how I felt around him. I didn't feel as uneasy about things as I had before, but then again, I almost didn't feel like we were in an actual relationship. It felt more like Zacky and I were friends who occasionally kissed.

When we got to the theater, the parking lot was already nearly full. This close to showtime, it didn't really surprise me, especially this early in the show's run. Zacky walked with me inside, letting me practically drag him along as I made my way through the crowd. When I reached the dressing rooms, I turned to Zacky. "You can't go in the dressing room with me," I said. "But you should wait out here for everybody else. Thanks for coming to the show again, by the way. It means a lot."

Zacky grinned. "Trust me, it's no problem," he said. He leaned down and kissed me and I smiled against his lips. "Break a leg out there, okay, Wowza?"

Notes