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Through All the Dust

Chapter Forty-One: Don't Think I'm All in This World

Lauren and I had been at the venue for well over two hours, tearing down decorations and folding up linen. It was an ordeal, for sure, but it was one that we didn’t think Matt should have to even think about. If it had been me, I’d want the whole thing thrown into the furnace before the day was out. So, that’s what we were trying to do.
Lauren had her feet up, relaxing her pregnant body as I worked at the backdrop. Tugging and pulling and climbing on chairs for better reach.
“I’m still in total shock,” she told me from her chair.
I just nodded.
“Like…I knew she was a bitch,” Lauren sighed. “But…To cheat on your wedding day? That’s a level of low I wouldn’t have expected…even from her.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “It’s fucking wild, that’s for sure.”
“Can we kill her?” Lauren asked so seriously that it took me off guard.
I laughed lightly, “Calm down, mama bear. Matt’s a big boy; he can handle it.”
“He shouldn’t have to handle it,” she frowned.
“I agree,” I said pointedly, hopping down from the chair carefully onto my good leg. “But…It’s done, Lo. She did a horrible thing and now…now Matt’s just going to have to deal.”
“You’re so jaded,” she half-smiled. “Pain just doesn’t afflict you at all anymore, huh?”
I neared her slowly, my leg paining me something fierce on account of all the climbing. I shook my head at her.
“It’s not that.”
She pursed her lips together, “Then what?”
I sighed, huffing as I collapsed into the chair beside my best friend’s feet.
“I don’t know, really,” I shrugged. “I guess I just think that Matt deserves better. He deserved better before we all knew she was a cheating whore.”
Lauren nodded.
“He’s literally the nicest guy on the planet,” I continued. “And he’s gorgeous, funny, super talented…he’s seriously a catch.”
Lauren grinned, “You sure you want to marry Brian and not Matt?”
I laughed, my face disgusted, “Dude, no.”
“Don’t call me dude,” she giggled.
“If anyone was worthy of Matt,” I told her absently. “No. You know what? No one is deserving of that guy. He’s too good for this world. Like Jimmy was too good for this world.”
She raised an eyebrow, “So…no one was good enough for Jimmy then? By association? Is that what you’re saying or am I misunderstanding you?”
Oops. I’d accidentally touched on a nerve I didn’t know existed. That wasn’t at all what I was saying—well, it was. But Lauren was an exception.
“You were too good for him,” I recovered. “But I’m glad he slummed it for you.”
“Uh-huh,” she smirked.
I smiled at her, pulling her feet into my lap, “I mean it, Lo. You’re the best human I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing. You’re not only too good for this world, you’re too good for this universe.”
“Nice try,” she retorted playfully.
“By that extension, I guess that means you’ll have to marry Matt,” I teased.
She shook her head, “I think I’m done with men. There’s no topping Jimmy…he was it. So…now there’s no one.”
“I get it,” I frowned sympathetically. “But, you know…If you ever change your mind, I promise I won’t hate him. Matt, the Pope, whoever you eventually decide is worthy of your time.”
“Done with men,” she reiterated. “But…thanks.”
My phone buzzed on the table.
From: Bri
Hey, pretty. We found Matt. We’re at a bar. I’ll be carrying him home later. Our home. Thank you for … fuck, for being you. I love you. I’ll see you later.
My smile could not be concealed. Lauren was privy, immediately working out who it was that had stolen my attention.
“You’re still really in love,” she said matter-of-factly. “I’m so, so glad.”
I tilted my head at her, dropping my phone back onto the table, “Should I not be?”
“No,” she giggled. “It’s just…nice. If you want to talk about people that are too good for this world…”
I rolled my eyes.
“I mean it,” she insisted. “There is no one in the world more deserving of love than you, Blair Peterson. I’m just…I’m sorry you had to grow through so much shit on your way to it.”
“That’s the seventh time you’ve cussed today,” I smirked, moving passed her sentiment.
She nodded, her eyebrows high on her pretty head, “Well…It’s a fucked up day, Blair!”
We got back to work, eventually heading into a heated debate about the different types of blondes and which blonde was the most appealing. Lauren was a natural blonde, but she argued that platinum was the most beautiful. I told her she was stupid and that all bleached blonde is atrocious.
“We can’t all be queens of darkness like you,” she had teased.
I’d tried blonde exactly once in my life and upon inspecting the reveal in the bathroom mirror, I immediately dyed it jet black. It was also the first time I’d dyed my hair black—which was when I was just sixteen years old. I’d kept up the colour since then. It had been so long that I couldn’t even remember what my natural colour was.
My roots suggested it was some seriously dark brown, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever really know. I’d never had the impulse to give up the black and let it grow out.
Eventually, we’d managed to get everything cleaned up. We patted ourselves on the back for a job well done, neglecting the fact that it was nearly one in the morning. Lauren was yawning like an entire pride of lions.
“My body is betraying me,” she giggled. “I’m tired of being pregnant.”
“Soon enough,” I assured her as I began switching off the lights in the building.
She watched me as I slowly moved around, “So…Matt’s staying with you guys?”
“Not sure,” I answered as I clicked off the last set of lights and made my way back to my friend, lit only by the hallway light still illuminated to Lauren’s back. “That was Brian’s plan last I heard.”
“Good,” she said simply.
She drove me home and was under specific instruction to call when she got home. It was late and I worried.
Brian’s car was in the drive, which I assumed meant he’d made it home. As I searched my bag for my house keys, I noticed the television flickering through the living room window. It struck me as odd, for whatever reason. It was the same view that Jimmy would have had every time he’d come to kidnap me—which was often. A surefire sign that someone was still up.
Brian rarely watched television in the living room. He was notorious for falling asleep to movies, so he’d usually retreat to the bed. But, if Brian was in bed—that meant the guest room for me. After the night I’d had, there was no way my body would allow the climb up the stairs. I’d need help—and I wasn’t about to ask Matt for it.
I let myself in, chucking my keys into the bowl by the door. Matt’s head was visible from the foyer, but he didn’t seem to hear me come in. I crutched my way over, seating myself on the opposite couch before he noticed. His eyes were bloodshot to hell and he was looking rough.
“Oh,” he said weirdly. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I smiled.
He gestured to the TV, “I can shut it off.”
“No way,” I waved, leaning against the back of the couch. “I love late night TV. I used to come down in the middle of the night all the time and find Jimmy on my couch, watching my television…Got to be a bit of a ritual.”
Matt just stared at me.
“I’d ask how you’re doing,” I moved along. “But I’m sure I can figure it out.”
He nodded solemnly, turning back to the TV. I got myself comfortable, dropping my crutches to the floor as I pulled my leg up. It was deeply satisfying to sprawl out.
“It was supposed to be the best day of my life…” Matt grumbled sadly.
I looked up to him to find his eyes welling up. My heart shattered apart into a billion tiny pieces.
“What’s wrong with me, Blair?” he asked me desperately. “Why didn’t she want me? Why did she want that other guy more? Why aren’t I good enough?”
My eyes welled up too, “Matty…”
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” he sobbed.
I was up and leaping across the distance within seconds. Climbing into his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck, he held me and he cried. His body shook with violence as he mourned the death of his marriage. The death of his pride. The death of who he thought he was.
My hands rubbed at his back, cooing calming words into his ear and assuring him it would be okay. The truth was, I didn’t know if it would be. I wasn’t sure how you could survive something like that.
“Matty,” I finally sighed, pulling away and holding his face in my hands. “I love you.”
He nodded unhappily, sniffling as I wiped his tears with my thumbs.
“We all love you,” I continued sternly. “You are so much more than enough. The reality is that…that girl is a cunt. She’s a self-serving, conniving bitch. And you deserve better than that.”
His eyes were searching my own for sincerity. I had it in spades.
“Here’s the good news,” I tried to smile. “She’s insignificant. She doesn’t matter. You matter.”
“She…She picked someone else,” he told me weakly, his voice cracking. “I don’t…understand.”
“She’s an idiot,” I told him. “You are the best guy I know. You’re handsome and sweet and strong…You’re a good friend and an even better listener. When things go to shit, I always know that I can count on you. There’s something to that, you know? Please don’t let this horrible thing alter the way you see yourself. I can’t lose another person that I love.”
He took my hands into his, pulling them away from his face.
“You’re a good friend, Blair,” he told me sweetly. “Thanks for decking my wife.”
I laughed loudly, “Any time, man.”
“Can you, uh…sit with me?” he asked oddly. “I don’t want to push any boundaries or anything…”
“Matthew,” I chuckled. “I’m in your lap. I think boundaries are a thing of the past.”
He smiled, thank god. I climbed out of his lap and into the cushion at his side, leaning into his chest as he lazily slung an arm around my shoulders. We watched Jimmy’s favourite movie until I was nearly asleep.
“Thanks for being there, B,” Matt said sleepily. “I’m really fucking glad that Jimmy found you all those years ago.”
I nodded a little, “Me too.”
“And that Brian kept you,” Matt added with a tired laugh. “Our lives would be shit without you in them.”
“It’s all going to be okay,” I assured him, trying to rub at his arm but too tired to move.
And then I fell asleep.

Notes

Updates might be a little limited for the next week or so. I'm headed on a vacation tonight, and don't anticipate having access to a computer. I'll update if I can--I'm sorry in advance.

That Shair bromance though.

xx

Comments

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RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@Jenny117
T-Minus one hour!! The wait is almost over!! :)

fyction fyction
5/6/19

Scared yes but still extremely excited

Jenny117 Jenny117
5/6/19

I am so ready for the next one!!!!!!!!!!

Jenny117 Jenny117
5/6/19

@Buggaloo
Me too!! Nervous excited .. but excited!!

fyction fyction
5/6/19