Holding On To You

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”
Jen’s yelling came from the front of the bus.

“What now?”
Sadie groaned rolling over to block out the light that made her head throb, Jen’s yelling didn’t help either. She mentally kicked herself for drinking so much last night, and hoping that it didn’t last into her show tonight.

“Sadie Lynn! Have you seen this?!”
Jen came bursting into her room, shoving her phone in Sadie’s face. Sadie squinted against the light of the screen, trying to focus on the picture.
Suddenly her vision became crystal clear as she read the headline at the top of the page on TMZ.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE?

Below that was a picture that made Sadie want to cry, scream and break something all at the same time.
A woman with her arms wrapped around Matts neck, their lips locked with one another.
The article read:
‘M Shadows was caught embracing mystery woman after Friday night’s concert in Atlanta. His Fiancé Sadie Lynn, award winning country singer, was not available for comment.’

Sadie’s phone lit up and started playing ‘Dear God’ Matt’s ringtone.

“What do I do?”
She whispered, as if he could hear.
Jen grabbed the phone before Sadie could protest.

“This is Jennifer Widely”
Oh lord she used her professional tone, Sadie cringed because she knew this wouldn’t go to well.

“No she’s not available at the moment...yes she did...what is there to possibly explain? We saw the pictures!...whatever goodbye Matthew.”

Sadie was put off by the calmness Jen displayed while on the phone.

“Well?”

“He wanted to explain”
Jen mocked in a whiney voice
“Yeah explain that picture away asshole, him and his fake proposal no ring ass.”

Since Jen was Sadie’s publicist her phone was blowing up all day long, repeated “No comment” rang in Sadie’s head.

She wasn’t curled up in tears, at the moment she was just numb. Unbelieving of what she had seen, her heart breaking bit by bit into a million pieces.
‘Dear God’ played again, she reached over and ignored the call.
How could he do this? After everything they had been through, she touched the tattoo on her chest feeling a pang of heartache.
If he really cared why would he have been with a woman like that in the first place? Kissing her?!

***
“She's not answering the goddamn phone!”
Matt yelled, throwing it across the bus.

“Dude calm down!”
Brian picked up the phone and handed it back to the singer.
“Just give her some time to cool down, let this blow over, then try calling her again.”

“Blow over? It's all over the tabs!”

“Fine, keep blowing up her phone, see how quick she comes around Shadz! Look if it was meant to be it will work out, if not fuck it, you got the pick of the litter when it comes to groupies!”

***
It was two weeks later and Matt stopped calling Sadie about a week ago.
She stood on stage for sound check, moving through the motions of her daily life. That's what she was focusing on right now, her and her career.
Jen would try to get her to talk, but it just didn't work. She didn't want to talk about him, she didn't want to talk about the situation.
It had come up in a few interviews she had done since, but she pretty much stayed mum on the subject.

She missed him. His voice, his laugh, his face.

“Sadie Lynn, I'm going to need you to perk up!”
Jen joked as they walked back to the dressing room.
She knew her friend was hurting, and there wasn't much she could do about it.
“Look Sades, I'm talking to you as your best friend here, so I'm not going to coddle you. Fuck him! If he really cared you think he would have done what he did?”

“I don't know Jen! I don't know what to think anymore ok?! All I know is I was literally tortured for him! God I still have nightmares Jen!”

“Oh baby I know”
Jenn wrapped a now crying Best Friend in a hug, wishing she could take all the pain away, the pain from everything.

***
Matt sat on the couch of the bus, his finger hovering over the dial button.

“Either call her or not, you’ve been sitting like that for an hour man.”
Zack handed him a fresh beer. He put the phone down

“Not like she’ll answer anyways.”

“She hasn’t talked to you at all?”

“No man, she wont answer the phone, my text. Hell I’ve even emailed her!”

“I can kinda understand where she’s coming from though.”

“Thanks Z, who’s side are you on anyway?”

“Dude what if you would have seen a picture like that? What would be your first thought?”

“That she was...”

“Yeah, you did the same shit to Val when you caught her cheating. Remember?”

“This is different! And you know it is.”

“Yeah, but you two breaking up wasn’t exactly news. You and Sadie are all over the tabloids, so she’s dealing with that too.”

“Yeah I also know what she's thinking. That she was put through hell, almost fucking killed because of me and here I go cheating on her. That’s what she’s thinking Z!”

Notes