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Just Before You Go

Chapter Ninety-Four: Fight for Honor, Fight For Your Life

Barb and Joe looked worried as Jimmy sat them down on the opposite couch from us. My hands shook, despite the firm grip I kept on them both. No amount of sheer power of will could ease my nerves. It was like sitting outside the principal’s office, having been called there but unsure why.
Something inside of me knew that their reaction would be wildly different than that of my family’s…but the fear was real. What if they reacted similarly? Albeit, less dramatically…What would that mean? Would that, then, solidify the fears I had that maybe we were moving too fast?
That maybe Jimmy was simply working to correct damage he’d caused?
But Jimmy wasn’t nervous; he was bouncing at the edges, giddy with excitement. He lorded over them, reveling in the news still kept up within himself.
“What’s going on?” Barb finally asked slowly, glancing back and forth between us.
“We have some news,” Jimmy grinned widely. “That I think you’ll be pretty pleased about.”
Barb gasped excitedly, springing forward, “Grandbabies?”
Jimmy scowled, a light shake of his head, “What? No.”
Her disappointment had me stifling a fit of laughs. Joe consoled his wife subtly, rubbing at her back as she mourned the death of the grandchild theory.
But!” Jimmy declared loudly, thrusting a finger into the air. “We are going to get married and shit.”
“Get married and shit,” his dad repeated blankly.
Jimmy smirked, “To word it eloquently.”
Joe’s face fell into distaste, setting my nerves off again into their usual tirade. Jimmy glanced over his shoulder at me, giving a little shrug.
“Guys,” he half-laughed, turning back to them. “Did you hear me? Or…?”
“Yeah, we heard you,” Joe replied flatly. “You’re getting married.”
His face twitched as his head snapped its bones to check his wife for reaction. Her face lit up as she processed what she’d heard.
“Wait,” Joe stammered. “You’re getting married? Like…I do?”
“Well you don’t,” Jimmy teased. “But yes… Married. Shackled by the dick of the law. Eternally bound by a piece of a tree. Forever enforced by an officer of the court! Endlessly—”
Jimmy’s tangent was cut short as Barb and Joe both leapt onto him, latching their arms onto his back as they laughed with joy. My heart melted for Jim; I caught myself imagining that this was my family…That my family loved me this much.
“Aria!” Barb shrieked, releasing her son to grab me by the arms and pull me to my feet.
As she wrapped me in her arms, I realized that this would be my family. I fell into the sanctity of that and let myself feel.
“This is such great news!” she giggled, leaning back from me and cupping my cheeks with her hands. “I’ll have another daughter! I always wanted a big family, you know.”
Joe took me into a congratulatory embrace, rubbing at my back with his long hands.
“How did it happen?” Barb demanded to know, her hands shaking from the adrenaline. “Did our boy do it right?”
Joe cocked an accusing brow at his son, “Did you do it right?”
“I did it…my own way,” Jimmy grinned bashfully, plopping onto the couch.
“It was sweet,” I told them vaguely. “But check out the ring!”
I pushed my hand outward to let the light catch the shimmering stones. Barb gasped, snatching up my finger and holding it closely for thorough examination. Joe was less interested in the jewelry, and more about his son’s next step in life.
“Come on, Jim,” he told his son, gesturing with his head to the back of the house. “This calls for a cigar.”
Jimmy slapped his hands against his knees, “Fuck yeah!”
He slid a quick kiss against my cheek before darting off with his equally lanky father. Barb pulled me gently onto the couch, still fixated on the black stone perched atop my finger.
“So?” she smiled. “How’d he do it?”
“He ran me over,” I laughed fondly. “And then he casually suggested it to me.”
She was visibly confused, “Ran you over?”
“Yeah,” I smirked. “He came barreling over to me and totally ran straight into me. So, as I was sulking away to go and clean up the gashes, he just kind of…threw marriage at me.”
She rolled her eyes, “Typical. I swear he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. I’m not sure where he gets that from—his father is quite the romantic.”
“It was romantic enough,” I assured her. “It was very…Jimmy.”
Her lips curved upward, “I love that.”
“You raised a good man,” I told her neatly.
“I take absolutely no credit for that boy out there,” she laughed, waving lazily in the direction Jimmy had set off in. “He came out walking and talking…and swearing and drinking.”
I laughed lightly at the lie.
“He’s always been in his own little world,” she sighed. “I’m just so relieved that he’s finally getting his act together…You’ve been a really good influence on him.”
“I try,” I joked half-heartedly.
“I’m so excited,” she gushed. “I never thought my son would get married. This is…this is the best news I think I’ve ever heard.”
I smiled, “I think so too.”
“Were your parents thrilled?” she asked happily. “Your mother must be so happy! Who doesn’t want to plan their daughter’s wedding?”
The thought tugged at my sore heart. I wouldn’t get to share wedding dress shopping with my mother…or picking invitations…or combing through the guest list because that cousin can’t sit with that aunt and that brother can’t be near that ex-wife. She’d miss it all and she’d miss it because she couldn’t learn to be accepting.
I wasn’t even sure if I should invite them to the wedding, much less include them. My eyes began to well up; I turned my head away to hide the shame.
“Oh, Aria,” Barb cooed. “I’m sorry; did I say something?”
“No,” I sighed, scolding myself loudly. “I just…Jimmy hasn’t told you?”
She flinched, taking my hands into hers, “Told me what?”
“My parents don’t…approve,” I told her nervously, unsure just how much to divulge. “They don’t think…that I should get married.”
It was a half-truth and it was less insulting than ‘they think your son is unworthy’. But her eyes saddened regardless. Damn my parents!
“My parents reacted similarly when I got engaged,” she told me understandingly. “They told me that I was too young and that Joe was too…rambunctious, I believe was the word they used.”
I let her light tone lift my spirits just a little. Enough that I could stop crying like a fool.
“But I went ahead anyway,” she smiled. “Because I loved him more than I loved myself. And that’s all there is to it, really. When you find someone that you care more about than you do for yourself…That’s real love, Aria. That’s worth holding on to.”
I nodded.
“Is that the love you have for Jimmy?” she asked me curiously.
“Of course it is,” I breathed. “Everything I do is…to make him happy. And I think he’s the same way.”
“I think so too,” she smiled at me, giving my hands a squeeze. “Maybe they’ll come around. Mine did. And if they don’t, well…You move along.”
Easier said than done, I was finding.
“If I had listened to my parents,” she reminisced. “I wouldn’t have three beautiful children…I wouldn’t have this life that I love so much. I can’t even imagine where I would have ended up. It’s been my life’s greatest honor to be a Sullivan…and now you will be too.”
I was choking up all over again, with elation this time instead of grief. I’d never known this level of warmth and blind reassurance. It was nothing short of perfection.
“Have I helped?” Barb asked cheekily.
I nodded, “Tenfold.”
“Good,” she breathed with relief. “Now we get to the important stuff. Do we have a date yet?”
Maybe I’d have to miss out on wedding planning with my own mother, but soon enough Barb would be my mother too. To hell with the in-law suffic, that was simply semantics. She was over the moon with excitement and my soul happily fed from that. As Jimmy smoked out back, listening to unwanted fatherly advice, I discussed in great detail the many visions that Mrs. Sullivan had for our big day.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I hardly wanted any of it. If I had my way, we’d elope when the time felt right.
But then, I was now severed from family obligation and Jimmy was not. Although I knew he’d be on board with my wishes, as I was sure they were his too, it seemed like we wouldn’t be getting out of the big lavish wedding. I decided I could be happy in a ballgown—I’d thought of it as a child. Barb’s enthusiasm was infectious.
“You’ll make such a beautiful bride,” Barb gushed, studying over my features. “You guys will make such beautiful babies!”
Reeling her in back to the milestone at hand, I let the Sullivan love heal my soul.

Notes

I'm so sorry that I've been totally neglecting this story. I've been compulsively tied up in Trashed and Scattered...But here's an update to fill the void.

xx

Comments

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RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@kiss my sas
I'm sorry!!!! Didn't mean to kick you while you're down, I swear!!

fyction fyction
5/14/19

I'm so proud of you for finishing this masterpiece, but I am SO SAD!!!
WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN AND UPSETTING THE SICK AUSSIE?!??!?!
WHAT IS LIFE??!???!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

IT IS NOT OVER!!!
I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT IS OVER!!!!!!
PLAGUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

Holy shit, holy shit, I am not prepared!!!!
Going to read the... last... chapter now...

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19