Just Before You Go

Jen graced my life with her presence, trailing a bottle of wine along with her. We promptly got into the wine as we got into Jimmy’s massive collection of films. As we sank into the couch cushions, tucked in with his wool throw blanket, we spent more time gossiping and giggling than we did watching the movie. I hadn’t realized just how much I valued her gift of a friendship until I was back into the thick of it.
“It’s weird to be in Jimmy’s house,” Jen told me as she poured herself another glass of red.
“It’ll be my house when we get back,” I replied with a distinct smile.
She gasped subtly, “What? Really?”
I nodded, “Yeah, not that I don’t love living with you…but he’d suggested it before we’d even left. And now…”
“And now?” she encouraged with an eyebrow cocked.
I slid my hand out to her, grateful for her naturally unobservant nature. It was always better to deliver good news personally and without the power of observation stealing your thunder. My black stone glimmered in the lamp light.
Jen slid her wine glass onto the table with haste, snatching up my hand in both of hers. A surprising grin spread across her face like an enthusiastic infection.
“Holy shit,” she breathed.
“My sentiment exactly,” I laughed lightly, admiring the beauty of the promise.
She met my stare, excitement unbridled in her eyes, “How’d he do it? Was it romantic as shit? I can’t even picture Jimmy proposing to someone. I’m dying!”
“It was…romantic,” I said thoughtfully. “In his own Jimmy kind of way.”
That hardly quenched her newly found thirst. As I regaled in the tale of the Jimmy’s sideways proposal, Jen laughed happily. I was so relieved to find her hanging tightly off of each word as it slipped past my defenses. Her relationship with Jim was nothing short of strained, and I knew that she held quite a few reservations about our love…but she was entirely supportive and elated by the new chapter in my life.
“So when?” she demanded once I’d wrapped up the whirlwind gesture that had been picking out a ring. “When’s the big day? Soon? Never? Please don’t be one of those couples that gets engaged but never gets married. Those people fucking bug me.”
“I’m not sure,” I shrugged. “I’ve just been enjoying it as it is for now…We can get into wedding details…later.”
“I bet your parents are thrilled,” she noted sarcastically as she took up her wine glass once more and filled my glass with her other hand. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
I’d been vague on the phone. It didn’t negate her adrenaline at all; she had immediately faked a stomach flu at work and flown over to bask in our friendship. I adored her impulses and willingness to abandon everything for a friend. I, intentionally, neglected the hypocrisy of her behavior.
“They…didn’t take it well,” I said simply, the new wound splitting wide open at the thought of it.
“What about Luke?” she asked me. “He adores you, so he must be on board…right?”
I cleared my throat awkwardly, glancing down at the red liquid swirling around between my grip, “Um…No.”
She looked genuinely confused and though it pained me to relive the gory details, I needed someone to know. I needed someone to understand. Jimmy would have been so immensely hurt by the wake that I knew I’d have to bury it with vagueness. But Jenny…She was the perfect vent.
I took her back to the beginning, through Luke’s reservations and his convincing performance in my life. I told her how he’d melded into my new family and how protective he’d been of me. Not that I offered up an explanation for Tyler’s behavior; no way was I getting into that thickness.
And then I explained what had happened only hours prior. I confessed feeling entirely ambushed, feeling completely humiliated…Emotion welled up faster in me than I could shut it down. She held my shaking hands as I cried.
“Isn’t family supposed to love you?” I asked her rhetorically. “Unconditionally? Isn’t that the point?”
She sighed, letting me breathe it out rather than offering debate.
“They don’t even know him,” I continued weepily. “They didn’t even try to get to know him. Isn’t my happiness important? Isn’t what I want important to anyone?”
Her hands squeezed mine, “It’s important to me.”
“Yeah,” I hiccupped, pulling my fingers back to wipe at my tears.
“I know I haven’t always been team Jimmy…But I thought I was losing you for a while there. You were….You know, it really doesn’t matter. You look like the Aria I know. And even through my…distaste…for Jim’s behavior…I still wouldn’t have let you out of my sight. You do know that, don’t you?”
I shrugged lazily, groaning at myself as the tears continued to pool up and over.
“You’re my friend, Aria,” she insisted sternly. “And friends don’t give up on each other. I’ll be by your side no matter what you choose. I will always be here.”
I tried to smile.
“I know it’s hard to let toxic people go,” she frowned. “Especially when they’re your family…and I’ve never had to walk that road, so I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now…But we’re our own kind of family, aren’t we?”
My eyes met her again and she cast me an encouraging and knowing look. She looked almost like an angel in that second.
“Blood of the covenant,” she smirked.
Mustering up my strength, I laughed softly, “is thicker than the water of the womb.”
She squeezed my hand once more before releasing it, “I haven’t always been the perfect friend—”
“Neither have I,” I interjected quickly.
“But I love you,” she told me. “And I’ll work overtime to be better to you if I have to. I’ve got your back, Aria.”
We drank to that, taking satisfied sips of the red wine she’d brought over to unknowingly calm my storm. Our conversation drifted from sorrow to love and everything in between. I leaned myself against her, letting my attention focus in and out of the movie. As the credits rolled, Jen and I were fast asleep.

I woke in the morning in a panic. I shot off the couch, stirring Jen with my fury. She grumbled something, rubbing at her eyes, as I tore through my purse for my phone. I read through the few unanswered texts Jimmy had sent to my phone the night before. Nothing pressing; he’d assumed I’d conjured up hell with Jenny. With a quick check of the time, the panic was back on.
“Shit,” I muttered, tearing through the house to the bathroom to quickly get my shit together.
Jenny appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, leaning against the frame with amusement.
“I have to be at LAX in two hours,” I told her frantically.
She snickered, “You’re running late.”
“God damn your comfortable shoulder, Jen,” I teased, drying my face with the towel hanging from a rack.
“Are you feeling better today?” she asked me softly. “Other than, you know, waking up in a rush.”
I nodded, “Yeah…I get to see Jimmy today.”
She smiled at me, “Good answer.”
We chit chatted as I hurried around Jimmy’s house, gathering up my things and cleaning the messes I’d made in such a short time. Jen lingered by the door as I snatched up Jimmy’s keys and ran through the contents of my purse to ensure I had anything I’d need. Not that I’d really need much. It was an anxiety thing.
“Okay,” I breathed, finally joining her at the door. “Time to roll.”
“It was nice to see you,” Jen smirked at me. “If you get any time before you fly out tomorrow, let me know.”
“I will,” I assured her.
Her face lit up with realization, “You guys will need a ride back to LA! Let me take you!”
It was a far drive that I felt was unreasonable to ask someone to make on my behalf. It was different paying for a trip.
“Just let me,” she insisted, sensing my hesitation. “I’ll see you in the morning!”
With that determination, she headed out into the day. I only let myself marvel in her wonder before sprinting to Jimmy’s car and tossing my stuff onto the passenger seat. I cranked the radio up loud and sped off toward my man.
I beat the steering wheel with my thumbs as the music coursed through my veins. I found myself wishing that I was talented. If only I could be a secret musical prodigy. What an incredible thing it must be to wake up and be able to command your body in such a way. I couldn’t even sing the birthday song on key.
As always, my mind drifted to Jimmy. He had a working knowledge of percussion, vocals, piano…Brian had been offering him pseudo guitar lessons over the years. But his drumming background didn’t pair well with the flexibility of guitar frets.
Even still, he was unarguably talented at everything he attempted. He was naturally hyper intelligent and it extended into his very being. Brian was the same—Blair, too. God was she ever brilliant. Her voice was so hollow and short; her sentences usually nothing but wit or snarky comebacks. But then she’d take a breath and release a power she’d been harboring inside her perfect body. Where did her voice come from? Had she sold her soul for it? It was the only logical explanation.
My chest heaved as I tried to sing along with the radio—I made myself laugh loudly when I caught sound of my voice trailing out. If you can’t laugh at yourself…
Maybe I could have her teach me. I wasn’t sure that you could correct natural inefficiency though. So, I decided instead that I’d find a different instrument to try and master. I wanted something to connect me more convincingly to this world that I’d somehow intertwined myself with.
Eventually I made it to LAX. Jimmy was impossibly tall which made it easy to spot him, waiting patiently on the sidewalk. He smiled widely as recognition of his own vehicle washed over him. I pulled up as close to his position as I could and waited with absolutely no patience for him to climb inside.
He tossed his bag into the backseat and shortened himself into the front.
“Hi!” he greeted me happily.
I grinned at him, “Hi back!”
He leaned over to pull me into his lips.
“I missed you,” he told me as he pulled away and tightened the belt across his lap and chest.
“Me too,” I smirked.
He studied me for a second, “How’d it go last night?”
I’d played out various scenarios in my mind. I hadn’t come to any conclusions about the best way to answer his question. So, naturally, I dodged it feebly.
“Fine.”
“Aria,” he laughed.
“Fine,” I said again. “It’s not worth getting into. But I saw Jen last night and she was quite pleased.”
He smiled, “Good.”
“Tired?” I asked him as I pulled the car into gear.
He nodded,” I could use a nap before we head over to my parents’. Brian didn’t let me sleep last night—so I’m nearing delusion at this point.”
“Okay,” I laughed, glancing over my shoulder before pulling out from the curb, “Let’s go home.”

Notes

Sorry for the delay! I'm slaving over three stories right now and it's proving to be a bit of a challenge haha

xx