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Just Before You Go

Chapter Eighty-Three: Burning in the Skies

Blair finally joined the land of the living after being held hostage in the hospital for nearly a week. We hit the road shortly thereafter, with much insisting from the Haven camp that their singer was fine. I was worried about Blair but had to have faith that Tyler was taking care of her the way she was always taking care of him.
Brian was fiddling with his guitar in the corner, restringing the instrument with a ton of growls and groans. As he tightened the E, it snapped into two pieces, effectively slicing open Brian’s index finger. His throat ruptured from the sound as he angrily thrust his acoustic to the floor.
“This is fucking ridiculous,” he yelled, kicking at the guitar as he passed it and headed for the fridge.
Matt and I exchanged knowing looks, trying to make ourselves small to avoid the wrath of Haner. Jimmy came skipping from the back, obviously intrigued by Brian’s outburst. The lanky drummer pulled a grumpy Brian into a headlock, demanding to know what was up.
“Jesus,” Brian huffed, shoving at Jimmy’s arms, “get the fuck off of me!”
“Why ya so grumpy?” Jimmy grinned, strengthening his hold on the writhing guitarist. “Huh? Huh?”
“I’m,” Brian grunted, giving Jimmy an elbow to the ribcage, “not.”
Jimmy released his angry friend with a dramatic gasp for air. Brian looked pleased as he slipped down the hall and away from the prying eyes of our trio. Jimmy looked at me and shrugged before sliding into the table next to Matt.
“What’s his deal?” Jimmy asked curiously, pushing at the center of his black glasses to set them back atop the bridge of his nose. “Did he wet the bed again or something?”
Matt laughed loudly.
“He broke a guitar string,” I shrugged at my boyfriend.
Jimmy rolled his eyes, “That’s not enough to set off the Brian switch. What else could it possibly be?” he smirked, rubbing at his chin with two fingers in deep, albeit totally phony, though, “What could it be?”
“Blair,” Matt and I groaned, feeling instantly dumb for not figuring out that it was worry and not anger that had Brian in a knot.
Jimmy grinned proudly, “By golly, I think they’ve got it!”
“Shut up,” Matt chuckled.
Another Brian eruption roared from the back of the bus. Johnny could be heard trying to plead with and appease the angry one. But no. Soon enough, Johnny was shuffling his feet all the way to the front of the bus. He collapsed onto the couch with a frown, his arms folded across his chest.
“Brian strikes again?” Matt asked Johnny over his shoulder.
Johnny sulked, “What’s that guy’s problem? I was just trying to nap for fuck’s sakes.”
“You have a bunk for that,” I noted, feeling sympathetic for Bri.
Johnny blinked at me a few times, “The couch is better.”
“He has a point,” Jimmy nodded seriously.
“I’m not tolerating that shit for the next seven hours,” Johnny said seriously.
Before the group could take a vote, Brian came storming back in. He was waving a half-emptied bottle of Jack around in the air like a crazy peron.
“Who?” he demanded loudly. “Who drank my JD? Who?”
We all looked around at one another. It was like a real life version of Clue. Was it Johnny in the bathroom with the high ball glass? Or was it Zacky in the bunk with the shot glasses? Or was it Jimmy on the roof straight from the bottle? My money was on Peacock.
“No one, man,” Matt finally laughed. “It was probably you.”
“It was me,” Brian mimicked in a mutter. “If it was me, Matthew, I’m pretty sure I’d fuckin’ know.”
Matt grinned, “Not if you drank it all in one go, man.”
Brian growled in frustration, shaking the bottle once more at everyone, “Stay out of my shit!”
As he stormed off once more, we heard Zach ask—quite pleasantly, might I add—what was going on. He was promptly asked to “shut the fuck up”. Zach rounded the corner, rubbing the back of his head as he yawned sleepily.
“What’s with Syn?” he asked tiredly, slumping into the space next to me.
“Blair,” we all said together.
He mouthed an understanding ‘oh’.
“Guy just needs to get his dick wet,” Johnny shrugged from the couch.
Matt contemplated this briefly before rebutting, “Nah, I think it’s more emotional than that. Bri’s in love.”
“I can fucking hear you!” Brian shouted from his place in broody hiding.
“Good!” Matt called back with a hearty laugh.
Those dimples. Swoon.
And Brian was back. But this time, before he could reign terror down on us unsuspecting innocents, Jimmy lurched at his friend and dragged him, by the neck, to the woodwork from whence he’d come. With Brian seemingly under control, we all went back to our lives. I pushed lightly at Zach so he’d move and let me out. I was starving something fierce.
Just as I’d opened the fridge to search for anything to stuff my face with, Jimmy came marching passed. With one single finger raised high in the air, he declared, “That’s it!”
Within seconds, Jimmy had disappeared and our bus was at a screeching halt. We all exchanged confused glances. But then Jimmy was back and bounding out the door. Everyone was perfectly still, like any movement would somehow disrupt our uncertainty.
And then he was back.
With a Blair Peterson thrown over his shoulder, kicking and hitting at his back demanding to know “what the fuck”.
Jimmy tossed her onto the couch before giving one loud shriek, something to the effect of the word ‘okay’. Just like that, we were moving again.
“Brian!” Jimmy shouted in his shrillest voice. “Your girlfriend’s here!”
Blair rolled her eyes, fixing herself to be upright and casting one killer of a look at my lanky beau. She was looking better—definitely more like herself. However, she was under specific instruction not to indulge in anything that might deter her rehabilitation. While she agreed that recovering from the overdose was important, she flat out refused to give up the cigarettes. Everything else, she’d said, was no problem.
Jimmy had been doing well enough giving it up, too. I hadn’t noticed any disappearing—no extra bursts of extraordinary energy. Not that he wasn’t typically built with the force of a hurricane on a sober day…Best of all, he seemed happier.
“My what?” Brian groaned, emerging once more from his lair.
His muscles relaxed when he caught sight of the other B. A smile tugged at his frowning lips. I watched as her heart skipped a literal beat.
“I was kidnapped,” she told Brian with a sly grin.
He laughed, rolling his eyes at a shrugging Jimmy, “Of course you were.”
“Now that I’m here…” she snickered, moving from the couch to the table and sliding in next to Matt. “What’s new in the Avenged world?”
“New?” Zach smirked. “New since when, Blair? Yesterday?”
“I don’t know how to make conversation with people I see every day,” she shrugged, glancing over at me.
“There’s nothing new,” I declared.
“I broke a nail,” Jimmy offered excitedly. “So…Yesterday it was intact and…today it’s not. You’re welcome, Blair.”
She tried not to laugh, “Riveting, Jim. Absolutely riveting.”
He nodded with pride, “Don’t act like you’re not impressed by my life.”
Brian interjected impatiently, “I’m going to nap.”
He shot Blair an invitational look as he disappeared yet again. She rose immediately, not giving a single fuck what any of us thought about the situation. After the way Brian had fawned over her, it made complete sense to me that she was starting to be so enamored by him. Brian was the best thing for her, I’d decided. She was different when he was around…I hadn’t quite figured out how she was different; just that she was. And it was a positive difference.
She gave us a sheepish wave before venturing off in search of Brian. I nosily wondered if they were officially an item yet or if they were still doing the uncomfortable back and forth.
“Oh, sure,” Johnny whined loudly. “They can nap but when I try…”
“It’s probably safe now, man,” Matt laughed.
“Group nap?” Zach suggested with his eyebrows raised and hands out by his sides.
Everyone considered this for exactly one second before unanimously rising to our feet and taking off for our respective bunks. Jimmy grinned at me, holding back his curtain and wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“You’re so weird,” I laughed as I climbed into it and rolled against the wall.
With my head on his chest and my fingers laced with his, I drifted into the world’s worst sleep.

I awoke to the sound of singing. I’d come to expect it from this band of miscreants but it was…lighter. Softer. I rubbed at the sleep in my eyes before feeling the space next to me for Jimmy. Nothing. With a yawn, I pushed my way out of the bunk and onto the floor. We were still.
I walked to the front to find it desolate and abandoned. So, I followed the singing to the back and discovered a Blair. She smiled up at me, tapping a pen against her notebook.
“Where is everyone?” I asked lowly.
“Gas break,” she told me. “They went on a food hunt.”
“Not hungry?” I asked as I slid onto the cushion at the opposite end from her.
She shrugged, “Brian’s bringing stuff back.”
“Of course he is,” I grinned smugly.
Her eyes rolled a little inside her perfect head.
“We’re all very pleased about the uniting of the Bs,” I told her gently. “Just so you know.”
She hummed something of a noncommittal response, directing her attention back down to her book. It was the same book I’d poached and raided for its secrets. Some of the secrets had been about Brian, I was sure of it. I could only imagine what it held now that he’d gone ahead and been charming.
Her distance worried me. Not for myself, but for Brian. He was very obviously swept away by her—and worrying about her insistently when she wasn’t around. If Blair wasn’t returning that kind of devotion—or affection—I was concerned about what that might mean for Brian and his heart. Or our feelings. Hurt Brian was mean.
“Are you not pleased about the uniting of the Bs?” I asked cautiously.
She looked at me with a flat expression, “Aria.”
I encouraged her with my enthusiasm.
“It’s not that,” she finally sighed. “I guess I’m…” she groaned to herself, shaking her head, “Never mind.”
“You guess you’re what?” I prodded nosily. “Friends, remember?”
She couldn’t help her smile, “You cannot breathe a word of this to another soul, Aria.”
I zipped my lips shut.
“I’m afraid,” she confessed with a profound exhale.
“Of…Brian?” I asked both slowly and stupidly.
She laughed, “Yes. He’s terrifying to me. I’ve…never felt like this before. It’s weird…I don’t know if I like it.”
It was my turn to laugh, genuinely curious now, “Well, what are you feeling?”
“Happy.”
Her response made me ache. The casual way it slipped passed her lips was enough to make me want to cry. She caught this promptly and rolled her eyes at me as if to imply that I was being ridiculous. I tried to stop. I knew how much Blair hated the feelings.
“I have a tendency to lose people,” she told me then, scribbling something down onto the page in her lap. “I’m afraid Brian will be part of the curse that is my life.”
“No way,” I insisted simply. “Brian cares too much about you to…get lost.”
She eyed me strangely, “You’d be surprised.”
“Stop being ominous and cryptic,” I teased with a laugh, immediately shattering the tension that had fallen between us.
“I wrote a song about him,” she told me with just a hint of embarrassment behind her green eyes.
The last, and only, time someone had written a song about me was Almost Easy. I wondered if it was as compelling as Jimmy’s song had been. Knowing Blair, I was sure it was something born to impact my skeleton. I was sure it was something beautiful; especially if it was inspired by Brian.
“Here,” she said simply, extending the book to me. She added with a laugh, “So you don’t have to fucking steal it later.”
I took her mind from her with uneasiness.
“It’s not about him,” she explained lamely, without much care for the situation at all. “But…It’s…kind of…It’s about him. It’s about what’s been happening since I met him…It’s about everything.”
My confusion-riddled face must have given my uncertainty away. She groaned, waving me off with a snicker.
“Just fucking read it,” she instructed as she rose from her seat. “Let me know what you think.”
My eyes fell to the page filled with black ink sloppily splattered into shapes translating Blair’s thoughts into something tangible, “Okay.”
“I’m going to get water,” she told me. “Want anything?”
I shook my head, immediately diving into the world of the Bs. Or of Blair Peterson specifically.
I use the dead wood to make the fire rise.
The blood of innocence burning in the skies.
I filled my cup with the rising of the sea, and poured it out in an ocean of debris

I'm swimming in the smoke of bridges I have burned.
So don't apologize.
I'm losing what I don't deserve…What I don't deserve

We held our breath when the clouds began to form,
But you were lost in the beating of the storm.
But in the end, we were made to be apart…
In separate chambers of the human heart

I’m swimming in the smoke of bridges I have burned.
So don't apologize…I'm losing what I don't deserve
It's in the blackened bones of bridges I have burned
So don't apologize.
I'm losing what I don't deserve…What I don't deserve.


Notes

Song is Burning in the Skies by Linkin Park.

I love giving Blair the tunes I love so much.

xx

Comments

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RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@kiss my sas
I'm sorry!!!! Didn't mean to kick you while you're down, I swear!!

fyction fyction
5/14/19

I'm so proud of you for finishing this masterpiece, but I am SO SAD!!!
WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN AND UPSETTING THE SICK AUSSIE?!??!?!
WHAT IS LIFE??!???!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

IT IS NOT OVER!!!
I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT IS OVER!!!!!!
PLAGUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

Holy shit, holy shit, I am not prepared!!!!
Going to read the... last... chapter now...

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19