Just Before You Go

I'd successfully avoid both Blair Peterson and Tyler Brody over the next twelve hours. I ran into Tyler in the wee hours of the morning on my way to get ice...but he'd refused to even cast a glance in my direction. He'd disappeared behind his room's door before I'd had a chance to muster the courage to speak. Brian had insisted I move into his room. Jimmy and I were in quiet agreement that too much had happened to simply move along as if Volcano Plaguia hadn't erupted at all. Blair had slipped out of Jimmy's room with her belongings while no one was looking. We'd only assumed she'd gone back to Tyler, where she belonged.
When Brian woke me in the morning, he apologized with a cringe contorting his pretty face. I grumbled something of an acceptance and buried my head into the pillows. The world was still too grim to face--and I was too guilty.
It would be back to business as usual, the bands set to play a show that night and then head back out onto the road. Jimmy had insisted that, despite (and for the sake of) everything, I would have to come back to the Avenged bus. It wasn't like Haven was exactly my biggest fan at that moment, so I wouldn't have had a choice either way. But I chose to look on the brighter side of things in that everything was starting to morph itself into the way it had once been.
And it had been a relief.
"I'm going to get breakfast," Brian announced, stretching his arms above his head with a grunt. "You coming?"
I whined into my pillow, reluctant to really awaken. It was simpler to hide in a hotel--the whole locking doors thing was a godsend. But once I admitted that the day had begun, I'd have to face reality. I'd have to face Tyler.
I'd have to face Blair.
"If you don't come with me, I'll never hear the end of it," Brian smirked at me, pushing at my uncovered foot.
The phone rang loudly in my ear.
Brian laughed, "Speak of the devil."
He snatched the phone from the hook and shoved it against his ear. He mostly grunted in response, and then grinned down at me.
"I told her," he said. "I'll see what I can do...No, please don't come in here. Jimmy, no. For the love of god, do not come in here."
Brian dropped the phone back down and told me sternly to get out of bed, lest Jimmy appear and reek havoc on our room.
"Fine," I yawned angrily.
It was no use though. Within minutes, Jimmy was pounding at the door and shrieking wild obscenities.
"We're fucking coming!" Brian groaned loudly.
I pulled my hair back and knotted it with a tie. With a quick pull, I slid on my only pair of clean jeans and gave Brian the okay to open the door.
Jimmy was like a whirlwind at every turn. He breezed in violently, urging us to hurry up before he 'starved to death'.
"It's just us today! Shadz is dead," Jimmy told us as he literally shoved me through the door. "and Zach and Johnny are off ass fucking somewhere."
"Sounds about right," Brian said with a shrug.
As we made our way down the hall, the distinct sound of rage rang out through the corridor. The three of us exchanged quick, but confused, glances. The sound was clearly coming from Tyler's room, but it was two men. One was distinctly of a Brody--the other I couldn't recognize through the wooden barrier. It was booming with dominance.
Something was pulling me to investigate...to make sure Tyler was alright. I had to remind myself that, at the moment, it was none of my business.
Jimmy nudged the back of my arm lightly, pulling my stare away from the noise. I smiled at him.
By time we made it to the elevator, the shouting had fallen to ash. Just as the doors slid open, Haven's drummer went buzzing by. He was focused, nearly sprinted as he swung open the door to the stairs and tore down them with haste.
"Wonder what that's about," Brian thought aloud, his forehead wrinkled with concern.
"Probably just some Haven drama," I shrugged, lacing my voice with indifference.
Jimmy looked at me, "Did you want to go and check on Tyler?"
The way he'd asked was so calm that I wasn't sure if it was a challenge or not. I knew Jimmy could be understanding--but was that all it was? I wasn't sure what to do with it.
So, I lied a bit, "No, I'm sure it's nothing."
We stepped into the elevator and fell into a sleepy silence as we descended to the main floor. Brian and I dragged our feet, following behind one caffeinated Jimmy, who was skipping on ahead. He was already in the restaurant by time Brian and I had managed to scuffle halfway through the lobby.
"I'm too tired for him today," Brian smiled.
I just nodded.
I was too tired for all of it.
The restaurant was quiet, much to my surprise. A few patrons were already dining, scattered neatly. Jimmy had bounded over to a booth against the wall--and then I spotted Haven. Or 3/5 of Haven anyway.
Justin's back was turned to us and he was waiving his arms around like a crazy person. In a flash, Blair stepped to his side, her face grave. I guess make that 4/5 of Haven.
I can't explain the feelings that washed through my body at the sight of her. The way her hair was pulled back messily and her Avenged tank hung off of her perfect body. I hated that she was sporting a Deathbat.
Call it what you will--but I was possessed.
She stepped away from Justin and I found myself making quick steps toward her. By time I realized what was happening, I was stationed directly in front of her--mere inches from her flawless being.
She looked at me strangely.
And then I fucking slapped her. A straight on bitch slap. I didn't even know what was happening until I heard the deafening crack.
I was possessed, I swear.
Maybe I wasn't as over the whole Jimmy thing as I'd made myself out to be.
"Oh my god," I gasped at myself, making to reach for her.
She snapped her neck to look at me, fire burning in her otherwise green eyes. I watched as her fist clenched.
And then I was on the ground.
My hands found my throbbing face and I was startled to find blood in my palm.
She bent down, the stray pieces of her black hair falling into her face.
"Don't you ever hit me again," she said so threateningly that I was genuinely terrified.
But the rage.
"Oh, fuck you, Blair," I found myself hissing. "You deserved it! How could you?" I found myself growing more emotional than angry at that point. "...You were supposed to be my friend."
"Friend?" she choked. "We were never friends, Aria. You made that perfectly clear. I've been the villain in your story all this time, haven't I? I'm just playing the fucking part."
I had no words. I had no anything.
She straightened out her spine, "I don't have time for this shit."
As she stepped over me, a shocked Brian grabbed for her.
"Blair," he said pleadingly.
I watched as she ripped her arm away from him, "Don't fucking touch me, Brian."
"Blair," he said again more desperately, taking a step after her.
"It's too fucking much!" she shouted, her voice cracking just a little.
She composed herself, her eyes making for the exit.
"Can you not see that it's too much?" she asked him seriously, pain in her face. "I have to go."
He made no effort to stop her. From my place on the floor, it became painstakingly clear to me that I was no better than Blair. Maybe I was far, far worse. She was right. I'd painted her to be something I think I needed her to be. She was my scapegoat; the solution to all of mine and Jimmy's problems. What I did to Tyler was colder than what she'd done to me...I was starting to feel like I didn't understand myself at all.
But in that split second, I felt like I understood her.
I looked up to find Jimmy's tattooed arm stretched out to me. He frowned at me as I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet. My nose was still dripping blood.
"Did you have to hit her?" he half-laughed. "If you're going to hit anyone, it should probably be me."
"Brian took care of that," I grinned. "Remember?"
Jimmy rubbed at his jaw and pouted.
"What's happening?" Brian's voice pulled me back to reality.
Justin shrugged with a sigh, "Tyler...You know what, I'll leave it at that. Tyler."
A ping of understanding struck my worried mind.
"Is he okay?" I rushed.
Justin shrugged again, hesitant to tell us the truth.
"Justin," I urged, hoping he still held even a shred of respect for me as his almost-friend.
"He's pretty drunk," he told me reluctantly. "Which, you know, is fucking ridiculous at ten in the morning."
I nodded strangely.
"When Tyler gets this way..." Justin trailed off, glancing at his band mates who were shaking their heads as a subtle means to cut their drummer off. "Don't worry about it, Aria. Blair's on it."
While I was sure Blair was, indeed, on it, that wasn't good enough for me. It was obvious that whatever Tyler was going through was completely my fault. I needed to at least try to make it manageable.
"Come on," I instructed my boys.
They didn't question it. They didn't object. We filed out just the way we'd come in. I think they were probably more concerned about Blair than about Tyler, but I figured that was irrelevant.
As we neared Tyler's door, it was just as it had been less than ten minutes before. But this time, it was just Tyler. We hesitated to knock. It was angry on the other side.
"Fuck you, Blair," we could hear Tyler screaming.
Blair must have still been calm because we couldn't hear a peep from her.
Even though I knew it wasn't a good idea, I pulled the key card that was still in my possession from my pocket and scanned my way in.
The scene was horrifying. Tyler had essentially trashed the room since I'd last seen it. He was disheveled as all hell--normally a ridiculously attractive man, he looked more like a scared and tortured boy. His eyes were beat red, his fists clenched at his sides.
Blair was sitting on the very edge of the bed, she looked mortified to see us. Like her entire secret world had just had the curtain drawn on it. Her eyes found Brian, pleading behind them.
"Oh, great," Tyler growled. "The fucking cavalry has arrived."
Blair rushed over to us, pushing Jimmy back, "You guys should go."
"What's going on, man?" Brian asked sternly, puffing his chest up just enough.
"What," Tyler retorted cockily. "You don't recognize it? Isn't this all you guys fuckin' do?"
Brian glanced down at Blair. She bit at her lip.
"You should know it well," Tyler noted, pointing at Jimmy with a beer bottle. "You'd have to be this fucked to sleep with that bitch."
It wasn't clear which bitch he meant; Blair or me.
"Did you guys tag team?" Tyler snarled at me. "You finished up in here and then went and fucked him too? That's bringing sharing to a whole new level."
"Dude," Jimmy half-scoffed.
I was mortified.
"Oh, but he'd just had his dick in Blair," Tyler continued, slurring his words like a champ. "So, really, you're both equally disgusting."
"Tyler," Blair snapped, spinning to face her friend. "Enough."
"I'm neglecting the punchline!" Tyler shouted with a psychotic laugh. "You! It's you, Blair! Congratulations! You are the fucking butt of every single god damn joke."
"Tyler," she warned again.
"This guy," he said with a point to Brian, who was visibly enraged by this point, "wasn't enough for you. So, naturally, you have to turn to this fucking guy," he pointed to Jimmy. "Are you just going to fuck the whole band then? Or just the ones with girlfriends?"
She swallowed down his venom with tact. I would have pushed him out of the window if I was her--I admired her strength. But something told me this wasn't the first time a showdown like this had ensued. Maybe Tyler was the reason Blair was so guarded. Not out of protection but for defense.
I guessed that this was what Justin had cryptically eluded to.
We never should have followed her.
"Tyler," she said one last time. "You're drunk. You're acting like a fucking sociopath. Reign it in."
"Oh shut the fuck up," he rolled his eyes, collapsing onto the edge of the bed as a sloppy mess.
He took a long gulp of his beer, emptying the bottle before hastily tossing it against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces.
I flinched. Blair did not.
"Stop it," she told him sternly. "You're acting like a fucking idiot."
"And what're you, huh?" he said, tilting his head at her. "Besides pathetic. Isn't that right, Brian? She's pathetic?"
Brian opened his mouth to, no doubt, bark back something crude. Blair cut him off curtly.
"You need to take a shower," she told him. "And then you need to take a nap. Before I leave you here to clean up your own god damn mess, Tyler. I mean it. I'll leave, I swear to god."
"No you won't," he retorted. "You never do. And you know why? Because you're a total piece of shit. You are a terrible, terrible fucking person," he huffed like the words exhausted him. "And I'm the only one that'll tolerate your bullshit."
"Blair," Brian said lowly. "Let's go."
Tyler laughed loudly as Blair said no.
"It isn't a coincidence that I'm your only friend, Blair," he informed her. "Most people can't stand you. The guys...they use you because you're fucking easy. They think you're beautiful because they can't see into your soul. Not like I can. If they could, they'd turn and they'd fucking run."
"Jesus Christ," Jimmy blurted, almost amused with the crazy man rambling in the corner. "I remember my first beer."
Blair snapped at him quickly, "Jimmy!"
"You can all get the fuck out of my room now," Tyler spoke again, climbing to his feet. "Your little love...square...is boring. It's putting a damper on my day."
"Please go," Blair pleaded with the three of us--not that she was looking at me at all.
"I'm not leaving without you," Brian told her sternly.
"Oh my fuck, how cute," Tyler scoffed, fetching another beer from the mini fridge.
Blair took a deep breath, "Seriously, I need you to leave. I need to get this under control. I can't do that if you're in here antagonizing him with your existence."
"Why don't you all go," Tyler suggested smugly. "You can have her! I don't need her where I'm going!"
Blair's pleading took a genuine turn. Brian couldn't help himself. He couldn't tell her no.
"If you need me..." Brian started.
"She doesn't," Tyler interrupted loudly.
His reign came to a halt as his body began to rebel. His face ran cold and his body began to violently shake and shift. I wasn't ready to watch someone projectile vomit across the room so that was officially my green light to vacate.
I never should have gone in. Never.
But...I had a newfound respect--and sympathy--for Blair Peterson. I would never have discovered it had I not witnessed Tyler's darkness for myself. How long had she been enduring it? How the hell did she survive it?
I couldn't believe I'd ever liked him. Anyone willing to talk to Blair that way...I was stunned.
Jimmy and Brian joined me in the hall a minute later. Brian was worried, that much was clear. He took off for his room without saying another word. I think he was probably just as horrified as I was.
Jimmy was quiet.
"Honey," I spoke, startling myself with the soft sound.
He looked at me expectantly.
"You need to help her," I told him seriously. "You need to make sure she's okay."
His face shifted to confusion.
"She's your best friend, right?" I asked with a half-smile. "No way is she okay right now...So...when she emerges from the hell Tyler's putting her through...I want you to be there."
"Aria," he went to object.
"It's fine," I assured him, and I was surprised that I meant it. "I want her to be okay. This is my fault."
He shook his head, gesturing vaguely toward the door--behind which Tyler's shouting could still be heard, "That is not your fault. That...That's something else."
"She doesn't deserve that," I frowned.
He sighed, "It's what you do for love."
The way he said it was like I should know.
I guess I did.
Jimmy took a seat on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. I smiled sympathetically, accepting that Jimmy was willing to wait this out for Blair's sake. I headed for Brian, leaving Jimmy to fend for Blair's sanity. Because I knew she'd need it. Because I knew he needed it, too.
It's what you do for love.

Notes

Oh, Tyler.... Oh fucked up, miserable Tyler...

xx