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Just Before You Go

Chapter Seventy-Two: It's Just Like the Weather

Blair had practically vanished into thin air. She was surely taking a page from Jimmy’s book and working to avoid me. Not that I could really blame her, it bothered me. I thought we’d just started to patch things up and find some common ground—but…I had no one to blame but myself. It was curiosity that had stabbed a gaping hole through our friendship and nothing else. Not my indulgence or total lack of control. Nope.
I tried my best to stay out of the way. Between the landmines in the Haven camp and the nuclear warfare in the Avenged camp, I was a prisoner of war. There was nowhere to be and no peace to find.
And I’d done it to myself.
When the time finally came to report to the merchandise booth, I was relieved. It was the one and only place that I legitimately was supposed to be. Perhaps with my hands busy, I could stay out of trouble. That was the last thing I needed, anyone more band members growing a hatred for me. Surely I’d reached my quota by then.
I began unpacking the boxes, pinning sample items to the backdrop. To my surprise, Brian’s voice came booming through the venue. He almost never stopped by the booth to say hello, so I was beyond confused by his arrival. But when I caught sight of the blonde on his arm, it all made sense.
“Hey,” Brian smiled at me. “Need an extra hand? Claire’s looking for something to do.”
I wondered if Blair had spotted the girlfriend yet…and how she’d reacted. I hoped she was okay—but it was Blair Peterson after all, so I was sure she was just fine. Probably self righteous as ever. All perfect and shit…
“Sure,” I said, trying my best to sound friendly.
At that point, I could take all the friends I could get. I’d done my best work, pushing everyone away and cementing lonesome isolation for myself. It was starting to feel like things would never look up. Like I’d never snap out of my psychosis and resume the life I once had known. I didn’t even recognize myself anymore. And that, I figured then, was what Jimmy had been getting at all along.
Shit.
“Good,” Brian nodded once, kissing his blonde on the cheek quickly. “I’ll see you girls after the show.”
He disappeared the way he’d come. Claire and I stood around awkwardly for a minute before I figured out to use tasks as a means to start conversation. We made small talk about her flight and her first day on the tour as we unpacked the rest of the merch. She was so much more pleasant than Blair Peterson. It would be nice to have another female around.
“Bri mentioned you and Jimmy broke up,” she frowned. “Are you alright?”
I shrugged, figuring it not entirely wise to totally divulge the whole truth, “I’m…okay. Or I will be…I don’t know.”
She smiled sympathetically, “Break ups are hard…But I think it’s cool that you stayed. Bri seems to really like you, he was worried you’d leave.”
“I’m not sure why he cares so much about what I do,” I told her honestly.
“He says you’re the love of Jimmy’s life,” she told me like I should have known. “And he’s keen to push the two of you back together. I’m supposed to be helping with that…So, tell me. Is it possible?”
I admired her honesty. She spoke so candidly and with open warmness that I knew right away I liked her. I might have liked her more than I liked Blair Peterson if you can believe it. Blair was intriguing and mysterious…she certainly gave me that star struck sensation…But Claire was a real human being. She was planted on this earth and not up on a gifted pedestal. Blair could never know that I liked Claire though—I was in some trouble.
“We’re supposed to try being friends,” I told her simply.
“Friends,” she repeated, reminding me right away just how very lame the idea was.
I nodded.
“How’s that working out for you?” she smiled warmly.
“He kissed me today,” I thought aloud. “…Twice.”
She laughed, giving her head a light shake, “Yeah, that’s totally how I treat all my friends.”
Maybe it wasn’t in her case, but I wondered if she knew that it had apparently become part of Brian’s reality. I wondered if Brian had told her about Blair…and about their hookup the night before. What was I saying? Of course, he hadn’t told her. Why would he?
So there Claire was, ready and committed to act as Brian’s girlfriend…and he’d gone ahead and slept with someone else. The whole group of them were fucked, I decided then. Matt was pining after a girl he knew his best friend liked, said best friend was sleeping with another girl the very night before his actual girlfriend was set to arrive, and their friend was flip-flopping about his relationship. Confusing.
“Yeah,” I finally sighed. “It’s complicated, I guess.”
“Well,” she sighed back. “For what it’s worth…I don’t know Jimmy very well, but I do know that he was really quiet today. I know that’s not exactly normal behaviour for him…I think he’s sad.”
“Good,” I said seriously. “He should be. I’ve been sad for weeks, it’s his turn.”
She agreed, and we silently decided to leave it at that.
The night was busy and by the end of it all, I was exhausted. It was a nice change to have a second hand helping out, though. I was glad Claire had been there and was happy to have some assistance boxing everything back up. It worked itself out much quicker and easier than every other night I’d done it alone.
When we finally made it back to the line of buses, a party had broken out. Everyone was gathered around and music was blaring from the speakers. It was a nice shift to find everyone in good spirits, getting along, sharing drinks and festivities. This was the last night on the road before a glorious three days in a hotel. They were part of the days off the groups had been gifted, which meant we could depart from the venue whenever we bloody well felt like it.
Blair and Jimmy were slamming shots, I noticed right away. Brian flocked to Claire, asking her how the night had gone and ensuring I’d been nice to her. She promised I was sweet and that we’d become fast friends. It wasn’t entirely untruthful.
I could feel the ice ruminating from Blair Peterson’s dead stare a mile away. Brian kissed Claire gently and I swear I heard Blair’s blood boil beneath her tattooed skin. She swallowed it down quickly, turning her attention back to Jimmy. They downed another series of shots.
Tyler stepped in front of my eyes, distracting me from Blair’s jealousy—and my own. He smiled.
“I hear you had help tonight,” he said flatly.
I nodded, “I did, indeed.”
“If Brian’s girlfriend’s sticking around for a while, do you think maybe we could steal you sometimes?” he asked hopefully. “Mona could really use the break.”
“Sure,” I agreed without giving it a second thought. “I’d love to help.”
Tyler beamed, “Great. She’ll be so pumped to here that.”
He went to leave but I caught myself stopping him. I grabbed him by the wrist. He looked at me curiously but without much else to take away. I just kind of smiled.
It pained me to realize that I didn’t want him to leave my side. I just wasn’t sure if it was because I had genuine, albeit confusing, feelings for him, or if it was because Jimmy was watching. Maybe it was a bittersweet mixture of the two. Either way, I was glad to find him attach himself to my hip.
We excused ourselves from Brian and Claire and headed for the cooler. To my surprise, Blair didn’t appear as a rapture when Tyler reached for a beer. He cracked the top and took a satisfied gulp.
“Are you supposed to be drinking?” I mothered with a grin.
He shrugged, “Fuck it.”
The strangest song I’d ever heard crashed through the stereo speakers. It started with a drum beat. Blair and Jimmy bolted alive—much to my confusion.
As the guitar sounded, they were cheering loudly, asking each other excitedly if the other liked this song too. It was kind of cute.
“Quit complaining, brother!” they shouted at each other, shaking their hips to the beat and leaning into one another. “No one lives forever!”
They demanded attention without even realizing it. The way they swayed and grooved to the beat was hilariously entertaining. That was the epitome of living. They didn’t care who was watching, they didn’t care what they were doing, they were just feeling their life. They were totally in the moment and totally in their element.
Jealousy sprang up once more…but it was different this time. This time I was almost grieving—because maybe I’d been fighting the inevitable. Maybe I shouldn’t have been worrying about whether or not Jimmy and Blair were as much as I should have been considering whether or not Jimmy and Blair should be.
“No one lives forever!” they shouted happily, tossing their heads back to laugh loudly.
My eyes wandered to Brian, who was watching with curious jealousy. Claire was making a bitch face, she wasn’t even trying to hide the scowl. Apparently jealousy was a common vein in this crowd, and it was bleeding out through all of us.
Except Jimmy and Blair.
They were pointing at each others’ ridiculousness, cheering and singing and dancing in the dim light of the parking lot.
“What is this song?” I finally asked Tyler, angry at how amused I still was.
He laughed, “No idea. But apparently Blair has found someone with a similar taste in weird fucking music.”
“What does she like?” I asked curiously.
He shrugged, “She tried to force her shit on me once. I wasn’t having it. She keeps her weird shit to herself now. This must be one of her closet bands.”
I caught Brian mouthing the words from behind his beer, his eyes absolutely glued to his best friend and his sort-of-kind-of-almost-love interest. He was practically foaming at the mouth.
I dragged Tyler with me as we neared Brian. Tyler was less hostile that night, which I assumed had something to do with Claire’s existence. Brian happily took the opportunity to pull his eyes away from Jimmy and Blair.
“What is this song?” I asked Brian with a little grin.
He blinked, glancing back at the dancing duo quickly, “No One Lives Forever.”
“Makes sense,” I laughed. “But who is it?”
“Oingo Boingo,” he practically growled. “I had no idea she liked them.”
The way he said it made it sound like it might be a huge turn on for him. Claire caught it too, leaning herself into him immediately. He wrapped an arm around her as reassurance.
“No one, no one, no one, no one,” Blair and Jimmy shouted, their faces inches apart. “No one lives forever!”
They howled with laughter, shoving at each other playfully as the song cut itself out in ending. They looked so…happy. Connected.
“I’m going to go grab a sweater,” Tyler told me. “I’ll be right back.”
He took a step away, but in classic form, I caught myself bothered.
“Wait,” I called to his back, waiting for him to turn back around. “I’ll come with you.”
This time, Jimmy wasn’t watching.
This time it was all me.

Notes

xx

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RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@kiss my sas
I'm sorry!!!! Didn't mean to kick you while you're down, I swear!!

fyction fyction
5/14/19

I'm so proud of you for finishing this masterpiece, but I am SO SAD!!!
WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN AND UPSETTING THE SICK AUSSIE?!??!?!
WHAT IS LIFE??!???!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

IT IS NOT OVER!!!
I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT IS OVER!!!!!!
PLAGUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

Holy shit, holy shit, I am not prepared!!!!
Going to read the... last... chapter now...

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19