Just Before You Go

The evening air had rolled through the party and before long, people were filing out. Avenged hung around; only Tyler and Blair lingered behind. Though, it didn’t take long for Tyler to grow tired and long for departure.
“Just leave me your cell,” Blair told him. “And then you can go home.”
He gave her an undeniably inquisitive look. She just laughed.
“That way, if I need you—or anyone, for that matter…I can call,” she told him simply. “Or if you need me…”
“I’ll be fine,” he rushed, glancing quickly at me and then back to his friend.
He handed her his cell phone, reminded her that she needed one of her own and then kissed her quickly on the cheek. He looked at me nervously.
“I’ve got it under control,” I grinned, holding my drink tighter to my chest.
He pursed his lips, “Just for safety’s sake, I’m going to walk around you.”
And he did.
“Night, girls!” he called to us before formally stopping to offer a sincere goodbye to the boys.
Blair and I stood awkwardly, sipping at our drinks and not speaking at all.
“Pool,” was all she said before slipping away.
I followed her to the very end and mimicked her actions as she sunk to the ground and dipped her feet beneath the water. She leaned back on her hands and sighed up to the night’s sky. I was in absolute awe of her beauty, as always. She didn’t seem to notice—as always.
“Thanks for swindling this,” she said without looking.
I was confused, “Swindling what?”
“The tour,” she said fondly. “I’m not sure why…or how…but I’m positive you had a hand in it.”
“No, I just—”
She cut me off with a knowing smile, “I don’t need an explanation…I just wanted to say thanks.”
“Sure,” I nodded warmly.
“I don’t, uh…I don’t have a lot of friends,” she said awkwardly, turning her attention back to the stars that began to illuminate themselves. “So, I’m not sure how to…be…a friend.”
“I don’t either,” I confessed, sinking onto my hands too. “It’s hard to make friends—especially in California.”
She laughed, “I know! Which is strange because everyone here is just so god damn friendly.”
“It is weird,” I giggled. “But you’re intimidating. That’s probably your problem.”
She seemed genuinely taken aback by this as she practically snapped her neck to look at me, “I’m intimidating?”
“Big time.”
“No way,” she waved me off, sitting up to pull her cigarettes from her denim shorts pocket.
“You are,” I insisted. “But…once you get passed the terrifyingly beautiful exterior, you’re really nice.”
“Nice?” she gasped. “Could I get that in writing? Tyler will never believe someone said it on their own volition.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, “You are nice…I was actually surprised. The guys talked so much about you before I met you that I wasn’t sure what to expect, really…”
She eyed me oddly as the flame from her lighter lit up her light eyes, “They talked about me?”
Oops.
I nodded, “Well yeah…They really like your band.”
Good save.
She smiled, “Fair enough.”
“I’m glad you were here today,” I told her, trying to hide my girlish love. “I like talking to you.”
She pulled her lips to one side of her mouth, sizing me up without words.
“What?” I finally asked when she still hadn’t spoken.
She shrugged, taking a long drag of her smoke, “Nothing. I think we might be friends—I’m just trying to figure out the semantics of what that means.”
I wondered if she knew that she talked a lot like Brian. He’d said similar things to me more times than I could count—and had the same amount of coyness. Blair was far less smug though; she was eloquent and a good listener. Brian could be at times, but mostly fell short. Maybe Blair could fix him. You know, in the way that Jimmy had fixed me. He’d really brought out all of the wonderful qualities I hadn’t known I’d had. Jimmy made me braver; he made me think more thoroughly and speak up for myself more fluently. And I think I’d fixed him up, too—just maybe not as noticeably. But I’d tamed him just enough the he wasn’t tight-rope walking along a tight string of danger. He was pretty well balanced now…I just hoped he could stay in that place for a while longer.
“Your friend,” she said then. “The one that left—Ginny?”
“Jenny,” I tried not to laugh.
“Shit, sorry,” she winced. “What’s her deal?”
I furrowed my brows, “What do you mean?”
“Does she have a thing for Brian?” she asked so coolly that you’d almost think it was genuine curiosity.
I shook my head.
“Are you sure?” she pried. “The comments she made earlier…felt a little like a dig. I’m just not really sure why she was digging at me.”
“I mean…I’m not sure if she was,” I said casually. “She did sleep with him…but it was ages ago.”
Blair’s face tightened just as it had before, “I see.”
“I’m not sure why she felt the need to bring it up, though,” I added.
She clenched her jaw as she took another puff, “Women.”
“Can I ask something?” I blurted out, desperate for the chance.
After watching her and Brian splash around, flirting and giggling in the pool all evening, it was safe to say that my suspicions were founded. She watched him when he wasn’t around and he was sure to maintain a good proximity to her at all times. He was weary of Tyler, though, and it showed. But they’d made progress—and no one had started any fist fights.
She nodded at me.
“Why do you care?” I asked cautiously.
She opened her mouth to respond but stopped. Her eyebrows fell a little.
Aha!
The corners of her lips betrayed her as they curled subtly into a little smile. She pointed at me with her cigarette and scoffed.
“I guess it doesn’t,” she finally said.
“I know that Brian can be a bit of a…twit…” I said lowly, mindful of the volume of my voice. “But he can also be really sweet.”
She wouldn’t look at me, but she nodded along as I spoke.
“And he’s pretty funny,” I continued. “Intelligent…he’s a good friend to Jimmy. He’s talented…And you haven’t asked me why I’m telling you this yet so I’m assuming you’re in agreement.”
A grin spread from one ear to the other as she dared herself to finally look at me.
She lowered her head just a tad, “You’re perceptive, hm?”
“Sometimes,” I replied weakly, her gaze making me feel small.
“I’ll tell you something,” she smirked. “And it’ll be a test of our little pseudo-friendship.”
“Okay,” I told her even though I’d never tested well.
She tossed her thoughts around from side to side before speaking, “He’s cute…and there’s something about him that, um…definitely has my attention. I haven’t figured out what it is…or why he’s got me all—I don’t even know. One second, he’s a total douche…but then he’s…I don’t know…It doesn’t matter. I don’t date…and I won’t change that now…so…This needs to stay between you and I, Aria.”
“Okay,” I said again, more certainly this time.
“I don’t have a lot of females in my life,” she said with a sigh. “So…I’m trusting you.”
I smiled, “I won’t tell a soul that you maybe sort of might have a resemblance of a crush on Brian.”
She laughed, nudging me with her shoulder and nearly murdering me with sweaty fangirling, “I appreciate that.”
We talked about the women in her life and she said that the only one of any real mention was her audio technician, Mona. She said that Mona was the closest thing she had to a girlfriend but that they hardly spent time together outside of gigs and the upcoming tour. Blair said she liked to keep her circle small, and that once she got a grip on someone, she liked to keep it until the end. It sounded a lot like the Avenged circle. She’d make a nice little addition, I was sure of it.
Eventually Blair disappeared back into her wonderful life, the only difference was now she also had my phone number. The burden to call was no longer resting solely on me. Jimmy found me, still by the pool and he immediately folded himself up to sit with me, his long legs hanging into the water.
“Did you have a good night?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“Are you excited about Haven?” he asked more vivaciously this time.
I nodded again, “You really are the master.”
“I know!” he cheered. “I keep telling everyone, but no one ever listens to me! All I ever hear is that I’m insane or I’m out of my mind or blah blah blah. It’s about time someone acknowledged my brilliance!”
I shut him up with a kiss. A thank you kiss, an I love you kiss, a kiss that made his racing mind silence for a second. I was glad that I was passed the ‘I don’t know’ phase of a relationship and fully planted into the ‘this is where I need to be’ portion.
He ran his fingers through my hair, squinting at me.
“You should be wearing your glasses,” I told him playfully.
He rolled his blue eyes at me.
“So…do you think we made any headway with our devious plan?” I asked Jimmy, firmly rooted in my decision not to tell him what Blair had partially confessed to me.
He grinned widely, “Fuck yeah we have. Did you see Brian following her around? Brian doesn’t follow girls. That was big, Aria. Big. Like as big as my—”
Another shut up kiss.
He laughed as we pulled apart, kicking his feet just beneath the clear surface of the water.
“There’s no one in the world I’d rather scheme and plot with,” he told me fondly, just a hint of shenanigan hiding behind his perfect smile. “You’re the best girlfriend I could have ever dreamt of.”
I just smiled.
“So, that’s why I was sort of thinking,” he said so casually that I almost wasn’t paying attention. “We should see how the tour goes…”
He paused, and I was annoyed.
“Go on,” I urged weirdly, unsure what he was trying to say.
“If we don’t totally hate each other by the end of it,” he half-laughed, “maybe you should just move in with me when we get back.”
I nearly choked on my oxygen, “What?”
“But not here,” he waved at his house like it was nothing. “We should move downtown.”
“I—what?”
“A condo on the beach,” he nodded to himself. “That’s where we should be. Imagine waking up to the waves every morning? Fuck, I bet the trips to the bathroom would increase…we should make sure we have two bathrooms.”
“Jimmy,” I sort of snapped, putting my hand on his shoulder.
“What?”
I stared him down uncertainly, “Are you serious?”
He narrowed his eyes at me, “Yeah, why not?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Or how to feel. Or how to react.
I was beyond confused.
“A condo by the beach,” he said again, dismissing my obviously tortured mind.
At least, I figured, I’d have the entire tour to make up my mind. He was right about that; we’d see how that went…it might be a good indicator of what we’d be like as roommates. But I also really valued my alone time…I didn’t know what to do.
So, I said, “Maybe.”
He smiled, “Maybe to a condo at the beach, right?”
“No,” I laughed weakly, resting my head onto his shoulder. “It’s a yes to the condo. It’s a maybe to you.”
He snickered, “Well played. Well played.”
Why not? Oh, boy.

Notes

Girlmances, almostmances and Revmances.

Oh, my cold heart.

xx