Just Before You Go

Eight days went by with no word from Jimmy. I assumed I’d scared him off somehow and tried not to let it bum me out too much. But I was definitely disappointed. I’d thought, at the least, we could have been friends.
I was definitely confused. If he’d wanted to run from me, he very well could have; why tell me you want to see me again if you don’t? That part was troubling me and it plagued my busy mind all of the time.
He hadn’t shown up to the bar at all—Jenny said she hadn’t seen him either. Their whole group had shown up, as always, on Wednesday night but Jimmy had not been in tow. She’d asked where he was but no one gave a definite response. I figured if he was dead in an alley somewhere, someone might think to mention that. So, naturally, I assumed he was avoiding me.
Monday rolled around and I was in the thick of things in the office. We’d had a serious trial creep up on us and now we were all working overtime to try and get prepared. This meant I was taking on the paperwork for nearly everyone in the office who were called to do research and prep. The mountain on my desk was almost overwhelming.
“Can you fax these out for me?” Carol, one of the paralegals asked me. “Right away.”
I told her to add it to my pile—apparently this was not the correct response.
“I’m trying to get through everything,” I told her slowly. “Just put it there and I’ll get it out before the end of the day.”
“I don’t understand how you’re struggling,” she said cockily to me. “Don’t you have a law degree?”
“Yes,” I answered uncomfortably.
“But you can’t handle paperwork?” she scoffed. “Good luck with that.”
She dropped the documents onto my desk carelessly and then disappeared back down the hall to her office. I took a deep breath to keep from having an aneurysm. I’d never really understood peoples’ desire to kick someone when they’re down. It was obvious I was busy; it was obvious I was overwhelmed. The polite thing to do would have been to fax her own fucking documents but no. Instead, I was a paper monkey.
That was the first time that I thought seriously about quitting. I had more legal education than she did—and yet, there we were. I was essentially her bitch. And she had total authority to berate me for my lacking work skills.
My phone vibrated across my desk. I pushed it aside, determined to get through the stack of pressing shit on my desk. Every time I finished a job and went to start another, I couldn’t help but feel like I’d never get through it.
I was trying not to cry.
“Here,” one of the senior lawyers said to me. “Needs to be done by 2:00 this afternoon.”
“What is it?” I asked, my hands shaking a little as I took the folder from his hands.
“You can read, can’t you?” he asked.
I just nodded. If I’d tried to respond, I certainly would have had an emotional outburst. That just wasn’t my thing.
Instead, I placed the folder onto my keyboard so that I wouldn’t lose track of it and then hightailed it to the bathroom, sure to grab my cell phone as I leapt from my desk.
I dialed my parents number and hoped that my mother had come home for her lunch hour.
“Hello?” she answered pleasantly.
“Mom?” I sighed into the phone.
“Aria, what’s wrong?”
I groaned, “I really, really hate my job.”
“What’s going on?” she asked curiously.
“It’s just…crazy busy and I’m falling really far behind. Everyone’s being assholes about it—I’m just starting to feel fed up. I know that I have to start somewhere but I’m starting to think that this isn’t a good fit for me.”
“Can I give you some advice?”
“Of course you can,” I half-laughed. “It’s the reason for my call.”
“Stick it out for the rest of the day,” she encouraged lightly. “Get as much done as you can. Show them what you’re capable of. If it still isn’t good enough, I say you quit.”
I’d never heard my mother tell anyone to quit anything. She was usually adamant that people see things out to the very end. I was shocked.
“A receptionist job is not worth your sanity,” she laughed, sensing my confusion. “You have a law degree, Sweetheart. If you’re not using your abilities, then what’s the point of being unhappy?”
“Okay,” I sighed. “I’ll stay until the end of the day.”
“Let me know what happens,” she said kindly.
“Thanks, Mom,” I smiled and flipped my phone shut.
I still wasn’t ready to get back to my desk. The looming workload was enough to give me a serious sense of anxiety. It wasn’t even the work; I could handle the work. It was the endless attitude and condescension that went along with it.
It seemed harmless to play one quick game of snake on my phone, given that I was already hidden away. I needed a few more minutes to decompress.
As I was just about to load up my game, I noticed a little envelope in the top right corner of my screen. Right, it had been vibrating earlier. I’d totally forgotten in the midst of everything.
I opened up my messages to find three from a number I didn’t know.
From: 7145552538
Hey Stranger, it’s Jimmy. What’s up?
My heart fluttered a little in my chest as I moved onto the next message.
From: 7145552538
Sorry for disappearing. It’s a long and crazy story.
From: 7145552538
Afterthought: You should let me tell you said wild story over dinner sometime.
I wasn’t sure how to respond—was I supposed to reply to every text individually? Send one large one that covered every hit? Was I supposed to ignore him because he’d ignored me? I wasn’t sure.
To: 7145552538
Hello there. I’m stuck at work hating my life. Dinner sounds good though.
That would have to suffice.
I decided against the game of snake and instead returned to my desk. I shuttered at the sight of all the work to be done—and there was a new pile that had developed, as if magically, on my chair. How passive aggressive.
I got to work once more, trying to be speedy but detail-oriented in my drafts. I faxed out documents one by one until I was sure I’d gotten through them all. I tossed the confirmation pages into a folder and pushed that to the side of my desk.
Then I moved into organizing the legal research. This was easily the most tedious and time-consuming activity. My phone distracted me.
From: 7145552538
At the bar?
It occurred to me that I’d never mentioned my second job to Jimmy. He had no idea that I held university degrees or that I’d reduced myself to slaving away in an office where the pay hardly covered the price of gas to get there.
Especially since I was currently without a vehicle—my alternator had blown and it would have cost more to fix it than the vehicle was worth. I’d scrapped it for a couple hundred bucks. Now I was catching cabs to and from work every day.
To: 7145552538
No, no. At my other job—I work as a receptionist in a law office.
There was a minute before his reply.
From: 7145552538
Which one?
“Hey, did you fax out my things yet?” Carol asked me impatiently.
I handed her the file, forcing myself to smile.
She flipped through the pages quickly, nodding at me as my only acknowledgment. No thank you, no ‘perfect’; no nothing. I rolled my eyes.
To: 7145552538
Wilson and Partners. It’s uptown and full of snobs.
Now, I really wanted to keep working but I was being constantly interrupted by lawyers, paralegals, and assistants with more work. And more degradation.
From: 7145552538
So why are you hating your life? I know law is boring but….
I smiled to myself. It was a nice break from the chaos I’d found myself in. But I was determined to make it through the day. Maybe tomorrow would be better.
To: 7145552538
Just one of those days.
From: 7145552538
You should probably just quit.
I shook my head.
To: 7145552538
I can’t just quit my job. I need it to, you know, eat.
“Aria,” Carol hissed at me, “Did you finish my brief yet? I need to be in court in twenty minutes.”
“Not yet,” I replied hurriedly. “I’ll finish it now.”
“Here’s a tip for you,” she said real quietly. “Get off your phone and do your damn job. If you can’t hack it here, maybe you should just go home.”
“I’ll have it to you in ten,” I said seriously.
She rolled her eyes and disappeared. I got going on the brief.
From: 7145552538
You’re on Beach Boulevard? Everyone there is a dick.
I replied quickly, under my desk so that Carol couldn’t bust me again.
To: 7145552538
Yes. And yes.
Then I put my phone away—Jimmy would have to wait until later. I was busting my ass, trying so hard to get the brief done quickly. But the research had a deadline too and I was doing everything I could not to pull my damn hair out. I guess I’d jinxed it when I’d said my job was too boring.
The little bell above the door jingled. Without looking up, I held up a finger and said, “I’ll be with you in one second.”
“I’ll wait forever,” a familiar voice replied.
I looked up to find Jimmy lingering over my desk. To say I was surprised was an understatement. His perfect blue eyes met mine as he grinned like a moron.
“What’s up?” I managed surprisedly.
“I thought I’d come cheer you up!”
“That’s so sweet,” I smiled genuinely. “But I’m crazy busy.”
“At times like these, Aria, it’s important to ask ourselves one very important question.”
I waited for him to continue but he did not.
“What question is that?”
He smirked, “What would Jimmy do?”
“Aria!” Carol’s voice roared down the hallway. “Brief!”
I looked at Jimmy in defeat, shaking my head. I excused myself to bring Carol her beloved paperwork that she was more than capable of drafting herself. She snarled at me to get out of her office so she could review it—quickly, she’d added. Since I’d been so slow in getting it too her.
When I returned to my desk, Jimmy was still standing there.
“I really want to quit,” I told him quietly.
He shrugged, “Then quit.”
“Look at all this work,” I told him seriously.
“If you quit, it isn’t your problem,” he grinned deviously at me.
He had a point.
“Life’s too short, Aria,” he told me with a knowing look. “If you quit, I’ll buy you lunch.”
He wiggled his eyebrows at me, which immediately lifted my spirits. I was supposed to give it a day, though—I’d promised myself I’d make it through the day.
“This whole thing is wrong,” Carol shrieked at me, coming at me from the rear and startling the shit out of me. “Are you sure you have a degree? Your writing level is that of a six year old.”
Jimmy’s eyes were wide.
“Okay,” I laughed like a psychopath.
I gathered my belongings and tossed them into my purse, slinging it over my shoulder as I met Jimmy near the door.
“I’m out of here,” I smiled to Carol.
“Where are you going?” she demanded angrily. “I need this brief ASAP!”
“Do it yourself then,” I smirked. “I quit.”
Jimmy and I ducked out of the office together and at first I felt free. He was commended me on my use of ‘what would Jimmy do’ skills. But after a few minutes of celebration, I started to worry about my income. Part-time at the bar was not enough to bring home the bacon—or the instant noodles.
I was deep in worried thought when Jimmy poked me in the shoulder to get my attention.
“You have a degree?” he asked me curiously.
I nodded, “I have two.”
“So, you’re smart,” he smiled.
“I guess so,” I laughed awkwardly. “Not that quitting your job is a particularly smart move.”
“It is if you’re unhappy,” he replied happily. “Where do you want to eat?”
“Anywhere,” I replied simply. “I’m easy.”
He raised his eyebrows at me, “Is that so?”
My face flushed, “Shut up. You know what I meant.”
We walked a few minutes longer before Jimmy pulled me into a dimly lit restaurant. Apparently they made the best burgers on the coast, according to Jimmy—and a neon sign—anyway.
“So where have you been?” I asked bravely once we’d ordered two of their classic burgers.
He looked around the room, anywhere but at me. He didn’t answer me.
“Are you not at liberty to discuss it?” I teased.
His crystal eyes snapped back to me then and he smirked, “Something like that.”
“I was beginning to think I’d scared you off…”
“Never,” he smiled and I was in awe of his beauty again.
He was, admittedly, not my type. I was into muscular men with strong jaw lines and even stronger tempers. Jimmy was sweet and gentle. I was told he could be real rambunctious but I’d yet to see it for myself. I’d seen flashes of it in his conversations with others, I guess. I looked forward to seeing that wild side of Jimmy.
My little crush was excited to see all sides of Jimmy. Even the disappearing sides.

Notes

xx