Just Before You Go

Jimmy woke me bright and early for more “festival fun”. I couldn’t believe that he wasn’t hungover. If he was, you certainly couldn’t tell. He was bouncing around the hotel room, singing loudly. He’d dragged me out for an early breakfast and chatted to me the whole time. My head was throbbing. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to go and be part of a festival.
“Did you have fun last night?” he asked me with a mouth full of breakfast burrito.
I nodded, “I did.”
“Good,” he smiled. “This is what it’ll be like when you come on tour with me.”
I nearly choked on my waffle, “I’m sorry, what?”
He snickered, “Thought I’d vet that idea passed you before actually suggesting it.”
“Jimmy, I can’t go on a tour,” I frowned. “I have a job.”
“So?” he asked, munching away. “You can’t take some time off?”
“How much time?” I asked suspiciously. “And what tour?”
Last I’d checked, Avenged wasn’t even halfway through recording their newest album. A tour seems like something that Jimmy would have mentioned long before planning to embark on one. Though, it wouldn’t be the first time that Jimmy had up and left on me…
“Don’t worry,” he smirked. “We don’t leave until October.”
“That’s like,” I counted in my head, “seven months away. You’re vetting it by me now?”
He shrugged, “Yeah,” he swallowed, “why not?”
I was a little flattered…and incredibly overjoyed. If he was already planning to take me away nearly a year into the future, then I assumed that I wasn’t the only one investing themselves in this relationship.
“We can talk about it in October,” I chuckled.
I shoveled waffle chunks into my mouth hungrily. I’d already had three cups of coffee but when the waitress came by for refills, I just couldn’t turn her down. Especially if I was supposed to be gearing up for another day of festival fun.
“Okay,” Jimmy nodded, tossing a couple of bills onto the table, “Are you ready for more festival fun?”
“Stop saying that to me,” I grinned.
“It’s time to get daaaaay drunk,” Jimmy sang loudly as we walked back to the car.
“Hey, fuckers!” Brian screeched as he pulled his car up beside us.
We stared at him. Matt leaned down in the passenger seat to wave, his aviators pulled down to cover his, no doubt, blood-shot eyes. He, in particular, had gotten real out of control the night before. There was table dancing involved. Jimmy had joined in. It was … interesting.
“Fancy seeing you here,” Matt grinned at us.
Jimmy just stared.
“So, we were talking,” Brian said to us. “You guys should just meet us back at the hotel and we’ll catch a cab to the show. We’re all inclined to get properly toasted.”
Jimmy looked to me for response. I just shrugged.
“We’ll meet you there,” Jimmy nodded at his friend, pushing me toward the car.
Brian hollered as he pulled into a parking spot, “Behave yourselves!”
Jimmy drove us back to the hotel, where we promptly crawled back into bed. Realistically, what else is there to do when you’re staying in a hotel, waiting to go to the next activity?
“So this is your life, huh?” I asked curiously as we lay snuggled up together in the silence.
Jimmy looked at me confusedly, “My life?”
“Yeah,” I half-laughed. “Festivals and concerts, drinking all day and night…This is what a musician’s life is like?”
He made the strangest face and laughed, “Sometimes, I guess.”
“Interesting,” I said slowly.
He was still eying me up strangely.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I snickered. “I just find you fascinating.”
“Me?” he smirked, closing one eye at me. “I’m boring. You’re the one with the life chalked full of drama.”
I groaned loudly, “That’s not on purpose.”
“Maybe not,” he smiled. “But it’s the truth.”
“But I’m not a famous drummer,” I noted pointedly. “So…you know…comparatively, I’m boring.”
“There’s nothing boring about you,” he said seriously, walking his fingers up my face.
I turned away from his hand, burying my face into his chest. He adjusted his grip, squeezing me a little tighter. All of my troubles could be solved by crawling deep into his arms. I was sure of it. It was a comfort I’d never known—and never known that I’d longed for.
“So, did you make up with Jen yet?” Jimmy asked me, poking at my shoulder insistently.
I nodded into him.
“Come out of there,” he laughed, tugging on my arm.
“Can’t,” I spoke, muffled by his black tee. “Too much drama weighing me down.”
He poked my ribs and I jolted from the sensation. I moved my head ever so slightly to give him a warning look. He was staring down at me with his eyebrows raised and one hand drawn up near his face like a claw.
“I’ll make you come out of there,” he grinned widely. “I swear I will.”
“No,” I whined. “Let me live in here.”
I buried my face back into his chest. He poked at my side from my shoulder to my hip, I squirmed with each touch.
“That the best you’ve got, Sullivan?” I challenged cheekily.
Without warning, he flipped me onto my back and straddled my hips. He held my hands above my head with one of his giant hands. He was grinning proudly down at me, looking my body over.
“Look how vulnerable you are,” he cooed. “It would be a real shame if someone…”
And he walked his fingers up and down my stomach, sending shivers down my spine. I tried to fight him but I was far too small. And weak. So, so weak.
“Get off of me,” I giggled as he dug his fingers into my sides mercilessly.
I was nearly screaming, wriggling and writhing every which way as he continued to tickle my torso relentlessly. He was looking quite proud of himself as giggle and moans escaped from my throat and tears formed in my eyes.
“Stop!” I shouted, trying not to laugh. “I’m going to pee!”
He stopped instantly, grimacing down at me but still maintain his grip on my arms.
“Don’t you piss on me,” he warned me with a finger pointed at my nose.
“Technically I would be peeing under you,” I told him cockily.
His face turned from hysterical to affectionate in a matter of seconds. I found his eyes searching mine, but I wasn’t sure what for. He was just…staring.
“What?” I asked nervously. “Do I have something on my face or something?”
He smirked a little, “Nah, you’re perfect.”
“Are you getting cutesy on me?” I teased, struggling to get my arms free.
He released his grip and hesitantly removed his body from my lap. I was a little disappointed to see him go. But he welcomed me back into the crook in his shoulder and I took it up greedily.
“I’m really glad you came with me,” Jimmy said happily. “It’s way more fun with you around.”
I smiled, “Really? I honestly didn’t think I was bringing much fun to the weekend.”
“Why do you have to do that?” he asked pointedly, glancing down at me without moving his face. “Do you always have to be so self-depreciating? It isn’t exactly an endearing quality.”
My heart stopped beating in my chest and I froze. I was immediately anxious and embarrassed. I didn’t know why I was always so ‘self-depreciating’ but his little snap only concreted that for me. My mind was running through a million different thoughts and examples of how bloody annoying I could be with my constant griping.
I’d always been told that I was boring—or predictable…or both. So…It wasn’t exactly a far stretch of the imagination that maybe that notion had been embedded into my brain.
“Sorry,” I finally said, squirming away from Jimmy and scooting off the end of the bed.
He sighed, propping himself onto his elbows, “Come back.”
“No,” I rushed, scurrying out of the room and into the bathroom. “I should get ready to go, Brian and Matt will be back soon. I don’t want to hold up the fun.”
I closed the bathroom door firmly and was sure to turn the lock. My heart was sad as I slumped against the white door and onto the floor. To say I was feeling humiliated would be a serious understatement. It’s like exposing a soft spot and having someone hold a torch to it.
I was aware that I could be a little self-loathing and insecure at times…but to hear Jimmy call me out for it—and to add that it wasn’t “endearing”—was a little too much. Sometimes I was sure that I was still fourteen.
I could handle, and defend myself against, other people’s comments and opinions about my life choices—or my personality traits. However, one backhanded comment from my love interest and suddenly I’m hiding out in the bathroom? I shook my head at myself.
“Aria,” Jimmy spoke through the door. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
I glanced around the room nervously.
“I didn’t mean it the way it came out,” he continued when I didn’t respond.
I pushed myself off the floor and over to the counter where my makeup was still scattered all around. True to what I’d said, I started to get myself ready for another day of festival fun.
“Are you drowning yourself in the bathtub?” he spoke through the door again. “Don’t kill yourself on my account.”
I scoffed loudly.
“You’re being dramatic,” he finally said before giving up.
Dramatic. I hated that.
Maybe I was a little dramatic at times, but who exactly had made him the judge and jury of reasonable reactions? I never chastised him for any of his shortcomings or less than appealing personality traits. Let’s be real; he could be a lot to fucking handle. But I rarely said a word about it.
My bathroom hideaway lasted another twenty minutes until I heard a knocking at our hotel door. Within a few seconds, I could hear Brian and Jimmy getting ready to go.
“Hey!” Brian shouted through the door. “Are you almost done in there?”
“Two seconds!” I called back, tucking my makeup away into its bag.
“Oh sure, she’ll answer you,” I heard Jimmy grumble.
I swung the door open and breezed past the boys, grabbing cash from my wallet and stuffing it into the back pocket of my jeans. Jimmy just watched.
“It’s tense in here,” Brian smirked. “Are you guys fighting or did I interrupt your afternoon delight?”
“Fighting,” Matt suggested with a sly grin. “The vibe in here is definitely angry.”
“We’re not fighting,” I groaned, plunking my sunglasses onto my head. “Are we going or what?”
Brian and Matt exchanged looks before nodding, leading the way from the room.
“Do you have the key?” I asked Jimmy.
He approached me quickly and planted his lips on mine without warning. I sunk into him, forgetting why I’d be upset at all.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled away. “You know I think all parts of you are endearing.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I just wish you could see what I see,” he shrugged, looking a little bashful in that second. “I think you’re perfect.”
Although I wanted to object, I stopped myself.
“Okay,” is all I could think of to say.
“Do you hate me now?” he asked, making sad puppy dog eyes at me.
I smiled against my will, “No, I don’t hate you.”
“Good,” he decided happily. “That would be tragic, given the circumstances.”
“What circumstances?” I asked slowly.
His eyes widened quickly before he turned and pushed me closer to the door, “Let’s go, Brian gets snippy when he has to wait.”
“What circumstances?” I asked again as Jimmy shepherded me out the door and into the hallway.
“About time,” Brian groaned. “We’ve been waiting out here for an hour.”
“You,” Jimmy smiled at his friend, bopping him on the tip of his nose, “are impatient.”
Clearly Jimmy wasn’t going to clarify his vague and cryptic comment, so I tucked it into the back of my mind to be brought up again later. In the meantime, I decided to enjoy my life—and enjoy the festival fun.

Notes

xx