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Just Before You Go

Chapter Twenty-Six: Blinded in Chains

“So tell me,” Matt slurred, nearly spilling his beer as he swayed back and forth, “what did you think of the studio?”
I smiled pleasantly as I sat a tray of drinks down and started passing them out to each of the tattooed men. Each one was more drunk than the next.
“It was really cool to watch,” I said happily.
Jimmy tossed an arm over my shoulder, steadying himself with my body. I tried not to be annoyed, but something about being the only sober one in a group is enough to make you crazy. I was working, so I had an excuse to leave, thankfully.
“Look how pretty you are,” he smiled at me. “How’d I get so lucky?”
“Good genes,” I teased, pushing his weight off of me.
Brian stumbled over to me. All the boys were in fine form that night—they’d only been in my bar for a little over an hour and they were all absolutely smashed. It was almost impressive.
“What’re your in-in-intentions with my Jimmy?” Brian managed, pointing his finger in my face.
“To marry him, divorce him, and take him for all he’s worth,” I said seriously, swatting Brian’s hand away.
Jimmy cheered, “Divorce!”
“Don’t you dare,” Brian warned me, a little hiccup between his words. “Or I’ll have to run you over.”
“Okay, Brian,” I laughed.
“Is it your break yet?” Jimmy whined, rubbing his face against my arm.
I wondered a little how high he was.
And on what.
I’d been keeping a close eye on him since he’d walked in. I knew Jimmy well enough that I could spot intoxication a mile away—he made it easy. He was a vastly different person when he was strung out.
“Yeah, is it your break yet?” Zacky echoed.
Johnny pouted, “Come hang out with us.”
“She’s too good to hang out with us,” Brian croaked.
I raised my eyebrows, “I can assure you that isn’t true.”
“Sure it isn’t,” Brian continued, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Little miss lawyer is too high up on her pedestal to drink with us.”
“What’s your problem?” I asked confusedly. “You were fine with me two minutes ago.”
“Ignore his moods,” Matt told me with a smile. “He’ll forget why he’s pissed in a second.”
“Fuck you,” Brian stammered. “My problem is that Jimmy wants you to hang with us and you think you’re too good.”
I shook my head, tucking my tray under my arm, “You’re really drunk and not making any sense, Brian. I’m going back to work now.”
As I walked away, he muttered something about me being a bitch. I was a little annoyed that Jimmy didn’t defend me—but Jimmy hardly seemed to have even noticed Brian’s little outburst. Jimmy was bounding from bandmate to bandmate, terrorizing them appropriately.
I kept watch on Jimmy as they continued to drink—the bartender in me knew that I needed to cut them off…but the Jimmy’s girlfriend part of me didn’t want to be a killjoy. So, I watered their drinks down heavily and eventually stopped pouring any alcohol into them at all.
As I walked over their newest round of water and cokes, Zacky was messing around with the jukebox.
“There’s nothing good on here!” he called back to the group.
I rolled my eyes, setting the tray down and positioning myself next to Zacky.
“Sure there is,” I insisted. “You like metal, right?”
He nodded, “Obviously.”
“What about this one?” I asked as I plunked in my choice.
He winced as the song started—he turned back to the group disappointedly.
They chorused in whines.
“What?” I laughed uncomfortably. “Bad choice?”
I turned around and made a couple of alternate selections. My musical interests were fairly limited and I didn’t know the first thing about picking songs for musicians. My first attempt had not gone well.
“Haven’t you taught her about good music yet?” Johnny teased his mammoth friend.
Jimmy shrugged, “I’ve tried! She’s hopeless!”
They were loud enough that sounds of their conversation pretty well covered up my song choice anyway. Matt was winning at pool, which was only making Brian more grumpy. He’d been in a foul mood all day and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
“Your girlfriend is lame,” Brian said loudly, missing yet another shot.
Jimmy grinned, pulling me into his long arms, “I kinda like her.”
“Anyone that tolerates your bullshit is a keeper,” Matt grinned.
“Here, here!” Jimmy shouted.
I was thankful that there was no other customers in the bar that night. They’d all emptied out just after nine—only Avenged remained. And only Avenged would get this rip-roaring on a Wednesday.
A new song cut through the group’s disruptive tone. They all paused to take a listen and pass a judgement.
“Brian, it’s your girlfriend,” Johnny teased excitedly.
Brian grumbled, “Shut up.”
“Who’s this?” I asked Jimmy, who was resting his chin on the top of my head.
I caused his face to fall a little when I moved my neck to look at him.
He smirked, “This is Brian’s favorite band.”
Brian shook his head, sinking a ball without any expression.
“Who is it?” I asked impatiently.
Matt smiled, “They’re a new band called Haven. Brian’s got a big crush on their lead singer.”
“Have you seen her?” Brian asked, his eyelids flickering as he struggled to stay conscious. “You’re telling me that you wouldn’t bend that bitch over a railing?”
“Graphic,” I sighed.
Matt laughed, “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, no.”
“She’s hot,” Brian said with a nod. “But I don’t date musicians.”
This confused me.
“What? Why not?”
They all laughed—including Jimmy.
I didn’t get it.
“They’re nothing but trouble,” he smirked.
I looked up at Jimmy again, “Are you nothing but trouble?”
He smiled softly, looking a little bashful, “Sometimes.”
I scrunched my nose at him, “I like your kind of trouble.”
“I’m glad someone does,” he snickered. “They’re sick of me.”
“It’s true,” Zacky nodded.
Jimmy lowered himself into the creak of my neck, his breathing sent chills down my spine.
“Are you coming over after work?” he asked me lowly.
I just nodded.
“Good,” he said into my shoulder, planting soft kisses on my skin.
“Get a room, you two!” Johnny groaned loudly.
Jimmy shot up, laughing, “Hey! Just because you can’t get a girlfriend—”
“Sure I can!” he gasped. “But the second she meets you guys, you scare her off! Every time!”
“Whatever,” Brian grumbled, falling off of his feet and into a chair.
He cleared an entire table with his ever-gracious flee from gravity. I sighed loudly, moving out of Jimmy’s arms to go and grab a mop.
“Sorry, Aria,” Brian pouted as I swept up glass from around his feet.
“You’re not driving tonight, are you?” I asked him knowingly.
He shrugged at me.
“I’ll drive you home,” I told him. “You’ll just have to hang out until I’m off work.”
Brian looked at Jimmy with wide eyes, “Your girlfriend’s hitting on me.”
I scoffed, “Yeah, right.”
“Just pretend she’s Blair Peterson,” Matt grinned.
“Don’t you dare!” Jimmy shrieked, running over and putting himself in Brian’s lap to keep him seated. “Hands off.”
“Your ass is touching my dick,” Brian groaned.
Jimmy smirked, “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”
“You’re bony as fuck,” Brian snickered.
I left the boys to their weird display and returned to the bar to start my cleanup. I figured with how dead it was, I could probably get away with closing early.
Matt, Johnny and Zacky split a cab, which left Brian and Jimmy in my care. Within twenty minutes of sitting at my bar, Brian was fast asleep on the counter. Jimmy was busy stacking things on the back of his friend’s neck.
“What’s with him?” I asked Jimmy quietly. “He’s been kind of a dick today.”
“He’s a dick every day,” Jimmy laughed. “That’s just Brian.”
“Not like this,” I argued lightly.
He shrugged, “Brian just gets like this sometimes. Don’t take it personally or anything.”
I conceded, “If you say so.”
“Hey, you didn’t mean it when you said your plan was to marry me was it?”
My eyebrows fell and my heart started to race, “What?”
“You said—never mind,” he smirked. “I just…don’t really believe in marriage.”
“Is now the time to talk about this?” I asked, trying to sound light and uninterested even though this was rocking my whole world.
It wasn’t like I wanted to marry him at that exact moment…but I liked to believe that our relationship would eventually lead somewhere. I’d imagined that we’d fall in love and eventually I’d be offered his last name.
It sort of irked me to know that it would never be an option…
You never really want something until you know you can’t have it.
He shrugged, “I don’t know…Just thought I should mention it.”
“No big deal,” I lied, finding a reason to excuse myself into the back. “I don’t know that I want to ever get married.”
He nodded, “Cool.”
The second I was behind the swinging door, I took a couple of deep breaths and willed my hurt away. It wasn’t working.
I kept it bottled up from the time I returned to Jimmy’s side, to the second that I closed up shop, passed dropping Brian off at home and waiting for Jimmy to get him inside, and all the way until we were tucked away in Jimmy’s house.
“Can we get high?” I asked impulsively.
I’d been doing well with not participating in Jimmy’s extracurricular activities but I couldn’t handle what he’d said. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I needed to stop thinking about it.
Jimmy grinned, “I’ll never say no to you.”
But hadn’t he? Hadn’t he?
I was losing grip of what I wanted for my life—nothing was where it was supposed to be. Nothing was in order. Nothing was what I’d pictured it to be.
As the cocaine coursed through my veins, I prayed to whatever god that the high might last forever and take my worries away.
Maybe it didn’t last forever, but it was a temporary solution to an otherwise permanent problem. My eyes found Jimmy, who was spread out on the floor like some long-formed starfish. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling fan as it spun in slow circles.
I told myself it was fine that Jimmy wouldn’t marry me; he wasn’t exactly the boy I pictured myself marrying anyway…
But if that were true, then what was I doing with him at all?
He caught me staring and gave me a little smile—his blue eyes twinkling with delight.
Besides living my life blind, what the fuck was I doing?

Notes

Heh heh.

Comments

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RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@kiss my sas
I'm sorry!!!! Didn't mean to kick you while you're down, I swear!!

fyction fyction
5/14/19

I'm so proud of you for finishing this masterpiece, but I am SO SAD!!!
WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN AND UPSETTING THE SICK AUSSIE?!??!?!
WHAT IS LIFE??!???!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

IT IS NOT OVER!!!
I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT IS OVER!!!!!!
PLAGUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

Holy shit, holy shit, I am not prepared!!!!
Going to read the... last... chapter now...

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19