Just Before You Go

A new year meant Jimmy was moving straight into the recording of his band’s next album. The year change didn’t mean much for me, I was still doing the same old thing. Jimmy was pretty well unavailable to me once they’d started recording. He was absent and distracted even when we were together.
I knew I’d have to get used to it if I wanted to build a life with this person, but that didn’t make it any easier.
It had been three days since I’d seen him—or really spoken to him at all. I was busying myself on my laptop, looking at commercial rental spaces out of sheer curiosity.
And maybe a little bit of deep-seeded manipulation.
Jenny was adamant that my lack of legal job findings was a sign that I’d put myself on the wrong path. Jimmy was in agreement. I still couldn’t quite get behind it—but I hadn’t received a single callback out of the dozens of resumes I’d handed out.
I also had not spoken to my parents since Christmas. It had been exactly a month to the day.
Easily the longest I’d ever gone without hearing my mother’s voice.
I closed the browser window and leaned back in my chair, as if somehow I could decide the future of my life if I just thought about it hard enough.
A knock at the door distracted me.
“Hey!” a wild Jimmy greeted me enthusiastically.
I smiled against my will, “What’re you doing—”
“Get your stuff,” he told me excitedly. “Let’s go.”
“Where?”
“Aria,” he groaned with a smirk. “Get your shit.”
I’d learned by this point that there was very little to be done to appease Jimmy without just going along with whatever new plot he’d mustered up. The more you rejected his ideas, the harder he’d work to persuade you. It was honestly just so much easier not to ask questions.
So, I didn’t.
We were driving in silence when he finally found it necessary to explain, “We’re recording a song today. I thought you might want to watch.”
I tilted my head at him, “Why?”
He snapped his neck to look at me, “Did you not want to come?”
“No,” I laughed. “I mean yes…” I sighed. “I want to come. I’m just confused why—why now?”
“Because,” he smiled toothily.
I loved his fucking smile.
“Does it please you to be endlessly vague?” I whined.
He nodded enthusiastically, “Gets me off every time.”
Eventually we rolled up to, what I assumed was, the studio. I picked Brian’s car out of the lot right away—he was the only one I really had any contact with outside of Jimmy. They were all nice enough, but none had really made any venture to be a part of my individual life.
I hadn’t made the effort either, in all fairness.
Brian tried constantly, though—which was a far cry from where he and I started out. He’d ditched his girlfriend and replaced her with a new girl—but she was gone within a week. I decided to stop keeping track of them.
Jimmy held the building’s door open for me, giving me a little wink and an ass slap on my way by.
“Where did you go?” Zacky griped the second he caught sight of the gigantic drummer.
Jimmy made for a karate chop in response, Zacky just shook his head.
“Hi,” I said sheepishly, assuming he hadn’t noticed me lingering around.
Zacky grinned from ear to ear, “Oh. That’s where you went.”
“The lady greeted you,” Jimmy scolded his friend dramatically. “Don’t neglect her. Or you’ll have my fists to face.”
“You’re so scary,” Zacky groaned. “Hi, Aria.”
I was way passed uncomfortable.
“Come to watch us suck?” he smirked.
I nodded.
“Watch out for Syn,” he said to both of us. “He’s in a special kind of mood today.”
Jimmy just laughed.
“See you in there,” Zacky waved before disappearing through a door.
“Okay!” Jimmy shouted, running back to me and grabbing me by the arms. “Are you ready?”
“Sure,” I shrugged.
“No, no, no,” Jimmy whined. “With feeling!”
I hesitated, “Sure.”
“Okay, this is pathetic,” he cackled. “We’ll have to practice this later.”
He slid one hand from my arm to my hand and dragged me into the room Zacky had just disappeared into. Brian was on his way out, brushing passed us with a grunt. Jimmy didn’t seem to notice.
“Hey!” Matt shouted when he saw us. “Bout fucking time you rolled in.”
“I errands to run,” Jimmy smirked.
“I see that,” Matt laughed. “What’s up, Aria? How’s it going?”
“Fine,” was all I could come up with.
Way passed uncomfortable.
“Ready?” Jimmy asked me happily, planting a quick kiss on my cheek before disappearing behind his drum kit.
It was fucking mammoth sized. I didn’t know much about instruments, but I knew that his kit was extensive. It was intimidating to say the least.
“Ready,” the man behind the switchboard said without looking.
Jimmy slid a pair of headphones over his ears, took a breath, and got to work. He gave his kit a couple practice hits and then paused.
I’d never seen Jimmy play. He looked almost like someone else—I’d never seen that level of concentration on his face. He made it look like it was effortless.
I was in awe.
“Sick, huh?” Matt grinned at me, bobbing his head along with Jimmy’s beat.
He looked up at us only once, and an unmistakable little grin spread across his beautiful face. I could hardly contain my heart as it tried to leap from my chest.
I was speechless. I had no thoughts. All I had was incredible amounts of jealousy and wonder. He was beyond talented, that much was clear. I felt a little robbed of it—having never heard him play live until now.
It was something to see—a visual I didn’t think I’d ever be able to wash from my mind.
Once he was finished, he skulked back over to us and it was if no one had been watching what I had…It didn’t seem to be a big deal.
“That was kick ass,” was all that was said about it.
I was still absolutely floored.
Jimmy approached me, “What’d you think?”
My brain was not cooperating. I shook my head.
“Bad?” he asked, his face falling. “I know you have ridiculous taste in music, but—”
I laughed, “Not bad.”
“Good?” he suggested.
I nodded vigorously, “I’ve never heard anything like that.”
He smiled proudly, “Did you recognize it?”
I furrowed my brows at him, “Should I have?”
He shrugged, turning to the others, “We’re taking five.”
Then he pushed me back through the door and into the hall.
“My taste in music is not ridiculous, by the way,” I chuckled quietly.
“It is,” he decided aloud.
“So, what song was that?” I asked curiously—I couldn’t place it.
He smiled at me, “It’s your song.”
“My song?” I repeated confusedly. “When did I write a song?”
“You, no shit,” he laughed. “It’s the song I wrote for you. Ya know, Almost Easy?”
I hesitated, “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“I just didn’t know you’d be recording it,” I said awkwardly.
He narrowed his eyes, “Is it a problem?”
“No,” I said quickly, even though the idea wasn’t exactly thrilling.
The song took me back to a time, not so long ago, when Jimmy was less than stellar. It brought back visuals of him lying in that hospital bed…of him snorting some sort of substance off of the bathroom vanity in secret. The idea of the world listening to what had gone on between us made me a little queasy.
But he’d written it—and it was a really good song. Who was I to make a fuss about it?
“I’m just surprised is all,” I offered lamely.
“Good,” he decided happily.
Like everything else in our life together, I put my feelings on the backburner to appease Jimmy. I wondered if eventually that would bubble itself up into some sort of resentment.
But he kissed me and I forgot all about it.

Notes

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