Just Before You Go

My week was boring. Working in an office was mentally exhausting; not because the work was necessarily difficult but because it was monotonous. I’d been drafting and filing the same paperwork for months. I was longing for a challenge; I needed something more.
But I told myself that I needed the money. I need the connections. I absolutely needed the experience. So, I’d just have to stick it out and hope that it would grow to be more interesting in time. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was overqualified for the position. I was always looking for new jobs but so far, nothing.
Friday rolled around and I was glad to be done with the office for another few days. My parents had invited me for dinner and I was eager to attend. I hadn’t eaten a home-cooked meal in what felt like an eternity. There was little money left in my budget by time I’d paid my rent and my bills. Food was bare minimum—usually pasta or instant noodles. You eat what you can afford.
“How’s work?” my mother asked pleasantly as I sunk into a plate of spaghetti and homemade meatballs.
I chewed furiously, trying to answer her quickly, “It’s fine.”
“Still haven’t found a job in your field?” my father asked, twirling the spaghetti onto his fork.
“I am in my field,” I answered oddly. “I’m just not a lawyer…”
“Waste of your intellect,” he told me with a smile.
“I’m happy enough,” I said in my best attempt to sound convincing.
My mother replied, “That’s all the matters. Right, Phil?”
He nodded.
My mother had found work right away. She was teaching history at a local high school. She genuinely loved her job and I couldn’t help but envy her. To be fair, I did enjoy my job at the bar. I liked to talk to people and to feel busy. My office life didn’t offer that same kind of rush. But I really didn’t want to wait on tables for the rest of my life. I was hopeful that acting as a lawyer would satisfy me. After all of the student loans and all of the work I’d invested, it better satisfy me.
“How’s the hospital, Dad?” I asked politely.
He rocked his head from side to side, “It’s alright. Very busy. Much busier than back home.”
“Busy is good, no?” I hesitated with a laugh, “I mean…obviously not for the people you’re treating. But being busy helps to pass the time, right?”
“I suppose,” he concluded.
We’d spent the rest of dinner making pleasant chit-chat. I’d complimented my mother on the new décor she’s installed in their gigantic beach-side home, she’d told me all about where she’d found each piece. It occurred to me then that I may be boring.
“What do you think of me getting a tattoo?” I asked aloud as I finished my tiny slice of pecan cheesecake.
My father nearly had a heart attack.
“A tattoo?” my mother asked in horror. “Why on earth would you do that?”
I averted my gaze down to the Cherrywood table, “I don’t know…”
“You’re twenty-five, Aria,” my father told me. “You’re a little old to be getting tattoos.”
“I don’t know that that’s accurate,” I laughed.
He was serious.
My mother stared at me like I’d just confessed I was thinking of drowning the family cat.
“It was just an idea,” I explained. “Forget I mentioned it.”
“Don’t mark your body,” my father instructed me. “Leave it the way it is.”
“You’re beautiful the way you are,” my mother smiled. “That’s all we mean.”
“Tattoos can be beautiful,” I suggested.
My mind wandered back to a few nights before, all of the men covered in pictures. I’d admired how absent they were of the way their bodies looked. I was in awe of the colours and the detail. My stranger with the blue eyes was covered in them too…he was beautiful.
“No they can’t,” my father struck me down.
I suffocated a laugh, eager not to further disturb them with my impulses. We moved away from conversations about changing my body and onto talk about my brother and his work. Apparently he’d started some sort of romance with a nurse and had been talking nonstop about her.
I made a mental note to call and check in with him more often; I had no idea he’d gotten himself a girlfriend.
“Maybe he’ll bring her home for Christmas,” I thought aloud.
It was only six weeks away and my family was dying for the season. My mother had already hung her lights and brought out the boxes of decorations. She loved to decorate.
“Wouldn’t that be lovely!” my mother gushed.
My father smirked, “Maybe we’ll actually see some grandchildren before we die, Cass.”
I widened my eyes, “Not from me, you won’t.”
My mother laughed, shaking her head, “You’ll change your mind. You just haven’t met the right man yet!”
She paused.
“Speaking of which…”
“No,” I said flatly.
She sighed, “Won’t you ever find a man? I only have one daughter, you know. I’d like to be the mother of the bride in my life.”
“Keep dreaming, Cassandra,” I teased.
“Find yourself a doctor,” my father told me. “Someone who is financially responsible and intelligent. I need to know you’ll be taken care of.”
“I can take care of myself,” I assured him. “I don’t need a man.”
“She’s a strong, independent woman, Phil!” my mother teased, giggling like an idiot.
After that conversation had dulled my spirits, I left my parents and returned to my empty house. The quiet had never bothered me before but tonight it was getting to me. I thought about watching a movie and fattening myself up with ice cream but I was full from dinner and too antsy to settle into a plot.
Instead, I gathered my things once again and headed out into the night.
Jenny was working the Friday shift and she was busy. She looked like an octopus slinging drinks to the anxious customers scattered all around the bar. Derek was acting as the second bartender that night and was out on the floor, delivering trays upon trays of drinks.
I made my way to the bar and managed to steal the only unoccupied bar stool. Jenny flashed me a smile as she continued down the line of thirsty patrons. Finally, the crowd had dissipated enough that I could see her body start to relax.
Derek appeared around the back of the counter and looked surprised to see me.
“Come to take over for me?” he asked teasingly.
I shook my head, “Absolutely not.”
“Well then, what are you drinking?”
“Whiskey and coke,” I ordered simply.
“I got it!” Jenny called to him.
He shrugged and moved down to the other end of the bar. Jen slid my drink to me before I’d even seen her make it. She collapsed onto her elbows with a sigh. She smiled up at me.
“It’s been nuts in here all night,” she told me tiredly.
I surveyed the room, “I can see that.”
And then I spotted them. Off in the corner, the group of tattooed men were hanging off of each other. I was thrilled to see the tall one.
But I shut that down.
“Hey,” I said quietly, like they could hear me from across the room. “What’s their deal?”
Jenny squinted, “Who?”
“Them,” I gestured to the group with my head.
“Oh,” Jenny smiled. “That’s Avenged Sevenfold.”
My eyebrows furrowed themselves, “Like…the band?”
“Yes,” she giggled. “They’re regulars.”
“Huh,” I scoffed. “Interesting.”
“Didn’t know you were a fan,” she teased.
I shrugged, “I’m not.”
“Then why are you asking about them?” she grilled.
“They came in on Wednesday when I was here,” I explained lamely, catching myself staring at the blue-eyed one and forcing myself to stop. “They were…entertaining.”
“Did Brian hit on you?” she asked me, unimpressed. “I swear to god…”
“No,” I laughed. “I mean yes…but it was harmless.”
“He’s shameless,” she groaned, shaking her head. “Don’t get swayed by his charm, Aria. I’m speaking from experience here.”
“I’m not,” I said quickly. “Wait…you hooked up with that guy?”
“Twice,” she said flatly, holding up two fingers. “Never again.”
I smirked, “That bad?”
“Not at all,” she frowned. “He’s just a dick.”
“You wanted a boyfriend,” I started piecing it together aloud.
She shrugged, “He wanted a piece of ass. Guess it wasn’t meant to be. He is beautiful though.”
I agreed because, well, who wouldn’t. I wasn’t blind. But I also wasn’t stupid and had picked that vibe off of him the second I laid eyes on him. My interest seemed to find its way back to the blue eyed creature time and time again. I thought about confessing this attraction to Jenny, weighing her opinion but decided it was a harmless crush. Not even a crush. I didn’t know what it was.
“Aria!” a man’s voice startled me.
It was my boss. He was, maybe, the world’s nicest guy. I’d never had an experience where I genuinely liked my boss—especially in this industry. But he was an anomaly and I was glad.
“Did you come to work an extra shift?” he smiled.
“Like I told Derek, absolutely not.”
“Spending your paycheck then?” he asked playfully. “Happy to see you recycling our money.”
“Anything I can do to help,” I retorted.
“Give her a round,” he told Jenny. “On me.”
She nodded and poured another. I slid my empty glass to her in exchange for the full one.
“He likes you,” she told me.
“I know,” I smiled. “It’s because I always—”
“No, not Mark,” she stopped me impatiently. “The Rev.”
My face was blank, “Who?”
“Him!” she giggled before the tall one appeared next to me.
He squished himself between my stool and the man sitting next to me. The man groaned but the Rev didn’t seem to notice. Surely that name wasn’t going to squash my “crush”. I needed a real name.
But the monkey with the cymbals was back.
“Hey, Jen,” he said, “can I get—”
His eyes met me but I refused to look up at him. He stared for so long, though, that eventually I had to meet his gaze.
Monkey sped into turbo mode.
“Hey!” he shrieked.
I shrunk into myself, “Hi.”
“She’s good,” the Rev told Jenny, who was grinning like an idiot. “But not as good as you.”
“I’m sure,” Jenny giggled.
“She took such good care of us the other night,” he smirked. “Brian was sure he was going to bed her. Smart girl ran the other way.”
“I’m sitting right here,” I said flatly.
Jenny patted my hand, “We know.”
She disappeared for a second to fetch the Rev’s drink—judging by the amount of swaying he was doing, I was sure he’d ordered more than one that night. Didn’t even have to ask anymore.
“Just hanging out?” he asked me. “Or are you working tonight?”
“Hanging out,” I answered.
He smiled and I nearly died.
“Did you want to come play pool?” he asked bravely. “I promise I’ll keep Brian away.”
It seemed like a good offer. But I knew what would happen. I’d agree, I’d play pool, I’d flirt…then I’d give my “crush” a chance to flourish. I didn’t want to have a crush on anyone. I didn’t want to entertain the idea of one at all. I had to restrain myself.
His eyes were so tempting though.
“Not now,” I tried to smile. “Maybe later.”
“Don’t hit on my staff,” Jenny warned the Rev playfully as she returned. “We’ve already lost four this year because of you guys.”
“Hey, don’t bring me into it,” the Rev chuckled. “You take that up with Brian.”
“Oh, I will,” she said seriously. “You tell Brian that if I catch him so much as looking at Aria the wrong way, I will come over there and I will shove that pool stick up his ass.”
The Rev grinned widely, “Happily.”
He nodded to me in acknowledgement of his departure. I think I’d embarrassed him and I was kicking myself for it.
I watched as he hurried back to his friends and immediately grabbed a stick. He was talking to Brian and making wild visuals with the pool stick, cackling all the while. Brian shook his head and flipped Jen the bird. She pretended to catch it, effectively stuffing it into her pocket.
“Anyway,” she sighed, returning back to me.
I turned around to face her again, taking a sip of my drink.
“What did you mean, he likes me?” I asked curiously, pretending not to be super interested.
She shrugged, “First thing he did tonight was ask me your name. Usually his first move is a shot…but tonight it was, what’s that girl’s name? The one that covered you when you were dead. It’s nice to have you back by the way. I’m glad you’re not a corpse.”
I hesitated, unsure of what to make of what she’d said. She’d even thrown in a little lisp for dramatic effect. It was pretty spot on—but the Rev’s voice was unique and she simply couldn’t hack it completely. I applauded her attempt.
“Did you tell him I died?” she giggled.
I shook my head, “He deduced that on his own.”
“Of course he did,” she smiled. “He’s wild, that one. But as sweet as can be.”
I turned around to look at him again…I couldn’t help it. This time he caught me, giving me a little wave. I was humiliated.
His group began to file out, pulling jackets over their inked arms. Brian had a cigarette hanging from his lips. For a second I was worried they were leaving.
Why do you care? Stop it.
But Jimmy stayed behind, fiddling with the pool balls.
“Go,” Jenny said to me.
I turned back to her, “Go where?”
She smirked, “You know where. Go talk to him. You’ve been turned around staring since you got here; give your neck a rest and go talk to him.”
“Why?”
She gave me a look that told me she knew why. I was reluctant.
“Here,” she grabbed another beer from the fridge and handed it to me. “Tell him it’s on the house from his favourite corpse.”
I sighed but I found myself moving. My feet were carrying me further from the bar and closer to the blue-eyed creature that had me so edgy. My hands were shaking. I was an embarrassment to myself.
“Hey,” it came out as a squeak. I cleared my throat, “from Jenny.”
I held the beer out to him which he happily took. He looked awkward with me now—it was a huge shift from only moments before. I’d definitely embarrassed him.
“So…” I tried to save myself. “Is your offer still good?”
His face lit up, “Of course.”
He handed me a pool cue and immediately went to put money into the slot.
“Wait,” I told him abruptly before disappearing back to the bar.
Jenny looked at me weirdly.
“Keys,” I said simply.
She tossed the keyring to me and I darted back to the table. With a quick turn, I pushed the table open and forced the balls to release. Innuendo.
I locked the table again and shoved the keys into my front pocket. The Rev was staring at me with wild adoration.
“Free pool?” he choked. “Are you an angel?”
“Yes,” I blushed. “And my only gift to the world is one free game of pool.”
“Hallelujah,” the Rev smirked.
“You break,” I told him and he did.
He immediately sunk two solids. I knew I was going to be defeated and it wouldn’t take long at all. I was an awful shot and was fairly certain that I needed glasses. It definitely made for a challenge.
“Aria, right?” he asked me, closing one eye to line up a shot.
“Yep.”
“Pretty,” he said and then sent the white ball flying into another solid.
“And you’re…the Rev?” I asked awkwardly.
He looked at me and then back to the table as I started to survey my options.
“Depends who you ask,” he shrugged.
“I’m asking you,” I smiled, giving him a quick glance before hitting the cue ball but missing everything else.
“You’re good at this,” he teased.
I watched as he sunk another ball.
“It’s Jimmy,” he said as he moved onto another shot.
So I had heard his friend right. Jimmy. He didn’t look like a Jimmy to me.
“James?” I asked curiously, happy to see him miss the ball.
He nodded, “Only when I’m in trouble. Which is often.”
I believed him. The little metal piercing that bounced when he spoke was a pretty good indicator for me. In my circle of friends, the only piercings I’d ever seen were in ears. Though, one time Madison had pierced her nose on a whim—the second she saw it in the mirror, though, she lost her bloody mind.
“Get it out!” she’s shrieked, flailing her hands around and bawling her eyes out.
It was hilarious, even four years later.
I missed again.
Jimmy chuckled at my failure.
“So you’re in a band,” I said.
He nodded, knocking two balls into the pockets. He was running out of available solids—which meant my defeat was imminent.
“What do you play?” I asked curiously.
I’d heard of them. They were pretty famous locally which made it pretty difficult to not hear about them. That said, I’d had no idea who they were or what they looked like.
“Drums,” he answered simply, watching me as I lined up my shot.
It fucking went in.
I threw my hands over my head and was overjoyed to find Jimmy was doing the same. A loud “yeah!” ripped through his throat as he marched over to me and swept me up into his arms, doing one full circle before putting me back down onto my feet.
“You fucking sunk one!” he laughed.
“I’m obviously the best at pool,” I bragged.
I tried to repeat my victorious move but my hands were shaking from the interaction. And how much I’d enjoyed it.
I missed.
Jimmy beat me within minutes. He’d earned the right to boast—which he was doing. Loudly.
“Who’s your friend?” a raspy voice cut through our giggles.
I straightened up, immediately uncomfortable as a band of hyenas surrounded us.
“This is Aria,” Jimmy said simply. “She’s the new bartender.”
“Oh,” the dimpled one grinned. “This is Aria.”
“What am I, famous?” I joked.
They all nodded. I wasn’t sure what it meant.
“Well,” I said awkwardly, turning back to Jimmy. “Thanks for reminding me why I don’t play pool. Let’s not do it again some time.”
And then I fucking high-tailed it back to the bar. Jenny was shaking her head at me, smiling all the while.
“Is he your boyfriend?” she giggled before disappearing to appease another customer.
I hid out there for another hour, intentionally not looking back even once. I’d gotten a name to put to the eyes but now I was in trouble.
“Hey,” Jimmy’s voice startled me.
“Hi,” I smiled.
“We’re taking off,” he said, I looked passed them to see the group moving through the exit. “I was just wondering if you weren’t busy…”
He stopped for a second, looking to the door and then back to me.
“We’re headed to a party. Did you want to come?”
My brain monkey was doing its thing. I stared at him like an idiot. Those eyes, man.
“Aria?” he asked, irritated but smiling anyway.
I snapped out of it.
“Sorry,” I frowned. “Not tonight.”
“No problem,” he faltered. “Another time maybe.”
“Maybe.”
“See ya later, Jenny!” he shouted to my friend before he ducked away.
I wasn’t feeling so great about myself.
“What’s wrong with you?” Jenny scolded me quietly. “Why didn’t you go?”
“Didn’t want to,” I lied.
“He’s cute!” she told me. “He’s the nicest guy ever! Why wouldn’t you go?”
“I don’t want a boyfriend.”
“He didn’t ask you to be his girlfriend, Aria,” she laughed. “This isn’t the 1950s.”
“I don’t want a one night stand either,” I shrugged.
She rolled her eyes, “You’re so weird.”
I was equipped to handle a little crush. A crush was something I could keep to myself, torturing myself with it occasionally. But if I’d gone and I’d had a good time…
Or worse, if I’d gone and had a bad time…
He was not the man for me. He couldn’t be. So, what was the point in pretending otherwise?
I went home to my empty house and put myself to bed to drown out the regret.

Notes

Prepare yourself for imminent updates. If you don't believe me, just ask the Almost Easy readers. ;)

Comments are always appreciated. I hope you're falling in love with these characters as much as I am.

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