Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Just Before You Go

Chapter Nineteen: You Know Why

“Are you bringing Jimmy to the party?” my brother asked curiously.
I fixated the phone between my ear and my shoulder as I bent down to paint my last toenail red, “No way.”
“Why not?” Luke sounded surprised. “Grace is coming.”
I hesitated, “You know why.”
“I don’t,” he laughed. “You afraid Mom and Dad will scare him off?”
“Something like that,” I grumbled, closing the lid to my polish and sliding it back into the cabinet.
“Well, we land in the afternoon on the 22nd,” Luke told me, decidedly changing the subject back to him. “Any chance you could book the night off so we can have a chance to catch up? Maybe even hang out?”
I smiled, “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Still just working the one job?” he asked.
“Yep.”
“Oh, hold on, Aria,” he grumbled, then muffled the phone so I couldn’t hear.
I’d very briefly considered inviting Jimmy to my parent’s Christmas party. I really liked the idea of him being with me around the holidays…but I knew my parents’ reaction would be dire. I knew they’d chastise him and would spend the rest of their lives hellbent on tearing us apart. I could only imagine what they’d say if they knew everything that had happened…
Jimmy just wasn’t the man to bring home. I shouldn’t say he wasn’t…He couldn’t be.
For the sake of our relationship, he couldn’t be.
“I have to let you go,” Luke rushed. “Someone with a screwdriver through their retina just came in. I’ll give you a shout this weekend, okay?”
“Go have fun with your weird, weird job,” I laughed and flipped my phone shut.
The very idea of a man with a screwdriver in his face made me want to faint.
To keep myself from doing so, I grabbed my things and went to work.

My shift was as long as it was ass-numbingly dull. People had been particularly rude and had me in a bit of a mood. All I wanted to do was to go home and go straight to bed…which seemed reasonable at two-thirty in the morning.
I paid my cab driver and pushed myself out of his car.
There was a Jimmy waiting for me on my stoop.
“Hey,” he smiled at me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked confusedly. “Did we have plans? Did I forget?”
“No,” he grinned. “I wanted to see you.”
“At two-thirty in the morning?” I asked flatly. “On a Monday?”
“Can we go somewhere?” he asked me, fidgeting with his fingers.
I furrowed my brows, “Jimmy, I just got off work. It’s late—”
“Please?” he said in a way that I thought something might be wrong.
He looked…different.
“Where do you want to go?” I quizzed him slowly.
I didn’t really want to go anywhere—but Jimmy showing up unannounced at such a time, with such a request, was not exactly normal.
He just smiled.
“You’re so weird,” I groaned. “Give me a minute.”
I let myself into my house and chucked my belongings into a pile on the floor. As I pulled a sweater over my chilled shoulders, I was back outside.
“Where are we going?” I asked as I locked my house back up.
He shrugged, “I’d like to watch the waves.”
So, we set off for the beach. I didn’t make a routine of strolling through Huntington at ridiculous hours of the night…so, I was surprised at how quiet the city could be. I’d only ever known it to be busy and hectic. It was almost serene in its sleep.
“Is everything okay?” I asked Jimmy because I felt like I had to.
He was walking with his hands in his pockets. No eccentricities in sight.
“Do you want the truth?” he asked me, giving me a suspicious side-eyed look.
I nodded.
Last time I’d asked for the truth, he’d lied to me. Now he was offering the truth and, while I’d said I was ready for it, I really wasn’t sure I was. I didn’t want anything else to come up to spoil my view of this man—I really liked him. I liked his company. I was tired of things getting in the way of that.
I was tired of being confused.
“I’m trying not to get high,” he told me matter-of-factly. “Because I told you that I’d stop.”
I opened my mouth to argue, “Jimmy, you don’t have to—”
“Because I need to stop,” he added more firmly. “But it’s…it’s hard. It’s, um…” he tapped at the side of his head, “it’s a scary place up here.”
I smiled sympathetically.
“It’s hard when I’m alone,” he finished with a shrug. “So…thanks for coming out.”
At first, I just sort of nodded. I wasn’t really sure what to say. But as we continued to walk and the silence festered into discomfort, I knew that Jimmy deserved to hear what was on my mind.
“Jimmy,” I mused aloud. “I don’t want you to throw your life into disorder for me.”
He looked at me with utter confusion.
I grabbed his arm, so he’d have to stop walking. He turned himself to face me—I strategically left my hand on his forearm. Anything I could do to touch the guy…
“While I agree with you, that you need to stop using drugs,” I started slowly, trying to connect my thoughts before verbalizing them. “I need you to understand something. I am, in no way, giving you an ultimatum here. This isn’t a choose me or choose the addiction kind of thing…I don’t want you to feel like I’m making you stop—it’s your life. You can do what you want.”
He just stared at me.
“I care about you,” I continued. “And I want you to be healthy…and happy. But I also fear you’ll resent me later if you do this for me. You have to do this for you or don’t do it at all. Please don’t use me as a reason—I’m not interested in being a martyr.”
He took a second to take in what I was saying—not that I totally understood what I was saying. There was something about Jimmy that shook my very core of beliefs. No way would I have tolerated even a portion of the shit Jimmy had done from anyone else. I don’t know what it was about him…but one look at him, and any ounce of hurt I’d ever felt was erased. He had a soothing appeal for me.
“I do want to stop…” he said lowly. “If I can’t…Will you….”
“Leave?” I suggested.
He looked away from me, “Yeah.”
I sighed, “I don’t know…I mean—no.”
He looked back up at me as my brain went into overdrive.
“Don’t you take that as permission,” I half-laughed. “But I just don’t see how I could leave…Not yet.”
“You don’t think it’s wise to get off of the ship before the tidal wave comes?” he asked me seriously.
I just looked at him…It was almost like he knew something I didn’t. But I assumed that would be the entirety of our relationship—Jimmy was hyperintelligent. He seemed to always know everything. I thought I was supposed to be the smart one.
“I’m here now,” I said finally. “Isn’t that enough?”
He smirked a little, nodding his head. We walked to the beach in silence, Jimmy assumedly taking in what I’d said, and I was taking in Jimmy.
Once we made it to the waves, I collapsed into the sand. Jimmy went ahead and pushed his way into the water. He stood there in the moonlight for a while, unmoving and unspeaking. I knew right away that he was struggling—I’d never known an addiction, I couldn’t imagine what it was like.
Eventually he joined me, laying his head on my chest. I ran my fingers through the longer parts of his hair, pulling them back behind his ears.
“I feel like I’ve known you my whole life,” he said quietly.
I looked down, his eyes were glistening in the moonlight, but he was focused on the horizon.
“Is that a stupid thing to say?” he immediately backpedalled.
I shook my head, “No.”
“Maybe we’ve known each other before,” he said absently. “If you believe in that past life sort of shit.”
“I don’t know what I believe in,” I answered lowly.
“If it’s real,” he said to me. “We’re part of a past life now.”
I just stared down at him. He didn’t seem to notice.
“Maybe we’ll know each other in the next life too,” he smiled.
“Planning on leaving us so soon?” I teased.
He sat up then, a playful grin on his face, “I’m too good for this world, didn’t you hear?”
“I had actually heard rumblings to that effect,” I giggled.
He looked at me for a minute, I could see his mind working itself over.
“You’re beautiful,” he told me quietly. “Too beautiful to end up with someone like me.”
I tilted my head at him irritated, “You need to knock that shit off.”
“What shit?” he grinned—the little fucker.
“You know what,” I mumbled. “Quit it….Rev.”
He cackled, “Holy shit, don’t call me that. It’s weird to hear it from you.”
“Aw, little Revvy doesn’t like being called Rev?” I teased, using my squeakiest voice.
“I’ve never minded,” he smirked. “Until just now.”
“You don’t like when I call you James…You don’t like when I call you Rev. Next thing I know, you won’t like when I call you Jimmy.”
“I like when you call me Baby,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
I shook my head with a groan, “I’ve literally never called you that.”
“You will later,” he grinned deviously.
I gave him a little shove, my cheeks a shade of red, “Don’t.”
As our little flirtation fizzled out under the light of the moon, Jimmy looked immediately more seriously.
“What are you doing for Christmas Eve?” he asked me. “That’s soon.”
“It is,” I nodded. “I’ll probably be working.”
“No, you fucking won’t,” he chuckled. “Come to my parents with me. They’re not nearly as cool as I am but they’ll feed you.”
My heart stopped.
“You want me to come with you,” I repeated slowly. “To your parents.”
“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged. “Unless you think it’s a big deal—I’ve never thought of it as this momentous milestone, but I guess I can appreciate that some people—”
“Stop talking,” I laughed awkwardly, trying to decide if I thought it was a big deal or not.
He smiled a little but did, indeed, stop talking.
“Can I think about it?” I asked uncomfortably.
He shrugged again, “Sure.”
My problem wasn’t so much that Jimmy had invited me to Christmas dinner. My problem was mostly that if I accepted, and attended, but didn’t invite him to be with my family…I didn’t want him to feel like I was hiding him away. Even if I was. But maybe he wouldn’t think of it that way—he did just say he didn’t see the whole parents thing as a big deal.
I was out of my league here.
I’d have to run it by Jenny for a second opinion.
But I couldn’t help but note the ping of excitement in my chest at the prospect of spending Christmas with Jimmy. I knew already that I’d end up with him anywhere he asked—I’d already followed him to the ocean at a ridiculous time of night. I didn’t think I’d ever learn to say no to him.
I never wanted to say no to him.
Maybe I had known an addiction; maybe it was him.

Notes

What do we think? Should she go? Should she decline?

More importantly, should she be bringing Jimmy with her to her family's Christmas party?

xx

Comments

Fyction's profile is currently offline due to sign-in issues on the website.
You can find her updates at:
www.A7Xfanfic.com

RamonaFoREVer RamonaFoREVer
6/18/19

@kiss my sas
I'm sorry!!!! Didn't mean to kick you while you're down, I swear!!

fyction fyction
5/14/19

I'm so proud of you for finishing this masterpiece, but I am SO SAD!!!
WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN AND UPSETTING THE SICK AUSSIE?!??!?!
WHAT IS LIFE??!???!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

IT IS NOT OVER!!!
I REFUSE TO ADMIT IT IS OVER!!!!!!
PLAGUIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19

Holy shit, holy shit, I am not prepared!!!!
Going to read the... last... chapter now...

kiss my sas kiss my sas
5/14/19