Just Before You Go

My life had gone on, business as usual. Wednesday came and went, and not a single soul from Avenged showed their faces. Jenny had been devastated to hear that I’d split myself from Jimmy. I put on a brave face and pretended like I didn’t care.
The truth was that I’d toss and turn all night. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat. The only thing that I could think about was Jimmy. I hadn’t heard anything about him since the day Brian showed up to get me. I assumed he was alright—I’m sure I would have caught something on the news if he’d died.
My life was admittedly much more boring with Jimmy in it. I hadn’t realized how much of my time he’d really been taking up until I was left to my own devices.
Why couldn’t he have just been honest with me?
Though, I wasn’t sure that I would have been able to look passed a drug problem, even if Jimmy had been truthful about it. I’d been struggling enough with the whole alcoholic thing.
But we’d never know.
After a week of pining and regretting the choice that I’d made, my mind had decided to ease up on me. Rage took the place of longing—and I stayed that way. He’d done this to himself, and effectively, he’d done this to me. He was the reason we would never be together, not me.
“Hey, could I get another?” a handsome little devil called to me, pulling me back to reality.
I smiled, “Sure, sorry about that.”
I cracked another beer for him and passed it him, intentionally so he’d have to touch me. I guess I really needed to fill the void Jimmy had left.
“Thanks,” he said politely.
I nodded, returning to my stock. There were many, many beer cases on the floor that needed to be emptied into the fridges. It seemed like I was always the one appointed with the task.
“Hey,” he spoke again, “you wouldn’t happen to have the time, would you?”
I looked at him weirdly, “There’s a clock right above me.”
He smirked, “Ah shit. Next time I’ll have to come up with a better excuse to talk to you.”
My cheeks flushed red, “If you want to talk to me, just talk to me.”
“Could I get your name?” he asked charmingly.
His eyes were brown—which I decided was a good thing. I didn’t need anymore crystalized beauties confusing my priorities and expectations. But they didn’t do a whole lot for me.
“Aria,” I told him.
He smiled, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aria. I’m Dean.”
I went back to stocking the fridge. Eternally awkward, regardless of circumstance.
“I’m not normally so forward,” he said to my back. “But I’m new around here and I’d love to take you out sometime.”
“Take me out where?” I asked over my shoulder.
He smiled widely, “Wherever you’d like.”
While I was entertaining his proposal, my heart was sad. I was missing my tall and partly gothic man, who’d fumbled a date and then saved it in spades. I wanted to be back in that car with him.
But then I remembered the trace he’d left on the sink—and the pounding in my chest as we drove to the hospital.
“Sure,” I smiled, determined to cleanse my system of Jimmy. “I’d love to.”
“Great!” he beamed. “I’m out of town for work for the next few days…I’ll be back Tuesday night—Wednesday work for you?”
Wednesday.
Wednesday was Jimmy’s bar day.
Stop.
“Wednesday is fine,” I nodded. “I work until nine next Wednesday though.”
“A late movie, then,” he suggested.
I smiled, “Sure.”
“Well, Miss Aria,” he smirked, standing to take his leave. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you. I will see you on Wednesday. Nine o’clock.”
He left and I felt guilty. I felt like I was cheating on someone who wasn’t even a part of my life anymore. I told myself it was fine to move on. Maybe Jimmy had just been the catalyst I needed to get me back into the dating world. Now, I just had to actually date.
But all I wanted to do was date Jimmy.


“Just go and have a good time,” Jenny encouraged me. “He sounds cute.”
“I haven’t even described him,” I laughed.
She shrugged, “If you’re willing to date him, he must be cute.”
“He is,” I sighed—no one was cuter than Jimmy.
Jenny sensed my conflict, “Forget Jimmy. He fucked up. He’s too much drama. You need a nice guy, someone you can show off.”
I just nodded.
But the mood changed within an instant.
At exactly eight thirty, in walked the boys of Avenged—with Jimmy. I honestly thought I might throw up.
“Oh my god,” I panicked. “Jenny. Jenny.”
She looked flustered by my sudden need for attention but the second she turned to look at me, she spotted them. She went into protective mode right away, flying over to them and pushing them into a back corner’s table. Bless her soul.
But I couldn’t help myself. My eyes kept finding their way back to Jimmy. I was happy to see he looked back to his normal self.
I also couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were finding me, too.
At nine o’clock, my Mystery Dean rolled in. He was just as handsome as I’d remembered, but I couldn’t shake that guilty feeling. Especially with Jimmy watching.
“Hey,” he smiled, taking a seat at the bar.
“Hey,” I answered quickly. “It’s a little busy in here, so I’m not quite ready to go. Do you mind waiting?”
He shook his head, “Not at all.”
Jenny slid him a beer, with a wink, “On us.”
Jimmy looked pissed. He watched me talk to this new hunky guy and I could tell he knew what was going on.
Just as we were getting ready to go, and Dean was waiting on the other side of the counter for me, Jimmy surprised us both and stepped in between us.
“Can I talk to you?” he said lowly, almost in a growl.
I scowled, “No.”
I tried to step around him but he wasn’t having it. His beautiful blues were pleading with me.
“Please, Aria,” he asked sadly. “Just for a second.”
I sighed, forcing a smile to Dean and telling him that I’d be right back.
I dragged Jimmy to the end of the bar, where it felt a little more private and demanded he talk fast.
“You can’t date that guy,” he told me seriously.
“I can,” I retorted. “And I’m going to. If you’ll excuse me—”
“Aria,” he groaned, grabbing my arm to pull me back. “You can’t.”
“Oh, please, tell me why I can’t date someone,” I hissed.
He grabbed my face and pulled me into him, pushing his lips onto mine. For a second I forgot where I was and I let him.
But his face in the hospital reminded me why I couldn’t let him in. I pushed him away.
“Don’t,” I snapped.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “About what happened—not about the kiss. I will never apologize for kissing you.”
“Jimmy, I don’t have time for this,” I rushed, trying to leave again.
He pleaded with me, “I’ll quit everything. I’ll stop. I swear on my life.”
“I’m not doing this now,” I told him again seriously.
Jimmy’s eyes were beating into mine, “Aria, I can’t lose you.”
I wanted to slap him. I wanted to yell and kick and scream. But something inside of me wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t know what to do.
“I can’t do this right now,” I said again.
“Then when?”
I sighed, looking from him to Dean and back again, “Come by my place later. I have to go.”
And he let me go.

Notes

xx