Just Before You Go

Luke stayed on shore while Grace and I swam around in the ocean. She teased me, many, many times, about shark sightings. She thought it was a riot; I did not. Maybe I didn’t like her.
“Has your brother brought home many girlfriends?” Grace asked me so casually that I almost didn’t realize she was digging for information.
I obliged her, “Not really. He dated a girl a few years back that came around a bit but she was a crazy person. I’m glad she’s gone.”
“Catherine?” she asked with her face scrunched.
I nodded.
“I thought Luke was exaggerating,” she giggled.
“No exaggeration needed,” I assured her. “She was really whiny…and controlling. She keyed his car when they broke up—or she meant to, anyway. She keyed my car.”
“What a bitch!” she gasped.
I grinned, “She was indeed.”
“Well, I’m not a bitch,” she smiled. “And I’m only a little crazy.”
“Just don’t key my car if things head south, okay?” I joked.
She snickered, “No promises.”
Catherine and Luke had dated for exactly sixteen months. She was always professing that they were soul mates and that she was going to take his last name. My parents were horrified by her nature but she came from a good family and was working on a psychology doctorate so they tolerated her. We were all relieved when they finally split.
Grace was Luke’s first girlfriend, that I knew about, since the crazy woman. She was a welcomed change.
“Do you think your parents will like me?” she asked quietly. “We’re supposed to have dinner with them tonight…I’m very nervous.”
I shook my head, “Don’t be. They’ll eat you up. You’re basically the woman they’ve always envisioned Luke finding.”
“Well that’s nice,” she lightened up. “What about Jimmy? Would they like him?”
“Probably not,” I laughed.
She grimaced a little, “That’s sad. If you like him, they should like him.”
“Should being the operative word,” I noted.
It wasn’t an issue for me, whether or not my parents would like him. Mostly because we weren’t at a stage where I felt that would even be a scenario, but also because at that particular moment I wasn’t sure that I liked Jimmy. I’d already had enough of his bailing and we’d hardly spent any time together at all. Red flags all around.
But of course, because things can never be black and white, Grace pointed to shore happily—and there was Jimmy. It was impossible to miss him, he stuck out like a sore thumb against all the bright sand. Again, dressed head-to-toe in black.
I didn’t know what to make of him. Should I have been relieved? Happy?
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he’d slept in. At least he’d shown up.
Luke and I seemingly traded places as I swam to shore. He was just diving in.
“Hey,” he said quietly as we passed each other, he grabbed my arm to turn me around.
I tilted my head.
“What do you think?” he asked giddily. “Do you like her?”
“She’s nice,” I nodded once. “Seems cool.”
“Great,” he smiled widely.
He let me go and I watched as he swam out to his girlfriend, taking her into his arms. Young love; how adorable.
“Hey there,” I said to Jimmy as I collapsed onto my towel next to where he was seated.
He looked a little guilty, “Sorry I’m late.”
I shrugged, “No big deal.”
Liar.
“I was working on something,” he explained lamely. “Lost track of time.”
“It’s fine,” I urged again.
“How’s hanging with your brother?” he asked curiously.
“Alright,” I replied callously.
He eyed me up a little, trying to read me.
“Everything okay?” he asked boldly.
I looked at him and forced a smile, “Sure.”
I wasn’t typically passive aggressive but I figured there was a time and a place for serious conversations. Noon at the beach with your visiting family hardly seemed like the appropriate venue.
“Should I not have come?” Jimmy asked uncomfortably.
I sighed, feeling a little bad, “No, I’m glad you’re here…I’m just…Can we talk about it later?”
He looked nervous but he agreed anyway.
“What were you working on?” I asked once an unsettling silence had fallen between us.
He looked excited again, “I’ve been writing songs for our new album! I was working on one this morning—sometimes I get a little carried away by things.”
“You don’t say,” I mumbled. “What’s the song?”
“Can’t tell you,” he smirked. “It’s a secret. Classified information.”
I studied him for a second and it was immediately clear that he was serious. I honestly didn’t care very much anyway. When it came to music, I didn’t have much to contribute. I didn’t know anything about songwriting or the process that goes into it.
Though, I was amazed by people who were able to create music. There’s a certain magic to the ability that I didn’t possess, but was always in awe of. How someone can create a melody in their brain and then use instruments to demonstrate it…Beyond me.
“You work tonight, right?” he asked me once he realized I wasn’t going to acknowledge his mysterious response.
I nodded, my eyes glued to the horizon.
If I looked at him, I was sure I’d forget about all of my concerns. One look into those baby blue eyes and I’d be hooked all over again. He was, at least, wearing sunglasses—so if I had to look at him, I had a little protection.
“What time will you be off?”
I shrugged subtly, “Earlier than usual. I took the mid-day shift…so, probably eight-ish.”
“Eight?” he repeated excitedly. “That is early!”
I was too tired for his eccentricities. That, and I was mad.
“If you don’t have plans after work,” he started, twiddling his thumbs as he spoke, “I was thinking maybe you could come over…to my place.”
I caved and looked at him.
“I was going to offer to make you dinner but I guess eight is pretty late to eat…” he made a face.
My stupid lips betrayed me and curved themselves into a smile, “I could eat at eight.”
He looked pleased, “Sweet. Dinner at my place at eight.”
“Text me the address later,” I replied casually.


Work was dead. I’d had three tables my entire shift. No one had sat at the bar and no one was really drinking. This, I decided, was the shift that would make me poor. So when Jenny rolled in at six to start her shift, I was thankful to have some company.
“It’s like a graveyard in here,” she noted as she packed her belongings away under the counter.
“I scared them all away with my wit,” I joked.
She laughed, “Apparently.”
“Can I ask you something?” I blurted, taking a seat at the stool across from where she was standing.
“Anything!”
I rubbed at my neck, “It’s about Jimmy.”
“Okay,” she replied slowly. “What’s up?”
“How well do you know him?”
She shrugged, “Not very well. I know some things. What’s on your mind?”
“When you said he had some problems…What did you mean?”
She squinted at me before shaking her head, “Nope. I’m not getting into that.”
“Jenny,” I pushed.
“I love ya, I do,” she replied hurriedly. “But you guys obviously have something going on and I’m not putting myself in the middle of it. Why don’t you just ask him?”
“Because I don’t know what the problem is,” I snapped harsher than I meant to. “It’s just that…he’s always disappearing. He’s late for things or he just takes off and I never get anything more than some lame excuse.”
She pursed her lips and shrugged, “I told you not to date him.”
“I’m not dating him,” I groaned. “I’m—I don’t know what we’re doing.”
“You’re right on the verge of dating him,” Jenny snickered. “I know it, you know it. He probably knows it.”
“What do I do, Jen?” I sighed. “It’s not really any of my business…but it’s really starting to bother me.”
She furrowed her brows, “It’s definitely your business. Aria, if you’re going to date this person, you deserve to know what’s going on. If he won’t tell you what his deal is, I say you run for the hills, girl.”
“I’m supposed to go have dinner with him after work,” I told her. “At his house.”
“Perfect!” she smirked. “You need to bring it up to him. Jimmy is honestly super sweet…I’m sure he’s not flaking on you on purpose.”
I muttered, “Guess we’ll see…”
The next two hours dragged on. I was obviously preoccupied with impending discomfort—I hated confrontation. But I knew if I wanted to let go of the resentment and suspicion that had been building, I was going to have to talk it out with Jimmy. Stupid adult problems.
To my surprise, he actually sent me his address like I’d asked. Part of me had assumed he’d go AWOL again.
I caught a cab to his house and was stunned by its size. He lived right on the beach, real close to me like he’d said before. The windows were lit from inside. Somewhere in there, Jimmy was living his life.
I nervously tapped at the door, feeling more anxious than I’d decided was reasonable.
“Hey!” he beamed as he opened the door.
He pulled me in and pushed the door shut behind me.
“I’m making spaghetti,” he told me as he started to walk away. “I don’t really know how to make anything else. Do you even like pasta? I probably should have asked first.”
“Pasta is good,” I half-laughed.
I was marveling at his home. It was far tidier than I’d expected—it smelled like Jimmy.
My nose led me to him, where he was slaving away overtop the stove. It was steaming and boiling and smelled like heaven.
I took a seat on one of his bar stools beneath the kitchen island and watched him move around. God, he was tall.
“How was work?” he asked politely.
I shrugged, “Dead.”
“Lame,” he replied.
“Can I ask you something?” I started right away. “It’s sort of…personal…but I really need to clear some things up or I’m going to be weird all through dinner.”
He turned only his head to look at me, looking absolutely confused.
“Ask away,” he said finally, turning back to the pots.
I shifted my weight in my seat, “Um…I don’t really know how to start…”
“At the beginning,” I could hear the grin in his voice.
“When you vanished,” I started slowly, “right after I met you…Where did you go?”
His body stiffened noticeably. I tried not to be concerned by it.
“Why?” he asked. “That’s ancient history.”
“Not really,” I sighed. “You seem to do that a lot…disappear.”
“Name one other time,” he challenged.
He was now turned to face me and boy, was it ever intimidating. He was big and his eyes were looking particularly broody. He didn’t look impressed with my sudden curiosity.
“The night at the bar,” I said seriously. “When you said you drove Brian home.”
“I did,” he replied. “Should I have made him walk?”
His response made me feel a little stupid. Was I being too sensitive? Too overbearing? Controlling? I didn’t feel like I was being those things but my issue was starting to look a little hazy.
“No,” I sort of laughed. “It just seemed strange given that you’d recently disappeared for a week…and then you were late to the beach today…”
“I’m sorry about that,” he said sternly.
I sighed, trying to change my body language to appear less aggressive, “I’m not trying to get all up in your business…I’m just curious if this is something I need to be concerned about.”
Jimmy slid his elbows onto the island counter, propping his head up with his hands.
“Okay, let’s be real,” he said, his icy blues hooking me. “You can be concerned about whatever you want to be. You don’t need to be concerned about me though.”
I squinted, “Okay…”
“I get, uh…a little obsessive,” he said carefully. “I can get really caught up in things and I can’t put them down until they’re perfect. Sometimes I just need to do my things and not feel like the world is creeping at my door—I can try and not to do that with you, though.”
“I get it,” I tried to reason with myself. “I was like that when I was in law school. I was constantly shutting myself away to study…I guess if you could just, like, give me a head’s up next time?”
He smirked, “No problem.”
I felt a little better but still not entirely convinced. I knew that Jimmy had some demons, even if I wasn’t entirely sure what they were. I couldn’t help but think that his disappearances might have something to do with the demons, but if he said they weren’t…who was I to argue? I hardly knew him. I was just going to have to trust him.
“Dinner smells great,” I smiled, hoping to change the subject without resistance.
Jimmy bounced back to the stove, pulling everything off of the elements and dumping the contents into various bowls. He slid a black plate in front of me and tossed a fork onto it.
“I hope you’re hungry,” he grinned. “I made enough noodles to feed a fucking village.”
I held my plate up as he scooped spaghetti onto my plate. I waited to dig in until he’d plated his own food and taken a seat beside me. He poured me a glass of the same wine he’d brought to my house before and he cracked a beer.
The spaghetti was delicious.
“We’re going to a cabin in a couple of weeks,” Jimmy told me with a mouthful of saucy noodles.
I twirled my noodles around my fork, “Oh? To go and write?”
He nodded, chewing dramatically until finally swallowing his mouthful down, “Yeah. The guys don’t want to be distracted and we really have to get moving on this album.”
“That’s cute,” I smirked. “A little camping getaway.”
“I don’t really get it,” Jimmy groaned. “Why is it that I can lock myself up in my house to work but the others can’t? I don’t want to go to a cabin.”
“I bet it’ll be fun,” I encouraged. “It’s a chance to hang out with your friends at the very least.”
“I guess,” he grumbled, stabbing a meatball with his fork.
“So, my brother seems to like you a lot,” I told Jimmy casually. “And his girlfriend recognized you right away.”
“Really?” Jimmy chuckled. “That’s awesome.”
“You’re pretty unmistakable,” I told him seriously. “Though, I will say that you look like you belong to a British punk band.”
He squinted at me.
I reached out and rustled his hair, “It’s the haircut.”
“I like my hair,” he pouted at me.
“So do I!” I backpedaled. “But you definitely look like you were a part of the British invasion.”
“Perhaps I was,” he said in his best British accent.
I smiled smugly, “I knew it.”
“We need bread,” Jimmy decided loudly.
He ducked away from the table and began rummaging through his cupboards, eventually finding his desired loaf. He brought the whole bag over to the counter and dropped it between us.
“I think we should go on a date,” he said then as he pulled four slices of bread from the loaf.
I finished chewing my mouthful, “Is this not a date?”
“I don’t fucking know,” he laughed. “I don’t really date. But it stands to reason that we should probably go on an actual…”
His gears were turning.
“Date,” I finished for him with a playful shake of my head.
He rolled his eyes, “I wanted a synonym. I swear I’m articulate.”
“What kind of date did you have in mind?” I asked curiously, shoveling another forkful into my mouth.
“I don’t know,” he said, obviously thinking. “What do you like to do? No! Scratch that! I know exactly what we’re going to do.”
I waited for him to continue, but as usual, he did not.
“What?” I asked with a chuckle.
“It’s a surprise,” he grinned.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I hated surprises. So, I let it go and I let him start making a plan in his pretty head. My mind was still fixated on the accidental confirmation I’d just received from Jimmy that we were, in fact, beginning some form of a relationship.
A date. I could definitely go on a date with Jimmy. Even if it was a stupid surprise.

Notes

Do we believe Jimmy? Hmmmmmmmm..

xx