Almost Easy

Interesting tid bit about life: vomiting violently on a bus is one of the most difficult things ever. Ever.
We all boarded the admittedly pretty fancy bus at just after seven o’clock in the morning. I was still fucked. Most of us were still inebriated, much to Austin’s dismay. He scolded each of us and just kept asking ‘why’. It was hilarious and none of us gave a fuck about what he thought.
He was also really curious about Jimmy’s arrival and subsequent joining of our band of miscreants.
“I belong here, man,” Jimmy had told him with a pat on the shoulder. “My name is Synyster Gates.”
“You are not Synyster Gates,” Austin argued tiredly.
Jimmy did not relent, “I am. We’ve met, like, at least a dozen times. I’m a little offended that you don’t know who I am.”
“If you’re Synyster Gates, then who is that?” Austin groaned, pointing at Brian who was killing himself laughing.
Brian was also quite drunk still.
“I don’t know, man,” Jimmy frowned. “Never seen him before in my life.”
Austin sighed deeply, “Just get on the bus.”
“I’m in!” Jimmy cheered before ducking into the black bus.
The hilarity had continued for a while. That is, at least, until we started to actually move. Then it was balls to the walls for my guts. The bathroom shook with the movement of the bus—all of the drugs in my system, paired with copious amounts of liquor, made it really difficult to see straight.
“Hold her head, Brian!” Jimmy shouted somewhere behind me.
I was going to tell Jimmy to fuck off but a wave of puke pulsed through my body and forced its way out. A hand pushed my face closer to the toilet, relieving me of any nerves about missing.
“Rookie,” Jimmy cackled behind me.
“Who has my head?” I asked from inside the toilet.
Brian laughed, “I do.”
I was going to apologize for the unsightly scene he was playing witness to but nope. Instead, my body heaved painfully once again; emptying my insides of everything I’d ever put in them.
This continued for a while, Brian lost his footing at one point when the bus made a sharp turn. He fell backwards into the hallway and we both keeled over in laughter. But the joy caused my stomach to turn again so it didn’t last long for me.
Eventually I was freed of the nausea and was able to regain my group—most of which were passed out in various places around the bus. Justin was asleep atop his folded arms at the table, John was passed out on the couch. Chris was still mobile but was looking a little worse for wear.
“Which bed is mine?” he asked groggily as he neared Brian and I, standing in the middle of the bunks.
“Whatever one you want,” I answered weakly, my throat hurt so bad.
“Top bunk for me,” he smiled proudly and climbed into a bunk.
That left Jimmy, Brian, and me. We each climbed into the seats around the table, careful not to wake the sleeping Justin beside Jimmy. I was ready for bed but Jimmy and Brian were wide awake.
“Why did we have to leave so early?” Jimmy whined. “Vegas is like an hour away.”
“It’s four hours,” I replied with a yawn. “Without traffic.”
“I stand by what I’ve asked,” he said to me with his eyebrows raised.
“They asked for an extra night in Vegas,” Brian answered for me, sensing my troubled soul.
I was rubbing at my temples. Every muscle in my body was pained and throbbing.
“Seriously?” Jimmy gasped excitedly.
“It wasn’t our call,” I tried to explain through my pounding headache. “It was Still Borne’s.”
“What the fuck is a Still Borne?” Jimmy cackled.
Brian smirked, “That’s the other band on the tour.”
“I’ve never heard of them,” he continued to cackle. “What a stupid fucking name.”
“We can’t all be Avenged Sevenfold,” I told Jimmy with a giggle. “Every name sounds stupid next to that shit.”
“They should have called up Matt and asked for some suggestions,” Jimmy said seriously. “Still Borne. I can’t handle that.”
He went off into a crazed fit of laughter, repeating the band’s name over and over…and over.
Brian reached around my neck and pulled my face into his, planting a sweet kiss on my cheek as I giggled at Jimmy’s outburst. Laughter was contagious. I was trying not to let mine cause me to throw up.
“Anyway,” Jimmy finally took a breath, still smiling like an idiot. “Have we met them? Are they cool?”
“I’ve met the singer briefly,” I shrugged, covering my mouth as a rather large yawn escaped me. “He was pretty cool.”
“Good,” Jimmy accepted my weak response. “Still a stupid fucking name though.”
“Says the Reverend Tholomew Plague,” I noted sarcastically.
Jimmy gawked at me, faking hurt—maybe actually hurt. I wasn’t sure. She pouted really dramatically.
“That’s cold,” he said to me with a straight face. “I never would have expected that from you.”
“You know I love you,” I giggled.
He shook his head, “No love here, man. No love.”
I yawned again.
“Oh for fuck’s sakes,” Jimmy groaned. “Brian, take your girlfriend to bed. She’s embarrassing herself.”
Brian smirked.
“I am not,” I argued with blushed cheeks.
Jimmy shook his head in disapproval, “One night of partying Jimmy style and you can hardly keep your shit together. I’m disappointed in you, Blair.”
“Come on,” Brian chuckled, pulling at my arm. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“Only if you’re staying with me,” I told him in my most alluring voice.
“As long as you face the other way,” Brian smirked. “You smell like Jimmy.”
“That’s a compliment, Blair,” Jimmy told me.
Brian led me to the bunks and we decided on a ground level bed that would effectively become mine. I was shorter than the others and, so, climbing into a top bunk every night would certainly grow to be more of an inconvenience than anything. Plus, if Brian took the bunk above me, we wouldn’t have to worry about the noise we’d surely be making.
“Rev!” Brian called out from inside my bunk. “Take the bunk above us tonight, would ya?”
“Yep,” Jimmy called back with little enthusiasm.
With that, Brian pulled the little black curtain shut and we sank into my pillows. Brian pulled me into his chest, wrapping both arms around me tightly. I closed my eyes and consciously made a memory.
“First tour,” Brian thought aloud. “I’m happy I’m here for it.”
“Me too,” I whispered, already falling into a dream in Brian’s arms.
He kissed my forehead and I was asleep.

When my eyes opened again, Brian wasn’t with me. I rubbed at my eyelids, as if I could force the pain away. I grumbled to myself before pushing my way out of the bunk. We were stopped and the bus was apparently abandoned. Hell, the door was still open.
For a second I thought I might be in some sort of zombie movie. Isn’t that how zombie movies always start? I made my way to the back of the bus, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as I passed.
The sun met me with great disdain. It almost knocked me off my feet.
“Morning, Sunshine!” Justin greeted me enthusiastically as I stumbled out of the bus.
I threw my hand over my eyes to block the light, and could then see everyone standing around staring at me.
“What time is it?” I groaned.
“Four,” Justin snickered. “You slept all fucking day.”
I didn’t see Brian or Jimmy. I tried not to care about where they were.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked lamely, trying to soothe my aching throat with water.
“Admiring the heat,” John shrugged.
“Your boyfriends went to get dinner,” Justin told me even though I hadn’t asked.
“Both of them?” I smirked.
“Yeah,” Justin nodded. “Crew is setting up inside.”
“What an efficient little group we’ve assembled,” Chris teased.
“We invited Still over to our bus for pizza,” John told me.
I was so fucking hung over that I straight up did not care. They could have invited the pope himself and I still would not have given a flying fuck.
“Wait,” I was confused. “Why did Brian and Jimmy go get the pizza? What’s wrong with you guys? Or, I don’t know, delivery?”
“Delivery to a couple of busses in a parking lot?” Justin retorted sarcastically.
“They volunteered,” Chris shrugged.
“It’s too fucking hot out here,” I decided aloud. “Let me know when they’re back.”
“Love you too,” Justin teased as I retreated into the bus.
I felt like shit. Nevada was disturbingly hot. I smelled like something that had just crawled out of a sewer…I decided that a cold shower might remedy a couple of my current issues.
The shower on the bus was cramped and had the strangest smell. I tried to be a sport and just suck it up but we were less than a day in and I was already super bitter. I decided it was just the hang over and that I needed to enjoy my new reality.
Tyler would have made it fun right away. Instead, I was alone and nauseated. He would have reined me in the night before, reminding me that I’d have to sit on a bus for hours the next day. God fucking damn shit did I ever miss my friend.
Before the loneliness could develop into a full-on meltdown, I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I scrubbed vigorously at the acid that had collected in my mouth. Vomit really did a wonder.
I was relieved to find the bus was still silent upon my emerge. I slipped into my bunk and pulled out my makeup bag.
With a couple dabs of pigment and a few drags of gel liner, I was looking good as new. Still felt like shit though. I figured looking together would just have to suffice.
“You look energetic,” Jimmy grinned at me as he came through the front door.
I was just pulling a shirt over my head but it had gotten stuck and I was shimmying every which way in an attempt to pull it down.
“I’m stuck,” I pouted from inside the shirt, my arms stuck above my head.
“Don’t you tell Brian,” Jimmy warned me with a laugh as he came to my rescue and pulled my shirt down past my head. “You’re all wet.”
“I showered,” I replied awkwardly.
“Oh,” he smirked. “Thought it might be from my touch. I hear it’s good stuff.”
“Fuck off, Jimmy,” I laughed.
“We brought pizza,” Jimmy smiled proudly. “We’re having a party.”
“No,” I groaned. “No more parties. Not tonight.”
“Okay, buzzkill,” Jimmy chuckled. “You drink your water and we’ll drink the vodka.”
“Where’s Brian?” I asked, surveying the still empty bus. “And the pizza?”
“Pizza is on the crew’s bus,” he told me. “Brian is probably outside smoking.”
“Smoking,” I sighed. “I want to do that.”
This time, I was prepared for the outdoors. I came equipped with my fancy wayfarer sunglasses tucked neatly over my tired eyes. I’d opted for a tank but it still wasn’t cool enough. Nevada was dry.
I lit a cigarette and took a seat on the pavement, leaning myself against one of the bus’s wheels. The nicotine soothed my tired soul.
Brian rounded the back of the bus and smiled when he caught sight of me. He took a seat next to me and lit a smoke. We sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the others talk and the drum tech shoot the shit with Jimmy.
It was fucking surreal.
“We got food,” Brian told me quietly.
I nodded, “I heard.”
“I got you your stupid pineapple pizza,” he said with a grin.
A smile crept across my face, “Thanks, Bri.”
“Feeling like shit or what?” he laughed, rubbing at my thigh with his hand.
I nodded again, taking a really long drag of my cigarette, “Like I got hit by a train.”
“Sorry, Babe,” he frowned at me and then looked back to the group.
“I hear we’re hosting dinner,” I thought aloud, looking to Brian for clarification.
“Apparently,” he shrugged. “Justin thought it would be fun.”
“Fun,” I scoffed. “If it’s Justin’s idea, that means it’s about a girl.”
Brian looked at me then, the cigarette dangling from his perfect lips. He looked confused but unsure how to verbalize his uncertainty.
“A girl?” he asked.
“Mhm.”
“What girl?” Brian half-laughed.
“Any girl,” I shrugged. “Still Borne’s bassist is a girl. Our guitar tech is a girl. Hell, our merch girl is a…girl.”
Brian laughed, but still looked confused, “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend at home?”
I eyed Brian slowly; I loved that his response to Justin’s endeavors was to question who was waiting for him back home. I loved that Brian thought of that at all.
“He does,” I finally said.
Brian shook his head, pulling at his cigarette, “That’s shitty of him.”
“That’s Justin,” I sighed. “He’s a piece of shit but he’s good at his job. We dance an ethical line in this band.”
Brian smiled absently, “I guess we’ve all done shitty things.”
“I guess,” I said because I wasn’t sure what else to say.
I’d never been on tour. I’d never done anything shitty. But, I guess, in my life I’d probably done shitty things. I’d traded my best friend’s life for a date with some guy. That was probably the shittiest thing anyone had ever done. If I’d just stayed home instead of chasing some fantasy man around…
I was shitty.
I tried to push the memory away. Behind the memory of Tyler’s calls was always the impending scene at his apartment. It haunted me everywhere I went—and if I gave it too much power, it would surely consume me.
The lights, the panic. The officer in the stairwell…the way the stars glimmered in the dark night sky. It had been almost calm for a second before they’d wheeled Tyler out. Before I knew for sure that he was gone. That I had failed him.
All for one fucking night.
“You okay?” Brian asked, breaking me of my thoughts.
I was grateful.
With a forced smile, I lied, “I’m good.”

Notes

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